The Butcher of Gadobhra

The atmosphere in the tavern the next morning was somber and tense.

Brandon was fuming about the losses the night before and blaming most everyone. His ranting lost much of its power due to many slurred words and a growing stain down his chest as he continued to spill food or drink from his mouth while eating. He was forcing himself to eat some groatmeal that Betty had ground extra fine for him. Not being able to chew made it difficult to eat much else.

Sir Timothy was attempting to eat breakfast left-handed and complaining about the unfairness of the world. Luckily his adventuring crew was paid to put up with his small complaints and were now experts at polite agreements like, "Oh, absolutely, you're a saint to put up with this!"

Betty had just rolled her eyes at the two of them. She served groatmeal and muffins every day to 75 contract workers who smiled and were polite to her.

General Themis was sipping her sub-par tea, the Inn having run out of her preferred brew. She didn't mind the muffins at all. She'd eaten much worse in a life of campaigning.

Timmy gave up on using a fork to eat his eggs and just concentrated on getting the muffins into his mouth. Both Timmy and Brandon looked forward to concluding the deal with Vernon, and then jumping off a roof and resurrecting.

Timmy turned to Themis, "Something isn't right. How are we losing to a non-existent army?"

Themis turned a bland face to him. "Sorry boy. I'm an impartial advisor. Ask someone else to explain the obvious to you."

"Perhaps I can be of some assistance, Sir Timothy?" It was the man Brandon had hired to root out the ACME players hiding in the woods, Falconer. He was dressed today in an all-green outfit with a pointed cap with a red feather. But one of his eyes was odd. It was just dark black.

Falconer chuckled, "It's not here right now. I'm blind in this eye when I use a special skill, but I can see what my bird sees. She's out scouting for anyone from ACME who might show their face."

"After yesterday, I'm not underestimating them. I took three people with me, good scouts all. We got ambushed by a naked wild man, a giant werebat, and a talking deer. The two losses for ACME on that report were the naked guy and the bat thing. We got those two, I wounded the deer, but my three scouts were all killed. I suspect the bat had poisoned claws."

Timmy raised an eyebrow in dismay. "Where are they getting giant bats and talking deer?"

"You know what? I actually don't care. You killed two of their fighters. They are down to four people. Explain how they are killing so many on our side."

Falconer accepted a plate of food from the kitchen and laid into it like he hadn't eaten in days. "Easy, they are fighting a guerilla war and hitting you where you are weak, while you stay here on defense. Other than my scouting, you didn't use your forces well after the initial victory. You sat still. They started hitting you where you only had two or three people, picking you off."

"It doesn't help that this shit hole of a town has bad neighbors. The goblins and bandits look for any excuse to attack. The bandits hit you last night. They'll be back tonight and every night until you meet their demands or wipe them out. I suggest paying them off. Much cheaper."

"The goblins came looking for alcohol. They'd rather trade for booze than raid, but your people insulted them until they attacked. Now they'll be on the warpath. They aren't great fighters, but there are over five hundred of them in the tribe - and now they are pissed."

"Frankly, I wonder why you bother with this town."

Timmy was wondering that himself. He knew the whole idea behind the corporations competing in the game, but it seemed like a silly thing compared to adventuring and producing his videos.

But Vernon would be here soon, they'd make the deal, and then he was going to let it be Brandon's problem. He needed a break. He wanted to put together a good raid group and hit that stupid dungeon again. The Big Rat was still down there. He wanted a kill on it.

The door to the kitchen opened and someone backed into the room with hot food in each hand. Turning around, Suzette asked the room, "So, who needs breakfast? We have meat pies fresh out of the oven and some tasty muffins. Do you need more, Sir Timothy?" She smiled at the room like it was the best day of her life, and the light of the room seemed to gravitate to her.

Timmy spat what was in his mouth out on the floor and stood up, "You're alive!"

"Oh dear, you spilled your food. Don't worry, I'll clean that right up for you." She took the rag from her belt and started cleaning up the bits of food from the floor. "There, that's better. Clean enough to eat from." She stood up and smiled vacantly at the room. "Does anyone want something to eat? Betty will cook all day if you are hungry."

Falconer raised his hand, "Another round of eggs and bacon please. Glad to see you back." Suzette turned to him, "Coming right up, sir." Themis noticed the girl looked different from before, but had a hard time coming up with exactly what had changed. She used her Examine skill as the girl went back to the kitchen.

Suzette the Lonely Barmaid lives in Sedgewick where she slings beer at the local tavern. Rumor has it that she's waiting for a local boy to notice her, but the poor lad is oblivious.

Class: Tavern Keeper

Level 6

Quests:

Sedge for Salads.

Wispy Cotton.

Stinky Cheese Part 1

Stinky Cheese Part 2

Stinky Cheese Part 3

Rats in the Cellar Part 1

Rats in the Cellar Part 2

More rats in the Cellar

Oh, well, that explains it. It wasn't the same girl. The world was just filling a Suzette-sized hole with a doppelganger. It was sad, but it happened. Especially if the person who was in Hade's domain was a quest giver.

The barmaid returned, dumping an enormous plate of eggs and a pile of bacon in front of Falconer. He ate the eggs in a hurry and picked up the bacon to eat later, "You'll excuse me. I want to get a good seat to watch the little ceremony, and also a last-minute scout for any ACME people.

Suzette waved to Falconer and set a basket of muffins in front of Timmy. She approached the general with a fresh pot of tea. "Let’s take away that lukewarm stuff and get you a piping hot pot of my special blend!"

She skipped over to Brandon who was scowling at her, "And what can I get for you, Mr. Brandon? More groatmeal?"

"Jus' fuhoff ahdon nee' anythin from you."

Suzette smiled and cocked her head to the side. "I'm sorry, something’s wrong with my ears today; I can barely understand you. But more groatmeal it is!" She skipped back into the kitchen, "Betty, I need another bowl of groatmeal please. Mr. Scowly is wearing more of the last one than he got in his mouth.”

Themis sipped her tea and was pleasantly surprised.

Timmy turned to Themis, "She's back! I thought she was dead for real."

Themis shook her head. How could he not tell? Probably hasn't leveled any perception skills; typical of baby paladins.

"She probably is. That isn't her. The tavern needs a barmaid, the gods provide one. Try not to kill this one please - she makes good tea."

"Oh...that sucks. I was hoping she was ok."

Brandon sneered at him.

Rolly and Ben entered the tavern taking the table Falconer had just vacated. Timmy immediately strode over to them, "I can't believe you show up here after killing people last night!"

Ben raised an eyebrow, "Terribly sorry, old chap. Don't know what you are talking about. I'm the General's courier. But please desist with your accusations or I will have to challenge you to a game of checkers."

Rolly just grinned, "Don't know what you are talking about."

Timmy stood his ground, hand on his sword, "People saw you in your freaky black armor, riding one of the bulls in the stampede. You joined the war on the ACME side and now I'm going to run you through!"

Rolly shook his head, "Nope. It wasn't me. I didn't do it. No one saw me do it. You can't prove anything."

"Did you see him do anything, Timmy?" Ben asked.

"No, I was in the dungeon! But other people described someone that looked like you."

Ben quirked an eyebrow, "So, you didn't see anything. But you claim that someone saw a person dressed in black, in the dark I might add, and they were riding on top of a charging bull? Is that your accusation?"

Rolly stood and raised his arms, "Tell you what, why don't you poke me a bit and threaten me, just to be sure?"

Themis was starting to stand as Timmy stabbed Rolly in the chest. Blood flowed freely as Rolly slumped to the floor.

Momco. Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon a contract worker. Slight damage to contract worker. Contract worker has been provoked.

Themis knocked Timmy back against the wall. "Out of line. What the hell are you doing? Courier, heal him before he dies."

Ben took a bite of his eggs, "No need, it was just a flesh wound."

Rolly stood up, smirking at Timmy, "See, all better. But I'm not cleaning up the mess, and you owe me for dry cleaning my burlap peasant shirt."

The outside door opened and Ozzy walked in smiling, a string of sausages in his hand.

"Hey, Betty, I've got those sausages you asked about. They're a bit on the hot side." He set them down on the bar and took a seat at a table, stretching out his long legs, and leaning back against the wall, "Oh, hiya folks, didn't mean to interrupt your breakfast; don't mind me." He smiled at them good naturedly and winked.

"Oh, hi, Rolly. Wow, you got ketchup all over you. Let me clean that up for you. Did I tell you about the time an Angel taught me a spell to help me clean things up?" Ozzy wiggled his fingers and golden light emerged. The blood on Rolly and the floor disappeared.

Brandon and Timmy had both drawn weapons and backed towards Themis as soon as Ozzy came in the door. The General could feel the fear coming off both of them. They had a bit of mental scarring from their encounter with the Butcher the day before.

Themis looked hard at the man who, only a day ago, had been trying to kill all three of them in a berserk rage, and today was using a light aspect spell.

Ozzy, The Butcher of Sedgewick

Ozzy works every day providing fresh meat for the village, and provisions for the Legion. He and his helper, Joe, are often found by his bar-b-que pit playing checkers and drinking beer. Rumor has it that he's sweet on the local barmaid but is too shy to ever ask her to a dance.

Class: Butcher

Level 6

Quests:

Fetch 10 fat rabbits for the butcher.

Fetch 10 pigs for the butcher.

Find the lost pet!

Themis frowned - another one who wasn't coming back. She was going to finish this tea, officiate a surrender, and get the hell out of this town.

Suzette came into the room and set some food in front of Ozzy, "I declare, Oswald, why didn't you tell me you were back? I'd have made you something special."

"Ah, no need to fuss, Miss Suzette. I just came over to drop off those sausages for Betty and to grab a muffin. Maybe I'll come over later this evening and we can get a game of cards going? Maybe Lefty and Mumbles would like to play? Good seeing you fellas." He walked out the door. Suzette stared after him, "I declare that boy just cannot take a hint. But where are my manners, I need to get you folks more muffins."

Themis turned to Brandon and Timmy, "I think you can put your swords down now boys, the scary butcher has left the room."

                        =*=

Vernon Throckmeyer of ACME showed up just before ten o'clock. Quite a few people were waiting for him. Most of the contract workers were in the town square to see the end of the war and find out what was happening to them, and where they were going. On the other side were a good number of the Momco fighters anxious for their pay and shares of the loot. Several people were perched on nearby rooftops.

One of those was Falconer, keeping a watch on the surrounding area. Behind him he could see the smokehouse and butcher's pit, still shooting smoke and flame into the air. The heated air made a disturbing noise, like a soul screaming in pain. Most everyone avoided the area near the pit these last few days - the exception being Rolly, who was often there chewing on a large chunk of charred sedgebeast and talking to the old man stirring the fire.

Sir Timothy had polished his armor and was standing by Brandon. In front of Brandon on a table was a large leather satchel that had been unloaded from a wagon that had come into town under guard that morning. On another table were two copies of the surrender agreement, a quill and ink.

Vernon was in a great mood, "Good to see you all. Let's get these papers signed so I can transfer that money to the capital by courier. I think this works out well for both corporations. Momco gains some significant contracts and ACME gains the funds to help carve out a new trade city to the south. No hard feelings on either side."

No one on the Momco side seemed to pay Vernon much attention. The ACME workers just glared at him. Off to the side of the workers, by themselves, Ozzy and Suzette clapped and Ozzy shouted, "Huzzah!" Ben was standing behind Themis looking sad and awkward.

Brandon just nodded and moved up to where the papers were sitting on the table.

It's an odd fact that an argument over the speed of game birds led to the creation of the Guinness book of world records. The golden plover holds that record, by the way, at 60 miles per hour. But the plover isn't the fastest flying bird. That record goes to the peregrine falcon. This fast-moving predator easily attains speeds equal to the plover when normally flying, but it's in a dive that it reaches top speed. As it swoops to snatch prey it attains an astonishing speed of up to 220 miles per hour. At the end of the dive, it turns suddenly enduring over 10 gravities of deceleration as it goes from vertical to horizontal flight.

When you consider all of this, it's not surprising that no one reacted quickly enough to stop the fast-moving bird that came screaming out of the sky, flashed past Vernon, and grabbed the heavy sack of gold on the table next to him. Before anyone could move, the bird was carrying it's heavy load up to the top of the tavern roof where Falconer stood. He relieved it of its cargo and the bird flew off, circling the town square.

Vernon turned and yelled up at Falconer, "You there! What's the meaning of this?!! Bring that back immediately."

Falconer laughed, "And waste a wonderful morning? Nay sir. Do you know how hard it is to find cloth in the shade of Lincoln Green? Though it does go so well with my eyes. I'm sure you'll get the reference some year."

Brandon yelled, "Shoothimsomonshootim."

Falconer yelled to his bird, "Keep them busy a bit partner." He jumped down the other side of the roof and disappeared. His bird hovered in the air for a second, and then breathed out a cone of lightning onto the courtyard below. The blast centered on Brandon and scattered anyone nearby doing minor damage. The bird banked and began a strafing run as several archers and mages tried to target it. Twice more the fast-moving bird unleashed lightning bolts from its beak before it swung around behind a building and was gone.

Timmy immediately tried to direct a search, "Fan out, search the whole town. Get a cordon around the area. Don't let him get to the forest! Search the buildings." Some of the Momco fighters ran off to look around the town. The contract workers ignored him and wandered back over to their barracks. Suzette and Ozzy clapped and Ozzy yelled, "Huzzah!"

Timmy ran around the tavern and into the area next to the smoke pit. Rolly was chewing on a rack of ribs. Timmy yelled at the shepherd, "Where did he go?!"

Rolly looked up, sauce staining his face and shirt, "Who?"

"Falconer. The guy who has a bird, dressed in green. He had a big leather satchel with him."

Rolly pointed to the slaughtering pens and the meadows, "Oh, think he went that way. I was talking to Joe and eating, not paying much attention. But remember the rule!"

Timmy was moving in the direction Rolly had pointed, "What rule?"

Rolly said seriously, "What happens at the corral, stays at the corral."

                    =*=

Vernon got up painfully; that had nearly killed him. Only his cheetah like reflexes had helped him fall down and avoid a second blast. Themis was just standing calmly, as she had through the whole affair. Brandon picked himself up off the ground. Vernon said, "How soon will you be getting another bag of money?"

Brandon lowered his voice and talked as best he could, "That was all the money Momco was able to raise so far in this game. There is no more money. Doesn't matter, you aren't getting anything from me. I see your plan. You had someone steal the money. Won't work - you're going to sign that surrender agreement anyway."

Vernon sneered, "My plan? I think I heard Timmy say that man was in your employ. You're cheap and trying to get out of paying me my money. I'm signing nothing! Nothing! Do you hear me!"

Themis sighed, "Then this war goes on. Momco holds a commanding advantage in combatants and objectives, but also has earned some substantial penalties."

Vern was looking at the list of ACME combatants, "Who the hell is Fearless Leader or the Bunny? I didn't put them in charge, I don't know the other people, and can't even read the end of the list."

Themis answered his question, "Stealth or similar skills. They've declared for ACME, but no one alive has seen them attack someone. Looks like Mr. Falconer just declared for ACME; fancy that. I don't know if I hate this town, or love it."

ACME

Leader: Fearless Leader

Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny

Remaining Active Fighters: 7

Fearless Leader

Bennie T Bunny

Greenberg

Falconer

Smoke

Silk Ninja

Silk Ninjette

Off to the side, Suzette clapped and Ozzy shouted, "Huzzah!" Brandon glared at them. "Oh, shut the hell up."

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