Vaudevillain

"Man, when are the heroes going to get here?" Leatherface complained. "We went to all this trouble to attack this place. The least they could do is give us a quick response."

The villain adjusted the leather mask over their face, making it slightly more comfortable. The mask wasn't to hide his features but to give a look of mysterious menace. Personally, Fleshgrabber thought the facemask was a bit much, but he wasn't about to let a little disagreement like fashion get in the way of the two's fun.

The two players were sitting on empty pallets while various NPCs ran around them, shoveling candy onto a conveyor belt that led to the docking area. Leatherface lounged on top of the boxes like a cat sunbathing, while Fleshgrabber sat on the edge and kicked his feet against the pallet's edge.

"Maybe they're setting up a perimeter. You know, trying to keep us contained inside the factory," Fleshgrabber replied.

Leatherface stretched and swung his spiked bat around, brandishing it at one of the NPCs. The poor AI was one of many collected by the two villains to shovel all the candy towards the waiting trucks. It cowered under the threatening gaze of the villain and begged for their life.

"Please. I have a wife and children!"

Leatherface ignored the cries. He jumped off his perch and brought his bat down on top of the NPC. A few seconds later, the worker's body disappeared, leaving behind an apron.

Fleshgrabber and Leatherface looked at each other.

"An apron?" Leatherface said.

"God, sometimes I wonder who thought up the drop system," Leatherface complained. "We've seen a hat, some pieces of hard candy, and now an apron. Shouldn't we be getting something more substantial? Like money?"

"Yeah, or maybe some reputation."

"For real. Murder should be on the higher end of the reputation system," Leatherface complained. He idly flipped his bloody bat in his hands, "Murder shouldn't be rank D."

"At least breaking this whole place is C level," Fleshgrabber said. "And fighting other heroes will always net us some rep. But really, who would ever think of stealing from a candy factory."

"A candy-themed villain," Leatherface answered. "Though honestly, I'm surprised I didn't think of it first."

"Why's that?"

"You know how we spent so much time trying to rob banks earlier?"

"Yeah," Fleshgrabber nodded.

"Well, so was everybody else. Like idiots, we all joined up in the same areas to try and net the most money. Instead, we brought all the hero players to our locations and lost out almost all the time."

"Oh I see. We could have left for places like here and got off scot-free, netting some easy rep." Fleshgrabber looked pensive, "But then we couldn't have fought all those other players."

Leatherface nodded in agreement. He had many complaints about the reputation system, but the PVP aspect was not one of them. The player enjoyed the challenge fighting other players gave, and he relished the chance to have a good fight. Breaking the surrounding area was icing on the cake.

Leatherface was fully aware that others considered his actions "murderhobo-ish," but the way he saw it, this was only a game. Sometimes he needed the stress relief that came with utterly ruining a city street with a satchel of cluster grenades just because it sounded like fun. Besides, the same NPCs came back after a day or so. Probably through the same system that fixed up all the buildings.

"God, I'm so bored," Fleshgrabber said.

Leatherface looked at his friend. Bart, the last of their apocalyptic trio, was sitting with Sweet Dream near the trucks, his power needed for when the heroes arrived. Fleshgrabber idly rocked on the balls of his feet, as if ready for something to attack at any moment. Truthfully, it was the guy's ADHD acting up. Fleshgrabber couldn't sit still, ever.

"Wait, what's that?" Fleshgrabber asked, pointing at the door.

Leatherface looked over. A face was staring through the small window above the double doors leading back to the entrance.

"Finally," Leatherface said, standing from his leaning position that he'd fallen into while talking. "I thought we'd never get to see some action."

Fleshgrabber hopped off the pallet to stand next to his friend. "Get in here already!" he hollered. "We're itching for a fight!"

The doors opened to reveal two players, a hero and a villain.

"Damn, we can't get any rep from a villain," Leatherface complained.

"At least one of them's a hero," Fleshgrabber said.

"I'm going to give you one chance to surrender!" Hex yelled from across the room.

"Ha! Fat chance!" Leatherface shot back. "We've been looking for a real challenge all day. You think we're going to give that up?"

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Hex said. "Patru!"

Once Hex shouted, an inky mist formed around his hands. It wrapped and twisted around his hand, spiraling upward to create a thin rapier. Lill'Personator mimed notching an arrow, and a glimmering bow, barely visible, manifested in his hands. Leatherface twirled his bat, twisting the leather grip apart in his hands. Fleshgrabber grabbed both his forearms and tugged.

Both Leatherface's bat grip and Fleshgrabber's arms unfurled like frayed strings, eliciting disgusted looks from both their opponents.

"What the f*ck!" Lill shouted. "That's disgusting!"

Fleshgrabber's arms finished their grotesque transformation, turning into frayed whips of bone and sinew. The player dashed forward, attempting to get in range before Lill'Personator fired off the arrow in their hands. Leatherface grabbed at the frayed strands of leather on his bat and wrapped them up around his arm. He then pulled at his spiked jacket, twisting it around him like a spider wrapping prey. The jacket shrunk and covered his torso, becoming a powerful suit of armor. The villain ran after his friend, aiming to fight the player with the smoky sword.

A bit unnerved and thoroughly disgusted, Lill launched the arrow in their grasp and mimed spraying a firehose right after. Fleshgrabber cut left, dodging the shot but fell prey to the hero's second attack. The almost-invisible water torrented him, knocking the player off balance. Fleshgrabber fell to the ground sputtering. Lill'Personator smiled. Those two arms wouldn't be able to stand him up.

But Fleshgrabber wasn't going down without a fight. The villain kicked upward in a flash and threw his torso forward, standing up like a kung-fu master. Lill blinked in surprise at the move, having never seen someone perform such an action in the game. Fleshgrabber used the moment to whip one of his arms at Lill, sending a spray of bone at the hero.

Lill quickly raised an invisible wall between him and his enemy. The bone shards smacked against the shimmering barrier, gouging into the wall from the force of their blow. Lill quickly mimed throwing a ball at Fleshgrabber, and the shimmering projectile sped toward the villain.

Leatherface stepped between the two players, swinging his bat at the oncoming ball. The dull sound of wood echoed across the factory floor, followed by the thwap of a baseball hitting the ceiling.

"Home run!" Leatherface taunted.

"Thanks," Fleshgrabber said. He ran past his companion, launching more bone shards with another swing.

Lill threw up a shield, letting the bone ping off the protection. The player charged to meet Fleshgrabber, miming a sword swing once he entered the player's range. Fleshgrabber twisted around the blow, using the momentum to swing his arm upward. Lill turned his shield in front of the strike, recoiling from the force of the strike.

Fleshgrabber followed up with a swing from above, giving Lill'Personator as little breathing room as possible. Lill blocked again with their shield, stepping back under the continuous assault.

"F*cking run out of breath or something," Lill complained.

"You could always drop the shield," Fleshgrabber said between strikes.

The villain swung at Lill again, the whip of flesh creating wet slaps against the conjured shield. Lill shoved the blow aside and took a risk. He stepped into the villain's next attack with his shield, pushing against the attack with all his might. Fleshgrabber fell back from the strike, giving Lill an opening.

The hero mimed stabbing a spear into the villain's flank and grinned as he felt his conjured spear sink into his foe. Fleshgrabber fell back, wincing in pain.

"Good shot," he complimented.

"I try," Lill said.

The hero mimed throwing his spear and conjured a gun to follow. Fleshgrabber dove to the ground, rolling the rest of the way behind a line of crates. Gunfire splintered the floor behind him, hastening the man's roll. He popped up behind the line of boxes and whipped a few bone shards over his head. Lill ducked to the side, not wanting to lose their gun just yet. The decision cost him a bit of health as the shotgunned bone shards found purchase in his leg.

Lill winced from the loss of health but returned fire with his conjured gun. Crates splintered to pieces as the invisible ammunition drilled through the weak wood. But Fleshgrabber had already moved past the line of containers to lean behind a large, spindling machine. Seeing he wasn't hitting anything, Lill dropped his gun and prepared himself for a surprise attack.

In the meantime, the other two players were in each other's faces; trading blows with their respective weapons. Hex's rapier of shadow chipped away at Leatherface's wooden bat, ignoring the thin sword's traditional properties entirely. However, the shadow blade couldn't break through the Leatherface's leather armor, which put the two at something of a stalemate. Leatherface had to keep his bat angled to keep the shadow blade from slicing straight through, leaving him with few options to attack. The same could be said of Hex, who had to aim for openings in Leatherface's armor.

"You really know your way around a sword," Leatherface said to Hex.

"Dad thought I would be his little prodigy," Hex answered. "So I had to take years of fencing classes. It's amazing how useful it is in VR."

"No kidding!" Leatherface grunted, thrusting with the tip of his bat. "Most people fall after a few swings."

Hex pushed the bat away with his blade, shaving a bit more wood off in the process. The bat slid under Hex's arm, and the player countered by bringing his rapier toward Leatherface's armpit. Leatherface abandoned his attack, jumping back from Hex's thrust. The two eyed each other warily, circling the small space around the front of the factory.

"You know," Leatherface said, breaking the silence, "I'm more of a baseball man myself. Took years of it in school."

"Should I be impressed?" Hex asked.

"Nah," Leatherface responded. "I just thought since you were sharing, I'd give you a bit too."

"How kind of you," Hex replied.

Hex advanced this time, bringing his blade in a downward chop. Leatherface jumped into the blow, moving to the right so the strike connected with his armored elbow. The villain kept up his charge, forcing Hex to dodge around the man. The two traded places, whirling around to keep each other in their sights.

"Seriously, how hard is that leather?" Hex asked. "You shouldn't be able to move in that."

"It's my power," Leatherface said. "I control leather, and I can make it stronger than normal."

"That doesn't seem all that strong," Hex replied.

"It's not the greatest," Leatherface admitted. "Speedsters and strongmen are faster and stronger, but I can take a hit against both of them. And none of them expect it."

"Makes for a good element of surprise," Hex admitted. "Too bad you're up against someone competent."

"Bold words for a two-bit shadow blade user."

Hex lunged forward with his rapier, aiming for Leatherface's midsection where the leather parted for movement. Leatherface hopped back, swinging his bat around to crack Hex's wrist.

Hex smiled and yelled, "Edepu!"

The player's rapier unfurled in a spiral and became a blast of wind. Caught off guard, Leatherface found himself flying across the factory.

Hex didn't wait for his foe to land. Shouting, "Arhu!" the player started running towards Leatherface's landing zone. The black mist swirled around his legs, boosting his speed to put him right where Leatherface would land.

"Two-bit, huh?" Hex taunted. He shouted one more time, "Dalaqu!" and his mist transformed into black flames that raced toward Leatherface.

But Leatherface wasn't out quite yet. The villain flicked his wrist, unraveling his bat's leather grip and collecting it with his hand. Another flick of his wrist sent the leather flying, where it wrapped around a steel rail on the ceiling. Leatherface braced himself and wrapped the leather around his arm. The material went taut, jerking him up and changing his trajectory. Leatherface swung completely over the flames, whooping in excitement as he did. Swinging around like Arachnoman never got old.

He flicked his wrist again, and the leather unwound from the ceiling. Leatherface landed in a run past Hex, and he screeched to a stop a good three yards from the hero. Leatherface flicked his wrist once more, and the leather coiled around his arm again. He walked up to Hex, his gait leisurely but his eyes focused. Once he got within earshot, Leatherface spoke.

"Two. Bit."

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