Chapter 22
@Lemon: It’s live tonight at 8:00 pm [meow meow]
As soon as the announcement post was sent out, all kinds of troops rushed in to attack with the expression pack.
— @FanA: The cat climbing tree is ready! [FathersLoveIsLikeAMountain.gif]
— @FanB: I’ve been keeping watch since 8 o’clock in the morning, are you telling me it doesn’t start broadcasting until 8 at night? [AngryPufferfish.gif]
— @FanC: Is there a ♂ room with Porn Anchor tonight? [DaddyIsLookingForwardToIt.gif]
In the pandemonium of foul comments, Ling Meng discovered an unexpected clear stream section, with lovely big lemon Q-version images looking particularly refreshing among the many real-life expression packs.
– @Lemon: Wow, super cute! Did you draw them yourself?
– @LittleFlyingTeddy: Yes! Does Lemon Dad like it? I’ll draw some more!
So Ling Meng harvested a lot of big lemons, ones that were animated and ones that were showing their teeth in laughter. He replaced all the avatars on his Penguin Weibo app and happily made LittleFlyingTeddy a housekeeper in return.
Ling Meng, who was streaming with a big lemon avatar, was in a good mood until he saw a shiny big mango as Mangosteen’s avatar in the broadcast room.
He quickly checked Penguin Weibo; sure enough, the other had changed all his avatars to the same style.
– @Lemon: What happened! Why does Mang God have the same avatar style as me!?!
– @LittleFlyingTeddy: He came to me and said he adored the sight of you…… aren’t you gay friends anyway?
This fake mango mangosteen! So much of his own powder, yet he tricked my powder into drawing his avatar!
Ling Meng, panting with rage, refused invitations to open a team room from Mangosteen twice in a row.
“I don’t want to live stream the game today.”
— What’s this miscellaneous broadcast, dancing? Isn’t that the job of the Ghost-dage in the back?
— I love watching Lemon Daddy’s lame broadcast too.
— (Small Strokes) live stream passionate…naked…chatting.
[Announcement] Housekeeper Mangosteen banned the user, Small Strokes, for one hour.
“Why is this guy with the cheating avatar here again?”
Housekeeper Mangosteen: I’m the housekeeper. Of course I’m making the rounds.
“Was your original avatar no good?”
Housekeeper Mangosteen: The new avatar is more meng.
— Really meng.
— Extremely meng.
— Eaten together with Lemon Dad’s avatar, it’s exceptionally meng.
The water friends suggested:
— Since you don’t want to stream games, just eat a mango live.
“Mango?” Ling Meng chuckled, “If he eats a lemon live, I’ll eat a mango live.”
Ling Meng didn’t mention him by name, but everyone knew it well. Gathering together to make a fuss, they asked Mang God to eat a lemon live.
Housekeeper Mangosteen: I won’t eat a lemon on stream.
“If you don’t stream, who would know if you ate it or not?”
Housing Mangosteen: The lemon would know.
Ling Meng was confused, until the barrage was full of “to drive without saying a word“, and then he realized the words held a deeper meaning.
“Where is the new housekeeper? Quickly ban him!”
Housekeeper LittleFlyingTeddy: Lemon Dad, I’m here! Mang God is the big housekeeper, I’m just the second housekeeper, I can’t control him, ah ╮(╯▽╰)╭
Ling Meng suddenly remembered someone on Weibo posted a B Station video he hadn’t watched yet.
“I’ll broadcast watching a video.”
He found the link and clicked on it. The name of the video was “Don’t want to mine, just want to make waves.”
Ling Meng regretted it immediately and was filled with ominous foreboding.
“This doesn’t look very good, let’s forget it.”
— No! It looks great at first glance! Look at it!
— Look look look look look!
— Watch your own VOD and cry!
(t/n: VOD, video on demand, aka stream archive)
Ling Meng was forced to watch the video against his will. A familiar BGM sounded, the song “Happy” that Ling Meng played during the stream yesterday.
— My Dad’s BGM, how domineering it is!
— Just listening to the prelude inspires me to save the planet!
— I can sing all of yesterday’s RAP!
The video had just begun and suddenly Ling Meng understood. This was a ghost beast video of clips from the stream he did yesterday with Shan Zhu. The video was split in two, with Mang God’s game interface on the left and on the right, he himself mining and shaking his head back and forth.
At the very start of the video, a clip of his conversation with Shan Zhu:
Lemon Dad: “I don’t want to mine, I just want to make waves.”
Mang God: “Do as you please.”
Then Mang God fought with his opponent and Lemon Dad drove a small mine car happily to dig everywhere.
Ling Meng: …
He didn’t know how totally devoted he was to digging yesterday!
— Newcomer friends in the audience, take notice, this is the same game! Furthermore, it’s even the same match!
— Male left, lemon right, full marks! UP Main super knows!
— I can laugh at this for a year 233333
— Highlights ahead! Lemon Dad is about to use the big move: summoning the spirit behind him!
“I remember that I didn’t dig anymore when I got to that place.
“This video was definitely processed.
“The timeline is wrong.”
— Lemon Daddy’s forced explanation, the 300,000 viewers who were at the scene disagree.
— You’re Daddy, you’re exactly who you are.
“I didn’t say- originally just like-!” Ling Meng struggled at length to make an argument.
The video entered the climax; the left side of the picture: Mang God led the lizard army to kill and slaughter, a warrior whom none could withstand; the right side of the picture: Lemon Dad was addicted to mining and couldn’t extricate himself. Behind him, there was a robust man feverishly doing the Samba.
Left sound track:
“You have destroyed the enemy’s atomic battery.”
“You have destroyed the enemy’s nuclear power plant.”
“You have destroyed the enemy’s radar.”
Right sound track:
“Mining in the east, ah, digging in the west, picking up a cartful of ore and happily~~returning~~ home~~”
Ling Meng covered his eyes: No, this isn’t me, who is this?
— Lemon Dad can’t watch it anymore, hahaha.
— Don’t run away from reality!
“I’m telling you this is definitely not me. This UP Main is too much. How can they P-picture?”
— Video P-picture, UP Main is a model worker!
“It’s impossible for me to make this expression, slander, it’s absolute slander.”
— He is exactly who he is! Young hero Lemon Daddy!
“Where did they find this actor, he looks just like me.”
— Typecast actor, expensive acting salary, one hundred.
“The voice actor is also good, the mouth flap is right.”
— Did the UP Main hear that? CV compensation will also increase by one hundred.
— Lemon Dad has activated chatter mode.
— My Lemon Dad Community, there’s a lot of ruthless talk here!
“This UP Main is definitely doing something, I’m telling you.
“This is my blackening, my deep blackening.
“Absolutely must’ve been defeated by me, 100%.
“The left side must have been sped up, how else could the lizards run so fast?
“Playing both sides together, looking at how awesome it is, how can you not spread your legs?”
“This fucking composition is awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, winning the lottery – awesome strong composition.
(t/n: this whole sentence is really vulgar, he’s saying 牛逼 over and over, which means ox vagina and is slang for awesome)
“I just wanted to give my teammate more time to perform.
“No, no, I couldn’t have mined for so long, I just dug a little.”
The video ended with a close-up of the enemy base being blown up and Lemon’s overflowing resources. For the coda, the motif was replayed in slow motion.
Lemon Dad: I don’t want to mine, I just want to make waves.
Lemon Dad: Don’t—want—to—mine—just—make—waves—
Lemon Dad: just—–make ——waves——-
Mang God: As long as you’re happy.
Ling Meng threw his earphones: “As I said before, looking at the title, you can see it’s not going to be good.”
Half a minute later, Ling Meng picked the headphones back up again: “It’s a little funny, let’s watch again…”
—
Footnotes:
1. Q-version (Q版): chibi style
2. bearing fangs (呲牙): expression for the ?? emoji with teeth showing in the mouth
3. gay friends (基友): slang for close friends of the same sex
4. dage (大哥): honorific meaning elder brother
5. lame (抠脚): internet slang for very boring, when the content creator isn’t doing anything visible to the public
6. to drive without saying a word (一言不合就开车): to share erotic words and images, usually by someone with a lot of resources (old driver); reference to a Yunnan folk song
7. ghost beast (鬼畜): literally to inflict suffering; slang for a video editing technique that clips together dialogue and BGM as a joke, some sounds are sped up and looped (inflicting suffering on the ear)
8. Up Main (UP主): Original uploader for video and audio files
9. The left is for males, the right is for females (男左女右): Male left, right lemon is a reference to this traditional saying
10. P-picture (P图): abbreviation of PS picture, using photoshop for image editing
11. Model worker (劳模): short for model of labor, an outstanding laborer in a socialist society
—
UP Main is my idol ?
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