The Butcher of Gadobhra

"All right. I promise to wait and do my points after we talk. I've been trying really hard not to spend them, but you guys know once I look at a chart, I just toss the points in and have fun." Suzette was slowly working her way through a bottle of wine, while sitting on the floor and leaning back against Ozzy.

Ozzy found that wine didn't have much kick anymore and was slowly sipping something Makken called 'Baby Dragon's Breath.' He claimed they fed it to youngsters of their clan who hadn't yet grown a beard yet. It was sweet, with cinnamon and peppermint, but burned all the way down your throat, and seemed to sort of pool inside you, building heat.

"We applaud your patience. Ben and Rolly said they had some ideas and I really wanted all of us to discuss things a bit."

Ben looked at Rolly, who urged him to go first, "I've been thinking about it and talking to people as I travel. The bulk of people in the world don't get through tier 2 in their lifetimes - just a matter of perspective. It's easier to slowly gain experience in your trade or profession than to constantly be pressing your luck like players do. But there are quite a few people in the larger towns that go past that."

"The Legion has an especially large number of middle-tier professional soldiers. A lot of the info I got is from retired Legionnaires. The most important thing they stressed was that the first 3 tiers were where you created the base for the higher tiers. No one suddenly decides to learn magic at tier 5, or change from a farmer to a soldier. They don't have the skills to support the change."

"We can see some of that in going from Tier 1 to Tier 2. I didn't have skills for STR or CON, so I essentially lost the chance to pick up 10 points in each STAT. I can start now in Tier 2, but I'll never catch up with Ozzy unless he slacks off on all the skills that give him those stats. I'm not saying you should max all your stats; I'm not even sure it's possible. But Tier 1 is done with - we can't go back and grab those increases. So maybe we need to look at Tier 2 very carefully."

Suzette thought about that and said, "Ok, I'm looking at some lovely ways to spend my points in Tier 2. But what do you mean by 'look carefully'?"

"This might sound strange, but I suggest you look at what you don't have - your weak points -then think about ways to increase those." Ben brought up his own sheet, "See how I have all my skills bunched around certain stats? Maybe I need to use the prodigy skill to pick up something that makes me earn STR or CON - and make sure I have a way to grind that skill. If I don't grab the points now, I might end up a very agile weakling down the line."

Ozzy stroked his chin, "I'm lacking in AGI totally. A little DEX from toolmaking and INT from fire resistance. No clue though how to get WIS, PER, or AGI."

"It doesn't have to be a skill you want to take far," Rolly was putting some numbers on a slate. "Look how little you need to get your skill or stat up to level 3. Three points isn't much, but a lot better at 0. And we can use some CSP on stats as well."

"Think about it Suzy. With 3 points in STR added to our hauling abilities you could be hoisting kegs of beer on your own. And that much STR could be handy adventuring."

Suzette wasn't convinced, "I don't really want a lot of muscles though. I have Ozzy for moving stuff. And I really want to focus on other stats and score more bonuses at the end of Tier 2. Why waste points?"

Ben nodded, "A valid counter-point. A compromise might be to find more skills that can gain us those stats without spending CSP. We should experiment more."

"I learned Bulldogging this morning; one of the reasons I'm drinking tonight - so many bruises." Ozzy went on to explain his fun and games with cows.

Rolly was especially thrilled, "I've got to try that. Sounds awesome. And I’ll bet the sedge beasts could use a coach. Is sedge beast coaching a skill? Have to experiment." Suzette and Ben looked a bit less excited about the skill but said they'd at least try it.

Suzette changed the subject, "We need to think about businesses and money too. We've gotten lucky with dungeoning and a few dirty tricks during the war. I have my tavern now, but I think it's a missed opportunity to not start something up with empty buildings in Sedgewick.

Ben spoke on that, "I've been thinking of expanding the stable attached to the little one for Courier mounts. If I can find someone to work for me, I could set up a livery stable to board horses, provide remounts, and sell tack and saddles. Those are the few bits of leather working I'm really good at."

"Building you a better barn should be easy. We can talk to a bunch of the guys and I'll bribe them all with beer while we work on the job." Suzette had found that if you supply a contract worker with beer and food in their off hours, the work got done at an amazing pace. She elbowed Ozzy, "And what about you? Any schemes?"

"Well, I have a part time job for a couple of days a year. And Makken mentioned some scheme about opening a restaurant of some kind." Ozzy had only had a few minutes to talk to the dwarf, who had been hanging around town lately, and taking long walks in the countryside. "He wants to buy a building and some land from Billy. I told him now was the time."

"Squirmie and I have some ideas. He wants them to be a surprise though," Rolly was looking longingly at the bowl of peanuts near Ozzie. He'd already eaten both his and Ben's shares and Suzette had forbidden his having more.

Ozzy pulled out a letter with several sheets of parchment inside, "On to bigger and better things. I got a letter from Elgebert. Here's what he thinks the items I got are. I'm going to grab the gauntlets. I lost my ring of acid resistance, and they make a good replacement. You guys should all pick something out."

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Dear Sir,

Let me express again my delight in acting as your attorney for your battle in court against the Fallen Angel, Leroy. It was a unique experience that granted unique EP. My wives send their thanks.

I have compiled a summary of details about each of the items you recently obtained. I am fairly certain of the information, as it comes from research in the Imperial Library and the services of a Tier 5 Sage specialized in Legendary Items.

Your faithful servant,

Elgebert Coppertwist, attorney.

Hammer of Gopher Thumping (Legendary)

Created by an unknown smith during the South Farthing Gopher Wars. This enchanted Warhammer will do double damage to gophers and once a minute may be ‘thumped’ upon the ground, which forces any rodent within 100’ of the wielder to appear above ground and take 100 crushing damage.

Chariot of Mulfistucles (Legendary): Missing one Wheel

A historical tale mentions the hero called Mulfistucles and his flying chariot pulled by 3 summoned, elemental windsteeds. The story also tells of his lack of care for his chariot, and neglect of proper axel grease which led to a broken wheel and a quick fall from the sky to his doom.

Vorpal Plowsword +3 (Legendary)

At one time, this legendary sword could slay armies with a swing, and brought about a time of great peace in the empire. The hero, Cathbert, retired and vowed to have it reforged into a plow. While it still looks like a sword, it is indeed a plow. Thrice per day it will till the soil, weed, and fertilize the ground. Unfortunately, it drains the stamina needed to do the job the hard way. Each acre turned into cropland this way drains 250 stamina from the user. Cathbert did his whole farm in a day. Other people struggle to get 40 acres done in a month.

Golden Goose of Egglaying (Legendary)

This miniature statue of a golden goose will enlarge to full size, at which point the goose will lay clutches of a dozen eggs each hour, after being given a handful of corn. While the goose retains its golden color, nothing about the eggs is out of the ordinary.

Ring of the Ducklord (Legendary)

The wearer of this ring may communicate with water fowl of all types and many other avians, as Duckish is a popular language. Swimming and diving in the wearers normal form is enhanced and limited flight is available via transformation.

Inflatable Yacht (Legendary)

When placed upon water, this small toy boat will expand to an inflated, 100’ length boat, suitable for entertaining and parties. It has no sails, and takes a day to deflate and roll up, at which point it turns back into a toy boat.

Evercheese, 5 lb wheel: Cheddar. (Legendary)

Delicious aged cheddar cheese. Each slice taken from the cheese makes it more difficult to take the next. The 12th slice of cheese is indestructible, and will reform into a full 5 lb cheese overnight.

Gauntlets of Gauderang the Vile (Legendary)

Gauderang was a greenish dragon that terrorized a large area of the north several centuries ago. When slain, his body was used to construct many enchanted items. This pair of heavy gauntlets are made of scales and sinew taken from the great beast. When worn, they will protect the hands and forearms with protection equal to heavy dragonhide. The wearer has +50 mitigation vs. acidic attacks, and any damage taken after mitigation is halved. NOTE: As with all draconic items, side effects may occur due to the strength of draconic souls.

Lady Mourninglade's hair sticks. (Legendary)

These enchanted hair sticksseem quite ordinaryand will keepa lady’s hair in place, no matter how a battle or storm rages.

Note: Possibly a famous noble? Or perhaps perfect hair was a huge social asset in their culture. Like the Evercheese, not every Legendary item is powerful.

Shoes of the Traveling Oatburner (Legendary)

These horse shoes will grant a steed double its normal speed, but will require it to eat four times as much to sustain itself.

Mirror of Harsh Truths (Legendary)

This mirror told me that the problem with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don’t find them funny, and no one else thinks they are jokes. I was not amused. I suggest breaking it with a hammer.

Dragon's Blood: 3 vials

Used in enchanting and alchemy. Unknown type of dragon

Hoffa

The embalmed body of a missing person of some renown. I suggest a burial and an unmarked tombstone.

Pin-Striped Suit (burnt): 1

Pin-Striped Suit (clean): 6

Angel Wing Feathers x 217

Normally a rare alchemical item. Be careful not to flood the market.

Angel Wings: freshly plucked x3

Roasted Peanuts: 1.1 tons

Ordinary, if tasty.

Cask of Dwarven Whiskey: Empty

Cask of Old Rotgut '57: Full

A potent dwarven liquor, noted for its secondary use as a potent cleaning solution

Angel feather pillow, worn.

Untested. The Sage said it gave him nightmares just thinking about using it for sleep.

Whupass, 1 can.

Contains 1 Whupass. If let free, this enchanted donkey will kick the snot out of everyone in a large area and not quit until all adversaries lay broken, bruised, and in need of emergency dental care.

Large quart crockery jar of Bad Jam, sealed. (Legendary)

DON’T OPEN!!! Prized by trolls everywhere, the effects of this jam upon anyone else can be horrifying.

Let me again caution you about the Halo and Sword. No mortal should claim these unless they want to spend the rest of forever fighting for one side or another.

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Ozzy dumped a large pile of items out of the bag, then gingerly used fire tongs to put the cloth wrapped halo and sword back in the bag, along with the heavily wrapped, man-shaped bundle.

"Magical horse shoes? Mudhead would love an upgrade. The peanuts would be good to give Suzette for the bar," Ben was copying notes into one of his journals.

Suzette looked at the items, "I'll take the hair sticks."

Lady Mourninglade's hair sticks. (Legendary)

These enchanted hair sticks These manticore tooth daggers seem quite ordinary are disguised as hair sticks, and will keep a lady’s hair in place, no matter how a battle or storm rages. will penetrate most armors easily, delivering a deadly, poisonous bite.

Ozzy looked at her, "That's it? Grab a magic item. Not that I don't think you look cute with your hair done up."

"Fine, I'll grab the Golden Goose. Can't have too many eggs. And the cheese would be nice. Unless Rolly wants it?"

Rolly shook his head, "Nope, I have ham. Who needs cheese if you have ham? But I want the Ring of the Ducklord. And I need a pinstriped suit."

Ozzy was handing out the items from the heavy bag, "Take them all if you like them Rolly. Anyone have ideas on what to do with the rest?"

Ben finished his notetaking and looked up, "I think the Hammer and Sword should be kept to help with farming. Maybe give the dragon's blood and angel feather to Aliester? He can show Suzette what they are used for and the two of them can make horrible potions. I say we take the gnome’s advice and go bury the Hoffa before someone comes looking. Give the Rotgut to Jon and Cham? They love anything alcoholic. The Bad Jam, Mirror, and Pillow we should put in a room and lock the door. I'd say give the yacht and chariot to Layla to sell on commission?

Nods all around and a refresh of drinks signaled the end of the loot fest.

Ben started up the last topic of discussion, "We talked about spending points wisely. We all know our weaknesses and we can set aside points for those, or do whatever we like. We're all adults. Any other suggestions?"

There was silence for a moment before Rolly said, "utility", and Ozzy said, "resistances." Ozzy waved Rolly to go first. "Power is great, but look for the odd things. Moving through the town during the war by jumping roof to roof was great. No one looks up at dark roofs at night. Night vision, magic vision, holding your breath...all great stuff. What else can we dig up?"

Ozzy tapped on the gauntlets next to him, "Being able to ignore small attacks is helpful. You've seen me survive when I shouldn't. We can all go work on poison resist when we need to. If you get a chance to take any other resists, I strongly suggest you take them. I think in the long run they make a big difference."

Ozzy paused, then smiled broadly, "And watching player-killers learn that their big attack is a dud is priceless. The players don't have nearly the power of the bosses, but there will be a lot of them, and some people are always going to be lurking around causing trouble."

"A good reason to look for skills that use PER. They can negate a lot of surprise attack" Ben had been able to ride around a few ambushes he had spotted. He was always on edge now when traveling. Of course, no one was going to expect a horse going quite as fast as Mudhead with enchanted shoes.

Squirmie flapped down from where he had been perched on a rafter and sat on Rolly's head. He made an oddly human sounding sigh. Rolly reached up to pet his bug, "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Squirmie reminded me that I got a new skill today.

Ben, looking at the bug, couldn't help but feel Squirmie didn't approve of the new skill. "He doesn't look too excited for you Rolly."

Rolly laughed, "Oh, he's not. We like to take the same skills; it really increases their effectiveness. You should see the new tricks we've been doing after increasing disguise to shape changer. But he says this one is boring. I got it after memorizing all of the books the tax guys brought. Look at this...

Congratulations! Through diligent work you have memorized the Imperial Tax code and are deemed both wise and devious enough to interpret it.

You have gained the Primary Skill: Tax Advisor (INT)

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