Jujutsushi Wa Yuusha Ni Narenai

Courtesy to: wn404

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“H-holy crap… I’ve hit the mother lode.”

While Tendo-kun was having a delightful smoke in the background, I was knee deep into the massive pile of monster bits he had handed over to me. This is some good stuff.

From skeletons to red dogs, to pawn ants to wild boars to those hopping monkeys. There’s tons of mobs I’ve seen and many that I haven’t. And here’s the really good part: scattered among the mob bits, I could see parts belonging to armorbears or knight mantises just sitting there like nobody’s business. These mid-boss tier materials will obviously, and dramatically improve the quality of my Rem.

“Wait, No, freakin… way, are those actual dragon scales!?”

The chain of happy surprises climaxed with the discovery of red dragon scales. Why dragon? They’re as big as my palms each, that’s why.

“It requires exceptional skill and experience to concoct medicines out of scales from a salamander. In return, the resulting product is extremely potent… huh, it, it really is from a dragon then.”

And just like that, Intuition Pharmacy casually proved that what I was holding were indeed scales belonging to a dragon. I’m apparently not at a high enough skill level to use them in my meds, but just having them in my possession held a lot of potential value.

I only found 3 of these Salamander Scales no matter how finely I searched through the mountain of parts, but just these three are bound to yield tremendous effect. Heck, even if they don’t, they’d make for some rad accessories.

“Yeah, Tendo-kun definitely has some kind of Skill Eater and Upgrade-like skills.”

The presence of dragon scales among his horde implies that he’s fought this salamander and beat it too. There’s no way he just randomly happened to pick these up.

The red of these scales match up with the red bastard sword that Tendo-kun had previously brought out. There’s a big chance that he constructed that sword using salamander scales. A salamander would obviously be able to breathe fire. And maybe not just breathe it but even create magic circles to rapidfire fireballs like a machine gun. There are fictions where dragons use fire like it’s an extension of their body, and who knows, maybe the dragons in this world are like mages and have a variety of different ways to use their element.

And having eaten such a fire breathing dragon, a salamander, Tendo-kun is able to also wield the same dominance over fire.

He leaves Yokomichi in the dust, practically. The latter was so proud just having that paralysis tongue from a boss frog, but Tendo-kun has the powers of a fucking dragon.

“Man, what if Rem’ll be able to use fire magic once I put these in… No, I’m getting my hopes up too much. I’ll be happy with at least fire resistance…”

“Heeey Momokawa, whatcha up to∼” Rando-san called out to me. She must’ve gotten bored.

“I’m choosing the parts I’ll be using for a ritual.”

“You’ve been at it forever dude∼”

“That long?”

“That long.”

I guess I have been going at it for a while. The mountain of treasure in front of me was so enticing I’d completely forgotten about everything else.

“Need any help?”

Huh, do I? I mean, it’s not really something where more hands get it done faster and I do kind of want to examine every piece myself…

“Sure, Rando-san. Can you look through everything here and pick up the ones you think are good?”

“How am I supposed to know what’s good?”

“Well, I figured that you, as a geomancer, might notice hidden properties in some of these that I can’t.”

“Oh, so you’re curious about my fashion sense?”

“Uh, sure, let’s go with that.”

“Gotcha. Trust me, I don’t disappoint∼”

It might seem like I just made up a random reason and gave her some random thing to do, but I’m somewhat serious about what I said. It was thanks to my Intuition Pharmacy that I could confirm that the red scales belonged to a salamander. That being said, my ingredients based appraisal skill pales in comparison to Tendo-kun’s OP appraisal. And it’s not even all that informative to be honest.

I don’t think Rando-san just conveniently happens to have an appraisal skill of her own, but being an elemental mage, she might be able to naturally sense the mana of things. And if not, it’s always good to let another pair of eyes pass over everything lest I risk missing something.

“Hm, this color is good, but the design is ehh∼” Rando-san seemed to be taking this task with surprising earnesty. She was on her knees, looking through half of the total number of parts scattered on the grass. Doing it so seriously that―― wait, won’t I see her panties in that pose!?

“Yuck, this still had blood on it! Ew eww, Momokawa, get water∼!”

“Ah! Sure, here.”

Oh shit, oh shit, I should’ve realized! The monster parts aren’t arranged on a table but scattered all over the ground, so of course you’d have to crouch or even just bend over then to have a good look. I have pants on so whatever, but the girl over there is wearing a skirt. And this isn’t just any girl, this is Rando-san, who makes it a point to wear her skirt incredibly short, perhaps even the shortest in our whole class.

M-Mu… Must. Not. Look.

“Ohh, this one!” Rando-san yelled. “It’s really nice∼ Momokawa, you like this one?”

“Could you please put the ones that catch your eye over there?”

“Sure thing, Boss∼”

Here I am talking to her calmly on the outside, but I’m finding myself completely unable to avert my eyes from Rando-san’s lower half. I bet she knows. I’m only taking quick peeks, but she has to know. I heard that girls have a sort of intuition about dirty gazes.

Which might just mean, she’s testing me. Yes, Rando-san is testing me to see how much of a gentleman I can be in this sort of situation.

Come on, I don’t need this. Don’t do this to me. I have literally zero resistance to girls, you know? You know that, don’t you? I see now, Rando-san is a truly devilish temptress. I can practically see her spaded tail wriggling out from under her skirt.

Ugh, not today… I refuse to fall victim to your voluptuous charm! (rip in peace)

“ ―― Phew∼ yup, that’s everything. We’re good, Momokawa?”

“Yeah, thanks Rando-san.”

We’d finished going through everything. It was a lot of work, but fun work. Plus, there was Rando-san to chat with, which did technically slow us down, but it made the experience much more enjoyable.

The collection of parts I carefully singled out, in addition to the ones that Rando-san thought would look good, will be used in the ritual of Vile Mud Doll. I’ll of course be set up my Hexagram Eye with appropriate sacrifices at each point. But before that,

“Bathroom break.” I said casually.

Let’s not beat around the bush. Did I see them? Yes, yes I did. Rando-san really needs some better defense. I saw them a few times actually.

They were leopard print.

“―― Hey you’re back.” Rando-san welcomed me back. “You sure took your time.”

“Sorry.”

I really am. But if it’s the number two, then it kind of does take a while, am I right? And even if I’m doing it outside the fairy square, it takes some time to do the whole cleanup procedure.

Okay. I was worried whether I’d get to collect my secret ingredient this time, but that’s well and taken care of. Plus, I feel refreshed and ready to put my back into making Rem.

So I present below the lavishly chosen list of materials:

Greater Skeleton Bones

These bones are harder, glossier, whiter and tighter than the stuff from even a skeleton trooper unit chief. I don’t know what sort of high level skeleton these are from, but they’re awesome.

Bones of Different(?) Monsters

A selection of bones that Rando-san picked out for me. They seem OK, but I don’t sense anything special from them. Intuition Pharmacy doesn’t react either. I’m still using them, on the off chance that they do manifest an effect.

Basilisk Bones

Bones left over from the melted remains of the basilisk after the epic battle VS me and Rem. It’s technically boss monster parts so I’m using them.

Charred Goliath Meat

Sure, Tendo-kun beat this guy with one swing, but even Higuchi was afraid of it so I thought that it’s flesh, even if it’s well done, might hold some hidden potential. I swiped some in a cloth before we warped out of there.

Scales of Salamander

This Salamander is probably the most powerful monster I know about, and accordingly, its scales should become the most potent ingredient. I can’t think of a reason not to use these. Fingers crossed for fire resistance!

Armorbear’s Armor

How come there’s always an armorbear? I seriously don’t need it to become my recurring worst enemy, but I’ll admit that this shell will make for the best defense.

Knight Mantis Scythe

Rem used this very efficiently versus the Basilisk. Since I have one, might as well use it.

Goar Skin

Mei-chan beat some of these at one point, but skinning was a bit difficult so we had only collected their cores. Their skin isn’t as tough as armorbear armor, but they’ve got a decent defense rating. I know that they’re at least tougher than pawn ant carapace.

Bishop Bee’s Stinger

Another member of the [Chess Piece][Insect] family of monsters, one which I didn’t encounter in the insect cave. It’s probably going to be less effective than a mantis scythe, but it could make for an alright sub weapon.

Rook Spider’s Giant Claws

This thing was supposed to be the zone boss, I guess. Its parts are armorbear quality, especially this claw from it’s leg tip. I can’t say if it’ll become a weapon or defensive gear, but it’s worth trying out.

Great Boar’s Hooves

Really big and heavy these. If they go under Rem’s feet they’d make for devastating kicking attacks.

White Velvety Fur

Another Rando-san recommendation. She was describing them with jargon like Cashmere and what not, but basically, it’s very good fur. It’s smooth, soft and feels amazing on my hand. As for what monster it’s from: no clue.

Large Curved Horns

Another one of Rando-san’s top picks. A big and very shiny pair of horns that wouldn’t look out of place as niche room decor. Monster unknown.

Pointy Fangs

Sharp and pointy fangs from a variety of monsters.

Sharp Claws

Same as above, sharp and pointy claws from a variety of monsters.

Those are all the monster parts. I’ll also be using my blood and semen, pieces of mandragora and finally, core fragments.

Additionally, since Rando-san is a geomancer, I’m having her create earth using magic and using that as a base. The idea is that magic earth will have more mana infused in it as compared to earth dug up from the ground.

And with all that done, it’s now, finally, time to get Rem back on the team.

“Oh wow, that’s, something!” Said Rando-san, her choice of words leaving me wondering if she meant it positively, or if she’s super creeped out. I’ve got a lot of parts to use this time so my hexagram is accordingly large to accommodate. And with how I’m doing this smack-dab in the middle of the square, the Glamourettes sitting beside Tendo-kun have also been curiously glancing this way, though not going so far as to bother me.

Tendo-kun himself was in the middle of some serious contemplation, trying to decide whether he should have another cigarette or not. He took one out of the box, only to put it back inside, and had been repeating the action with a grim expression.

Alright, enough about the peanut gallery, let’s make some curses.

“Rise from chaos, bind in foul blood, stand on stained earth ―― Vile Mud Doll.”

Oof, it’s really sucking the mana out of me. If I tried something like this a few weeks ago, I might’ve instantly collapsed from mana deficiency. I guess this is to be expected from so many high quality parts.

Uhh, crap, I’m feeling really faint… but, so, close…

“ ―― D-done, yes!”

Once the hexagram was completely submerged within the swirls of chaos, Rem emerged from within.

“Looks good… phew, welcome back to this side, Rem.”

“Ga! Gigi, Guge, Goooh!”

“Ooh, that’s great Rem, you’re saying something other that Ga’s now.”

Seeing Rem raising a battlecry while standing imposingly in the middle of the magic circle with the chaos now gone, I was impressed, despite myself.

I even had a bit of sand in my eyes, but I made sure to fully inspect Rem’s new glorious body.

On top of the, as expected, black skeleton base body, she has a set of tough shell-armor that looks more polished than ever before. Her face, that is, her skull is visible from the front with the head shielded with a helm, dark gray like armorbear armor, with those shiny curved horns decorating both sides, which made her look like a commander-class monster.

The rest of her black armor is just as impressive. It covers every inch of her base body with a mix of armorbear armor and goar skin. The full plate armor also has the red dragon scales sticking out of its breastplate, in addition to the white velvety fur circling the collar. It looks sleek, yet trendy. Gotta hand it to Rando-san.

And let’s not forget functionality. Rem’s right arm is fitted with a mantis blade, while the bishop bee’s stinger is hidden in her left palm. And on her back, (they might just serve like extra arms,) there are those super sharp rook spider claws, two of them, sticking out like spears. Finally, she has spikes coming out of her feet and tough hooves growing from under.

Wow. It’s like Rem got a ton of improvements all at once. I can’t wait to see how she does in battle.

“Uhh, yeah, Momokawa?” called Rando-san with a neutral expression, a complete contrast from me who’s been feeling way too much excitement than I knew what to do with, “It’s not very cute.”

I mean, she’s technically a tool for battle so, I wanted to say in defense, but I only said, “Okay.”

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