My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

"What's wrong?" Jiang Jinyan asked after everyone had left. He held Shi Nian's frozen hands and kneaded them gently. "I noticed you have been so quiet since just now. Afraid, hmm?"

Shi Nian swallowed nervously and found her voice with much difficulty. "You...already knew?"

Jiang Jinyan blinked and in the next moment, realization dawned on him. Shi Nian had never told him about her being the victim of the serial killer before. She behaved as if everything was okay, but Jiang Jinyan knew deep down she's not. Her eyes brimming with horrified tears, shaking shoulders, inexplicable reaction and fear... it all flashed through his mind. Everything gradually fell into place when he knew the truth.

Seeing Shi Nian's pale face, Jiang Jinyan vividly perceived how it was to have his heart ache for someone else. Somehow, he could understand how Shi Nian felt when she kissed his leg and embraced his scars. 

He too, wanted to be that kind of person for her.

He gathered the girl into his embrace and brushed his lips against her temple softly. "Sorry, I asked Detective Xu about it, are you angry?"

Shi Nian buried her face into his shoulder, the rims of her eyes reddening. "I don't want you to know…"

"Why?"

Why? Shi Nian had no idea either. Maybe it was a subconscious reaction from a girl toward the boy they liked. They always wanted to present their best sides and hid the ugly sides. 

Jiang Jinyan patted her head in a soothing manner. "It's scary, isn't it?"

"I don't know." She relished in his warmth and presence, mumbling. "I don't remember at all."

"Then, it must be so scary."

"...hmm." Without her realizing, tears slowly dripped down her eyes, falling onto his shirt and creating a damp patch. 

Jiang Jinyan's movement paused, then he hugged the girl tighter, almost wishing that he could hide her forever in his embrace so that no one could harm her anymore.

Everytime he saw the news about the serial killer's victims, it all didn't feel real because the incident didn't impact his life at all. However upon knowing that Shi Nian could end up just like them–tortured, dismembered, with her corpse thrown into public places–he felt an unprecedented fear suffocating his chest, it hurt so much that he couldn't breathe.

"Thank God…" He whispered raspily, distress thick in his tone. "Thank God you're still alive. If you weren't…" He shook the thought out of his mind and cupped Shi Nian's cheeks, wiping the tears with his thumb. "Don't be afraid. Everything will be okay. The culprit will definitely be found soon, okay? I will be here with you so…"

Keep on living. Don't give up. 

On you, on me.

On us.

***

Drrr…drrr...drrr–click. The call was connected. "Where are you?" Jia Ming'en asked before the person on the other side could talk. He accelerated the motorcycle even more until the tyres blazed out some sparks on the desolate highway. 

"...Ming'en?" Si Zhening's confused voice came through. "What's wrong? You're on the road?"

Jia Ming'en didn't answer his question and asked in return instead. His voice came out muffled, added with the howling wind and loud engine roar. "You're in your home in City A? Or the base? Or the apartment in Capital City?"

"I am in the Capital." Upon hearing the answer, Jia Ming'en instantly made a sharp u-turn and re-enter the boisterous city.

"Did something happen?" Si Zhening asked again.

"Stay there. Don't go anywhere. I swear, if I arrive there and I don't find you there, I will not forgive you."

Si Zhening fell silent for a while. "...alright."

Jia Ming'en pocketed his phone without caring whether the call was disconnected or not. He narrowed his eyes and rode the motorcycle even faster, it almost reached 200 mph. The scenery around him turned into a blur and his mind slowly drifted to the past.

For him, Si Zhening was his role model, a man he wanted to be when he grew up. He was calm, composed and mature. Every task Jia Renyu gave him–no matter how difficult it was–he could complete it perfectly without fail. It took no time for the rumors to spread that a talented man had joined the gang. 

That year, Si Zhening was only fourteen. So young. He was only a junior high schooler yet he could already hurt someone enough to kill without batting an eyelid. Everyone said that he was like an emotionless monster, one that could haunt their nightmares for days. But for Jia Ming'en, he was as cool as Iron Man.

He admired Si Zhening and wanted to be like him. Thus, he did everything he could to get close to him. He followed Si Zhening everywhere, clinging onto his thigh, crying whenever he left and throwing tantrums when he returned late. Jia Ming'en was practically closer to Si Zhening than his own father, Jia Renyu. And the way Si Zhening never pushed him away encouraged him further, compelling him to think that the man liked him as much as he did.

Thinking about the past, Jia Ming'en very much wanted to bash his own head–this brainless fool.

Everything in his mind was cotton candy and rainbow until one day, Jia Renyu's enemies infiltrated the base he lived in and dug one of his eyes out as a warning for them. 

For the first time in his life, Jia Ming'en learned what it meant to be born into a mafia family. 

To kill or to be killed. The strongest always won. It was as simple as that.

He wanted to kill himself whenever he recalled how naively happy and grateful he felt that Si Zhening wasn't there that day. For that, he didn't have to suffer like Jia Ming'en did. 

And what did he get in the end?

"Pity? He lost because he's weak. It has nothing to do with me." An expressionless face, a heartless remark, a cruel eye opener. 

From the start, Jia Ming'en was nothing in Si Zhening's eyes. The latter only allowed his shenanigans because he could reach Jia Renyu faster that way. Because he wanted power and authority. 

A new wound was added atop of Jia Ming'en's physical wound. Yet it was much more painful than that. He felt betrayed, deceived and fooled. 

It was a stupidity on his end, not Si Zhening's fault. But he learned in a hard way that what everyone said was right; Si Zhening was akin to an emotionless robot, he could use and abandon you at any time. 

That man's heart was incapable of containing any feelings at all.

He parked his motorcycle and rushed to Si Zhening's apartment room on the fifth floor by stairs, barely breaking a sweat when he arrived. Banging on the door, he hollered. "Open the door!" 

The hallway was desolate and almost all the lights had been turned off. After all, it was almost 1 am. His loud voice echoed throughout the night, but he couldn't care less whether his act could be considered as a public disturbance. His heart beat faster than ever and adrenaline rushed to his head. If Si Zhening didn't open the door for him in the next second, he was surely going to break it open.

"Ming'en!" He looked surprised, but Jia Ming'en knew that it was all a facade.

Jia Ming'en stormed into the room and closed his eyes to recompose himself. This was so unlike him. Why...when it came to Si Zhening, Jia Ming'en lost control of his emotions so easily? 

Si Zhening closed the door behind him and tapped the switch on. Instantly, light flooded the room, showing an expanse of space that was so neat and tidy that it almost looked inhabited. The walls separating each room had been taken down so that the entire area could be seen in one glance.

A huge bookshelf was put on one side of the wall, filled with books that were organized by colors, genres and alphabets. It was so orderly, so much that it was hair rising. 

A single bed laid near the window, creases formed on its corner showing that a person had just laid there a moment ago. 

Just like that. The entire room was only occupied by a bookshelf, a tiny bed, and kitchen with a small refrigerator. Wind breezed through the gaps of the curtain and Jia Ming'en turned around to face Si Zhening who had just slipped his glasses on.

"I want to ask you something." Jia Ming'en stared straight at him. "The human skin masks that the company produced are custom made, right?"

Si Zhening's movement paused. "Why are you asking about that?"

"I saw the record a few days ago by coincidence. This year, we have received more than 10 orders but only 2 of them came from China. One of them is from the daughter of Minister Wu while the other...is from you, is that right?"

Si Zhening leaned on the wall with his arms crossed. That kind of blank eyes again, void of any emotion. He couldn't even bring himself to pretend anymore, is that right?

Jia Ming'en's fists clenched by his side. He suppressed the urge to deliver a punch right to Si Zhening's face and asked in agitation. "Is that you...the serial killer?"

The atmosphere turned heavy, the tension so thick that it could almost be touched. After an unknown amount of time, Si Zhening gave a sigh. "What kind of ridiculous question is that?"

"Ge!" Jia Ming'en almost shouted himself hoarse. Red veins spread around his sclera and his whole being looked as if he was ready to explode. He closed his eyes, fists trembling. "I beg you, Ge. Just...Just tell me the truth this one time, okay? What did you use the human skin mask for?"

Even Jia Ming'en didn't even realize how much of a pleading his voice sounded like. But it was practically what he did. Begging for a sliver of his attention. Pleading for the truth that could shake his whole world. 

"Tell me and I will believe everything you say. You're not...the serial killer right?"

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A/N: omg, in my head, Jia Ming'en called out 'Hyung' instead of 'Ge' idk it just hurts more when it's Hyung but sadly this is not a korean drama scene lol 

Don't ship them yeah, their relationship is purely brothersss

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