The Butcher of Gadobhra

Dori was very drunk. "I'm a little drunk." She tripped and fell into the soft grass. "Make that very drunk."

Barbellbarian dropped down next to her. "I agree, you’re very drunk. And this is far away enough from the others for little girls that want to make a lot of noise."

The two moved together, tossing armor, weapons and clothing randomly around them and then started doing something that Bennie was confused about. Part of him said this was how you made more bunnies, but he knew that to make more bunnies you just found the bones in the meadow and stared at them until they got up and followed you. He and the rest of the fluffle stayed quiet and watched for a bit until Bennie got bored.

The female was VERY noisy. It made Bennie's job so much easier. His brave, unthinking warriors moved forward grabbing clothing, armor, and everything else and dragged it back to the burrow where they hid during the day. By the time the noise and thrashing stopped the only thing that hadn't been stolen was a cloak the two had spread on the grass.

The female was patting the grass in the dark, "Shit, where did you throw my underwear when you took it off?"

"No clue - I was sort of in a hurry, I'll look for it when I find my pants...damn, drunker than I thought. We did take our clothes off here, right?" He was looking around, near blind in the dark, when he saw the eyes. Small red eyes, close to the ground and glowing with malice. One pair, two pair, six pair.... dozens, all around them.

"Sorry babe, but I think we woke up the bunnies that the newbies hunt." A dark shape darted forward and he kicked it away, hearing bones snap.

"Those aren't bunnies idiot, and there are a lot of them, we need to run."

"Not without my pants! Just kick them until they leave."

Dozens of the little shapes moved in, biting at ankles and feet, and getting stomped. The male picked up one of his warriors and yelled in a high-pitched voice, "Oh crap! Undead! They're nothing but bones."

The bulk of his horde got to them. Some bit and got stomped, others attached their jaws to the soft flesh and began to bite deeper and deeper. The woman screamed and ran, but tripped after only a few steps. His warriors swarmed over her. The male deserted his mate and ran. Bennie ran to intercept. He locked his jaws around the leg just above the ankle and tore loose the tendons. The male fell. His warriors came to help.

Eventually, by attrition, they bled the two out and killed them. And then they began to feed.

Congratulations! You have completed the quest: Kill two Evil Invaders. Fearless Leader is pleased!

Reward: All 37 surviving undead rabbits move to level 2. All 89 destroyed undead rabbits may be recycled with 20% losses.

Bennie T Bunny has gained the status: Level 3 Named Boss.

You have gained the skill: Skeletal Armor. Use one skeletal bunny as armor for another.

You have gained the skill: Amalgamation. Use the remains of 5 skeletal bunnies to create an Undead Bunny Hulk. These large horrors are nearly the size of a small dog! Skeletal Armor costs 3x the normal amount for Undead Bunny Hulks.

New Quest! Kill 3 Evil Invaders. Cause terror in their ranks!

Bennie had 71 piles of bone to use. He made 6 of the new, larger minions and armored them for 48 bones. Then, in sudden inspiration he used 8 more bone piles to wrap around himself! He grew larger and his massive form was armored! The rest of the bone piles he simply used to replace some of his losses. Time to go sneaking and see what else they could find.

Once again, he thought how lucky it was that he accepted this quest. Fearless Leader had brought him a huge barrel of brains! The soggy grey head meats had invigorated his pathetic followers and they had actually killed something. And tonight, they had killed again; and he was more powerful. Level 3 named! Such power! Soon he would challenge Mayor Burpicus for the rulership of the Bunny Burrow. But first, he had a quest to do.

                      =*=

"Greenburg, tell me Riiii, dammit, tell me again why we took this quest?"

"Because, Manwar, the polite gentleman who offered it to me said if we were on the winning side, they would offer us aid to get rid of these curses. I admit, I don't mind this form myself. My antlers are majestic and the woods are full of cute little does. But you and Monger need some help."

The giant werebat talking to the deer said "No shit? You think so? Dammit Monger, quit peeing on my leg. I'm not a hydrant."

The third member of their party was still in human form, but was mostly moving around on all fours, and sniffing the air. He often darted in odd directions or spun around confused. His skin looked diseased, his hands shook uncontrollably, and a small rain cloud was always over his head.

The deer looked at him and snorted, "You would think that after he failed to answer the first few riddles correctly, he'd have quit. Oh well, let's go set an ambush. I think there are four humans we were told about coming this way."

The deer cropped grass off to the side of the path, in a small glade. The giant bat perched high in a tree, ready to drop down. Monger was lurking in a muddy spot under a bush. Three humans were moving up the path towards them. A fourth followed a few paces behind. Greenberg noticed the falcon on this one’s shoulder.

                        =*=

"Man, I don't see why we have to patrol an empty town with locked houses."

"Because Brandon said so, and he's pissed off enough. Who cares? Gives us a chance to look for some loot. This house isn't sealed, let’s check inside."

Neither man felt the small loops of cloth settle around their neck until they were jerked taut and the found themselves dangling in the air, choking. They danced in the air as their life was choked out of them. Both tried to cut the silken ribbon they were hanging from, but it resisted the edges of sword and dagger. Finally, they stopped moving and the figure clad in black silk lowered them to the ground. A second, smaller figure darted from the shadows and removed their purses and weapons before they faded away. When the killer on the roof landed lightly on the ground the smaller one ran up holding their loot. "Neat! Can we do another patrol?". The larger figure in black shook their head. "Not tonight dear, I promised your father we'd start with just one."

                          =*=

The shepherd heard the call! He listened to Betty's tale of woe, and vowed to help all he could. A short time later, he returned and gave them the terrible news. Before either bereaved parent could run off to seek vengeance, the shepherd stopped them. His words were wise. Ferdinand agreed. It was time to call the Great Herd.

Ferdinand gathered the power of his nearby cows, and called out to them. The shepherd added his own voice to Ferdinand's, freely giving his mana to empower to the huge bull. "Awake! The herd needs you! Come to me!"

When he had gathered all nearby, he called again. His mighty voice echoed across the meadows, calling all to him now. More started coming from miles away.

And then Fearless Leader was there. Their cause was just, and he would aid them in this time of vengeance. Ferdinand called once more and the sound was so mighty that it echoed through the ancient city, down into the caves beneath, and through the dark forests. Ancient things heard the call, and answered with their own.

From the deep forest came Mosshorn, his hide encrusted with roots and poisonous 'shrooms, his one eye gleaming with madness.

Deep in the dark caves, the Palehide heard the call. The great albino bull brought his herd of ghostbeasts to the surface.

And with a snapping of chains, Bloodhoof broke the ancient bonds that held him within the stockyard of Gadobhra. He charged through the ancient protections, fire and lightning burning him briefly before he came to the meadows he had left so long ago.

Under the light of the moon, a conclave was held, and Fearless Leader spoke to them.

"For countless turns of the cycle the people of the sedge have cleansed the land. You have kept the laws of the ancient druids:"

"Be fruitful and multiply."

"Eat of the sedge, that you may cleanse the land."

"Let none leave, lest they carry the ancient dark to other lands."

"Protect the young, for they are pure and must grow to eat and breed."

"Know that your death serves a purpose."

"What happens at the corral, stays at the corral!"

"The Evil Invaders have broken the laws of the Great Druids and taken one of your young. They must be expelled from the land with hoof and horn. How say you, brother and sisters of the sedge?!"

Voices were raised loudly, and then the herd began to move towards Sedgewick.

=*=

"Damn, what the hell has those cows so riled up? Maybe a wolf pack? Sounds like a whole passel of damned souls wailing." MasterTBlaster didn't like cows at all, unless they were on a spit, like the one they'd eaten tonight. It had been pretty good and they were going to do another one up tonight.

DangerRanger gestured with his thumb to where a pitiful figure was sitting on the grass, holding his shoulders and rocking back and forth. "Don't know, but it's sure freaking out old Eddie Briarthorn. That guy hasn't been right in the head lately. Keeps mumbling and moaning in his sleep about some mark.

The nervous druid stood up suddenly, eyes wild, with his hands over his ears. "Oh my god! He's calling! He's calling to me! Run! Run! He'll make you one of his herd. I don't want to have his kids!"

When no one paid much attention to him, Eddie stumbled towards the road to the keep and took off running.

"Yep. That one is wrapped a little too tight. Just let him go."

"Cows must have killed that fox or wolf; they quieted down"

=*=

The Fearless Leader found good paths to the evil doers’ camp. The shepherd showed them the way. Swift vengeance was nice, but no one wanted to break a hoof on stony ground or get horns stuck in a tree. If anyone saw two hundred multi-ton, angry sedge beasts sneaking through pastures and forests, they wisely kept quiet.

The first hint of danger was a low rumbling as the heard started to move. Faster and faster, like an avalanche of bovine flesh, they bore down upon the mercenaries camped in the meadow. People came awake, or shook off their drunken stupors as they saw the cows bearing down on them, but it was too late. Bodies were tossed by horns and sharp teeth severed limbs. Anyone caught in the open was knocked down and trampled by angry hooves.

The herd of vengeance killed the dozen two-leggers in the camp and moved onward, heading to the next campfires. These people were a bit better prepared. They'd heard the screams from the first camp, seen the campfires go out, and heard the thunderous pounding of hooves and loud mooing of angry cattle. Ten fighters formed into a unit, shielding the mages in back. "Give us some light! Toss a few fireballs out that way!"

Pyrotechnics lit the night. It probably would have been better if they hadn't. Not only were they now the main target, they could also see what was coming for them. In the lead were five huge sedge beasts. Each weighed in excess of four tons. An angry red bull sporting a metal collar trailing long chains was significantly bigger than that. The fireballs seemed to have no real effect other than to make them speed up.

Bloodhoof glowed an angry red and raced over the ground first. Palehide moved straight towards the doomed humans, his ghostly form passing through trees and intervening terrain. The ground before Mosshorn smoothed, making a clear path for the green beast from the deep woods.

But most terrible of all were Ferdinand and Betty, who were preceded by a horrific aura of anger and promised death. Standing on the large cows back, and riding her like a surfer rides a wave, was a humanoid form encased in shiny black plates. Long curved blades jutted from his arms, and his unblinking insectoid eyes stared at the mercenaries and guided the herd to where they could do the most damage.

Several of the more survival-minded people fled, not wanting anything to do with the stampede bearing down upon them. The rest braced for impact. Stampede met fighters in plate mail and shield, braced and using special abilities. Most of them must have gotten Ds in physics class. A 3-ton sedge bull moving at full run had more momentum than a motorcar of the 21st century moving at 20 mph. And each one was being pushed by the rest of the herd behind them.

Were these normal sedge beasts, they might have had a chance. But three of the sedge bulls were Tier 2 monsters, Betty was Tier 3, and Bloodhoof, beyond that!

It wasn't a fair fight. But neither was four adventurers vs. one newborn calf.

The sight was horrible as bodies were knocked backwards or trampled underfoot. Betty speared one poor man upon her huge unicorn-like horn and he bounced up and down, screaming as she kept running. Bloodhoof leaped just before he hit the line, his front hooves caving in helmets. Brains and gore went flying. Two injured fighters dangled from Bloodhoof’s chains, somehow entangled in them and being dragged along.

Around and around the town the herd went, looking for things to trample. Any humans from the scattered camps left alive after the first circuit had taken refuge in the town or on roofs. The shepherd could feel the herd tiring. If it slowed, the humans would counter attack. He didn't give them the chance. He guided the herd back to the pastures near Gadobhra. Their work was done.

=*=

Sir Timothy strode up to the entrance to the dungeon and placed his hand on the glowing crystal above the door.

This dungeon is 0% full and in no danger of bursting. This dungeon is unclaimed. You are a leader of the faction controlling the adjacent tavern, do you wish to claim this dungeon and take control of it? You will control access to this dungeon as long as it remains under 95% full. You will be held responsible for a Dungeon Burst if such an event happens.

Do you wish to claim this dungeon? Y/N

This dungeon is currently denoted as: Lair of the Under-Rodent sponsored by Blud Dark!

Do you wish to rename this dungeon? Y/N

Timmy claimed the dungeon, but left the name the same for now. He turned to the two groups he was taking in. "Adventuring time boys, the dungeon is all ours!" This led to cheers and a round of high-fives that turned embarrassing when Timmy awkwardly used his left hand.

They entered the dungeon in high spirits, eager to go kill a few named bosses and score some points. That plan didn't last long.

Joseph looked around nervously. They had appeared on a small ledge overlooking a yawning chasm. A thin bridge about four feet wide spanned the hundred-foot gap. "I hate heights, i really do."

Timmy noticed it was just five of them on the ledge. "This is totally new, and we're split up. What is going on? Since when do dungeons change?"

Hugh scratched his chin. "Maybe having a new dungeon keeper, does it? Did you look at the dungeon controls at all?"

Timmy regretted not doing so. "No, I just wanted to blow off some steam and get some points. I'll look when we get out of here. Let’s see where the bridge goes." He started to move across when Joseph reminded him of their new marching order. "Sorry boss, but remember? You're in the middle now. DPS and healing depending on what's needed. We have a decent tank to handle the front."

Timmy hated the idea but gave in.

This one-armed crap was bull-shit. The whole situation was just bad! Had Suzette really died?! That was horrible. When did he become one of the bad guys? This was supposed to be a glorious crusade with him as the hero and Brandon handling the other details. They'd won! War over and Vern coming to surrender. And then suddenly it all went bad. Brandon bullying Suzette...Suzette collapsing and that horrible message...and then the Butcher enraging and tearing him and Brandon apart with his bare hands!

He needed to do some thinking when he got out, but first he wanted to kill stuff. "Good plan Joey. Let's head out."

Halfway across the bridge, the spiders started dropping. Big furry ones the size basketballs. They slowly descended on webs, landing on the bridge before and behind them. Timmy swatted one out of the air as it dropped on him. "Junior league stuff, guys. Clear as we go. I'll take the rear and keep things clear. Hugh, pick them off as they drop if you can."

Hugh hated spiders. He really hated ones the size of small dogs dropping on him out the darkness. His nervousness might have made him mis-judge what Timmy meant. Then again, he really loved big flashy spells. "Fireball".

The spell crisped dozens of spiders that were in the air and had the added effect of giving them a look at the room. Below them was a drop of thirty feet down to a bone strewed pit with several large rats running around and corpses bound in spider silk. Above was a huge mass of webbing that was burning merrily. Panicked spiders were emerging from the webs. Dozens were the size of basketballs, hundreds more were the size of baseballs, and crispy burning little spiders by the thousands.

A burning mass of sticky webbing fell behind them on the bridge. "Run for it, just run!" Timmy could see the whole nest was going to come down soon. They made it across to the other side, but found no way out. Joey spotted the door in the pit. "Look! There's a door in the pit on the other side under the bridge where we couldn't see it, and some stairs over on the right to get down."

David looked at the pit. "So, the door out is in a pit about to be filled by a huge mass of burning sticky webs and thousands of angry spiders? Good start to this little adventure."

(Timmy's adventures in Spiderland will continue.)

                        =*=

Hours later, Timmy emerged from the dungeon with only three of the people he'd entered with. He was tired, frustrated, and in a bad mood. Brandon was waiting for him and was also in a bad mood. They yelled at each other for an hour, greatly amusing Fearless Leader who watched them from a hidden vantage point.

Tomorrow should be fun!

Morning War Report!

Momco Casualties:

Killed attacking Contract-Workers: 6

Killed while during recreational activities: 2

Killed by provoked intoxicated indigenous residents: 3

Strangled by ribbons: 2

Ambushed by wild animals: 2

Attacked by angry bandits: 3

Killed for breaking the ancient laws of the Druids: 37

Dead in Dungeon: 6

Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon intoxicated indigenous residents.

Penalty: Unprovoked attack upon Contract-Workers x4.

Penalty: Provoking Contract worker to violence x4.

BIG Penalty: Cause a Contract Worker to cry themselves to death.

Penalty: Provoke a Contract Worker to insane levels of violence.

Penalty: Provoke residents to take up arms for ACME x3.

Penalty: Steal and eat newborn child of local resident, thereby breaking ancient druidic law.

Remaining active fighters 60

Leader: Brandon

2nd in Command: Sir Timothy

ACME Casualties

Killed by Momco. scouts: 2

Remaining Active Fighters: 4

Leader: Fearless Leader

Second in Command: Bennie T Bunny

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