Dungeon Defense (WN)

Lunch went by without any issues.

The maids headed to the underground prison.

There were ten prisoners locked up in this prison. They were all looking down with haggard expressions, but they all screamed simultaneously as soon as Daisy entered the prison.

“Uaaaagh! It’s the crazy servant! The crazy servant is back!”

“Oh, Goddess! Please let me survive another day…….”

The prisoners ran back to the furthest corners of their cells as they trembled in fear. It seems this 14-year-old girl looked like the Grim Reaper to them. Despite the sudden chaos, Daisy gave a calm explanation.

“Father is normally tolerant of adventurers. However, he is cruel towards soldiers pretending to be adventurers. They are all a part of a unit from the Habsburg Republic.”

“Haa. I see.”

Ivar raised the basket of food that was in her arms.

“That is fine. We brought the right amount.”

Daisy smiled like an angel.

“We plan to decrease their number to three soon anyway.”

“…….”

“Miss Ivar, you can learn by watching me work from behind today.”

Ivar had already picked a skewer off of a shelf.

There was congealed blood attached to the tip of the skewer. Ivar was certain that this person, who was supposed to be her teacher, had deliberately brought her here after eating lunch.

‘She’s trying to make me vomit by showing me a brutal sight.’

Ivar scoffed at how obvious and childish this ploy was.

There was no race as used to blood and torture as vampires. This 14-year-old child was incredibly clever and sly for her age, but the wall between races was probably uncrossable for her.

“I will begin now.”

Daisy chose one of the cells and opened the door.

And then.

“Guaaaaagh!”

“S-Spare me! I’ll do anything you want!”

“I am telling the truth…… I do not know what orders were given from above…….”

“Mommy…… hggh, mommy…….”

Two hours later.

The dark floor of the prison was drenched in blood and guts. Daisy stopped torturing the very instant seven prisoners were killed.

Ivar was frozen in place like a statue after having watched everything from start to finish. Her face was as pale as a sheet of paper.

“It is rather interesting. If you hammer a nail in a human’s head, then they will start convulsing like a fish.”

Daisy wiped the blood off of her cheek. She didn’t look particularly tired after having tortured people for two hours straight.

“They continue to move even after death. You also learn that internal organs all have their own unique colors if you observe them carefully. These are the wonders of the body.”

“……That really is interesting.”

“Yes. Miss Ivar, please give the remaining three prisoners their meals now.”

Daisy smiled brightly while holding the blood-soaked torture devices in her hands.

“See? We brought the exact amount.”

“…….”

Ivar didn’t have dinner later that day.

However, that first day was on the good side.

This devilish child left the torture to Ivar on the second day. She handed the instruments of torture to Ivar saying that she must’ve learned enough from watching the other day. Ivar answered saying that she wasn’t particularly confident, but Daisy reassured her.

“It is fine if you do not do well. No, it is better if you do not.”

“May I ask why, Teacher?”

“Because this is torture. Try taking this casually as a way to practice.”

That response came out without any hesitation whatsoever.

Ivar made a sour face.

“Practice, is it?”

“Yes. Practice. It does not matter if you end up killing them.”

The prisoner struggled desperately as he overheard the conversation between the two maids in front of him.

“Mmf!? Mm! Mmmfb! Mm!”

Ivar pitied the sinless human. Well, they probably weren’t entirely sinless. Nonetheless, how bad could his crimes have been to get caught by a child like this?

Unfortunately, Ivar couldn’t back down now. Her pride as a vampire would cry if she let herself get overwhelmed by a human child. Ivar did her best to cut open the prisoner’s stomach and slice their guts.

“Make a large laceration in the lungs. It is fine. We have more than enough potions. Mm. That was good, but it was not large enough. Let me show you.”

“Mmb, mmmmmbf!?”

“On the other hand, use the smallest possible knife when dealing with the heart.”

The second day went by like that…….

As time passed, the fact that the first day was on the good side became engraved deeper into Ivar’s mind. The girl’s bizarre side didn’t end at only one or two things. She was like an onion with many layers.

Her first eccentricity.

The girl would occasionally stop abruptly in the middle of the hallway. Every time she did, her shoulders would shake slightly and her face would go red.

“Teacher, is something the matter? Are you perhaps hurt somewhere?”

Ivar asked in a somewhat concerned tone while hiding her true thoughts that hoped the girl actually was hurt.

Daisy’s cheeks were red, but that was it. Her expression didn’t change at all as she answered.

“It is nothing. My brother is currently masturbating.”

“……Excuse me?”

“I told you before that there is a slime inside of me. It is because of that. This slime shares its senses with another slime, and that slime happens to be in my blood-related brother’s possession.”

Furthermore, my brother is a pubescent boy who masturbates with that slime day in and day out, Daisy added at the end.

“Do not worry. My brother’s masturbation lasts on average 4 minutes and 30 seconds. We only have to wait for another 3 minutes. Please wait momentarily.”

“…….”

Daisy started to walk again exactly 3 minutes later.

“It seems it only lasted 4 minutes and 11 seconds today. I do hope he continues to be a premature ejaculator like this.”

“…….”

“Now then, Miss Ivar. Let us clean the hallway.”

This bizarre sight happened at least once and at most three times a day. There was a time that Ivar let out a complaint because she thought that it happened too often. Once she did, Daisy gave a simple answer, ‘My brother recently broke up with his lover, so it cannot be helped’.

Ivar had to adjust her opinion.

The girl wasn’t just crazy. She was a perverted lunatic, a megalomaniac, and a mental patient. Ivar thought she would go mad whenever she had to watch Daisy suddenly stand still and close her eyes for four minutes while in the middle of cleaning or torturing.

Her second eccentricity.

Daisy would sexually harass Ivar a fair bit. She would bring her body close and furtively bump into Ivar. At first, Ivar thought she just had to be more mindful of the other person.

However, once Daisy went beyond merely bumping bodies and went as far as to brush the back of her hand against Ivar’s butt and thighs, Ivar realized the severity of the situation. This little girl wasn’t satisfied with only torturing Ivar mentally and was resorting to sexually assaulting her physically!

“Teacher.”

Ivar gave a warning in a quiet but firm tone.

“When it comes to tasks related to my work, I am ready to accept and learn all of them. Even if the tasks are irrational, I do not care as long as I am helping His Highness Dantalian. However, if you intend to harass me regardless of my duty, then I will inform the others.”

“I apologize.”

Did Ivar’s warning work?

The girl who looked like she lacked blood, tears, and brain cells finally apologized. Ivar felt relieved. Thankfully, it seems there was still a sliver of rationality left inside of the child. This was what Ivar thought.

However, the words that followed made Ivar’s head go empty again.

“My hand went out unconsciously because of how charming Miss Ivar is.”

“……Pardon me?”

There was a moment of silence. Ivar gulped. She couldn’t control her trembling voice.

“T-Teacher, I am a girl……though?”

“I know. I also have eyes.”

Daisy responded.

“Referentially, I am a lesbian.”

After that day, the number of times Ivar and Daisy conversed decreased drastically.

In other words, the girl known as Daisy was crazy about getting soaked in blood and torturing people, has a slime inside her at all times, believes that the slime squirms when her blood-related brother masturbates, and she also happens to be a lesbian.

Ivar has never met or heard about someone this insane during the past 3,000 years of her life.

Finally, a month passed since she became a maid.

“Chancellor, I apologize, but I can no longer take this!”

Ivar went to the Chancellor’s office. You could say that Ivar had superhuman patience when you consider that she managed to endure this for a whole month. Most heroes would’ve probably surrendered by the second day.

“The Head Maid is a lunatic! Please do not think of this as someone simply complaining about their superior. I can recount forty-seven perverted things the Head Maid has done off the top of my head!”

“Miss Ivar.”

Lapis stared at Ivar impassively.

“I apologize but the order of this organization depends on this. The Head Maid’s authority would become flimsy if I were to suddenly assign you a new position.”

“But Chancellor……!”

Ivar shouted desperately, almost on the brink of tears.

“The Head Maid already touched my thighs five times today! This kind of treatment is incomprehensible!”

“Only five times?”

Lapis tilted her head.

“His Highness Dantalian has a habit of taking Military Affairs Minister Laura, while she is on a walk, and having intercourse with her for five hours. Compared to that, the Head Maid’s actions are incredibly sound.”

“…….”

What in God’s name is up with this Demon Lord Castle? Ivar’s head felt like it was ringing.

“B-But His Highness Dantalian is the ruler of this castle. That is an exception. The Head Maid cannot be put on the same ground.”

“The Head Maid is also His Highness’ personally adopted daughter. Moreover, she also made two sizable contributions during the previous war. She is undeniably worthy enough to be allowed some special privileges.”

“Uugh…….”

This inflexible half-succubus!

Ivar became enraged. From a systematic viewpoint, Lapis was right. However, Ivar was someone who leads an organization, not a footsoldier who gets sacrificed for one.

It couldn’t be helped. Ivar decided to pull out her trump card.

“Rank 1 Office Worker Lapis Lazuli. It is me. I am your employer, Ivar Lodbrok.”

“……?”

Lapis gave Ivar a confused gaze.

“I did not receive a report telling me that Miss Ivar has mythomania.”

“It is not surprising that you do not believe me, but it is the truth. The Ivar Lodbrok you have seen until now was a doll that I have been controlling.”

Lapis naturally didn’t give her the time of day.

After desperately trying to convince Lapis for a while, Ivar finally got a chance to prove herself. She used a teleportation scroll to teleport to Keuncuska with Lapis and took her to a secret room. It was there that she showed Lapis her doll manipulation ability.

Lapis raised her brows in surprise.

“So Miss Ivar really is Lodbrok.”

“Do you believe me now, Lapis Lazuli?”

“Yes, Chief.”

Ivar was moved.

Finally, she was going to be free from that crazy and perverted human.

“Now please hear me out. I swear to the Goddess that that human child is not your normal lunatic. I want to get away from under her as soon as possible.”

“Please wait.”

Lapis dug through her coat pocket and took out a piece of parchment. She respectfully handed the piece of paper to Ivar. Ivar’s brow twitched.

“What is this?”

“My letter of resignation.”

What?

“I had resolved myself to fully go under His Highness Dantalian as his vassal a long time ago. However, I was unable to get the opportunity to give you my letter of resignation. What a coincidence. Thank you for all this time.”

“…….”

Ivar was so shocked that he responded like a girl in the body of an old man.

“T-Then what about my workplace?”

“It will stay unchanged as the Head Maid’s assistant.”

It felt like Lapis had become the king of the underworld and she was sentencing someone to hell.

She bowed deeply.

“I hope we get along well, ‘Miss’ Ivar Lodbrok.”

“…….”

Ivar cursed the world.

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. Poor Ivar. She has a long path ahead of her. I sort of wish this segment was longer, but oh well.

On a note about my health, I’ve mostly recovered from Covid, but the post-covid symptoms are hitting me now. I’m still coughing and I just constantly feel lightheaded. It’s sort of hard to explain my symptoms fully because they come and go. I’ll just do my best to recover during this upcoming holiday. It’s a relief that the contagious part of Covid is mostly gone now since I have to visit relatives this weekend. Although I probably won’t be visiting them long since I don’t want to risk it too much.

Welp, I’ll see you guys in the next chapter.

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