Vaudevillain

Lovelace scuttled up Dr. Zlo's arm minutes after the group escaped the mechanic shop. For some reason, the Young Dragon or whatever he was didn't send his goons after the three; something Sweet Dream considered a stroke of luck.

"Fighting there would have been such a pain."

"Aw, man. I was hoping to test out my new board," Riptide said.

"You got a new board?" Dr. Zlo asked. "You replaced my board?"

Riptide's eyes widened a bit, "Um. No, not exactly, dude."

Lovelace chose that moment to get Dr. Zlo's attention.

My Lord, the museum seems relatively unguarded compared to most. There are only a few guards patrolling, and the security system is faulty. It's like someone wants the materials to get stolen.

"Nonsense," Dr. Zlo said. "I'm sure it's because no one cares about some silly piece of armor."

"What'd the mouse say?" Riptide asked.

Dr. Zlo looked over at his friend, "Don't think I haven't forgotten about replacing my invention. But, Lovelace was telling me how weakly guarded the museum was."

"Oh, come on, dude. I'm not forgetting about it," Riptide cajoled. "I'm repurposing it!"

Dr. Zlo raised an eyebrow.

"I," Riptide pointed to himself proudly, "got a new power."

"Do tell," Dr. Zlo deadpanned.

"No, dude. It's awesome!" Riptide exclaimed. "I can supercharge my surfboards and store them! By doing tricks, I can make waves and other things appear."

"What? You didn't tell me about that," Sweet Dream said.

"I was going to make it a surprise," Riptide answered. "Look, dudes!"

Riptide pulled out Dr. Zlo's surfboard, the device now glowing a bright sea blue. Gracefully, the villain hopped onto his board and performed a simple trick. The surfboard lit up like fluorescent algae, and a small wave crashed over the road. Riptide cut back toward his companions, another wave forming as he did.

"Not bad," Dr. Zlo commented as Riptide landed. "I forgive you for your poor choice of words earlier."

"Gee, thanks dude," Riptide said. "And get this! Different boards have different effects. I got this one with flames painted on it, and I surfed lava! Actual lava! The board burnt up a moment later, and I respawned, but it was awesome!"

Dylan blinked. That was impressive. He didn't expect his friend to have such an amazing upgrade to his power, especially one that worked so well with his earlier ability.

"Are you secretly a pro gamer or something?" Dylan muttered.

"Nah, dude," Riptide answered. "I fail upwards."

"That he does," Sweet Dream said. "Now, come on. If the security is as weak as your minion says, getting that armor should be easy."

The Toedo Museum of Heraldric History sat nestled in the center of one of the city's great skyscrapers. Close enough to the ground that the general masses could view it, but high enough up to show its status. The building was home to various old armors, heraldys, and other signage from the city's history—their claim to fame a series of fans held by powerful men and women during the warring periods.

The museum heads had done everything they could to carefully arrange the various pieces on display, separating everything into the different clans and organizing them by date. Their goal was to tell a story of Toedo's ancestral lineages. The city's powerful rising and falling as time went on.

It was a shame no one cared about it.

Well, no one except this phantom thief running around, thought inspector Yoriki. A pain in his side, the thief was. The man left a calling card for the police at the museum. Every. Single. Time. It was enough to drive the police chief mad.

"Yoriki!" the chief shouted at him. "How haven't we caught this man yet!"

"We're working on it, boss," Yoriki placated. He wasn't about to speak his beliefs in front of the police.

Personally, Yoriki believed the phantom thief kept getting away because he had access to private information. Information only privy to the chief of police. Of course, Yoriki didn't suspect the chief. There was no reason for the politically minded man to sabotage his career like that. However, Yoriki did suspect a few others close to the chief.

But he couldn't start digging. Not yet. First, he needed to find a link, which was why he and a score of other officers were waiting far away from the museum with scanning equipment. If a criminal so much as sneezed, Yoriki would have it recorded. Why he even caught a group of mice scurrying through the museum before leaving.

It was a suspicious movement, but nothing in the phantom thief's repertoire touted pied piper shenanigans. The undercover cops didn't notice a thing either. It seemed to be an odd coincidence, even if the entire thing sat in Yoriki's gut like a heavy lunch.

"Inspector, I think we have something," one of the scouts said.

Yoriki bent over the man to look at the recording instrument. A man was walking into the museum. Someone Yoriki knew well.

"That's secretary Yoshida," the inspector murmured. "Now, what's he doing here?"

"Should we get ready?" the scout asked.

"Make sure everyone's on standby," the inspector said. "We're going to catch the man red-handed."

Yoriki donned his trenchcoat, pulling out the crumpled pack of cigarettes resting in his front pocket and bumming a lighter off one of the others. A quick puff of smoke later saw the inspector setting up a blockade around the museum, the police covering every entrance and exit with their K-Drones. Yoriki's personal drone yipped in annoyance as a waft of smoke crested up its nose, making the inspector look up for a moment.

The lucky break was what tipped him off before the others. A man dressed like a surfer, wearing a motorcycle helmet styled like a shark, crested over the railing of the building nearby. A wave of water followed, the man whooping as he made a beeline for the front entrance.

"Cowabunga, police dudes!" Riptide shouted.

"Break formation!" Yoriki boomed. "It's a super attack!"

Yoriki dove behind cover, taking his own advice, hiding behind an ashtray and wastebasket combo bolted to the sidewalk nearby. He gripped the basket, his knuckles turning white as the villain's power washed over him. The inspector heard screaming from a few unlucky policemen and realized with a sinking feeling that the wave tossed those brave protectors over the rails.

The wave stopped as quickly as it came, letting Yoriki stand and take stock of the situation. The villain's wave of water had smashed the blockade to pieces, K-drones scattered around the area like broken branches after a storm. A few police were standing, ones who were lucky enough to find something to grab. A whining sound caught his attention. His own K-drone had hidden under Yoriki's coat and was coming out now to see if he was okay.

"I'm fine," the inspector assured. Then he shook his head. He was almost as bad as those tech nerds now. Really, who would ever make such realistic drones for police work? The drones were supposed to replace K9 companions; that didn't mean they needed every part of a dog's personality.

Yoriki shook his head, dislodging a bit of water from his ear. He whirled, searching for the villain while calling for backup on his phone. The department would get wind of the super attack and task the correct heroes on the job. But right now, Yoriki needed to stay alert.

His K-drone's growling shifted his attention to the walkway leading to the museum. A man strolled down the way, a cane twirling in his hand as he hummed a small tune. Behind him stood a brown horror, which in turn was flanked on both sides by smaller brown monsters.

"I thought you said it wasn't heavily guarded!" A woman's voice yelled. Yoriki was shocked to realize it came from the monster.

"A minor setback," the man with the cane said. "It isn't like mundane police can do anything to villains like us."

Yoriki glowered. This man seemed to know exactly how to rile him up.

The man stopped, almost as if Yoriki's glare rooted him to the spot. But no, it was only because the villain wanted to grandstand.

"Good evening, police and guards of this fine establishment!" the man boomed. "I am Dr. Zlo! Criminal mastermind! And I have come for a rather special item you have on display. Do not worry! If you sit still like good children, no harm will come to you. In fact, Sweet Dream here will give you a treat!"

The monster's smaller children lumbered forward on unsteady legs.

"D*mnit," Sweet Dream cursed. "Why are these things a b*tch to control?"

Yoriki noticed one of the little brown men fall on its face, a splatting noise reaching the inspector's ears.

"They don't exactly have muscles or bones," Dr. Zlo explained. "I'd be surprised if they were easy to control. Perhaps it would be better to make them gumdrop shaped? Or like kisses?"

"You of all people should understand aesthetics," Sweet Dream grumbled.

"Ah, fair point."

Yoriki knew he needed to do something. Anything to stall these villains. Heroes would be on the way soon, and they would be able to deal with this trio bent on stealing whatever was in the museum. He quickly wondered if it was the same item the phantom thief wanted but put it to the back of his mind. Inferring could come later. Right now, Yoriki needed to distract.

"Wait!" the inspector shouted. "Don't think you can get away with this. The heroes will be after you!"

"Oh, I know!" Dr. Zlo answered cheerfully. "That's one of the best parts! It's terribly hard to prove your intellect when no one else is around."

"What is it you're after anyway!" Yoriki shouted, realizing this villain was eager to talk.

"Well, if you must know…" Dr. Zlo started.

"Zlo…" Sweet Dream looked at him. "We don't have time. And he's obviously stalling."

Yoriki cursed under his breath.

"But Sweet Dream!" Dr. Zlo exclaimed. "How often do I get to explain my plan? And to an interested party, no less? Often it's just, 'I don't care,' or, 'die already!' You don't know how refreshing it is to hear someone take an interest in my work."

"And we don't have time for it," Sweet Dream argued.

Dr. Zlo waved a hand, "Oh, it's not like this particular piece is all that important. It was more a way for me to flex my intellectual muscles. Really, any old piece will do. If we fail, I can always try somewhere else."

Sweet Dream stared at him for a bit, her expression unreadable under all that chocolate.

"C'mon, Dream," Riptide said, surfing up next to the two villains. "Don't you want to try out your new power on some actual heroes?"

"Ugh, fine," Sweet Dream said. "But don't say I didn't warn you if we fail. And no blaming us!"

Sweet Dream thrust a chocolate finger at Dr. Zlo, accentuating her last point.

"Noted," Dr. Zlo said. He turned to Yoriki.

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