Pursuing My Rejected Alpha

304 Lucien’s Scar From The Past

The West Coast City Fertility Center used to be a small clinic that ceased its operations years ago.

Ronan bought it a year ago. He destroyed the old clinic, and replaced it with an impressive two-story building.

The building’s renovation took a long time and proceeded at a slow pace. Until a few months ago when the Alpha ordered for it to be concluded. The new clinic was to serve as a fertility clinic.

A group of scientists moved in and started working earnestly to get everything ready.

When Lucien came to visit, only the smell of fresh paint revealed that the building was fairly new. Otherwise, people would assume that it had been in operation for at least two years.

Milroy had warned the fertility center staff regarding Lucien’s visit, but the scientists were still very nervous about Ronan’s mate. They were thus more than grateful when Gordon Clearwater offered to take his son around instead.

Lucien did not expect to meet his father at the fertility center at all. Likewise, Gordon was also stunned to see Lucien show up in person.

Nevertheless, he was glad to see his son again.

The elder man gathered his son into a hug.

.....

“Lulu, how is your health?”

“I am fine. Dad, why are you here?”

“Well, I am in charge of this fertility center.”

“...”

Lucien thought that he must have somehow landed in an alternate universe where his father earned a doctorate in reproductive technology.

“I am in charge of the management and not the operation of this institute,” Gordon explained as they toured the floor. “Lulu, why are you here in person? Did you bring the package with you?”

Ronan mentioned that Gordon was involved, but Lucien still could hardly believe it.

“Dad, you knew?” he asked, his voice trembling with emotion. “Did you know?”

Lucien shook the crumpled letter open and held it up for his father to read.

Gordon scanned the content line after line. He then took the letter from Lucien’s hand and folded it neatly.

“Son, what is the problem?” he asked carefully.

“I can’t believe it. Isn’t it too cruel???”

“What is?”

Lucien was shaken by the fact that his father did not know what he was talking about.

“He thought about leaving me alone,” Lucien broke into sobs. “He planned to die at the council headquarters and leave me alone!”

Gordon’s lips parted in surprise.

“Lulu, that’s not...”

“Of course it is!” Lucien shouted. “How could he? And you knew about it, Dad! Why didn’t you tell me??? I would have gone to him! I would have been there to support him!”

“Lulu...”

Gordon hugged his son and sighed.

“I am sorry,” he said while Lucien sobbed against his shoulder.

“I hate it!” Lucien smacked his hand against his father’s shoulder, startling the latter.

“Why? Why??? Why did you leave us? Why does he want to leave me? Why does everyone want to leave me??? What did I do wrong???”

Gordon was momentarily stunned, but then it dawned on him. He finally understood what Lucien meant.

Years had passed and his son had grown up, but he still carried the scar from Gordon’s suicide.

He did not want to worry his mother and his sister, so Lucien acted strong on the outside. Inside, though, he had always asked himself the question. Why did his father decide to kill himself on a whim, without even shedding a single thought about the family he was about to leave behind?

The answer was clear to Gordon and probably everyone else, but not to Lucien: Gordon was not strong enough to rise above the crisis.

No, maybe Lucien too knew the answer but he refused to believe it.

He loved his father dearly.

He did not want to think badly of his father so he blamed himself.

To make it worse, Ronan just had to write that farewell letter and awakened the awful memory from Lucien’s past.

“Lulu, listen to me. It was Dad’s fault. I should not have left you, your sister, and your mother behind. I should have tried to make it work somehow.”

“I am sorry, my son. It is not your fault. It was mine. You have done way more than what you were supposed to handle at your age.”

Lucien sniffled.

“You were so cruel,” he said. “Selfish. Inconsiderate.”

“Yes, I was. I was not a good father.”

Gordon patted Lucien’s head and kissed him on the cheek.

“Lucien, forgive your father, alright? Let go of the past, don’t think about it anymore. Focus on the future.”

Lucien did not answer.

He wanted the tears to stop, but they kept coming. Those were the tears he was unable to shed eight years ago, when the world he knew came crumbling down upon him.

Although he was overwhelmed by pain and sorrow, he forced himself to be strong, be brave. He was the only other man in the family. He was supposed to be the next Alpha of the pack.

The eighteen-year-old Lucien cut himself no slack.

He took the burden upon his lone shoulders, sheltering his whole family and then his pack.

He swallowed his tears, and gritted his teeth at the cruel fate that awaited him.

“Oh, Lucien...”

Gordon ran his hands around Lucien’s shoulder and back over and over again to comfort the younger man in his arms.

“Lulu, it’s all good now...”

“Mr. Clearwater,” a voice rang out ahead of them.

Gordon looked up and saw Ronan. He was panting slightly from running.

“Father,” he corrected himself. “Let me take Lucien.”

“Alpha Ronan...”

Ronan did not wait for Gordon to answer. He came over and peeled Lucien off his father’s embrace.

“Lulu... Lulu, what’s wrong? Talk to me, baby.”

Tear-streaked, Lucien gave his mate a sharp glare instead.

He shoved hard at Ronan’s chest, making him retreat a few steps backward.

“Don’t touch me,” Lucien hissed angrily.

“You are a bad mate,” he choked out further. “You are so selfish, Ronan Silverback. You don’t love me. You only love yourself.”

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