When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

“Young Miss!” her maid said as she returned. “Your maternal uncle is here!”

I stopped my lecture. Apparently, the lesson on the Dao of Rock that I was in the middle of imparting had ended.

Dread Lotus smiled weakly. “Let him in.”

A familiar Nascent Soul cultivator entered the room.

His mere presence gave me the urge to jump out of my seat and point at him in shock.

That motherfucker, Noxious Fangstrike, clasped his hands behind his back and strode up to Dread Lotus with an arrogant look on his face. Shockingly, he smiled gently down at his niece.

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If I had known he was her uncle, I... would still have helped her. But I definitely would have left before he visited.

A vein bulged on his forehead but he calmly said, “My only niece, who never asks me for anything, requested this. How could I not bring these ridiculously overpriced herbs?”

She beamed up at him and held out her hand.

He placed a spatial ring on her pale palm, which she immediately tossed to me.

“Junior Linlin. Please do what you have to while I speak with my uncle.”

Thank fuck, she was giving me an excuse to leave. Being near an absolute asshole like him while also being unable to kick his ass wasn’t good for my spite-filled heart. Unfortunately, as I walked through the door, I heard her ask, “How was your trip to the Alchemy Convention?”

It was a question that made me realize I needed to do what I came to this sect to do, spy.

Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to create any of the recording devices yet and this sounded like a conversation I had to listen in on. That left risking exposure by using my divine sense. While it was unlikely that he’d find me since my soul was two realms higher than his, being discovered was still a possibility.

I stepped out of the room, leaving a strand of my divine sense inside.

“It was too short,” he said. “I had planned to spend the first day messing with those orthodox cultivators who keep lying about our sect. Then I would have spent the rest of my time there searching for clues about your condition and our sect’s cultivation issues. Unfortunately, the convention ended before it could get started. The entire trip was a disgustingly wasteful expense for our sect.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, uncle. Did you at least have some fun?”

“Well, I did get to mess with the orthodox faction. There was this arrogant little brat from the Indomitable Will Sect who had a superpowered cleaning technique. One she used on me!“

Dread Lotus gasped. “Oh no, uncle. Knowing your condition, that must have hurt a lot.”

“You wouldn’t believe how terrible it was. It felt like three billion needles stabbed into my skin!”

Damn, if I’d known that, I would have hit him with my cleaning technique a few more times.

“Oh, no… that poor little girl.”

“Hey! I was the one who was in pain.”

“You think I’d believe you didn’t take revenge on her for hurting you?”

Dread Lotus kept showing me how smart she was.

“Of course I did, but I played it off as if I was being an unreasonable bully after my juniors almost gave away my secret while we messed with that child.” He chuckled. “It was very amusing to see that orthodox brat glare at me.”

“Oh no. What did you do?”

He huffed. “It wasn’t anything much.”

“Uncle…” she warned.

He sighed. “I ran into this woman, Violet Pill Fairy, during a debate between little kids. She’d overheard me earlier in the day asking a vendor about your condition and mentioned that she could provide a clue and cure... as long as I promised to help her win.”

Oh, shit! That was why he joined the debate as a judge? I’d just assumed he’d taken pettiness to a new height. Apparently, the man was good at keeping his true motives close to his chest and presenting truths as falsehoods.

“That deceitful orthodox cultivator went back on her word after the debate ended!”

“You didn’t let her go, did you?”

“I wouldn’t have, but she was there with a Pill Saint. That was one of the reasons I thought she could actually help.”

“Oh.”

“That Violet Pill Fairy had one extreme grudge against those kids, though.”

“Why? What did she do?”

“She kicked that orthodox girl and her martial brother into our teleportation platform. I’m certain she made a deal with our hired formation master somehow, since I didn’t have time to stop him before he activated it.”

“Uncle… I haven’t heard gossip about you bringing back any extra people. You didn’t… kill those children, did you?”

“Little Dread Lotus!” He sounded shocked. “You think your uncle would murder some poor brats who’d been thrown halfway around the world?”

“Maybe.”

“Dread Lotus!”

“If they tried to kill you or harm the sect, you definitely would have… but other than that, I doubt it.”

I heard the pull of silk and assumed he straightened his clothes. “That’s right! Have more faith in your uncle.”

Of course he wouldn’t kill us himself. Since this was a Xianxia universe, dealing with little Foundation Establishment cultivators would be beneath him. He’d probably send some Golden Core juniors to do hid dirty work instead.

“Then what did you do with those poor kids?”

“Well… I tried to capture them with my Spiritual Grasp technique since they would have made great hostages. However, they used some kind of teleportation item to escape.”

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

The space’s upgrades had really benefited us in that situation.

“Well, you did bully those kids unreasonably.”

He did! Fucking asshole. Well done calling him out on his bullshit. Dread Lotus was proving that she was absolutely the princess of the sect. More so than Little Teasing Mouse.

“They were definitely terrified of you,” she said.

“Little Dread Lotus! Aren’t you supposed to take your uncle’s side? I even brought you so many rare, overpriced ingredients.”

“Uncle, you should find those kids before they get themselves into trouble. Maybe we can make a deal with the Indomitable Will Sect for protection by their allies over here in exchange for their safe return.”

“We could do that, though we’d have to send them by immortal boat since our sect can’t afford to teleport anyone that far. We need all the help we can gather to protect ourselves from the Harmonious Sound and Leashed Claws sects.”

Sadly, even by immortal boat, it would take us well over a decade to return home. During that time, there would be no guarantee that we wouldn’t get murdered by some wandering Immortal Ascension stage monster. I’d much rather gather proof about the sect’s secret dealings with demonic cultivators — if there were any — and negotiate with the city lord for immediate teleportation.

Once I reached the garden, I split my mind in two. One part concentrated on the conversation in the other room, while the other focused on prep work.

I took out a sanitized table from the space. As I took out each new ingredient, I decided that I’d be content with costing that asshole a sizable chunk of his savings.

The first pill, the Superior Cleansing Five Transformations Dan, was actually closer to permanent gene therapy. It would activate Dread Lotus’ constitution and bring out her hidden potential, upgrading it into Superior Songs Body.

“So, can you tell me why you need all those ingredients?” Noxious asked. Which brought the conversation from the other room back into my focus.

“Not just yet.”

She wouldn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, in case this didn’t work. And I didn’t want that asshole to get too curious about what I was doing.

“Fine, then I’ll guess for myself. That girl you handed them to promised to cure you in exchange for them.”

“Uncle...” she warned.

“I hope she knows that if she makes anything that harms you, the whole sect will come together to torture her for a hundred years.”

Her sigh echoed through the room. “There are some things that are so obvious they don’t need to be said.”

“I should go watch her to make sure she doesn’t do anything suspicious.”

“Please don’t. Fairy Linlin has already helped me a lot. If you pressure her, she might mess up and waste expensive ingredients.

As if I would.

“Then you’ll have to buy me more.”

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that she was tempting me to fail.

Whatever. If he showed up, I’d kick him out. The last thing I needed was to have that Nascent Soul asshole breathing down my neck. Besides, if he was skilled enough, he might connect my movements to my actual appearance so I couldn’t have him watching me.

Once they started talking about inconsequential news going around the sect, I focused most of my attention on my pill concocting.

I had four pill types I needed to create. The first was the Superior Cleansing Five Transformations Dan. Next, I would create a special pill designed to solve the residual physical effects of forbidden techniques, since normal healing pills did shit for that. After those, I would throw together an extra-spicy body cultivation bath bomb — the same one I used to help me pass the Indomitable Will Sect’s entrance trial.

The last pill on the list was Lin’s Advanced Healing Dan. These were perfect for Golden Core cultivators, but they were so effective that they could literally bring a Foundation Establishment cultivator back from the brink of death to be fully healed.

***

It took me three hours to concoct everything I needed. Fortunately, by that time, Dread Lotus’ noxious uncle had long left.

Her eyes sparkled with hope when I entered her room. “Is it done?”

I clasped my hands behind my back. “Are you ready to feel the best you have in years?”

“I was ready three hours ago. I even had a nap.”

“Good, you’ll need energy for this. Unfortunately, it will not be painless. In fact, I’ve heard that it feels like something gnawing on your organs.”

She scoffed. “I can handle some pain. Don’t look down on me.”

Well, she had been through a lot.

I first handed her the special pill that helped clear away the effects of forbidden techniques.

“What’s this?”

Something that the cultivators of this era would kill to possess. “Just take it. It will increase your strength and help you survive.” Which wasn’t a lie.

She took it and closed her eyes.

I called her maid over. “Help your Young Miss strip down to her Doudou.”

The maid looked to Dread Lotus.

“Do whatever my junior sister asks, Xiao Fan.”

On a side table, I set up a gourd filled with watered down spiritual spring water, a teacup and my sanitized acupuncture needles.

While her maid helped her get undressed, Dread Lotus glanced over at my table. “Are you really going to need all that?”

“One effect of this next pill is to expel impurities from your body. This will initially cause the buildup in your acupoints to get worse. You’re in such poor condition that if I don’t clear them out manually, this pill might kill you. I’m setting things up to keep you alive.”

She pursed her lips. “You’re making it sound so easy to bring someone back from the brink of death.”

“Tell you what, if I mess up so badly that you die, I’ll pull your ass back from hell myself.”

Besides, what was a good Xianxia without a visit to the local underworld? I hadn’t actually been there myself, but I’d heard some terrible things.

“Confident, are you?” Dread Lotus taunted as Xiao Fan finished undressing her.

“More confident than you are scared.”

She suddenly grabbed my sleeve. Her knuckles turned white. Her eyes seriously stared into mine. “You get me through this alive. You make me healthy, and I’ll be your friend for life.”

As a foreigner to this universe, I rarely made friends. The few of them who were women were old crones or bulky body cultivators, since the cute young girls always fell for Bloodsword and his protagonist halo. Or they tried to use me to get close to that fucker. Inevitably, when I didn’t help them get close to him — obviously for their own good — it would lead to them resenting me and us falling out.

But this life was different. Maybe, if her sect wasn’t in league with the demonic assholes, I could look forward to a long and real friendship. Though it certainly wouldn’t hurt to be friends with someone I was very much looking forward to rocking out with.

Even if it only lasted for half a month.

I gently squeezed her shoulder. “If you can get through this and the body cultivation bath and still want to be my friend, I’ll gladly accept your friendship.”

Her eyes filled with determination. “Just watch me.”

I handed Dread Lotus the Superior Cleansing Five Transformations Dan, and a teacup filled with spiritual spring water.

While staring into my eyes, she put the pill in the water and swallowed both at once.

“Quickly, help your young miss onto her stomach.”

The maid immediately did as I asked.

I rested my hands on Dread Lotus’s back and helped her guide the pill’s energy along the correct pathways to transform her special constitution.

At one point, as I knew it would, the energy stopped moving. It had reached a newly developed blockage. I quickly dipped a needle into the gourd of spiritual spring water and jabbed it into her acupoint. The effects of the water cleared the meridian, allowing the energy to continue down the correct path.

Dread Lotus let out a pain-filled groan.

“You’re doing perfect,” I encouraged.

“This hurts worse than you said it would!”

“I’ve experienced worse pain, but I’m still alive.”

“That’s the problem.”

“You sound like you want me dead.”

“Relax. I’m just teasing.”

“Focus, or you might die.” I jabbed another acupoint near a blocked meridian.

“Ow! I hate you,” she said, but shut up.

She was still a little liar.

“Do me a favor. Don’t tell your uncles about this.”

“Who would? They’d definitely murder you.”

We ran into a few more blockages that I easily solved… until we reached her heart. We needed to pass energy through it to facilitate the upgrade of her constitution. But, unexpectedly, it was blocked. No wonder she looked like she was going to die at any moment. I gritted my teeth, pulled out my largest needle from the spiritual water bath and stabbed it in between her third and fourth ribs directly into her heart, causing her to slump and pass out.

Xiao Fan gasped and pointed at me. “Oh, my god! You killed Dread Lotus… you... you bitch!”

Just because we were in South Peak didn’t mean... Whatever, I had no time for jokes!

While simultaneously using my divine sense to force her heart to keep beating, I grabbed a Lin’s Healing Dan, twisted her head around, and shoved the pill into her mouth.

As I took out the needle, it pulled out a line of black turbid impurities. They stank up the room and stained her Doudou. Before she could start bleeding out, I forced the healing energy to fix her heart wound.

She sucked in a deep breath and opened her eyes which glared directly at me. “A warning would have been nice!”

“No time for warnings. Just trust the process!” Muahahaha!

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