The Butcher of Gadobhra

Ozzy explained how gopher hunting worked. "I'm going to thump my hammer on the ground hard, and it will drive out all the critters living underneath. Most normal gophers won't survive, but there's a chance of having a bigger one down there. Those will be higher level and might even have a name. You have to be careful of them. Just run away and come towards me or one of the other workers. If we can catch them, one of us will pin them down and let some of you hit at them to gain experience and points. We brought along a few dozen extra adzes in one of the wagons. Everyone should grab one. You can keep them and use them on the farms, but today, they are the weapon of choice for hunting Named critters."

The blacksmiths had been forging adze for months, ever since the skill was found usable by anyone. Over time, the workers had upgraded from iron or steel weapons to magical Adze from chests or better weapons forged from Dark Steel and Ironwood. Ozzy had loaded over a hundred of the old tools in a wagon and began passing them out to everyone. They were one of the oldest tools humanity had used. They could strip bark, shape wood, and hoe weeds, and while not a great weapon, they were better than nothing. They were the worst weapon anyone had seen at 10% to hit and ten damage. But dozens of contract workers were at level 5 in the skill with enhanced STR, and everyone was required now to gain at least rank 5 and 5 STR. In their hands, the adze was a deadly weapon.

Gophers around Sedgewick were a hearty breed, weighing nearly two pounds. Many gardens had fallen to their appetites. Ozzy had spent some time before his vacation in the Smoke, clearing them out from farm to farm. It wasn't a permanent solution, but it saved many carrots from being eaten by hungry rodents. Makken was the only farmer without a gopher problem. When Ozzy volunteered to clean the ground around his farm, the dwarf just laughed. "There isn't a burrowing critter alive that can eat my peppers and live. But if I ever find one, I'll knock it in the head and turn it into a pet. So keep a lookout for me."

Taking the Hammer of Gopher Thumping, and headed to the center of one of the acres set aside for farmland. It was a ferocious-looking hammer. The oak head was a foot in diameter and two feet long, had steel on both ends and a thick handle. If a god ever wanted to play croquet, the mallets would look like this. A square acre is about 200 feet on a side. The hammer had a 100' radius when 'thumped' on the ground. He planned to move through the area, clearing out the rodents and overlapping his hits to get good coverage. He could use the hammer once a minute, but it took longer than that to clear the surviving creatures, especially if he got a rare named boss. He slammed the hammer on the ground and saw the ripples move away from him. They kept moving, even after they hit the 100-foot mark. The farmers and workers were standing past that mark, and most were knocked over.

The Legendary Hammer of Gopher Thumping is thrilled to be used by a mighty warrior that hasn't neglected his gathering skills.

-Radius of effect is doubled to 200' by Abundance 5.

-Chance of a Named creature is significantly increased by Skilled Provider 3.

Quest: The South Farthing Gopher Wars never ended; they just moved to other gardens. Stop the invasion of Gophers in your lands.

Success: Increased yield of crops in all 'Thumped' lands around the new hamlet.

Failure: No carrots for you! Rampaging gopher hordes will eat anything you plant for the next two seasons before moving on to a nearby village.

"Shit! Seth, grab a couple of people and guard the kids. The rest of you, pair up. One worker and one farmer as a team. Watch each other's backs."

Ozzy stayed where he was, hoping that most of the critters headed for him, but having no idea what to expect.

The earth expelled dozens of dead gophers, moles, shrews, groundhogs, voles, and a lost Norway rat. Amidst the carnage were three hardier specimens.

Verminous Vole, leader of the Pack. Level 4 Named Boss. (summons, nasty teeth.)

Grue, Patchwork Gopher, a monster of science, Level 5 Named Construct. (Undead, Immune to Storm)

Goateater, Carnivorous Rodent, Level 4 Named Boss. (meat-eater, triple damage vs. herbivores)

The Vole saw Ozzy, gave out a loud shriek, and a dozen more large voles appeared around it, all level 2 monsters. Ozzy looked at it and sneered. "You need a dentist, and your mother was a half-ling," Verminous screamed at the insult and charged with his pack at Ozzy. The other two creatures charged the farmers. As they neared the Butcher, he unleashed Butcher's Breath, frying the low-health voles and singing the boss. Verminous paused to summon more troops, but Ozzy strode forward and wrapped a large hand around its muzzle. The vole tried to bite him, but his rotten teeth broke on the Butcher's tough skin. With one hand keeping the monster's mouth shut and the other holding its back legs, Ozzy carried it to where the fight was going.

Goateater was quickly overwhelmed by three workers who were anything but herbivores and immune to its extra damage. They took a few hard kicks and headbutts but eventually pinned it down. Grue, the undead construct, was terrifying in its ugliness but slow. Jon and Cham controlled its movements with tough roots while two workers poked it in the snout to keep its attention. One by one, the farmers and older children came over and whacked at its undead hindquarters until it quit moving. Goateater and Verminous were dealt with the same way. As the last named was killed, everyone got a notice.

Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in your lands!

-1 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.

3 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared

14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest

37 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest

3 hours until the sun sets, and you fail the quest

Jonathan and everyone else were reading the quest. Half of the people looked at Jonathan, and half at Ozzy. Ozzy started walking to the next acre. Jonathon grabbed two friends he knew wouldn't argue. "Go get everyone. Women and children, even the elders. Give each person one of the tools and bring them as fast as possible. We can't fail this quest."

They ran for the village, and a steady stream of people came out, some excited and many worried. A few babes were in sacks on their mother's backs. The workers organized a defensive line with the weakest people in the rear well past the 200-foot line. Clustered in front were the older men and children, protected by the workers. Ozzy waited for them to be ready before bringing his hammer down again.

Only one creature was standing this time, but he was an impressive specimen of gopher-dom.

A Veteran Hero of the War has joined the Fray!

-Your Skilled Provider ability has helped get the attention of a mighty hero. Too bad he's on the other side.

Gristlefang GopherHero, Level 9 Elite Boss (Extra Health 5, Improved Constitution, Fast Feet, Rending Bite, Whirling Tail) Health 2000/2000

Kill the Gopherhero to gain credit for killing 6 Named Bosses!

The veteran of a hundred battles looked at Ozzie, looked at the horde of humans at the edge of the field of his dead brethren, and charged at the herd of humans. A dozen crunchy deaths and Gristlefang could advance to level 10. He cursed his laziness for not grinding out the last level in Tier 2. The Butcher chased after him but didn't have anything that could keep up with Fast Feets. The thousand-pound Gopher Hero bore down on the thin line of contract workers. A line of human knights could have taken the charge using their Stand Fast, or Here I stand! Skills. Contract workers only had their strength and willingness to stand in the way of the monster.

As Gristlefang lowered his head, three adzes chopped into his sturdy hide, chipping away at his health. He returned their attacks by biting Seth's kneecap and removing his leg. Sara and Hans were knocked to the side as the Gopher broke the line. Seth collapsed with his leg fountaining blood. Gristlefang prepared his Whirling Tail attack. Once he pushed into the crowd of soft targets, he planned to spin and kill as many as possible. What he wasn't prepared for was Captain Woodrat, and a howling sword called Dreadfyre. The sword hadn't killed anything in days and was hungry. Woodrat slashed across Gristelfang's face, taking out an eye, then stepped past the giant rodent, pivoted, and swung at the base of the armored tail. Woodrat had seen far too many Bilge Rats use the Whirling Tail attack before and knew how deadly it could be. His sword cut through the tail, pruning the Gopher and depriving it of easy kills.

The beast was stunned by the pain and the unexpected loss of its best attack. Woodrat danced around it, taunting it and giving the farmers time to move. Several workers landed heavy blows on the creature. "Can't catch a little Captain, can you? You're just like every rat I've ever fought, no staying power." Woodrat smiled at Gristfang, and the Gopher lunged at him, only to be stopped short as a thick black chain wrapped around its hind legs, dragging it out of the fray.

"Get over here!" As Woodrat kept Gristlefang's attention, Ozzy used his enchanted chain and greatly enhanced Chain Drag skill to pull the GopherHero back from the fight. Gristlefang spun and lunged at the Butcher, biting deep into his shoulder in an attempt to use his Rending Bite to tear off Ozzy's arm. The Butcher was too tough. His mitigation and Armored Apron reduced the bit to only a couple hundred damage. He was bleeding, but it was a minor wound. His other arm wrapped around the Gopher's neck, and he flipped the creature to the group like a small sedge beast. Back legs wrapped in chains, on its back, and a large Butcher forcing his weight into its chest, the creature was pinned. It tried to chew on Ozzy's shoulder but could get no leverage. Woodrat was there to help, hamstringing the beast and making forcing his sword into its jaws to make it release Ozzy. Within a minute, Gristlefang was hogtied and on his back, unable to move.

Ozzy stood up, making sure the Boss couldn't escape. "Line it up, folks. I want every person who can hold a weapon to take a poke at this critter." The farmers lined up first, hitting Gristlefang in tender spots where they could do some damage. When one old woman was too weak to cause harm, the Butcher took her arm and helped her swing. She grinned at him as she stepped back. "Bless you, son; I always wanted to be a warrior when I was a little girl. You stop back by tomorrow, and I'll have a hot apple pie for you."

After that, he helped everyone who needed it, including a two-year-old who was excited about 'wacking the monster' and a babe only six months old who needed both his mother and Ozzy working together to help her make the swing.

After that, all the contract workers stepped forward and did damage, followed by woodrat finishing the beast.

Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in your lands!

2 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.

9 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared

14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest

101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest

2 Hours and 27 minutes until the sun sets, and you fail the quest

"Let's get moving, folks. Same formation, but let's put women with children or anyone who can't run fast further back and put five of the workers and Captain Woodrat as a skirmish line inside the border. We have to move fast and clear the Named critters each time."

The following eight acres were cleared, with only two more worker casualties and some injuries to the farmers.

Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in your lands!

-9 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.

29 of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared

14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest

101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest

0 Hours 23 minutes until the sun sets and you fail the quest

"We're almost done, folks. Just one more acre, and according to the quest update, only two Named Bosses. Let's finish things and go have dinner." Everyone agreed with dinner. The day had started with a lot of work, and then the quest had popped up. Most of the workers were low on stamina, and the farmers were exhausted and shaking. Ozzy had a little over 4000 health and mana left, and 12000 stamina. His shoulder was a little sore, but it didn't slow him down. He strode forward and slammed the Hammer down on the ground. And nothing happened except a slight tremble in the earth.

This isn't my fault! You're the one who took an increased chance of getting a bigger boss! I thought the last round would be two level 3 Gerbils!...#BlametheButcher...

Quest Update: An ancient predator has been roused from its slumber! Long ago, when herds of megatherium roamed these lands, the mightiest of them all was Ur-Sloth Bucktooth. Too powerful for the ancient tribes to fight, they placed baskets of poisoned berries by his den. They only made him very sleepy. He retired to his tunnels beneath the land, and no handsome prince woke him...until now.

Ur-Sloth Bucktooth, Level 13 Monstrous Megatherium. (Massive health, Slow but Dangerous over Short Distances, Burrowing, Dah Duh...Dah Duh...Dah Duh, Massive Regeneration)

Woodrat looked, read the message, and cursed. "Another fine mess you've gotten me into, Mr. Ozzy!"

Ozzy yelled back at him as he looked around for the boss. "I just wanted to make extra sausage. No one told me about bonus gopher bosses!"

From all around, deep, slow sounds were heard...Dah Duh...Dah Duh...Ozzy recognized the tune and started running in circles, making it more challenging for the creature to get under him. It almost worked. He simply hadn't known how big an Ur-Sloth was, or he'd have made his circle bigger. Bucktooth was double the size of an elephant. It erupted from the ground below Ozzy, its large teeth missing his leg but one claw scraping across the Butcher's chest.

Bucktooth claws you for 400 damage. Your Hull of and Armored Apron negate 300 points of damage. You have taken 100 points of damage and are knocked down.

All in all, Ozzy felt that it could have gone much worse. He rolled away from the slowly moving monster that had erupted from its burrow. Bucktooth looked like a typical sloth, only a thousand times bigger. It had to weigh in at several tons. It turned its head to look at him, and a long tongue darted out a few feet, testing the air for scents, then turned and ignored the Butcher, heading toward the heard of small tasty things that it saw. Ozzy took advantage of the creature ignoring him to run up and strike at its hindquarters.

You have struck Bucktooth the Ur-Sloth twice.

Heavy Flensing Hatchet base damage = 200

Bonus for STR of 36 = 180

Bonus for perk: Powerful =20

Bonus for Increased Weapon Damage =10

Total Damage = 410

Bucktooth's hide negates 100 damage. Total damage = 610 Bucktooth's Health: 99,390/100,000

Ozzy swore, using every curse that he had learned in the smoke. The thing had insane health. It would take a lot of hacking to work through it, and they only had half an hour left to finish the quest. "It's slow but hits for 400, so be careful. It also has a shit-ton of health. We need to start whittling it down. Farmers keep away from it. Everyone else needs to do as much damage as they can. Woodrat and I will do what we can to get its attention, but we need to keep moving. Hit and run, and don't let it hit you."

Instead of turning toward him, the Ur-Sloth started picking up speed as it headed toward the farmers. The wounds that his flensing hatchet had done had stopped bleeding and were healing over. Ozzy saw its health tick upwards to 99,600, then 99,800 before showing the creature was completely healed. He swore again.

"And it regenerates!"

Could they do a hundred thousand points of damage? They needed every bit of help they could get. As Bucktooth wandered away from him, Ozzy cursed the sloth to take an extra 10 points of damage from slashing attacks. He'd have to refresh the cantrip every minute, but between his axes and all the workers using an adze, a lot of slashing would occur. His next spell was more difficult but felt appropriate.

"You want to play shark with me? Here's how a Butcher plays shark". Smoke and fire rolled off of Ozzy and became a great white shark. It raced after the Ur-sloth and began chewing on a back leg, taking out chunks of meat.

You have sent your bound spirit to attack Bucktooth. Jaws of the Void does 200 points of damage +10 (increased weapon damage)+10(curse) =220 damage per round.

Void Damage negates Bucktooth's mitigation. Bucktooth regenerates for 200 health. Current Health: 99,980/100,000

Releasing the creature cost Ozzy some heat and mana, but it would negate the constant regeneration until he turned on his smoke creation. Ozzy moved in and started slashing at Bucktooth's exposed flank with his flensing hatchets. Woodrat ran forward, darting in and out, slashing at Bucktooth's head when he could but mostly dodging the large, slow claws. The other workers moved in and began hitting the sloth.

Slow was a relative term. The Ur-Sloth was sleeping and just waking up. As the little gnats around him began to sting, he got cranky. He turned suddenly and swiped at Ozzy, sending the Butcher tumbling and doing another 100 points of health damage. Two of the workers took heavy hits from the thick tail. It hit like a battering ram, breaking ribs and half-killing them. The creature was so large that any contact with it would hurt. Ozzy had been knocked thirty feet away by the blow. As he started to get up, Bucktooth raced across the short distance to him and pounced. It was the same attack it had used to kill wooly rhinoceros and mammoths when it lay in the muddy spot near a watering hole and waited for its prey. The sudden attack would take the creatures by surprise and allow Bucktooth to wound them at the start of the fight.

Ozzy found himself pinned to the ground by the giant claws and lifted up to where the sloth's huge teeth could grind him. His arms were pinned, and the Ur-sloth was stronger than he was. He unleashed Butcher's Breath and hoped that Bucktooth was flammable.

Butcher's Breath

Base Damage: 150 plus 5xRAD = 300 damage

Mana Cost: 300 -40% (Aspect of Heat rank 8) =180.

You may increase the damage by +300 points for an additional 360 mana.

The fire in your belly needs to get out! Flames burst from your mouth in a cone with a 45-degree arc and 30' length. Anyone within the area must attempt to avoid or block the fire. A successful save will mean the target takes half damage.

Ozzy doubled the damage and breathed into the sloth's open mouth only a foot away from him. All the flames that could cover 700 square feet of area raced into Bucktooth's mouth and down his throat. Bucktooth suddenly lost interest in this food and slammed it to the ground hard, the creature's pain and rage doing almost 1000 points of damage to Ozzy. Bucktooth turned around, looking for water, or a muddy wallow, anything cool itself off.

Butcher's Breath has critically struck Bucktooth for 1200 points of un-resisted heat damage. The flames have done Severe internal damage for a further 4800 points.

-Bucktooth is enraged.

-Bucktooth has lost the ability to regenerate damage.

Current Health 88,174/100,000

Ozzy sat up, trying to clear his head. Woodrat gave him a distraction by throwing a bottle of rum at Bucktooth's face. The bottle broke and covered the sloth's head in flaming rum. Woodrat turned and ran as quickly as he could, the enraged Ur-Sloth chasing him. Bucktooth quickly slowed down, unable to breathe right with his insides burnt to a crisp. Ozzy laughed and then realized they were running out of time. They needed some way to pin the sloth in place and hack away at it.

As Woodrat circled back around, Ozzy summoned his Trammelian chain, half as long and twice as thick. As Bucktooth moved past him, chasing Woodrat at a slow pace, Ozzy threw the chain and snared its tail, the chain wrapping around and around its midpoint, the meat hook on the end digging deep. The Ur-sloth came to an abrupt halt, and the pain made it turn to look at Ozzy. Bucktooth moved to attack, and Ozzy breathed fire at its face. The pain was intense, and the sloth turned away from the fire in an attempt to move away from the Butcher.

"Now, everyone inn. Boost your strength and lay into him—no time to play it safe. The remaining contract workers attacked Bucktooth's flanks with their weapons. It continued to try and run. When it turned left, Woodrat slashed at the face with his flaming sword, leaving long slashes. If it turned right, Ozzy breathed fire at it. Bucktooth was blind now, his tongue charred. With no sense of smell or sight, he tried to escape the fire, and lashed out blindly at the workers attacking him. Ozzy kept him in place as much as he could. The sloth's health was ticking down, but so was the time.

He renewed both his curse and his Shark. The smoke creature had been chewing away on the same spot for several minutes now. Ozzy used the 30 CSP he'd earned for returning from the Smoke and bought two more levels of increased weapon damage. His damage to his axes increased by +50. Curse added another +10, taking him to 470 points of damage. Taking a deep breath, he used the new version of Push Onward that he had gained in Tier 3. He spent a total of 6000 stamina and boosted his STR by +15 and his damage by +75. His axes would now hit for 545 damage each.

He released the Trammelian Chain and leaped onto Bucktooth's back. His shark had made a large, open wound on the Sloth's back. Ozzy brought down his axes at that spot repeatedly, getting in four attacks and chipping away at the monster's spine. Bucktooth reared in pain, knocking him off and spinning around to find the source of the pain. The Ur-sloth loomed over Ozzy, most of the workers knocked down by its sudden turns. Woodrat took the opening and leaped high, stabbing with his sword into the same wound Ozzy had made. Dreadfyre bit deep into the creature, and Woodrat hung off its back, swinging back and forth to increase the damage. There was a sudden snap, and Bucktooth's spine parted, paralyzing it from the neck down. The sloth fell on Ozzy, nearly killing him with its weight. Pushing off a ten-ton sack of meat wasn't easy, but he managed to crawl out.

Anyone left alive began attacking what was left of the creature. Ozzy cut a huge chunk off its hide so the farmers could wound it and then began to mechanically chop at the animal, dealing it blow after blow. He was so low on stamina that he was burning what was left of his health. But chopping meat is what Butchers do.

Quest update: Stop the invasion of Gophers in your lands!

10 of 10 Acres cleared of invading gophers.

31+ of 31 (10d6) Named Bosses Cleared

14 of 14 Contract Workers have aided in this quest. 6 Contract Workers have survived.

101 of 101 Farmers have aided in this quest. 101 Farmers have survived.

You have succeeded in your quest with 2 minutes left until nightfall.

This chapter of the Great War is over. The gopher armies retreat, heading south.

The Hamlet of ?? (You need to name this place.) has earned 100 acres of gopher-free land with a +50% crop yield.

All Farmers who participated in the quest have earned 1000 experience in Skill: Adze and 1000 experience in STR, along with 15 CSP.

All Contract Workers who participated in the quest have earned 1000 experience in Skill: Adze and 1000 experience in STR, along with 10 CSP.

Captain Woodrat has gained +1 Aura and 10 CSP.

Ozzy, the Butcher of Sedgewick, has gained popularity with all farmers who hear of this battle, along with 1000 experience in Skill: Flensing Hatchet, 1000 experience in STR, and 10 CSP.

All participants have decreased popularity with gophers and other burrowing animals, and your names have been added to the Veterans of the South Farthing Gopher Wars list.

Bonus Objectives achieved:

1) Tier 3 Elite Boss: Gristlefang Killed. Reward: Wagonload of copper and cast-iron cooking gear.

2) Tier 3 Monstrous Boss: Bucktooth killed. Reward: +1 Storage Building, filled with 100 sacks of flour.

3) No farmers were killed in this battle, but a few will have large scars they can brag about at the local pub.

Reward: Local Pub to brag and say, "I was there!"

A large building suitable for drinking and dancing now occupies the end of the hamlet, displacing the storage buildings.

Storage buildings are now in the large basement of the Pub.

Woodrat sat next to Ozzy in the dirt and leaned back against the carcass of Bucktooth. From somewhere, he produced a bottle of alcohol, took and swig, and passed it to the Butcher. Ozzy drank a third of the bottle of terrible rum, letting it burn down into his stomach where what little he had left of heat ignited it.

"Damn, but that was not a fight I expected today."

Woodrat laughed. "I don't remember our fights in the Smoke coming with much warning, either. Nice to see the conjunction isn't as boring as you made it out to be.

But I'm going to look at the bright side of things. I'm a Captain of the Seven, my place is in that pub drinking with these new heroes. You get to start butchering a giant sloth before the meat goes bad."

Ozzy sighed. "At least leave the rest of the bottle, then."

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