Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

Courtesy to: wn404

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I, along with the newly reborn Rem, worked up a little bit of courage again and went up to Tendo-kun who, as usual, had the Glamourettes stuck to him, and gave them the basic rundown on my powers. I explained that Rem is my familiar and not a monster, even though she looks a lot like one, and I also let them know about Pain Return which may hurt them if I happen to get hit by friendly fire.

The three of them didn’t really give a damn. In fact, I could say they were hardly even listening to me, but as long as they keep the gist of it in mind, I should be fine. I don’t think I can or need to arrange it so that I fight alongside them as a team.

With that awkward monologue over with, I passed the rest of the time chatting about random things with Rando-san and getting a nap. And now, it’s time to head out of the square.

“Hey uh, is it just me, or does this place smell nasty?”

“It really does. I mean, the whole place reminds me of underground sewer tunnels.”

Bleh, spat Rando-san, not at all fond of the scenery, which was an opinion I can only agree with. This zone has this constant stink of stagnating wastewater. It’s not so bad that we can’t breathe, so we’ve been making progress at least.

Like I said to Rando-san, this place really is like a network of sewer tunnels. The passages are all stone, as usual, but the floor has channel occupied by smelly sewage water with narrow walkways on both sides. I did not want to risk slipping into that gunk so I stuck of the wall as much as possible.

We’re all walking in a line, by the way. Going from the front, we have Tendo-kun, then Julie and Marie, followed by Rando-san, then me, and finally, Rem.

Other than the occasional, “Bleh∼” from Rando-san, all of us were marching quietly, the only sound to enter our ears being that of our many footfalls on the stone floor. It was a peaceful trek across the――

“G y o a a a!” The black sewage undulated, followed by a shrieking something leaping out of it.

“Piss off.” That was Tendo-kun. Before I could even see what that sewage monster even looked like, he had chopped it in half, returning it to the water from whence it came. The dark sewage was slowly dyed maroon at one spot.

And as if nothing major had happened, we resumed our march.

I’d normally make a fuss about it, but this same series of events had repeated many times since we headed out of the fairy square, and I frankly couldn’t care anymore.

The identity of these suddenly attacking somethings are a sort of fish-human creature, a sahuagin, if you will. They have a face like a fish and a frog had a baby, blue scales all over their bodies that change color to white at their chest. These humanoid monsters have 5 digit hands and feet that are joined by a membrane to aid in swimming. They also have a small fin on their back and no tail. I guess they’re like gomas: fish edition.

Their real name, according to the notebook mail, seems to be Jira Goma, so they are technically classified as a subspecies of goma.

Anyway, these jiras apparently occupy this sewer zone and have been sneaking up on us along the sewage channel for a while now. And by us, I really mean Tendo-kun, who’s had no problem with them at all.

“G y o a a a a a!”

“Tsk.” Tendo-kun clicked in annoyance, as he delivered a powerful kick to the fish-faced attacker’s white stomach. He probably found it a pain to pull out his sword so many times, but sent the jira crashing back into the water regardless. The splash of sewage subsided, revealing the dead creature bent into and L shape, slowly flowing away downstream.

Tendo-kun is so OP, I bet he could easily handle an army of these jiras no problem. If I was that strong, I might’ve taken this dungeon survival as a fun, extended field trip. What I’m trying to say is that I’m mad jelly.

For him, these fish-faces aren’t even worth drawing his sword, while I’d have to be on full guard just facing one of them.

“G y o a!”

“G y g y o o o o!”

We’d come out into a slightly wide part of the tunnels, and there, we encountered multiple jiras. Up until now, we only had single attackers and Tendo-kun finished them off instantly so we hadn’t been held up anywhere. However, now, they had, I guess gotten smart enough for basic strategy, as they came in a group, and from both directions.

“Fufun, how about you let two of us handle these?”

“Sounds good to me∼”

The jiras in front of us number 5, which the Glamourettes opted to take on.

“Do what you want.” Said Tendo-kun, moving aside with his arms crossed. Guess he decided to let them handle it. Umm, there are still some jiras behind me, by the way. Will you be ignoring them? Okay, nevermind.

“Woah, ew ew! Those faces, they’re seriously giving me the creeps!?” Nope nope nope, Rando-san was panicking, but let’s ignore that. I’ll try my hand at these jiras too.

I’ve been wanting to test out the new and improved Rem’s strength and this is as good an opportunity as any. It also helps that we only have two of them to deal with, and while I am taking this seriously, I’d say our chances of winning are guaranteed.

“Rando-san,” I called behind me, “you stay at the back. Let’s go, Rem.”

“Gagagooh!!” Ready for action, Master! Rem seemed to say as she charged toward the jira duo. She was faster and deadlier-looking than any Rem before. I wouldn’t expect less from so all those lavish parts I used.

She reminded me of Mei-chan with the way she bolted fearlessly into the enemy, whipping out her mantis blade attachment.

“U g y o o!” Wailed the jira as Rem mercilessly cut it down. The fish-face was also holding a weapon, a single edged sword like a scimitar, but the monster could neither use it to defend, nor could it dodge Rem’s swift and accurate slash. It was defeated easily without any chance or means of resistance.

“You’re not getting away―― Blackhair Bind.”

As the closer one of the two was taken care of in a flash, the one behind it got cold feet and attempted to dive back into the sewage to make a quick getaway. I wasn’t going to allow that, of course.

“G y o g y o!?” Fish B was shocked, its leg was suddenly caught in these black tentacles. Next came Rem, swinging down her arm blade down on its head. Alas, Fish B was now fish fillet.

More jiras came, and Rem took full advantage of them by testing out all her new apparel. She plunged her palm stinger inside the next one’s face, and she used her second set of arms, the rook spider’s claws on her back, to open up some ventilation holes inside the jira after that.

I let my mad dog Rem have all the kills while I held down the guinea pigs, I mean jiras, with blackhair bind. Yep, this is exactly how a Shaman rolls. Don’t go expecting any brute strength from me, cause you’d only be disappointed.

Anyway, Rem made very quick work of all the jiras that came from behind us.

“Holy! Momokawa, that was frickin’ awesome!”

Aww shucks, appreciate the compliment, Rando-san. But Rem’s the one who did all the musclework. So please don’t expect that sort of melee from me, kthx.

“Alright, good job Rem, now le―― aAh!?” Suddenly, Rando-san was hugging me from behind.

“Ahaha,” she laughed, “if you’re this strong, then I know I’m in good hands back here∼”

Holy crap she smells so good, wait no, is this softness on top of my head what I think it is――

“No, look, Rando-san, I really think you should learn to fight a little too, you know? ”

“Ehh∼ come on, I’m really not a fighter at all∼ Just look at me.”

Nope. I am not falling for that honeytrap! The last thing I need is becoming a bumbling white knight. Just now, I only managed to give her a sane response because she had ended the hug. If she’d asked be again while burying my head within those bountiful breasts, I would’ve lost every shred of resistance, even agree to gladly give my life away for her. How truly fearsome. Such is the power of boobies.

“Well neither am I. But I still had to manage somehow. You can too.”

“No way∼”

“Hey look, I think they’re all done over there. Let’s catch up.”

“Wait, that fast? No, hey, wait for meee∼”

Our fighters up front had finished dealing with their share of the jiras and were already on their way. The two of us are practically dead if by chance we get left behind in this stink zone, so while I grumbled to myself how they’re kind of being dicks, I, along with Rando-san, quickly ran to catch up.

I happened to catch a glance of their handiwork as I went after them. 5 jira’s lay dead on the floor, some of them with gaping wounds while others with their neck or heart, weak points, accurately stabbed through. Looks like Julie and Marie are actually a decent Warrior and Knight.

Jiras, though I compared them to gomas, are actually a lot bigger than the kid-sized black devils. They’re as tall as an adult man and have toned, packed muscles under those blue scales, perhaps due to all their swimming. The fact that those Glamourettes, tall and slim girls who look like they belong in fashion magazines, could best these aquatic monsters with ease just goes to prove again that looks can be deceiving in this world.

These battle oriented callings not only grant powerful skills, but greatly increases the growth rate of ‘stats’ such as strength or dexterity. It’s something that gives them a big advantage over someone like me in terms of not only fighting, but continuing the long and harsh survival life. I think that, in the long run, increasing these basic stats are what gives you the edge.

I can’t check them, but I hope I’m at least gaining on some stats useful to shamans, but if not… you know what? This is too depressing so let’s change topic.

“Hey, by the way, Rando-san?”

“Mm? What’s up?”

“Don’t you have any weapons?”

“Eh? No no, weapons are dangerous.”

“Isn’t is more dangerous not having one?” Seriously, we’re in a dungeon for crying out loud. Plus, I’m pretty sure she isn’t an expert in hand-to-hand combat either.

“I mean like, I couldn’t even swing around a sword even if I had one.”

“I get what you mean, but look, I at least have this spear on me. It’s better to carry at least a knife even if you have a mage class. Just think of it as a good luck charm.”

If I were to fight a single goma barehanded and without using mana, I’d definitely get fucked. But if I at least had a knife, I might just pull off a win. Admittedly, us magic types, who pale in comparison to fighter callings in terms of raw strength, can’t actually win in a physical fight with most monsters even with weapons allowed, but having one is still better than not. Case in point, I’ve had to use my spear quite a few times in order to get out of a hairy situation. I definitely didn’t regret having it in that zombie rush.

Oh right, here’s a list of things Rem and I have equipped:

Iron Spear

I didn’t get to use this at all versus Higuchi, but it’s a spear dropped from a skeleton trooper unit. I have it equipped.

Masaru’s Longsword

A sword originally belonging to Masaru. It’s somewhat better than an average iron sword and I have Rem using it.

Red Knife

Magic weapon. Very important. I can still picture the feeling of finishing off Higuchi with this thing.

Higuchi’s Butterfly Knife

A mechanical knife that Higuchi wanted me to pass on to Nagae-san. It looks cheap, but it’s surprisingly useful. A lot sharper than your average knife. I suspect it might have some kind of enchantment, or perhaps, it could be possessed by Higuchi’s dying grudges.

Quality over quantity. I’ve kept only these as they were the best we had. In other words, we shouldn’t have to collect any weapon drops for a while. Though if I had the chance, I’d want Rem to also have a spear. Oh wait, one of those jira had one. Damn I lost my chance to collect it with Tendo-kun being in so much of a hurry.

“Gugaga.” called Rem, as if to answer my prayer, for in her hands was… that very same spear.

“Oh, you picked this up?”

“Ga.”

“Good girl.”

Wait, does this mean Rem’s intelligence has levelled up too? This sort of thing happened in the basilisk fight too, Rem started making decisions on her own without any input from me. So her thinking a weapon might be useful and picking it up, is a good sign.

“Really, I’m always proud to see you grow.”

“Gagago.” Rem clacked her jaw bones in a show of happiness from being praised. My little Rem’s grown up so much, it’s touching.

“Uh, Momokawa,” Rando-san asked doubtfully, “do you like, understand what those gah gahs mean?”

“Nah, I’m just playing along.”

“Gotcha∼”

It’s the feeling that matters, Rando-san. Think of it like talking to your pet dog.

Still, with her rate of growth, there just might come a day when Rem actually starts talking. I’m kind of worried she’ll start complaining that I’m working her too hard…

Having a few not-so-positive premonitions, I marched along the dark sewage walkway.

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