Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

Courtesy to: wn404

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Our day’s journey through the sewer tunnels ended at a wide wetlands, not unlike that of the basilisk’s home turf. This place, however, didn’t have that signature purple earth, and the water wasn’t that turbid either, so it had the atmosphere of a normal swamp.

The many pools of water must’ve been nesting areas for the jira as a crowd of them leaped up from the swamp waters to face us. They were probably confident about their home ground advantage, as they showed no hesitation to charge at us, stomping their wet, webbed feet on the muddy earth.

Had I still been solo, now would’ve been the perfect time to bid adios and get my ass out of here, but Tendo-kun’s here, so I can simply stand back and watch.

With each swing of his dragon sword, Tendo-kun roasted scores of the fish-faces as they came, while the rest of us walked past the piles of jira corpses that gave off the smell of barbecued fish.

“We’re stopping here for tonight.” Tendo-kun announced.

Soon after, we’d come across a fairy square within the swamp area. This stone building that stood like a small temple in the middle of the chaos, seemed to be better built than the one I’d made my base in before my fight with the basilisk.

“You lot stay here. I’m gonna go check the area.” He said, to which the Glamourettes responded by happily volunteering to accompany him but, “That means you too. Make the food or something.”

Who knows, maybe he got a new skill after beating the jiras and wanted to go test it out. I didn’t see him eating one though… well, whatever. I’ve already determined that trying to needlessly pry into Tendo-kun’s business is an instant death flag. I wanted to have more info, but risking my life on it is putting the cart before the horse.

“Hng’aaa∼” yawned Rando-san, “I’m exhausted. I think I kind of stink too.”

She made one of her usual lazy complaints and plomped herself down on the clean, fairy square grass, sitting with her legs spread out. Oof, that angle is disastrous for my eyes.

“You think we should wipe down?”

“Tendo-kun isn’t here right now, so yeah, sure.”

And the Glamourettes seem to have the same opinion as Rando-san. We spent all day walking in foul smelling sewer tunnels, so of course our bodies reek. I wanted to take a bath as soon as I can.

“Rando-san, I’ll be outside while you wash up. Just call me when you’re done.”

“Careful not to peek∼”

“Yeah, no kidding. Nonomiya-san and Yoshizaki-san would literally snap my neck if I did. I don’t want to die for pulling a prank, thank you very much.”

“Oh, uhh, sorry…?” Rando-san didn’t know how to react when I suddenly got all serious. Naturally, I would’ve laughed it off with her were we still in Japan, but here, there is potential for literally deadly consequences.

I absolutely refuse to let myself fall in the same kind of trap as when I was caught by Kenzaki Asuna. Granted, that was different, with her seeing me getting myself off, but if the situation was reversed and I were caught peeking while the girls were washing, she might’ve killed me then and there.

Such is the folly of the strong. They could kill for the measliest of accidents. And I, being on the side of the weak, am also on the side that screws it up someday and gets killed for it.

“Alright, then I’ll head out now.”

“Thanks, um, sorry again, Momokawa.”

“Just try to be careful about this sort of thing, alright?” I said my parting words, trying to play it cool, but honestly―― what I wouldn’t give to get a look! Who cares about the Glamourettes, I want to burn the picture of Rando-san’s tantalizing nudity into these eyes of mine. That chocolate tanned, deliciously plump body exudes a charm totally different from that of Mei-chan.

Come on, Rem, can’t we do something like sight sharing and find a loophole in this thing? I mentally schemed with all the brainpower I could muster. I mean, being alive is important and all, but I still have needs.

In short, I opted to impatiently complete the painful wait outside without incident.

“Haah,” I sighed, “guess I’ll pick some herbs.”

Rather than thinking with my dick, I should spend the time productively and take a walk around the area, of course, not straying more than a few meters away from the fairy square.

The outside had only low shrubbery and trees were also sparse, meaning that I would notice immediately if a band of jiras approached. Still, no harm in being too careful, so I had Rem act as my bodyguard while I sifted my way through the local bush flora.

“Ah, it’s―― !?” I’d made a big find. “A snake!”

In between the bushes, I came face to face with a snake, not a monster, but purely animalia. It hissed at me with its forked tongue out.

A snake, something that Mei-chan had once beheaded, skinned and broiled into a delicious meal. That snake.

“Blackhair bind!” Not one to let this chance go, I immediately captured it in tentacles. This is meat, one of the few actually edible meats in this dungeon. And it’s not getting away from me!

“Rem!”

“Gagaa!”

The snake struggled fiercely once it noticed that its whole body had been wrapped in blackhair bind. Though not for long, as Rem promptly used her mantis blade and relieved it of its head.

“Nice, good job!” I praised. “Think you can skin it for me too?”

“Gagaaa!!” Done! Rem seemed to say, grabbing the snake by its headless neck, and ripping off the skin with one smooth motion. Ahh Rem, you’re so amazing. She did it just like Mei-chan had done once.

“We have meat! Meat!” I cheered.

The snake was left hung on a nearby tree to drain the blood.

“All right, Rem, time for a snake hunt.”

“Gaga.”

“But keep your guard up. The smell of blood might attract jiras or other monsters.”

“Guga.”

And so, until Rando-san, fresh after her bath with sexy wet hair, called me to return, I focused my entire being on getting more snake meat. Luckily, we didn’t attract any unwanted monsters either.

In summary, we hunted 4. Tonight, we feast.

“Urp… no no no,” Rando-san reacted, “like, seriously Momokawa, that’s just, no.”

“Huh, Rando-san, I thought you could cook?”

“Well I can, but that’s a snake, dude!”

Such was the state of affairs when I proudly showed off the fruits of my hunt. It was a reaction similar to a cat bringing a mouse between its teeth to show its owner.

“Come on, I promise this tastes really good. You won’t regret it.”

“Ugh, I mean like, I kinda do want some meat…”

Right, now that I’ve convinced Rando-san to challenge snake meat and left the cooking to her… with Tendo-kun not here, I finally have a chance to talk to the Glamourettes.

And if Rando-san gives up, I guess I can try my hand at it. I mean, we’re just putting it over a fire, cutting up some meat couldn’t be that hard, right?

“Erm, could I have a talk with you two?”

“Ha?”

“Look Momokawa, we don’t want to talk to you.”

Harsh. The old me would’ve been so hurt by such a cold refusal that I’d cry in my bed for three days straight, but… heh, so you think words can put a dent on my HP? Fat chance. I’ll have you know, I’m a guy who was seen fapping by a girl my age, and subsequently beaten up by her too. A response like this is but a gentle breeze by comparison.

“I think,” I said, “it’s better if we try to work together. I wanted to talk so we can help each other out better.”

“Uh, how about no?”

“You’re not even that strong, are you Momokawa? How’re you gonna do anything?”

“Sure, I’ll admit that I’m not even strong enough to protect myself, but I can make medicine.”

The two girls snorted, they didn’t look all that interested. Which is why I have the upperhand. The reason being: if they’d gotten some from Tendo-kun, they’d say they already have medicine.

“Actually, Tendo-kun already found out how to get the ingredients and make one of my healing ointments. Didn’t he give some to you two?”

And after a silence, “…. No. Marie?”

“Me neither.”

Of course he hasn’t. Tendo-kun neither looks not acts the type that would share his personally made medicine to his unwanted flockers from sheer goodness of heart.

I’ll be frank, Tendo-kun probably has as much interest in Nonomiya Julia and Yoshizaki Maria, as he does in me: None. And there’s no point in accusing him about it either. For all I know, Tendo-kun might be in possession of one of the most powerful callings in our whole class. He won’t give one shit, and will do whatever he damn well pleases. Might always makes right in the dungeon.

“My medicine isn’t as good as a potion, but it works better than the clovers, and I can make a lot of it. You two have to fight monsters in close quarters so wouldn’t you rather have some on you if you could?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Yeah, we might need some.”

Hook, line and sinker. It’d been an instant and complete defeat on my end when I had this conversation with Tendo-kun, but this, this is how my negotiation is supposed to go, with them understanding the true value of my healing meds.

“That being said, I do value my medicine very much, and making it isn’t anything as simple as using magic either. I have to collect all the ingredients by hand, and there’s a limited supply of that. What I’m saying is, I can’t just give it to anyone.”

“What, so you’re not giving us any, is that it?”

“Be a douche somewhere else, Momokawa.”

“I’m saying,” I let them know clearly, “that I’ve never really talked to you Nonomiya-san, or you, Yoshizaki-san. I don’t exactly know you two very well.”

Are they friend of foe? That’s the main question. So long as we have that indirect threat that only 3 of us will be allowed out of the dungeon, I can’t trust anyone just because they were classmates.

“Frankly, I’ve had classmates attack me before. But if you’re truly willing to cooperate, as in fight with me and not against me, then I’d gladly hand over medicine when you need it and, it’s not much, but I can also support you in battle using my curses.”

“I mean, curses, I don’t know…”

“Eh, I can risk it for the medicine.”

Good, very good. They still have doubts, but I can tell that they want the meds.

“I’m not saying let’s be friends, but I want to at least have some degree of communication among fellow party members.”

“Dude, you gotta at least try to be friends.”

“See, this is why you don’t get any girls, Momokawa.”

Oof, that stung. So that’s it huh. All the girls know that I’m just a pansy! Okay yeah, I knew that already, but having it point out to me in my face is just cruel.

Shit, not again, I thought I already lost the ability to feel the hurt from words, but the pain, it burns!

“Uh, okay then, let’s start with being friends.”

“Eh∼, with you…?”

“Like, you’re not my type, sorry∼”

“Wait, how come you’re saying it like you just turned me down!?”

I mean, come on, it took a lot of courage to say that, and this is what I get? Dammit, these girls they’re… they’re just evil…

“Ahaha, you make some great reactions, Momokawa∼.”

“So true∼. Don’t worry, some girls like that too.”

“Please, don’t. I’m not the type that likes being teased around, okay?”

Still, these two breaking down my meager willpower and laughing at my expense might have actually lowered some of the walls between us. Which is great for me. And it’s not like I’m going to cry over some light teasing. In fact, I think we might just get along.

“Kay, so Momokawa, how’re we supposed to do this co-op thing anyway?”

“Yeah, I mean like, we’re pretty much fine staying the way we are, right?”

“You mean, because Tendo-kun can beat anything?”

“That’s right, he’s so frickin’ badass.”

“Totes. He’s the best.”

I’d have to agree. I don’t see Tendo-kun ever losing to any dungeon monster. Sure, the monsters get stronger the deeper we get, but by my estimate, he has the potential to grow strong enough to easily match that.

And that very well may be the reason why we can’t rely on him alone. But I can’t say that to these two and expect them to understand.

I’m sure that they also had it rough before joining up with Tendo-kun. Not to mention they had to carry a dead weight like Rando-san. And then, suddenly they gained an ally who put them at ease from their frustrations with his unbelievable power. I can’t go around making statements like I doubt Tendo-kun when they’re so infatuated with him. That could break down negotiations instantly.

“I wanted to ask, how do you two really feel about Tendo-kun?”

“I like him, what else?”

“Yeah, I’d be crazy not to fall for him.”

Both of them professed their attraction toward Tendo-kun without a shred of hesitation. I see. They must be pretty serious about it then. Fighting to survive every day in this harsh environment, they saw the appeal of a truly strong man, and went for it.

“I get that, but I don’t really see him being interested in either of you, honestly.”

“Hey!”

“The fuck!?”

“Please hear me out. In no way am I saying that you two aren’t attractive. I’m saying that Tendo-kun seems to be like that with everyone, not just you two. And I’m not saying he’s arrogant or egocentric, but more, let’s see… He’s the type that only sees value in people he approves of, or at least, that’s how I see it.”

I don’t think I’m an excellent judge of character. I’m a shaman after all, not a fortune teller. I haven’t met all the walks of people, nor do I boast of long and rich life experience.

But even to me, Tendo-kun just feels like that sort of human being. In a way, you could say he’s easy to understand.

“Yeah, I… guess.”

“He does kind of give off that feel.”

The two of them know this. They’ve been trying every trick in the book to get him to look their way, but alas, Tendo-kun still treats them like nameless NPCs.

And as girls who are more in tune with the workings of the heart, they had to have noticed already. I’m sure that his unyielding apathy toward them is what’s been hurting them the most.

“To be honest,” I said, “I’m scared that one day Tendo-kun will just tell me to leave. He could say it’s because I’m holding him back, so I can’t come with him anymore. He could decide it just like that.” And I’m likely at the top of the list when he does decide to do so. He already has what was supposed to be my trump card, my meds, so I hold very little value to him right now.

“Come on, even Tendo-kun wouldn’t,”

“Do that, I think…”

“Nonomiya-san, Yoshizaki-san, you’re both clearly strong. But Tendo-kun is still leagues above you. If there’s ever a time when you face a boss monster you can’t measure up to, Tendo-kun will just fight it alone, without you.” Because why did he have to care about people who couldn’t keep up? He would walk his own path regardless. At least, that’s the feeling you get from looking at his broad back.

“I don’t know when Tendo-kun might just up and leave on his own.” I summarized. “And that’s why I can’t rely on him for everything. If he does end up leaving, I want to be at least strong enough to defend myself.”

The two look like they were deep in thought.

Of course, it’s not even a matter of thinking about it. They’re obviously going to be concerned, more concerned than me even, on the idea that Tendo-kun might leave them one day.

“Anyway, let’s not be so pessimistic. I’m just saying we should try to get along.”

“Sigh, yeah, I guess you're right.”

“We don’t really want any drama either, so yeah.”

There we go. Now they’ve agreed to cooperate. Now’s the hard part…

“Great. Then first, I’d like to ask you two a favor.”

“Go on?”

“And be reasonable.”

They might refuse this one. But this is the starting line. We need to get past it before we’re actually running.

I screwed up my courage, and made my request:

“Please make up with Rando-san.”

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