Vaudevillain

"Haha! I knew it!" Dr. Zlo said mockingly. "My invention couldn't be wrong!"

"But boss, the tracker was pointing here until a bit ago," Cass pointed out.

Dr. Zlo chose to ignore those words.

"I don’t understand," Dextra said. "Everything pointed to this man. I even verified it with the elves upstairs."

"Well y'all, I think we can get a suitable answer," Mabel said. She turned to the brightly dressed man. "Now, how is it you fooled two of the brightest minds in the world?"

The Santa laughed. "You think you're the first villain to try and take Christmas? The first with the genius to track him down?"

Both villains nodded.

"Typical," the Santa answered. "No. You aren't the first. Not even Krampus was the first. The idea of Santa Claus is older than even the oldest magics, forged during the birth of the universe as a force of goodwill and cheer. His power--"

"Yes, yes," Dr. Zlo interrupted. "Santa Claus's power is greater than even we could imagine. Get to the point already. I have a holiday to steal."

The false Santa glared. "When Santa made a deal with the old magics, he knew that unsavory character such as yourself would come after him. So he hid an addendum in the rules. Those who would try and bind him would find the power they craved lost to them, gone to find another soul that embodies the kindness and compassion of Christmas."

"Blast it!" Dr. Zlo cursed. "That means the man could be anywhere by now!"

"We still have time to find him, boss," Cass said. "Christmas is still a bit away."

Dextra leaned to the side, pulling their long hair back to reveal a communicator in their ear. "I've just been informed the elves are revolting."

"Well, they certainly weren't the nicest to look at," Mabel said with a snicker.

"Must someone make that joke every time?" Dr. Zlo complained.

"Sorry boss, part of the minion rules," Cass said.

Dextra frowned. "I don't know how, but they're plowing straight through my security."

The retired Santa boomed. "Ho ho ho! Every Santa brings a special something to their job! It seems this one's power is ready for more trying times!"

Dextra pulled out a gun and shot the bound man. Coldly, she turned to Dr. Zlo. "How many Jacques have you brought with you?"

"Enough to fill the Zlomobile," Dr. Zlo answered.

"Get as many of them as you can," Dextra said. "It seems Christmas isn't so cheery anymore."

Dr. Zlo spoke into his own communicator, releasing the Jacques as his group left the holding cell. Dextra pressed a hand to the doors along the way. "A delayed timer to open the doors," they explained at Dr. Zlo's look. "I have a number of dangerous experiments down here. Any one of them could slow these elves down while I make my escape."

"You aren't going to fight them?" Dr. Zlo questioned.

"Goodness, no," Dextra said. "Someone, or more likely, something, was able to see through my plans. I will not risk going to war until I know for sure what it is and how to beat it."

"Then I take it you no longer hold ambitions toward conquering Christmas?" Dr. Zlo asked.

"Not until I secure my position," Dextra answered.

Dr. Zlo rubbed his hands together. "Excellent! Cass! Activate the Santa Finder! We still have a chance to replace the bag!"

Cass saluted. "You got it, boss!"

The team made their way up the elevator and out into the warehouse yards. Elves of all shapes and sizes greeted them, no longer dressed in high-visibility vests. Instead, they wore red and green camouflage complete with war paint. They pointed curved candy canes at Dr. Zlo when he stepped outside. Peppermint bullets fired as Dr. Zlo took to the air.

Riptide surfed over the bullets, while Cass pulled Mabel to the side as his nano-arm expanded into a shield. Dextra stood still, letting the bullets strike an invisible forcefield on their person.

"Militarized elves?" Dr. Zlo said incredulously. "Is this new Santa Claus a general?"

"Worse," Dextra said, pointing to a new group of elves. "They're a hero."

Dr. Zlo turned in the direction Dextra pointed. A trio of elves in red and green spandex stood together in a heroic pose. Each elves eyes were glowing with power as they locked on to Dr. Zlo.

"For Christmas!" the trio shouted. They joined hands, forming a ball of light where they stood.

Dr. Zlo blinked spots out of his eyes, the light vanishing a moment later. In its place stood a muscled hero in green and red. He sported a large, white beard that ran down to his chest. On his back rested a massive candy cane and in each hand he carried a gingerbread sword.

"I'm not even going to try and understand this one," Dr. Zlo said.

"I am the guardian of Christmas!" the hero said. "Protector of Santa Claus and all things good! Villain, prepare to face my blade!"

"I'd rather not," Dr. Zlo said. "Mabel? If you'd be so kind."

"Why, I'd love to oblige you, hon," Mabel said. She stepped forward. "Now, how's about you be a dear and put those weapons down for dear ol' momma?"

The guardian of Christmas stopped, staring at Mabel.

"That's right," the woman said. She walked up to the hero. "There ain't a need for you to worry about all this. A mighty fine man like yourself just needs to stick by my side."

Mabel moved to place a hand on the hero's shoulder. In that moment, he struck. Two gingerbread swords swung down at Mabel. In that moment, Dr. Zlo's interventive teleporter intervened, sending Mable back to the hideout.

"How dare you attempt to control a part of Christmas," the hero said after Mabel vanished.

"Mabel!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Grr! You'll pay for that you color clashing clandestine!"

Dr. Zlo lashed out with his monocle, but the energy struck against a glowing pink shield that manifest around the hero.

"You can't harm the might of Christmas!" the hero gloated.

"You dare challenge me!" Dr. Zlo roared. "I am the foremost villainous mastermind! The greatest criminal known to man! I blew up the moon, you cretin! A paltry hero such as yourself will be nothing!"

Dr. Zlo unclipped a button from his suit, throwing it at the hero. It exploded in a ball of fire, sending the nearby elves flying. Dr. Zlo laughed at the sight, almost missing the gigantic red and green swirl ornament that launched from the smoke.

The villain flew to the side, looking down at the cleared smoke to see the hero holding the massive candy cane, now revealed to be a ornament bazooka.

"Merry Christmas, you animal," the hero said, firing.

Ornaments of all colors launched at Dr. Zlo in succession, the villain twisting out of the way in a panic. Some of the Christmas decorations were on a timer, exploding into shards of glass as they traveled. It took all of Dr. Zlo's skill with his rocket boots to avoid them, and even then a few of the glass shards struck him.

Dr. Zlo removed a line of buttons from his coat, throwing them down with a growl of frustration. The subsequent explosions obscured the battlefield, giving the villain time to prepare his cane. When the hero appeared once more, Dr. Zlo was ready.

"I hope you like it hot, hero! Because today I'm Mr. Sun!" the villain shouted.

Dr. Zlo unleashed a wave of fire from his spell cane, coating the area in flames. The hero jumped back, zipping and zagging around the warehouse grounds as Dr. Zlo gave chase.

"What's wrong, hero? Are things too hot for you?" Dr. Zlo mocked.

The hero stayed silent, running around the area until they reached a series of pipes. They stopped there, Dr. Zlo coming to a stop behind them.

"Out of places to run?" the villain derided.

"Just needed to find a good place," the hero answered.

"What, for your death? Pipes hardly seem appropriate, but who am I to deny last requests. Now, die!"

Dr. Zlo unleashed a torrent of fire from his cane, cackling madly. The hero turned, grabbing the piping and ripping them clean off their supports.

"I think you need to chill," the hero said.

A torrent of cold water spilled from the broken pipes onto the flames, putting them out. The water pressure continued to carry the wave upward at Dr. Zlo.

"No!" shouted the villain. "This isn't possible!"

"Right on, dude!"

Dr. Zlo looked over to see Riptide surfing in. The surfer turned, landing on top of the wave as he grabbed Dr. Zlo.

"Come on, dude," Ritpide said. "Cass has a direction from your tracker thing."

"You haven't seen the last of me!" Dr. Zlo shouted to the hero below. "I'll destroy Christmas if it’s the last thing I do!"

"Uh-oh dude," Riptide said with a smile. "Ultimatums are a red flag."

"Quiet you," Dr. Zlo huffed.

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