Vaudevillain

Dr. Zlo appeared inside his usual haunt, the repurposed mansion on the underside of Skyline. His minions came to greet him, alerted to his presence by the clattering of surprised Jacques.

“Boss!” Cass said as soon as he came down. “Thank goodness you’re here! Some of the Jacques thought it would be a good idea to bake you a cake in the kitchen.”

“How repulsive,” Dr. Zlo said. “You know I abhor any form of kindness.”

Cass wrung his hands together. “I know, boss. I tried to warn them. But they just made dismissive gestures and continued with their task.”

“Well, feel free to get Brunhilde to punish them,” Dr. Zlo said. “She’ll whip them into shape.”

“That’s just it, boss,” Cass said. “One of the Jacques baking the cake is Brunhilde’s lover.”

Dr. Zlo rolled his eyes. “Fine. It seems I must do everything myself!”

Dylan strode up the stairs, opening his messenger as he did.

Superfan39526:

JackOLeen:

No worries.

The player made their way into the kitchen. A squad of Jacques stood around a single mixing bowl, each taking a turn to stir what looked to be cake batter. Dylan didn’t have to act to make a face, the batter looked lumpy.

“What is this nonsense!” He shouted.

The Jacques jumped and then turned as one to try and hide the bowl.

“Don’t you try and hide that!” Dr. Zlo roared. “Cass told me you were attempting to bake me a cake! Me, the foremost criminal mastermind!”

The Jacques all nodded. The four behind the one in front pushed the minion, making him stumble forward.

“Well,” Dr. Zlo said with an arched eyebrow. “Explain yourself.”

The Jacques performed a series of hand gestures, many of which Dylan couldn’t catch. However, he was able to uncover the gist of the conversation.

“You wanted to do something special for our yearly anniversary?” The villain asked incredulously.

The Jacques all nodded.

Dr. Zlo softened. “Well, I’ll be. No one’s ever done something like that for me before.”

The Jacques turned their heads sheepishly.

“And that’s because everyone knows that I abhor such niceties!” The villain shouted.

The Jacques jumped in surprise as Dr. Zlo blasted the cake batter with his monocle, turning it and the bowl to pieces.

“Now, follow me. We’re meeting up with our usual ne’erdowells and I expect you to be on your worst behavior.”

The Jacques nodded frantically, practically tripping over each other to follow Dr. Zlo.

The Villain in question walked out of his hideout door and into the streets of Skyline. Other villains skulked around the hideout, perhaps looking for chances to invade. Or more likely, to accost Dr. Zlo.

Dylan had made quite a name for himself in the past months, what with all the streaming videos his friends put on Viewtube. He had watched a few, mostly because he was curious, and was surprised to see how many people enjoyed his shenanigans. Millions of people viewed the channel and it had apparently inspired many of the players to join Menagerie.

For a bit, there had been a few players in the faction that had tried to constantly befriend him, but the leadership had put a stop to that. Dextra and the others had instituted a rule that left Dr. Zlo his privacy. Now, those looking to be in a video followed him in the background, doing their best not to be seen until a big reveal.

Dr. Zlo made his way to the central skyscraper where the cafe stood. The OOC lounge was where players could relax both in and out of character. Heroes and villains mingled about, friends and acquaintances discussing or making small talk. Sweet Dream, Riptide, Oro, and who Dylan assumed to be Jack all sat at a table near the edge of the room.

The noticeable thing about Jack’s new character were the high cheekbones. It gave her an austere look that reminded Dylan of a strict teacher, a far cry from her more personable crafting character. The other standout change was her hair. It was neither messy nor a pixie cut but neatly cut brown curls that looked stiffened with gel. She wore a black pintstripe suit that gave her a threatening air. The machine gun resting beside the chair helped bring it all together.

“Wow, that is some character design,” Dylan said as he sat down.

Jack smiled, her strict look breaking apart as she talked. “Thanks. I modeled it off Bonnie from Bonnie and Clyde but added some May Day from Bond. You’ve got that classic villain thing going so I figured a classic assassin was a perfect addition.”

“And Dr. Zlo doesn’t have an assassin yet,” Dylan said. “That’s awesome.”

“Glad you like it,” Jack answered.

“Right dudes,” Riptide said. “Dream and I talked it out and we think Oro’s character should go first.”

“Really?” Oro asked. “You sure?”

“Yeah, dude!” Riptide said. “We’ve done a bunch of stuff with Dr. Zlo already, so it makes sense for you to get to do your thing.”

“What’s your character agian by the way?” Dylan asked. “It’s been a bit since you played it.”

“I went with another simple character,” the man answered. “Rough is a man with mutant rock powers. I can eat earthen materials and gain power form it. I can also materials into armor, the denser the better.”

“Well, that gives us a simple plan,” Dylan said. “It’s easy enough to have you steal from some state-of-the-art facility for the newest dense metal.”

“Dude! We can get you some Osmium. I read that it’s some of the densest stuff out there!” Riptide said.

“I don’t mind,” Oro said. “I hadn’t put too much thought into this character other than that I needed to be the tank. That’s normally the role I take with everyone else.”

“Do you like doing it?” Sweet Dream asked.

Oro shrugged. “It’s alright. Interesting enough and it’s fun to laugh at people who can’t hurt me.”

“Ooh, you’ve got a sadistic streak,” Jack said with a smirk.

“I mean, he did tie himself up at one point, so maybe not,” Dylan joked.

Oro laughed. “Come on now don’t pin this on me. You were totally into at the time.”

“Well I couldn’t help it,” Dylan said. “If a hero is tied up and Dr. Zlo is in the vicinity. He has to monologue.”

“Dude!” Riptide exclaimed. “Are you another super nerd?”

“I mean I enjoy it as much as the next guy,” Oro said. “They’re a fun time when you want to turn your brain off. I love the ones that make you think though.”

“Before we get any more off topic,” Sweet Dream said. “Oro, do you want to stay as this character? We don’t mind if you make something else you haven’t tried before.”

“I’m good guys,” Oro said. “I don’t have another villain idea in mind. Besides, I’m more about the experience. It was why we went through all the quests in the beginning. There’s a ton of story in each city, and some span multiple cities. Sure some are bad, but others knock it outta the park.”

“Well, if you’re fine with it, we’re fine with it,” Jack said. “Now, what kind of crime should we commit?”

“I’m all for the, rob the high tech facility, one,” Oro said.

“I don’t know. It’s a bit too mundane for someone who’d hang with Dr. Zlo,” Dylan said.

“What if we stole a meteorite or something?” Sweet Dream offered. “Play into the whole, star metal is somehow this mystical metal of power, trope.”

“I think that would depend on the meteorite,” Jack answered. “Any old one won’t do.”

“We could also search for metals that are only found in superhero stories,” Oro commented. “Like adamantium and such.”

“Dudes, let’s obtain some unobtanium,” Riptide laughed.

Dylan chuckled. An idea struck him. “Wait, since Dr. Zlo has to be the smartest guy in the room, how about we steal materials so he can make a new metal for Rough? We could steal the mystical star metals, adamantium, and all sorts of things.”

“That sounds like a bigger thing than a simple crime,” Oro said. “I don’t want to take up all that time. Let’s do something we can finish before the morning.”

“Fair enough,” Dylan said. He filed the impossible metal away for later.

“You know, we should ask Dextra,” Jack said. “I’m sure they’ll have a good suggestion, considering they know everything.”

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