Vaudevillain

“Alright, how’re we looking?” Jack asked her boyfriend.

They were in Dr. Zlo’s laboratory again, away from the other minions. Jack was using the Ms. Tama persona, while Dylan was of course in his titular character.

“The machines are ready,” Dylan said. “I’ve reinforced each one the best I can with my upgrade power, but it still might not be enough. Not with how hard some powers can hit.”

“I’ve got an idea for some of that,” Jack said.

“Oh do tell?” Dylan asked.

Jack sidled over. “I’m thinking we get other villains to use their powers on the machines as well. For example, Ms. Tama could do wonders with the machine. Imagine a morality machine that can act on its own.”

Dylan grinned devilishly. “I like that.”

“Knew you would,” Jack said. She grabbed his free hand. “So, you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Dylan said. “Oro and I did our best to make Dr. Dobro and Dr. Zlo have similar strengths.”

“That would be spoilers,” Dylan answered.

“No fun.” Jack flopped onto her boyfriend, her character’s arms hanging awkwardly over Dr. Zlo’s shoulders.

“I should have made her a bit taller,” she mused. “You do not make a comfortable thing to lean on.”

“Dr. Zlo is not built for comfort,” Dylan quipped. “He is spite and villainy stuffed in a bony package.”

“Too true,” Jack said, her voice vibrating up Dylan’s back.

An alarm on the villains’ HUD pinged.

“Looks like we should get going,” Dylan said.

“Roger Dodger,” Jack answered.

Riptide and Sweet Dream, Liam and Caroline to each other, relaxed in the tall central skyscraper of Skyline as their friends continued to get ready. Thomas, Shizuka—who Caroline recently learned was named Carol—and CEOverlord—named Tanner—went about their final checks. Oro, Rampart, Merla, and their last friend who Caroline couldn’t remember the name of were over at the alternate reality Skyline making the same checks.

“Dude, I cannot wait,” Riptide said. He looked down to the street below. “Just look at everyone gathering! This is going to be huge!”

“Tell me about it,” Sweet Dream answered. “I hope we can cover all this.”

“Eh, we’ve got it covered,” Riptide said.

“Okay, everything here is good,” Thomas said. “Everyone ready to get in positions?”

“Totally!” Riptide cheered. He jumped, pulling his board out of his inventory to surf over. “Just point me in the right direction.”

“You stay here, remember?” Sweet Dream chided. “CEOverlord’s the one who needs to get going.”

“Yeah, oh god. This is actually happening,” he said. His face almost looked green from nervousness.

Riptide clapped him on the back. “No sweat, dude! You’re going to rock this!”

Tanner nodded, then made his way over to the special teleporter and vanished.

“I let the volunteers know to start,” Thomas said. “All we need now is Dr. Zlo.”

“Ask and ye shall receive!” their villainous counterpart said upon walking into the room.

The Professor, mastermind of the Underdwellers, waited in line with his team as the event volunteers called for order.

“Finally,” Bubble said. “I thought this was going to take forever.”

“Hello all!” one of the volunteers shouted. “If I could have everyone acting as a hero move to form a line on my left! Thank you!” they raised their left hand to signal. Piles of players stepped over, leaving the villains by their lonesome until the volunteer had them form a line opposite.

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Things moved swiftly then, excitement building between the four friends as the line moved forward. Eventually, a volunteer walked by them to ask a few questions.

“Have you participated in an event before?” she asked.

“The four of us together, yeah,” Bubble answered before anyone else.

The volunteer nodded. “And would you prefer to stay as a group?”

“If at all possible,” The Professor answered.

She nodded again, printing off four slips to hand to each of them. “Hand these to the person up front and they’ll get you sorted.”

Eventually, they arrived at the front of the line, where a burly volunteer waited next to a bin filled with slips of paper. The Professor handed his off with everyone else.

“Right, you’re going to follow the left hand signs,” the volunteer said. “That’ll take you to a teleporter. Don’t worry about activating it, someone else will start it up when enough people arrive.”

“Thank you,” The Professor answered.

“A lot of prep work for this one,” Bubble commented.

“Yeah,” Chemster said. “But I would expect it to be with everything that got announced.”

“Indeed,” The Professor answered. “Parallel worlds, good counterparts of villains, I almost hope we each get to face against a mirror.”

“Doubt it,” Victoria answered. “I can’t imagine how much work that would take.”

“Well, it’s a fun hope,” he answered.

They reached the teleporter, waited only a few more minutes for more players to arrive, then promptly found the world shifting before their eyes. Although, it was still a familiar area.

“We’re still on Skyline,” Bubble commented, slightly disappointed.

“Yes, but on the underside,” The Professor said. “Look ‘up.’”

Above them sat a pristine city of glass and greenery. Winding skyscrapers built with living trees shaped like solid pillars held together a mix of clear glass panes and what looked to be solar panels. The roofs were covered in wildflowers, grasses, and the occasional garden. Train lines ran in lazy loops around it all, ferrying people with a casual efficiency one could only find in a utopia.

“Who turned on the solarpunk?” Victoria asked, a bit stunned at the scene.

“No kidding,” Bubble answered.

More players gathered as they stared, many looking up once they spied the others doing the same. Then, a voice bounced over their heads.

“Hello, hello! Welcome my minions!”

Everyone turned toward the voice to see a woman in dark ninja fatigues lounging at the teleporter, her body flopped over the controls as if it were a couch. Two others in the same garb stood beside her, one fanning with a green leaf while the other plucked from a bunch of deeply purple grapes.

“I am your illustrious leader for today!” she said, swinging herself around after everyone turned toward her. The two others vanished in puffs of smoke, leaving only the items they carried behind.

“Glad to have everyone’s attention!” she continued. “First things first! How many of you could survive a fall from here to the city below?”

The crowd looked between themselves, confused.

“Raise your hands guys,” Bubble said. “Victoria could easily get us down safely.”

“True,” the shapeshifting woman said.

“Great!” Shizuka answered once all the hands were up. “I’m gonna need you all to slide to the left then, alright? Those of you who can’t! Slide to the right then criss cross!”

Everyone split into two groups, neither overtly performing Shizuka’s dancing instructions.

“Wow, seems I got some boring people,” she sighed. “Oh well. I’ll make my own fun! Now, let me direct you all to this!”

She thrust a hand upward, revealing a flickering screen forming in the air. The excitement grew as a figure stood in shadow.

“I must admit, it took me some time to find your fair city,” said the malevolent voice of Dr. Zlo. “Though, I should expect such from my alternate ego.”

The villain stepped out of the shadows, sauntering over to a cylindrical machine. The Professor glanced to the side, noticing two similar inventions waiting behind Shizuka.

“Usually,” the villain continued. “I would have rushed at the chance, jumped at the opportunity to bombard your grand vision from afar. However!”

Dr. Zlo spun, pointing his cane down at the city with a sneer on his face. “A simple bombardment is too good for the likes of you! No, a mere erasure of this place is not enough to quell the anger. Nay! The fury! I hold at the sight of my alternate ego acting as a hero!”

Somehow, Dr. Zlo made the word sound like a curse. For a moment, unbridled fury sat on the villain’s gaunt face, making him look particularly demonic. Then, it gave way to the most shoulder-shuddering smile that seemed too wide and too narrow.

“Then, I had an idea. Yes…” he chuckled menacingly. “A wonderful, diabolical, idea.”

The villain tapped the machine with his cane. “This! My dear counterpart, is my newest, and grandest invention to date! I’ve named it, the Morality Modifier!”

Dr. Zlo leaned forward, as if to address a crowd before him. “But what does it do? You ask? Why, I would have assumed an alter ego of myself would have figured it out by now? Well, an alter ego still isn’t me.”

At that, Dr. Zlo pulled back and pointed his cane off screen. “Perhaps then, a demonstration! Cass, bring him forward!”

The Professor raised an eyebrow as an obviously heroic figure was brought into view chained against what looked to be an operating table. The Jacques pushed the table along, upending it into the machine after Dr. Zlo pressed a button to open it up. The hero struggled against their bonds, but had no strength to break free as the door closed.

“Now, behold!” The villain exclaimed.

A countdown appeared on the face of the Morality Modifier, leaving everyone to wait somewhat awkwardly as the numbers ticked. A Jacques mimed something.

“No, I can’t speed it up!” Dr. Zlo answered. “Genius takes time, you sorry excuse for a minion!”

The Jacques recoiled as if struck by a bullet. It clutched its heart and fell into the others waiting arms. The two Jacques continued to act as if they were star-crossed lovers, one of them slowly passing into the sweet release of death.

Dr. Zlo rolled his eyes.

The machine pinged, opening up to reveal the hero.

“Now, witness my majesty!” Dr. Zlo cackled. He unshackled the hero, then pointed his cane.

“You there, what do you think about stopping crime, helping old ladies across the street, and saving cats from trees?”

“I hate everything about that sentence,” the hero said.

Dr. Zlo’s laugh was as evil as taking candy from a baby. “There, you see! The Morality Modifier has transformed him from a do-gooding hero into someone much more reasonable, a nefarious villain! Now, watch as I do the same to all your friends!”

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