Vaudevillain

“So, what’s our first mission?” Sweet Dream asked.

“Should we do some backstory for our group or something?” Dylan offered.

“Eh,” Oro said. “I don’t think we have to think about it that hard. This is more for fun, right? Let’s just pick a Dr. Zlo quest and try it out.”

“I’m game,” Dylan said.

Riptide pumped a fist. “Yeah, let’s do it dudes! Time to beat up that villainous Dr. Zlo!”

Dylan chuckled. “So which city should we go to?”

“The Paris knockoff,” Jack said. “Let’s watch Dr. Zlo steal the Eiffel tower.”

“Easy enough,” Oro said. “The guild has a teleporter service that anyone can use. Might take a bit of waiting though because of all the players that use it.”

Jack bumped Dylan. “We can wait around and create backstories then.”

“Let me guess,” Sweet Dream said with a smile. “You’re a mutant.”

“Wrong!” Riptide laughed. “Touched a radioactive match and now I’ve got its powers.”

Sweet Dream scoffed. “I’m not wrong! Radioactivity mutates you, hence mutant.”

“Nope,” Riptide teased. “Completely wrong.”

Dylan looked to his other friends as Sweet Dream and Riptide fell into a familiar pattern. Riptide would tease his girlfriend while she pouted, which only made him want to tease her more. Dylan was pretty sure it was on purpose at this point. Sweet Dream would have caught onto Riptide’s obvious ribbing by now.

Dylan, Oro, and Jack made their way toward the heroes guild, ignoring their friends’ flirting but making sure they followed. They walked through the front doors of the guild and Dylan, for a moment, got the itch to deface the property. But he wasn’t a villain at the moment, and there was no way Approximo would intentionally ruin the guild’s aesthetic.

Even if that aesthetic was a drab white and gold.

That was the thing about heroes headquarters, Dylan thought. They had to be symbols of peace and security for the populace, which always seemed to lead to the same color palette. Whites, golds, and silvers were the standout colors, with bronze showing up every once and a while. If the headquarters was in the city, it was often a skyscraper or a stadium-like building. Of course, if it was in the country, the headquarters would be an old mansion of some kind. That was the only time the color scheme really changed, more brick reds and ivy green.

It got Dylan thinking about the headquarters his super team would have. He’d want something that incorporated each of his friend’s themes. Something like a school campus might work best. There could be a sporting ground for Jack, a art installation of mirrors for Sweet Dream, a snazzy building for Oro, and Dylan could make a science building for his character. The only one who didn’t quite fit was Riptide. There could be another art installation, but Dylan didn’t want to overlap with Sweet Dream.

He kept thinking about the idea as they walked from room to room in the heroes guild. The team passed multiple NPC tutorial heroes, many of which reached out to the passing players to help guide them. Only those truly new to the game paid them any mind, and even then it seemed most people were crowding around certain characters.

“I read this one gives you the best starting gear,” Dylan overheard.

“Only if you’re going for a martial build,” came the reply.

Dylan raised an eyebrow, but put the talk out of his mind when they came to the teleporter room. It was similar to the one in Skyline, a grand atrium filled with various circles. The main difference was a ticket line at the door. Players would take a ticket and watch a screen for their number.

“Oh god, it’s like the DMV,” Dylan said.

“It moves a lot quicker than that,” Oro replied.

The hero moved up to grab their ticket. Sweet Dream and Riptide had stopped their bickering and were now trying to out compliment the other’s character. Jack rolled her eyes at them when Dylan looked over to her.

Once Oro came back with their ticket, everyone moved to the side to wait for their number.

“So, already got ideas?” Jack asked when everyone settled.

“Hm?” Dylan said.

“For your backstory.”

“Oh, yeah,” Dylan answered. “I figured Approximo is an alien sent on a cultural exchange of some kind. Debating on if he got the wrong planet, but I’m sure I want him to completely mistranslate idioms.”

“Got any good ones already?” Oro asked.

“Some,” Dylan answered. “You know the whole, sir is my father, call me blank? Approximo thinks that sir literally means father.”

Jack giggled. “That’s terrible.”

“I’ve got more,” Dylan said. “Another I want to do is the dime a dozen one.”

“How would you do that?” Oro asked.

“If I get a dime in change I’ll argue that I should have twelve,” Dylan said.

“No, that’s so dumb,” Jack laughed.

“Dumb is the best part,” Dylan laughed back. “I can’t wait to mistranslate raining cats and dogs.”

Oro snorted. “Now I’m wondering if we shouldn’t have picked powers based on idioms.”

“I’m perfectly content with my power,” Jack said. “It turns out sport is a very broad category. I’m pretty sure I can ride a horse now.”

“Do you not have a limit on it?” Oro asked.

Jack shook her head. “I don’t think the game thinks sports are dangerous enough to limit.”

Oro’s eyes twinkled mischeviously. “It looks like you’ll be our jack of all trades then.”

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Jack said. “Did you come up with a backstory for your character then?”

“I’m thinking mafia goon turned hero,” Oro said. “Got my powers in a freak chemical accident or something. Went villain for a bit but got reformed by a hero.”

“Oh, dude!” Riptide cut in. “It should be me that did it. Wouldn’t that be great? This punk rocker turns a mafia goon to a life of heroism.”

“It’s interesting, at least,” Oro said.

“Yeah, I haven’t read about that happening before,” Dylan said. “Though a punk superhero is pretty rare.”

“Yeah punk is all about taking on the man,” Jack said. “And superheroes are totally the man.”

“Right on,” Sweet Dream said.

“Dude, that should be how we meet up!” Riptide said. “Activism and all that.”

“Doesn’t quite fit my character,” Dylan said.

“It does if you misinterpreted a protest or something,” Jack said.

Dylan nodded. “Yeah, that could work. What kind of protest?”

“Oh let’s make it some kind of anti-mutant thing,” Oro said. “Like we were in Mutatholis going against the anti-mutant movement or something.”

“I could get behind that,” Sweet Dream said. “I can make my character a recent mutant that got kicked out of an anti-mutant house or something.”

“And I could be some sports prodigy that tested positive for the mutant gene,” Jack said.

“And Oro and I were in the city because we were about to play a gig!” Riptide said.

Oro shook his head. “Nope, Of a Kind would not be in a band.”

“Yeah, but I bet you’d be the manager, dude,” Riptide said. “You can book us the venues while Firestarter plays the music.”

“We should all be a part of the band,” Sweet Dream said. “I’ll play bass or something.”

“I could do drums,” Jack said. “I’m pretty sure music competitions count as a sport.”

“I don’t think Approximo would play an instrument,” Dylan said. “But he could easily be the sound guy. He’s probably familiar with technology enough for it.”

“You could drive the van, too,” Oro said.

“Heck, with my power I could probably be the van,” Dylan joked.

“Dudes this is awesome!” Riptide said. “Punk rock band by day and heroes by night!”

Everyone congratulated themselves on their collaborative backstory and continued small talk until the television flashed their ticket number.

“Looks like our numbers up,” Oro said.

“Time to rock the world!” Riptide cheered.

Dylan laughed as they took the teleporter.

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