Vaudevillain

The hero landed on a piece of the walkway, the metal railing swinging freely in the air as the wind rushed past. Ahead, Matt-att saw Dr. Zlo, waiting beside a silver man and a copper woman riding a muscular man. Faceless figures stood around them, saluting or making other gestures, performing a comical routine that stopped Matt-att for a second.

"I see you decided to give chase," Dr. Zlo said. "A pity. I gave you a chance to be a true hero, you know."

"I don't need your help in being a hero," Matt-att countered.

"Are you quite sure?" Dr. Zlo retorted. He tapped his cane on the railing, pointing it down below.

"Alright, I'll play your game," Matt-att muttered.

The hero looked down to where Dr. Zlo pointed, taking in the sight of Haven City. The once pristine financial district smoked black as fires burnt into the surrounding buildings.

"This is what you heroes did," Dr. Zlo started. "You hide behind good intentions without taking into account the consequences of your actions. Tell me, hero. You called me a troll, but the way I see it, your actions are more Trollish in nature, no?"

"Oh, don't give me that bullsh*t," Matt-att started. "You're the one who decided to f*ck up people's days. That means all of this is your fault."

"Ah, but you could have done better, wouldn't you say?"

"Thank you Cass."

Matt-att rolled his eyes. Dr. Zlo was laying it on thick now, adding all of this sophism to seem like someone above the world. The streamer wondered if that was part of the act as well, or if the words coming out of Dr. Zlo's mouth were legitimate.

"Who the f*ck cares if we coulda done better," Matt-att answered. Since he already decided to listen to the guy, leaning into the whole act couldn't hurt. "At the end of the day, I'm the one with power, and I get to decide what to do with that."

Dr. Zlo raised an eyebrow, "It seems we're not so different, you and I."

"Get off your high f*cking horse and fight already," Matt-att said.

Dr. Zlo stepped forward, parting his minions like a prophet and stepping towards Matt-att. The villain stopped a bit away from the streamer, then held out his hand.

"Join me, hero," Dr. Zlo said. "You said it yourself. You get to decide what to do with your power. How would you like to use it for yourself? Ignore all of the responsibilities hero work requires of you, and unleash your true potential!"

Dr. Zlo balled his outstretched hand into a fist, "Imagine! With your power, we could destroy entire continents and bring the world to its knees under our rule! The unwashed masses would have to listen to us, would have to respect the might we wield!"

The villain ended the speech by thrusting his hand into the air, "No more bindings that stop you from getting what you want. No social rules to say it's wrong or illegal. Just pure power, and the rule that comes with it!"

Things stood silent after Dr. Zlo finished, only the quiet humming from the levitation generator, reaching Matt-att's ears. Dr. Zlo brought his hand back down, offering it to Matt-att once more. The hero blinked and stared at the hand while the villain held a look of triumph.

"Wow, I thought you might have a f*cking point in all of that," Matt-att said after a second.

Dr. Zlo faltered, "What?"

"Newsflash, we're all using our power for ourselves here," the streamer said. "Besides, I kind of like it when people wave to me on the street. They may be NPCs, but adoration is adoration."

Matt-att readied himself, "Now, are you going to fight, or am I going to have to take you down like the little b*tch you are?"

Dr. Zlo sighed, "Unfortunate, we could have been so much more. Jacques!"

The villain's goofy minions streamed past Dr. Zlo, rushing at Matt-att in an uncoordinated pile. The streamer leisurely moved through them, breaking the minions to pieces with a simple touch. After getting touched, one of the Jacques stopped and turned to its companion. The Jacques stumbled into its companion, wrapping its arms around its companion's shoulders before sinking to the ground. The companion leaned over as the Jacques lay on its back. Seconds later, the Jacques disappeared into dust, its companion leaning over.

"C'mon, I've seen these before!" Matt-att taunted. "Bring out something new!"

"If you insist," Dr. Zlo said. "Mabel?"

"You got it, hon," the minion replied.

Dylan was on cloud nine. He'd gotten to gloat, he'd gotten to force the hero into a dilemma, and he'd even gotten to ask the hero to join forces. It was the trifecta of villainy, the cliché of the cliches. And it brought with it such a smile to his face.

Truthfully, Dylan wished he could have done a bit more with the dilemma option. It would have been nice to kidnap someone important to the hero and force him to make a choice. Oh well, Dylan worked with the opportunities he had. Besides, chasing a villain to stop him for good or staying behind to save Haven.

But Dr. Zlo nailed the join forces speech, at least in Dylan's opinion. It had the "we're not so different" cliché, which Dylan always loved, and the pure ego that Dr. Zlo embodied. The icing on the cake was the hero's refusal. Honestly, Dylan didn't expect the player to go along with his speech and fully expected a surprise attack of some kind.

Mabel's sonic gun rumbled the walkways, bringing Dr. Zlo back out to the fight. It was too bad a moment of carelessness had lost him the Zloppelin, but a clash on the ruins of his ship as it went down sounded perfect for the last battle.

Dr. Zlo sat back and watched as Mabel and Suitor danced around Matt-att. Mabel would try and distract with her sonic cannon while Suitor went in for the kill. It was a decent plan, but both had to stay wary of Matt-att's power, and the hero's flight pack made it hard to pin him down.

"I should make some flight packs for my minions," Dr. Zlo said to Cass idly. "Maybe an umbrella for Mabel."

"Why an umbrella, boss?" Cass asked.

"I can't think of anything else that would fit Mabel's image," Dr. Zlo replied.

"Hon, as much as I like you checking me out and all, this here hero is a bit much for myself and Suitor. Be a dear and lend a hand?"

Dr. Zlo looked over at the fight. Matt-att had eliminated almost all of the remaining Jacques. The few left standing cowered in the corner, their hands over their ears so Mabel couldn't pull them into the fight. The minioness herself had been pushed away from Suitor toward the edge of the Zloppelin's ruins, and only a few feet stood between her and a freefall. Suitor kept trying to make his way over to his controller, but Matt-att kept timing his swipes to push the NPC away. Not even Suitor's skin could prevent Matt-att's power.

"We need to take out his flight pack," Dr. Zlo said to Cass. "I'm going to try hitting it with a few lasers."

The villain pulled something out of his inventory, which looked like a cross between a backpack and a bar tap. An extended nozzle ran from the bottom of the pack, and it wrapped around Cass as he donned the gear.

"What is it, boss?" Cass asked as he straightened his suit around the pack.

"The crude name for it is a flamethrower," Dr. Zlo said. "You see that nozzle? At the end is a lighter switch."

Cass twisted the nozzle around to take a look.

"Don't point it at yourself, idiot!" Dr. Zlo exclaimed. "What if you activate it!"

"Sorry, boss."

Dr. Zlo sighed, "Listen, Cass. This device is solely for you and is the perfect way to use your alcohol procuring powers. Fill this pack with liquor of the highest alcohol content and unleash fiery terror on our foes!"

Cass tightened the straps on the pack and nodded, "You got it, boss."

"Excellent! Now, go help distract him. I'm going to do something about that flight pack."

With that, Dr. Zlo took off, his rocket boots sending him up into the air to confront the hero. He halted a few feet away from Matt-att, firing his laser to get the player's attention. The hero answered, bringing his shield around and stopping the blow in its tracks.

"Finally coming out to play?" Matt-att taunted.

"It seems you are more formidable than I expected. It's too bad you're still inferior to my genius!"

Dr. Zlo activated his monocle and tossed one of his button bombs at the same time. The hero stopped both, but the explosion blocked Matt-att's vision, blinding him to Cass's approach.

"Ha, did you think that would work?" Matt-att jeered.

"Of course not," Dr. Zlo said. "But I find explosions make a great distraction."

Matt-att furrowed his brow, then started as a gout of flame from below singed his legs. A twinge of pain ran up the player's spine, and Matt-att saw his health drop for the first time in the fight.

"Gah! F*ck!" the hero shouted.

Matt-att whipped around to see Cass holding his flamethrower, a clear liquid dripping from the nozzle. The hero growled but was forced to bring his shield up again as Mabel's sonic gun struck. Then it was Dr. Zlo's turn, and Matt-att had to fly into the sky to escape Cass's range.

"As I said, inferior," Dr. Zlo remarked as he moved in closer.

"A bit risky to get in my range," Matt-att said.

"Hardly," Dr. Zlo answered. "I've seen all your moves. And I'm prepared for any eventuality."

"Oh yeah?" Matt-att said. "How about this?"

The hero shot upward, pointing a hand out at Dr. Zlo. A white beam of static shot out from the appendage, forcing Dr. Zlo to move to one side to avoid the blow.

"You showed that trick plenty of times earlier," Dr. Zlo remarked.

"Wasn't aiming at ya," Matt-att said.

With a start, Dr. Zlo realized what he meant. The villain twisted around to see his last levitation generator speared through by Matt-att's disintegration beam. The last remnants of Dr. Zlo's Zloppelin started to sink. The walkways, barely holding together before, were splitting apart like stepped on potato chips, and Dr. Zlo watched as Mabel and Cass started to fall.

"Now, it's just you and me," the hero said.

Dr. Zlo turned back to face Matt-att, a dark look on his face, "So it would seem."

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