Vaudevillain

VV4, 32 - Piazza Pilfering

The second Piazza on their way to the coliseum had fountains. Fountains and statues. Fountains and statues and a crowd of people corralled together by CEOverlord’s minions.

A few of the NPCs were trying to break free from the encirclement but it was easy to see how impossible that task would be. The minions stood closer than spandex on a superhero and only the combined might of a few heroes would break through. Unfortunately for the NPCs, none of them were heroes. Fortunately for them, however, Dylan and his team were arriving with the chaos.

“Bring me back!” Gio shouted in Approximo’s arms. “Who knows what’s happening to my store!”

“Your store is not as important as your life!” the hero answered. “I am removing you from the danger as best I can!”

“Who gave you the right!” Gio complained.

“The villain behind us trying to take you to his boss!” Approximo explained for the fifth time.

Dylan had triggered something of a loop during his flight from the villain Turvy. Gio would yell to return, Approximo would answer with his longsuffering nature, which would eventually lead back to Gio shouting to be returned.

Despite all the shouting, no one stopped Approximo during his escape, which Dylan felt shouldn’t happen. He was practically kidnapping this man after all. There should at least be some random hero stopping him.

Though, Aeterna seemed rather determined to break the usual superhero conventions. Turvy was not dressed in any usual villain cowl but in a boring business suit. The bland look saddened Dylan, he liked it when heroes and villains were colorful and fun!

He got his wish on entering the Piazza.

OroJackson:

We trigger this event by dumping a bunch of cash in the fountain.

Superfan39526:

You sure?

OroJackson:

Yeah, when there’s a certain amount inside a bunch of robbers show up.

Superfan39526:

Cool.

OroJackson:

Just make sure you have enough. Should only be a few hundred.

Dylan checked his money.

Superfan39526:

Yeah I’ve got enough.

OroJackson:

Then dump that sh*t!

Dylan laughed at his friend’s message before opening his inventory and releasing all his cash into the fountain. He wasn’t too worried about money as a hero, and Approximo’s alien background would likely mean he didn’t carry much of anything in the first place.

Paper dollars fell into the fountain, transforming into coins as they hit the water. Soon the pile was peeking over the surface of the water, announcing its riches to everyone around.

Well, it would be if they weren’t all rounded up by CEOverlord’s minions. Dylan pushed a few of the minions back as he waited, his shapeshifting giving him enough power to overturn any squad that came his way. Not many did, the group seemingly preoccupied with the crowd of NPCs.

As he fought, one of the statues started to move, a cherubic angel by the look of it. Dylan looked at it in curiosity, wondering if this was part of the event or not. It seemed to be, as it moved forward and started inhaling the piles of coins. It’s stomach expanded as the coins entered, making the statue look very much like a marble.

Turvy, Of a Kind, and Gameset all rounded the corner as Approximo unleashed a concrete fist on another minion. The villain was fighting tooth and nail with Approximo’s two teammates. Somehow, Gameset had outpaced the villain despite his earlier lead. Dylan saw how as Turvy came closer.

Gameset seemed to have a supernatural ability to detect when Turvy would use his power. If she flipped around, Gameset instantly pivoted to continue running ahead. If he flipped her upside down, she performed a handspring to get back on her feet. No matter what the villain did it seemed as if she had a counter.

She waved to Approximo when she got close. “How’s it going?”

“I have been running and attempting to calm Mr. Gio down,” Approximo answered.

“Take me back!” Gio shouted.

“I have explained this a number of times,” Approximo answered.

“Heads up!” Gameset shouted. She dove, her body flipping orientation once more before she righted herself. “Man, he does not give up on that. You think he would learn his lesson.”

“I think it’s because you taunted him!” Of a Kind shouted.

“I did no such thing!”

The hero scoffed. “Right. All those, ‘Oh you almost had me there!’ and ‘Close one!’ weren’t anything like taunting at all.”

“Okay, maybe there was a bit of taunting,” Gameset admitted.

“So, where is our next group?” Approximo asked.

“They should be along any second,” Of a Kind answered.

Sure enough, the side of the Piazza burst open, revealing a series of men in pinstripe suits. The man at the lead had a large square forehead that had obviously been used to headbutt the wall into submission.

“Alright, boys,” the man said. “Time for us to collect this month’s protection fee.”

Suddenly the NPCs were no longer concerned with CEOverlord’s minions.

“Oh, no! It’s the Brickhead family! They’re here to steal all our wishing money from the fountains!”

“That’s right!” the square-headed man said.

“And that’s Brickhead himself!” One of the NPCs wailed.

“Let’s all make this nice and easy,” Brickhead said. “Stay back and no one gets hurt.”

“Halt, villain!” Approximo shouted. “What right do you have to rob these people of their wishing money!”

Brickhead turned to address Approximo for the first time. “You see, it’s like this. They wish to stay safe so I take their money make it happen. Not my fault if they make the wrong wish.”

The villain shrugged in a ‘what can you do?’ way.

Approximo stepped forward, Gio still yelling next to him. “I will not let you rob these people! Surrender!”

“Yeah, no. Get him, boys,” Brickhead said.

The family members moved forward, pulling out bricks tied to chains and other similar weapons. But before they could get close enough a laughing noise echoed through the Piazza.

“Ohon! Ohon! I see ‘ere a mix of treasure for moi?” said someone in heavily, badly accented French.

A man in a leopard print outfit leaped across the rooftops nearby, landing with grace in the center of the mix. With a flurry of kicks, he struck down multiple Brickhead family members before turning to the leader. “Ah, mon ami! We meet again!”

“Latroc the Leaperd!” Brickhead shouted.

“Leaperd?” Dylan heard Jack mumble.

“Play on leopard, I bet,” Dylan said. “But hold up I want to see where this goes.”

“Then I’ll just be over by the fat baby,” Jack said. “When the quest appears I’ll nab the statue.”

Dylan nodded and turned his attention back to the conversation.

“You trying to muscle in on my turf?” Brickhead asked the new arrival.

Latroc shook a finger. “Non, non! I am ‘ere to, ‘ow you say, become the Robin ‘ood! But in this case, I think you’ll find the poor one is myself!”

The villain gave a hearty laugh. Brickhead growled.

“You ain’t gonna steal what I’m already stealing.”

“No, because that is what I will be doing!”

Dylan turned in excitement to see another villain rappel from a nearby roof. He wore an all black jumpsuit that only showed his eyes. He flipped toward the other two with acrobatic precision, a knife in his hands. He swung it toward the villains, the other two in matching it in turn with a hard foot and harder head.

“Ah, Diabo!” Latroc said. “’Ow good it is to see you! But what’s this about stealing my treasure?”

“It isn’t yours until you’ve claimed it,” Diabo answered.

Dylan knew he had to join in. “It isn’t any of yours! The money is for the wishes of the people! Which I am sure are very important if they leave their money lying in water like that!”

“Ah, you wish to stop us, hmm?” Latroc mused.

“I believe he does,” Diabo said.

“Ha, he ain’t strong enough for that,” Brickhead said. “I’ll crush him in one headbutt!”

It was at this point the quest prompt appeared.

Repel the thieves intent on robbing Aeterna?

Y/N

Dylan instantly pressed yes. “I do not have to beat you! Gameset!”

“You got it!” she answered. With a flourish, she grabbed the rounded Cherub and stashed it in her inventory. “See ya later, guys!”

“Sacre bleu!” Latroc shouted.

“That’s mine, that is!” Brickhead roared. “Get back here!”

And that was when Turvy decided to reappear, the game’s scripted content no longer locking him out. He stepped in the middle of the three villains, eyes focused on Approximo.

“Oh, I believe we should be running again!” the hero said.

“No kidding!” Of a Kind laughed. “Next stop, the final Piazza!”

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