All the Dust that Falls: A Roomba Isekai Adventure
Chapter 139: Dressing Down"No? Really? I thought that one might have worked. Darn." Trent kept speaking, which only deepened the growing pit of horror in Bee's stomach. "How about… The Endless Cult! Ya know, 'cause Void's eternal?"
"W-what!" Bee spluttered. "You want us to get ostracized as some crazy cultists?!"
Trent opened his mouth to defend himself. He was still clearly holding back laughter, but Bee cut him off. "We are not a cult! We don't want people to think we are a cult! Don't put cult in the name!"
She took a steadying breath but didn't fully manage to suppress her irritation. "We can have a Void related name without sounding like we're going to sacrifice innocents in our free time."
Sitting back in the chair, she started to pay more attention to the people around her. Gasping sounds were audible from underneath the table where Tony had disappeared a while back. Mary had her face in her hands. Trent just stared at her with an altogether too pleased grin. Only Susan looked confused.
Bee sighed. "You're just winding me up, aren't you?"
Tony's head popped up over the edge of the table as he pulled himself into his seat. His face was red and tear-streaked." Of course not, Bee. I mean, think about it. The Anti-Stair Association is a really nonthreatening name."
Bee glared at him. He grinned back, matching his father's expression. "Okay, okay, maybe not that one. I've got some ideas too." Tony continued, now fully back in his seat. "How about… the Society of the Unspotted?"
"ITS NAME IS NOT SPOT!" Bee yelled. The small room made her voice sound even louder, making everyone cover their ears.
"I know. That is why it's the Unspotted. Duh. Also, with the focus on cleanliness? Works perfectly." Tony said. Trent shot him an unreasonably proud look."No. Just… no." Bee said, shaking her head in despair. Asking for names was a huge mistake, and she should have just named it herself. "Let's at least try to be serious here. Leave Spot out of it."
"What's this about a spot?" Mary asked, finally uncovering her face. Now she looked genuinely confused. Susan and Trent also nodded, similarly intrigued. Tony shot Bee a pointed look, and she could practically hear his voice saying, "Do you want to explain or should I?"
"I-its nothing. Don't worry about it." Bee said dejectedly. Clearly, that wasn't going to cut it.
With a huge grin, Tony opened his mouth to explain. She considered cutting him off but just gave up and slumped back into her chair in defeat.
"So the actual name of my class is Devotee of Spot." Tony said. "Bee is a Priestess of Spot. Her theory is that, somehow, Void is messing with the system and pretending to be named Spot. As well as faking other things."
"That's… that's hard to believe." Susan said.
"I know messing with the system should be impossible, but who could know with gods?" Bee defended her point.
"No, no. It's hard to believe that Void's name would be Spot. I think I agree with Bee. The idea that godly powers can mess with the system makes much more sense." Susan mused. "We really have no idea how powerful true gods are. For all we know they exist outside of the system and really can control how they interface with it. They may even control the whole thing for all we know."
Bee shot Tony a look of vindication. Mary and Trent just looked at each other and shrugged.
"I could see wanting to keep Spot out of the name then. We need to be aware of this anyway though, especially if you're going to give other people the Devotee of Spot class. News will spread quickly then. I don't think it'll be an issue, but you never know." Mary said.
"Actually it could be a huge boon if we can prevent it from becoming public." Susan said. "Supposedly the head inquisitor is rumored to have Scan. That means if he scans any of our people, but thinks that our god is named Void, then they might not make the connection. It's not much, but might help in some cases."
"Okay, okay. Serious names then?" Trent said with nearly a perfectly straight face. Mary gave him a withering look that he appeared to ignore. At Bee's nod, he continued. "Well maybe we should keep on with the cleaning theme. So what about something like the Order of the Unstained?"
Bee actually paused for a second. Was that actually… not bad? Surprisingly she found that it wasn't horrible on its face, but something didn't sit right. Mary, though, was having none of it. "Trent dear, the goal is not to sound like an extra zealous cult. Just because cult isn't in the name doesn't mean it counts."
Trent grimaced. "Fine, fine, I can see when my help isn't wanted."
Susan cleared her throat. "We can go with something more straightforward. Maybe something like Defenders of Order."
"Boooooo!" Choursed Tony and his father. Bee was embarrassed to agree. That was kind of boring. But then, did she have any better ideas?
"Society from Between the Stars!" Bee exclaimed triumphantly. Scanning the people in front of her, she was only met with blank looks.
After an awkward silence, Tony spoke up. "Why?"
"Uh, well… A void is an empty space and from Capernaloe's theory there is nothing between stars. So you know, its Void." Not seeing any interest from the people around her, Bee trailed off. "I thought it was some clever wordplay."
"I'm sure it is honey." Mary said kindly. "I think we might need to keep it a bit more accessible so that everyone understands it, though. Unless you want it to be only for the elites?"
Bee shook her head. "I thought so. Then may I suggest Keepers of the Path?"
Everyone shrugged, it wasn't anyone's favorite, but they weren't able to discard it out of hand.
"What about The Voidlings?" Tony asked with a grin.
"That could be what the people are called, but doesn't sound like the name of an organization." Susan objected. Sure, THAT's her problem with it, Bee thought, rolling her eyes.
"We might as well be Followers of the Void in that case," Mary responded.
"Oh, I know." Trent said, offering a suggestion for the first time in a while. Bee braced herself for a really bad idea as he was already breaking into a grin. "The Order! Or, better yet, the Order of Order!"
"How about The Order of the Purehearted?" Mary asked, ignoring Trent's last suggestion like everyone else. Expert for Tony, who gave him a thumbs up.
"That might work." Bee said. There was nothing that she loved yet. "Uh, of all those suggestions, it's either that or Followers of the Void. We don't need to decide now, but does anyone have a preference?"
"I think we should keep it simple and go with Followers of the Void," Mary said.
"I second that." Susan said.
"Y'all are no fun." Trent pouted. "But if I have to choose between those, I think The Order of the Pureheared sounds less culty."
Bee looked at Tony, who just shrugged. "I think we can stick with either for now. We can always change it later if we think of something better."
"Okay.Then tentatively, we shall be known as Followers of the Void." Bee said, and they all sat back in their chairs, slightly unsatisfied. "Wait, we had important things to talk about before we got all sidetracked."
Trent whistled innocently.
---
Cliff walked in front of me as we traveled. I lifted the body of the animal she killed with a combination of Air Manipulation and my Grabby Arm. I never did figure out what she wanted, but she seemed satisfied enough with the situation as I carried her kill for her.
If following Cliff on the way through the forest was difficult, coming back was a hundred times harder while carrying the huge burden behind me. The animal's funny hat wanted to catch on every little branch and brush. I had to work diligently to prevent it from knocking down small trees; I didn't always succeed.
Even though it was heavier than the small dogs I had carried earlier, it was easier to manage. I didn't feel it straining my circuits nearly as much. Maybe I had gotten better at the Air Manipulation skill, or maybe just it being in one piece helped. My claw certainly was necessary. I wasn't able to keep it from dragging on the ground without it pitching in.
After a much longer trip back through the woods, we finally made it back to the castle. Cliff wandered out of sight a few times to investigate various smells but never long enough that I started to worry.
I left the body by the gate while I boosted over the wall to let us inside. As I started opening the portcullis, I found that I wasn't alone. Silas was out smoking a pipe on the castle steps. When he saw me, he got up and wandered over. At first, I thought he was going to help me finish opening the gate, but he just watched as I finished.
"Whatcha got there?" He muttered. Cliff slipped through the open gate and made the old man jump a little before he recognized the dog. Once I got the portcullis up enough, I went out and grabbed the load. I levitated it just inside before shutting the gate again.
"Well, that's a nice buck!" Silas whistled, taking his pipe out of his mouth as he leaned down to inspect it. "Not dressed yet though."
He shot a look over to Cliff before looking back at the "buck." Moving over to the other side, he continued. "Only two bites. Cliff must have had a clean hunt. I don't think I've ever seen a wolf kill so clean.' Course, by the time I usually find them they're half eaten. Takes a lot for a wolf to leave a fresh kill. Though I never saw none so well trained neither."
I finished with the gate and honestly had no idea what to do next. Cliff was just sitting close to her kill, watching Silas suspiciously. Silas got down on one knee and looked over at me, his belt knife half drawn. "I can dress this if you would like."
In a less respectful voice, he muttered something to himself. "Usually the one who makes the kill dresses, but seeing as it was a wolf and god I can't expect that much."
Watching curiously, I wasn't sure how he was going to dress the kill. He had no extra clothes near him and didn't seem about to go get any. Not that he would be able to find any that fit. So I had to assume that he meant something else, even if I didn't have a good idea what that was.
I beeped in assent. As I watched the older man get to work, I realized that I had, in fact, made an incorrect assumption. He was not dressing up the "buck" at all. In fact, he was dissecting it. I looked on in astonishment as the buck was separated into parts. A lot of the insides were tossed to Cliff, who happily ate them and then carried some off to the other dogs too. She was soon back, ready to accept any other offcasts.
As he worked, Silas talked. I wouldn't say he was talking to me exactly, as he never looked my way, but he explained what he was doing. Why each cut was made and what each piece was, and a few of its uses. It was fascinating. "You need to remove the intestines and organs. There's waste in there and if they get punctured they could spoil the rest of the meat. There are things you can do to use 'em, but we don't need 'em and the wolf is here to clean up after."
I paused and considered. It really was like cleaning. Things needed to be done in the right order to keep everything all neat and healthy. Just like it was not a good idea to vacuum the floor before dusting the drapes. I watched carefully; next time, I would try this myself. It seemed right to make sure nothing was wasted, and everything was done in the proper order. Of course, I would try not to get blood everywhere like Silas was doing right now.
I idly popped out my mop and cleaned up the reddish stains that seeped into the ground. Might as well help out where I could.
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