The Butcher of Gadobhra

Over large bowls of hearty gopher stew, the new inhabitants of the Barony of Gadobhra discussed what to name their new Hamlet. Sloth Hollow was proposed, but it was quickly pointed out that there weren't any sloths left—the same for Gopherville and Shewburg. Still, most felt that the huge battle needed to be remembered somehow. Ozzyburg was proposed, but the Butcher was too modest to accept such an honor and quickly declined. Finally, someone suggested the name, North Farthing. "After all, this was part of the South Farthing Gopher wars, and we're north of everything else in the empire." The name stuck.

The pub was, of course, dubbed 'The North Farthing Pub.' The building was made of stone with a slate roof, similar to buildings in Sedgewick. It came with a few tables and chairs, a hundred crude clay mugs, and four barrels of beer. The local men were intent on drinking most of it that night. It would go a long way to easing the stress of the last two weeks and the terror of the battle. The women had one or two mugs each and then turned to the critical business of sorting through the wagonload of cookware. There turned out to be more than enough to supply each home with fine copper pots, large cauldrons for the hearth, and cast iron skillets. The extra was stored away for the inevitable expansion of the Hamlet as young couples married and new homes would be needed.

How to spend their points was a subject that took over much of the talk. The older children were asked not to do anything without talking to their parents first, and most agreed. Luckily, children twelve and younger needed the help of their parents to allocate points. Having the most experience with such things, Ozzy and Woodrat were asked endless questions. It turned out that everyone in North Farthing had the Peasant Farmer class. With hard work in a craft, their class could be upgraded to Village Blacksmith,Village Carpenter, and other classes that revolved around craft skills. Knowing that Ozzy spent a lot of time talking about the classes Suzette was giving and the possibility of training people in Sedgewick to take on those roles.

It boiled down to several choices for those who were full-time farming or taking care of the household.

Like Ozzy, they had the options for Abundance and Skilled Provider. Fully half the people dealing with the crops took these skills. An increased grain harvest and the occasional five-hundred-pound pumpkins could transform a lean year into one of plenty. Ozzy cautioned them that it would create more named creatures to show up in their fields. He told them about Root! and some of the treants that had fought in the War of the Oaks. The farmers saw this as a bonus, now that they were allowed to kill the little bosses and score points. There was a risk to it, but after being burned from their homes and harried by bandits to the border of Pinchpenny's lands, being attacked by a giant turnip didn't seem so bad.

The long journey had broken up some of the families. Two of the older woman, Alice, and Irene, were widows without anyone to care for. Gaining five points of STR and knowing how to use a weapon made them eager to do more. The only ranged weapon skills they had available were Sling and Peasant Bow. They took both of those skills, two points of CON, two points of DEX, and a hunting skill called Don't Spook the Ducks. When they made it known that they wanted to learn more fighting skills, Ozzy suggested they head up to the Bunny Barrow. If they could gain some experience there, he promised they could join hunting parties in the Beast Woods and visit the Shrine of the Huntress. He'd also pass on their names to the squirrel hunters. Dot was always looking for people to fill out her party.

Other popular skills were Hardy Animals, Care for the Herds, Sturdy Plants, Scarecrow, and Better Barns for the farms. Some of the abilities of peasant farmers centered on their homes. Healthy Family aided with childbirth, staving off infection and disease, and quicker recovery when someone was hurt. Mistress/Master of the Hearth allowed the head of the household to channel their stamina and mana into their dwelling for small repairs and upkeep. Better Cooking 1, 2, and 3 were popular skills for any family. Being able to turn stones and a turnip into a tasty stew was an old peasant trick that could get a family through a harsh winter. With better food available the cook in the household could produce amazing pies and puddings on holidays. Ozzy was frankly jealous of the skill and wondered how it would work with smoking or grilling.

Four of the older children asked Ozzy about training to be Shepherds. Besides the benefits to the village of protecting their herds, they'd seen what a Shepherd could do to bandits. After hearing their stories, it seemed Rolly had made an impression on them. The Butcher suggested that they take the two skills that dealt with animal husbandry and then wait for Rolly to pay a visit to the village and give them more advice.

Ben has also had his admirers, as usual. Two girls wanted to be Couriers. Ben knew nothing about training a courier other than teaching them how to watch out for ambushes and how to ride a horse. He had them save their points for now. Once all of the families were settled he promised to set up a riding class. McTeeth had mentioned to him that he had a friend who had some horses for sale, cheap. He'd take the Baron's spy up on that offer. Having a group of young people to carry messages around would be helpful, especially if he was going to be making longer trips.

Two lads and a lass kept Woodrat's mug filled while they asked him about training to be a Wood Wright. The Captain tried to explain how hard it was to be on a ship in the smoke and the constant danger of monsters, rain, shipwreck, and the continual fight to keep your smoke and heat full. Ozzy noticed that Woodrat's warnings had the opposite effect on the three of them. He couldn't blame them. If you had two choices, and one was farming, then the life of a sailor on an enchanted ship might look pretty good. And hard work came with either job.

Ozzy took Jonathan aside. One of the children was his daughter Matilda, and they gathered the other two sets of parents to discuss the matter. "It's hard work, as much or more as farming, and they can learn an awful lot. But it's also dangerous. Woodrat and I spent some time shipwrecked before we got our ship, and it was one adventure after another. If they come back, they'll be sailors in addition to woodworkers. They may stay here, or they might decide to head back to the smoke. But, on the other hand, Splinter is one of the best ships ever to sail the Smoke. Captain Woodrat is a good man and a lucky captain; he won't lack people wanting to sail with him once he gets back to the Smoke. And I'll vouch for the rest of the crew."

A few hours after the sun had set, a strange caravan returned to Sedgewick. Three wagons were hitched together to hold the partly dismembered giant sloth. The Hamlet had kept several hundred pounds of meat, but the rest was heading to the smokehouse and the sausage grinder. The ribs were enormous, and Ozzy had ideas of keeping them in two huge chunks and smoking them slowly. He knew Butterbelly was going to be excited. Matilda, Rashid, and Sebastian were perched on the wagons as' lookouts.'

Captain Woodrat had created a 'signing on' ceremony for the three of them and had them sign their names to a contract. As soon as that happened, their class changed to Apprentice Seaman. Woodrat had looked over their options and told them to spend their points on Aspect of Wood, Run the Chains, Heat the Sails, Smooth the Deck, Make Chain, and Apprentice Wood Wright, Lookout, and Rowing. As they rolled up to the smokehouse and Ozzy began unloading what was left of Bucktooth, Woodrat took the three new members of Splinter's crew to meet the rest. Rum was broken out, jigs were danced, and stories of the Great Gopher Hunt were told. It didn't take long for the three teens to be overwhelmed by the situation and the rum. Derrick and Mariah had them tucked into hammocks to sleep off the effect of the rum and get them ready for a long day smoothing the wood of the ship until it glowed.

Ozzy still had doubts about the wisdom of sending three young people to the smoke without all his training. He'd made sure that they packed their clothing and given each of them ten golden shells 'for emergencies.' Joe set his mind to ease. "They aren't going up there to learn to manipulate smoke and heat and cast spells. You had a tougher road to walk and won't have to go through everything you did. Still dangerous, though; they aren't going to have much in the way of smoke and heat. But I do have an idea about that."

He and Ozzy went up to the ship and shared a few rounds of rum. Suzette was ordering barrels of the high-proof alcohol through the Kallveks and sending it to Rowan Keep by teleporter. The crew was drinking it up quickly while they were on holiday. The wily merchant took note and planned to have a hundred barrels in his basement when the ship showed up next, ready to trade for goods from the Smoke. Joe checked the sails he and his brother had made and was satisfied they were holding up well. Not much would hurt the sails that didn't destroy the ship outright. The two cyclones needed to shed much of their power or hide it from the gods. Splinter had been the beneficiary of some of that.

Joe took Ozzy and Woodrat down into the hull, and he held out an arm. "Have to do this with that special sword of yours; not much else will hurt me. Well, maybe those damned axes the Butcher brought back, but he might take off my whole arm instead of making a small cut." Woodrat drew Blackfyre and sliced into the smoke golem's arm. Black smoke, so thick it looked like blood, poured from the wound and down onto the rum barrels stored in the cargo area. The wood soaked it up, the barrels turning black, and the rest spread though out the hull. The wound closed after a few seconds, and Joe breathed heavily like he'd done heavy work. "That will do it. Uses up some of my power and makes sure you'll make the trip back and forth easier."

One of the few surviving Smokejammers to travel the planes, the Auric hulled Splinter is blessed by the great Cyclones of the Smoke. So much smoke has been put into her the wood of her hull that even her rum barrels carry a powerful enchantment.

The crew of the Splinter will gain a bonus of +1000 Smoke, +1000 Heat, and +1000 Fuel as long as they get their daily grog. This enchantment will slowly fade away without sampling some of the ship's magical rum. The rum will lose its magic if removed from the ship.

The crew saw the announcement and took it as an excuse to open another barrel of booze. Woodrat spoke softly to Joe. "I thank you for that. It will make my soft-hearted friend quit worrying about a few guppies running away to join a ship. It makes me worry a bit less as well. I feel my ship, and I owe you something for that."

Joe thought about it. It had been a princely gift. "Tell you what, cause some trouble up there for me. The gods and the Queens get too complacent about their place in the world. Jack does his best to give them problems, but he's only one person. Shake things up some now and then cause some trouble, and we'll call it even."

Woodrat grinned and shook the smoke golem's hand. "Count on it. I'm not sure I could avoid trouble if I tried."

The rum drinking was interrupted as someone leaped from the smokehouse to the ship's rigging before landing on the deck and bowing. "Apologies for breaking up your drinking, Captains, but we have a problem with an infestation of imperial bureaucrats. The baron and the mayor have concocted dastardly and clever plans that require the help of three brave and dashing Captains from the Smoke. I will replace you here on this fine ship and make sure that your share of the grog gets drunk."

Ozzy eyed Ben warily. Mixing his friend with rum and pirates could end badly. "What do they need from us? And I want your word that you won't try to fly off with the ship."

Ben looked slightly disappointed because he had been wondering how he would accomplish just that. "I'll promise as long as I get to go sailing before she leaves for the sky. She's too pretty not to get a taste of her." He looked appreciatively around the ship. "As to your part in this plan, the mayor asks that you put on your fanciest pirate gear and go have dinner, the Baron's compliments."

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