All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure

The deer meat had lasted the humans a few days. Mary quickly seized the meat and rationed it out so that it wasn't wasted. People were very grateful to have the fresh food and went out of their way to thank me. I didn't know why they were thanking me, though; their application was much better directed toward Cliff. Without her, there would be no meat. She was the one who wanted to go hunting, the one to track the prey, and even the one to kill it. I only carried it back.

Still, they didn't listen. I gave up trying to explain to them that they should be thanking the wolf. That was another of the many recent changes in the castle. I picked up from context clues that Cliff wasn't, in fact, a dog but rather a wolf. Who would have thought? Certainly not me. Apparently, the difference was mostly that dogs were domesticated, so it was a perfectly understandable mistake.

Some of the other changes were a lot more expected than a large dog turning out to be a wolf. The humans were starting to get much more organized. All of them moved about their tasks with more purpose than before. They started several new projects as well. Even if I didn't fully understand what all of them were.

I wasn't sure what they were doing with the massive beams and piles of large rocks by the entrance to the castle, but it sure was exciting to see them start to figure things out. Beatrice would report what was going on to me, but I didn't always understand. That was okay; humans would do human things. As long as they kept it safe, I was glad they were working on their efficiency.

One morning, when I was overseeing the children's exercise, they began talking amongst themselves. We had just finished up a round of projectile blocking and dodging and transitioned to one-on-one play fights. It gave them a chance to rest and also gave them some time to socialize while waiting for their turns.

"Bee said we're getting a name, 'like a real religion'." One of them broached the topic of the group's name. I hadn't really cared what the humans called themselves, but it seemed important to them. Especially the children. I was just happy they were organizing.

"Does that mean we're all Voidlings now or somethin'?" One of the kids watching the pair hitting each other with sticks asked. The others were sitting in a circle around the current match.

The boy sitting next to him frowned. "I guess. But we have our own group too, right? We also need a cool name!"

Excited voices chorused agreement at the idea. I guess I could understand the desire to name things. It was a good way to categorize and order them, after all. If the kids picked one, it would be useful for me. Then I could call them something other than "the kids."

That was no good. So far, I didn't have the best track record with names. Humans were much better with them. If they wanted to name themselves, then they should! I rotated side to side and told them as much. Instantly the kids all perked up and started talking at once.

Felix took control of the discussion. "We could be, like, the Super Warrior Knight Defenders of the Castle!"

"Or the Mega Sword Masters of Justice!"

"No, we should be the Secret Special Forces Squadron!"

A girl rolled her eyes. "Those are all dumb. And too long."

"Oh yeah? How 'bout you do better?" One of the boys challenged

She tossed her hair over one shoulder. "I think we should be Friendship Fighters."

The boys snickered and received a glare in return. Before the debate could heat up anymore, Leanne spoke up. "How about we do something based on a void?"

"Huh? That'll sound like we run away all the time then."

"That's avoid, doofus. She said a void. Two words."

"Oh. What's a void?"

"It's like a hole or a pit or something. I think."

The kids fell into silence for a moment, thinking.

"How 'bout the Sneaky Snakes?" Tanu suggested. "Snakes live in holes."

"Mighty Moles!"

"The Super Deep Holes!"

"The Best Team of Fighters!" One of the younger kids yelled.

"Wait, what does that have to do with voids?" Leanne asked. The boy looked down bashfully and didn't say anything.

"How about… something dark and stuff? That might be cooler." Felix said. "Holes aren't scary."

"I don't want to be scary," one of the girls whined. "Are you sure we can't have 'friends' in the name?"

"No," a bunch of the kids chorused. I was impressed at their cohesiveness. Felix elaborated. "We need to fight for the castle and Void! So we gotta scare all the enemies away!"

"How about the Stinky Smelly Butts!" One of the kids managed through his own laughter. Half of the boys doubled over laughing as well. The girl who insisted on 'friendship' apparently decided that was unacceptable and smacked him in the shin with her stick. The loud crack echoed for a second in the silence.

"No. We're getting a good name." She said seriously.

These kids were something. The sense of order and purposeful organization that had enveloped the adults wasn't making much progress with them. In a way, I was grateful for that, though. The kids were very entertaining to watch. My models were incredibly bad at predicting their actions, and often, they did things completely against their own interests. It was great for expanding my understanding of human behavior.

Eventually, in the midst of the brewing argument, one of the smaller boys sitting next to me piped up. "We should be the Nighty Knights!"

Silence fell over the group. I looked around, confused, when everyone broke out in raucous laughter. "The Nighty Knights?!"

"What, are we gonna read the bad guys bedtime stories?"

An older, burly boy wiped a tear from his eye. "That's like, the least scary name ever! How are you gonna strike fear into anyone with a name like The Nighty Knights?!"

The small boy pouted. "It's totally scary! And it's a catchphrase too! Like, when you go to beat up a bad guy, you can go Nighty Knight and whack him in the head and he goes to sleep!"

The laughter continued. Analyzing the name, I realized that it was indeed quite funny. The dual meaning of the words, the unexpected nature of their combination, and the follow-up reasoning that the boy had given - it all combined to result in a really good joke! I let out a chime of laughter and approval myself, enjoying the humor.

The boy crossed his arms and raised his chin defiantly. "See? Void likes it!"

The laughter quieted. Felix looked over at me with wide eyes. "Are you sure, master Void?"

Of course, I told him. It was definitely funny, by most definitions of humor, that I had come to understand. I mean, everyone else was laughing, too.

Felix looked at the others. Many of them shrugged back. "Then… if Void likes it, then we'll be the Nighty Knights!"

The boy grinned at me, elated at the group's choice. He even gave me an appreciative head pat. I accepted it gladly.

***

After a session of training the Nighty Knights, there was a disturbance at the gates. I made my way over to the sound of raised voices.

On the other side of the gate, I saw five rough-looking men. They carried swords on their hips and had shields slung over their backs. Dirty red coats covered their torsos. The coats seemed identical in style and color, excluding the damage and grime, of course.

Inside the gate, there had gathered a few of the people out working the fields with Trent. When I showed up, the people on our side of the wall quieted down and looked at me. After a few seconds, the men on the other side got the message, and they, too, calmed down.

"Lord Void." One of the young men, named Tai, addressed me. Tai and his wife had found their way to us several days ago. After Tony had talked with them for a bit and they rested up, they both joined the rest of the members of the castle as productive members of society. The young man had joined Trent in the fields and, through some hard work and overall competence, made himself an invaluable member of the team.

"Lord Void. What should we do? These men are demanding entry while armed. I don't think that it is prudent to let them in just yet."

"Ahem." A cough sounded from one of the men outside the wall. "I think there has been a misunderstanding. We are not 'demanding entry'. We simply asked to be let in so we could speak to whoever is in charge."

He peered through the gate. "And where is this 'Lord Void' you speak of?"

Tai whirled around with venom in his eyes. "Show some respect. You stand in the presence of the Lord Void." He said, pointing emphatically at me. "You should be on your knees."

The man coughed again, turning his face to the side. Were these rough-looking men sick? I wasn't about to let germ-ridden people enter the castle without a thorough inspection and cleaning. I ran my sensors over them but was unable to pick anything specific up. That didn't clear them. My sensors were really good at picking up germs on flat, nonporous surfaces. Humans, however, always returned as teeming with germs. It was too risky to try and disinfect them with my Sanitation Lamp, so I had to let them be. Beatrice would need to take a look at them first.

The man looked Tai in his eyes and flinched back. "Oh, you were serious? Uh, well. Hello, Lord Void."

I could tell that Tai was about to make a very angry response, but he didn't have the chance as the man quickly cut him off. As he spoke, he inclined a slightly unsteady bow in my direction. "Would you let us in? So we may talk."

No. No, I would not. Not until Beatrice had a chance to look over them. I explained this, but I didn't think that anyone here understood me. Hmm, not being able to communicate properly was always so frustrating. To get my point across, I pointed at them with my Grabby Arm, then at the ground by their feet. They jumped a little, but I wasn't sure why.

I zipped off to go get Beatrice. She wasn't too hard to find. She was over in the second-story rooms with Maranda. The two of them had been spending a lot of time together up there with their glass tubes. Really, it felt like they were here whenever Beatrice wasn't attending to one of her many other tasks. Such as teaching the children. Or writing in one of her many books. Or, most common of all, talking to all the adults. Really, she did a lot. Everyone seemed to have an endless stream of questions for her. I think she enjoyed coming up here to get away from all that. Well, I had to pull her away from her fun.

"Someone might be sick?" She exclaimed, grabbing a few things from the storage cabinets in haste. Once she was ready, she ran after me. We made it back to the gate only a few minutes after I had left. Luckily, nothing had changed.

The man from the other side of the wall had a very confused look on his face. When he saw Beatrice, he asked, "Uh excuse me miss? Can you let me know what's going on here? I am quite confused."

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