You Boys Play Games Very Well

76-78: This screenshot is instantly an SSR!

Chapter 76

Shan Zhu received the keys to his new house and had permission to move his stuff in.

It had taken Shan Zhu a long time to finalize the new house in order to find one that met all his requirements – furnished apartment, convenient transportation, located in the e-sports town; all in the goal of aiding his future development plans.

The only downside was that the apartment was about a thirty minute drive from the University City. Because of this, his plan to move Ling Meng in while still in school was ruined.

Shan Zhu converted the two-bedroom apartment into a semi-residential/semi-office unit with a personal studio, keeping only one bedroom and using the other as a dedicated broadcast room. He got a whole new computer and streaming equipment set-up, so that he didn’t look like an amateur anchor anymore. The equipment he previously used was set up right next to it, so that Ling Meng could stream here together with him on the weekends.

At the urging of the darling, curious powder, Ling Meng chose an auspicious day and made an introductory stream of Shan Zhu’s apartment.

“This is Mang God’s studio, it looks professional, doesn’t it?” Ling Meng showcased Shan Zhu’s equipment from every angle, “It’s said that the price of this high-capacitance mic starts at four digits, do you all think Mang God is going to transform himself into a music anchor?”

The barrage was filled with comments asking Mang God to sing.

“Sing? I’ve never heard him sing. He must be tone deaf, why else hasn’t he ever been heard singing?

“What’s the use of a nice voice? There are plenty of nice-sounding people who sing out of tune.

“I sing even when you all don’t force me……him not singing is understandable, his idol burden is heavy. Luckily, I don’t live like that.”

He panned the lens across, “This is my computer. To be exact, it used to be Mang God’s, so the live broadcasts you saw previously were broadcast by Mang God from this computer.

“His camera doesn’t seem to have a beauty filter either. Should I get one, it seems it can automatically give someone a small V face……Forget it, these days there are not many honest anchors like us.

“Right, it’s all his, I haven’t moved my own stuff from the dorm…..because I don’t live here, I’m still in school…..Fuck your cohabitation, no cohabitation.”

“And these two e-sports chairs are a sign of endorsement from Vege Team, a housewarming gift from Yam God, thank you very much to him. Giving an advertisement: it’s very comfortable to sit in them.”

— Xiang God can endorse you too. Let Xiang God endorse you too!

“What do I need so many chairs for, playing mahjong? But our computer mice and keyboards are FRUIT brand endorsements, the equipment of his ‘family’ is very useful.”

— Xiang God, are you watching the stream too!? The anchor has made it very clear things are still missing from the room!

Guava.SVIP: Can do.

“…..Guava, you’re here. Don’t listen to them, I’m not missing anything.”

— Inconsiderate.

Ling Meng said very sincerely, “This just occurred to me, there is a deficiency of sincere and genuine fondness for my powder.”

— Just think about that kind of stuff.

— I like your kind of ambitious, motivational anchor.

— Anchor Little Lemon, Challenge The Impossible.

— @Guava @Banana @XiangJiao that’s three.

Guava.SVIP: Can do.

“Guava, you don’t have to mix in this group of filth.”

— Where’s the big housekeeper? How is it that I have the guts to keep going on like this, I have a premonition that sooner or later the big housekeeper will shut Xiang God up in the little black house.

“Your big housekeeper is cooking, I’ll take you to GANK him after the tour.”

There wasn’t a lot of stuff in the studio yet beyond the two computers and simple furniture. There was a full-wall projection screen, so it seemed like that would be fun to use in competitions in the future.

“Does anyone remember this thing?” Ling Meng went to the next bedroom to show off the big lemon that occupied the largest corner, “We moved it from the cake shop. The shop owner xuejie was very reluctant to give it up, saying it had been their shop mascot.”

He flipped the camera around, posing with a super-fierce expression mirroring the big lemon’s. The little friends cried out “scared the hell out of me.” With a skillfully-taken screenshot, the image was spread around as part of a new expression pack.

“The bedroom of Mang God……there doesn’t seem to be anything worth seeing, the bedding was purchased by auntie…..who’s auntie? Mang God’s mama….opposition? She’s very nice, no opposition.”

Ling Meng thought back to the first time he met Shan Zhu’s mama. He couldn’t control the corners of his mouth and they twitched: “I thought the parents would be upset, but it turned out the person most opposed to us two was me……when will we tie the knot…..fuck your knot!

“That’s the bathroom over there, you don’t have to look at it…….you want to see the bathroom too? You all are voyeurs…….you want to see how many toothbrushes are in the bathroom? Is Mang God not allowed to love a man with two toothbrushes?!”

“We’d look at the living room, but there’s nothing to see in there. The furniture was all supplied by the property manager, later on when there’s free time, decorating can be done. It’s an upper floor unit with a good view,” Ling Meng showed the view to everyone out the window, “In this direction, there’s a panoramic view of the e-sports town of North Hebei. FRUIT can be seen faintly in the distance, VEGETABLE, wait, wait, there’s the team base. The competition venue is close too.”

“How far to the FRUIT base? About 10-15 minutes on foot, it’s really close. With a telescope here, you could be an e-sports paparazzi.”

— What kind of career is that, are you developing it?

— Crouching for three days and three nights, later on found that e-sports players don’t go out of the house at all.

— Xiang God: He can use a telescope, wouldn’t I be able to look over too? Reverse Paparazzi GET [forced joke]

Ling Meng was afraid of Xiang Jiao getting another idea, so he quickly changed the topic to the kitchen. He made a shush gesture at the camera and crept over silently. The audience couldn’t see his movements, but they could guess what he was trying to do.

— We snuck past the 18 positions (reference to a strategy mobile game) and hid in the roadside grass, ready to launch a GANK wave.

— The enemy has no sense of crisis; the soldiers are still clearing the tower (reference to a different mobile game).

— We’ve showed off a jungler skill! Suddenly flashing EQ double effect, succeeded in taking down the first drop of health! (all LOL references)

—??? New arrival here, isn’t this a Legend of the Galaxy game anchor broadcast room?

The first drop of Shan Zhu’s health was taken by Ling Meng, who successfully jump-scared him. Shan Zhu knocked over the vinegar bottle, but with his sharp reflexes, he quickly picked it up so not much spilled out. However, the air was already full of the scent of vinegar.

Shan Zhu looked at him with an expression of great helplessness: “Are you really happy to be this naughty?”

Of course, the water friends were happy to help answer:

— This kind of naughty is very enjoyable.

— Naughtiness makes me forget myself, naughtiness makes me happy.

— Naughty with stable and calm, stable and calm with naughty. (personality types)

— Even if naughty, you’re reluctant to hit me.

And the perpetrator was covering his nose right now: “It’s so sour, I don’t like vinegar, it’s not lemon flavor.”

“Blaming me?” Mang God cleaned up the dining table, his every move recorded on the camera. The water friends had never seen such a homely Mang God. For a moment, this was everything to them.

— Mang God knocked over a vinegar bottle, is Xiang God not leaving yet?

— Golden Mang has logged off, Green Mang has logged on!

— Stay-at-home Mang God, positive evaluation! A mango-patterned apron or a lemon pattern!

— You boys cook very well~

— Mang God can also cook? Endangered good boyfriend species!

“I’ll tell you a secret, Mang God can’t cook. He’s learning currently.”

“That doesn’t stop you from eating a ton.”

“Your level, I admit that your progress is fast, at least I can eat what you’ve learned to make in these past few days.” Ling Meng’s livelihood plan was to survive off others, so he hurried to blow to counteract the anger.

Shan Zhu’s inspiration for learning to cook actually came from the phrase “started with food delivery.” Delivery, anyone can do it. If there was a day Ling Meng sent out a delivery challenge and he was beaten by someone better, what if this guy who only had eating and playing games on the brain was stolen away from him?

Ling Meng certainly didn’t know the other’s thoughts, he was just probing into the pot right now: “What are you making tonight? Roasted ribs? That’s great, I like to eat ribs the most.”

Shan Zhu clipped a small piece off, placing it before his lips and blowing gently before feeding it to Ling Meng: “How about a taste?”

Ling Meng commented while chewing: “Ah, it’s lousy. Needs to be a little hotter.”

“Want it be spicier again?”

“Want, where’s the bottle of chili sauce my ma sent for me?”

……

The two men went to study the dishes. The hearts of the Mang God girlfriend powder were fluttering at the sight of the scene just now.

— Who noticed the boyfriend perspective of Mang God just now?!

— Mang God couldn’t help but open his own mouth as he fed the ribs [smile]

— This screenshot is instantly an SSR!

— It’s a lot more fun to watch streams than play Woman B’s love sim game. The key point is that even without Krypton Gold, there are special cards!

Chapter 77

The anchor Ling Meng ate an outstanding meal to prove Mang God’s cooking was number one. The young ladies who claimed they hadn’t eaten yet couldn’t hold back from ordering delivery, angrily swearing they would never watch MengMeng eat again in the future.

Cooking Novice Shan Zhu, who had general self-taught cooking knowledge, saw a screen full of “it looks so good, it must taste good, I want to eat it” and thought, you all still don’t know enough about MengMeng’s stomach. He can indiscriminately eat even the second canteen’s stuffed buns. Any food is just tasty and edible to him, there was no such thing as a nasty meal.

Ling Meng feasted and looked up to find Shan Zhu opposite from him was propping up his face on his hand, staring intently at him and not eating at all, so, puzzled, he wondered, could it be that my eating habits keep people from having an appetite?

“Why aren’t you eating?

“I’m enjoying the fruits of my labor,” Shan Zhu answered truthfully.

“Aren’t the fruits of your labor on the table?”

Shan Zhu mysteriously shook his head and wiped the spicy oil off the corners of Ling Meng’s mouth with a napkin.

“Did you get it?” Ling Meng licked the corners of his mouth, “You eat too. Otherwise, your powder will say only I ate.”

Shan Zhu had forgotten he was streaming and glanced to the side at this point. Xiang Jiao’s cat courtyard message had been on the center of the screen for a long time. The message that didn’t land, he finally caught sight of it:

[Platform Announcement] User Guava gifted a cat courtyard to the anchor Lemon and gave this message of encouragement: Drawing for Lemon’s feeding perspective.

“What is the feeding perspective?” he asked.

Ling Meng had only heard the popularized science from his fans on the boyfriend perspective, so he explained for Shan Zhu: “It’s to look at you from the other’s perspective, so everyone can pretend they’re in a relationship with a couple image.”

“Haha,” Shan Zhu smiled and flipped his phone over.

Suddenly:

—????

— Anyone bring a light with them?

— Who hit the switch? I clearly paid the electricity bill!

— It’s already infuriating when the lights are shut off while reading a novel. Now when I watch a stream, the lights are also shut off?

— Prosperity, democracy, culture, harmony…. (see ch 22)

— Live Lights Off, reported.

The lights off only lasted a few seconds. When the stream came back, the two people were still sitting in place. Their postures hadn’t even changed. The only suspicious thing was Ling Meng’s face being a little red.

Without changing his expression, Shan Zhu said, “I finished feeding.”

Ling Meng: ……Did I feed you the breath? You licked me, okay!

— Xiang God’s heartache, a cat courtyard smacked down, the stream’s black screen.

— Mang God has just knocked over the vinegar bottle. Can Xiang God live a little more carefully?

— Xiang God is a good illustration that even Krypton Gold may not be able to draw a special card.

— Xiang God: Got the dark-faced achievement!

Chapter 78

After a full meal, Ling Meng sat in front of the computer and got ready to fight in the game in order to help his digestion.

It wasn’t time for Shan Zhu’s stream, so Shan Zhu opened a broadcast room but didn’t start it. He grabbed a book for himself, scrunching up on the sidelines and reading. His temperament alone made it seem like he was reading “A Hundred Years of Loneliness.” Only Ling Meng knew he was looking at “300 Home-Cooked Recipes.”

Shan Zhu had moved to his new home and come up with reasons not to turn on the camera for days. His powder had to run to beg Ling Meng to indirectly save the day, asking him to beg his husband to hurry up and return to streaming.

“Why don’t you turn on the camera? You powder is going to blow my broadcast room up.”

Ling Meng glanced to the side and found the barrage on the screen was not very harmonious. Looking at it, either RNM (extremely vulgar way to say ‘fuck your mother’) or CNM (normal way to say ‘fuck your mother’), it was just too dirty.

“What kind of public wrath did you provoke, these trolls scolding like this are vulgar and offensive, is this how you all also pay respects to your family?” Ling Meng thought back carefully. He couldn’t think of any big rhythm in the e-sports circle lately.

Shan Zhu shifted his eyes from the book to Ling Meng, staring at him for a moment: “You’re right, it’s a little too much.”

He turned on the mic: “Is there a housekeeper here? Ban all those who brushed ‘fuck Lemon’ at Lemon.”

The random collection of letters and characters disappeared in an instant. Everyone collectively changed the line to “Lemon Dad, I’m sorry.”

Ling Meng:???

Like I’m responsible for you not turning on the camera, Daddy is really mad!

The furious pufferfish Ling Meng clicked on the link recommended by the boiling water friends. Everyone knew that Ling Meng loved to watch B-station videos and that it was okay to recommend some funny ghost beast videos, so they sent some to make him relax while he was queuing up.

But today the video wasn’t a funny ghost beast; on the contrary, it was a little warm and cozy. The UP owner cut a candy-sprinkleMV, using two people’s live footage – from when the two people live streamed for the first time, to Shan Zhu took Ling Meng away for surgery; from the cake shop opening birthday event, to bits and pieces of daily broadcasts. Ling Meng never knew that someone had so carefully collected each of their live images. After watching, it seemed like a complete review of the two’s love experience, with a moving BGM. Ling Meng admitted it was sweet.

He turned into the sweet little lemon from his original streams and couldn’t help the rising of the corners of his mouth. His dimples were full of sweetness.

“Thank you, UP Lord. UP Lord is very considerate.”

— Thanks to UP Lord for sprinkling candy! My family’s MengMeng ate cute and grew up online again!

Ling Meng quibbled: “When did I go offline? If I’m not sweet enough, it must be because I haven’t had enough cute to eat lately!”

— I’ll give you all the cat food! Take it and buy cute to eat!

Laughing so his little tiger’s teeth showed, Ling Meng said: “Thank you, boss! I’m going to eat a pound!”

— Help me! I’ll have to make an appointment with my dentist again!

“Don’t be sad, I heard that pulling teeth can make your face lean.”

— I’m worse! Diabetes is 250+!

“Have you recorded your case?”

(t/n: blood sugar level of 250 mg/dl would be pretty deadly, he’s joking it’s a miracle they’re alive)

……

There was also blowing for the UP Lord’s choice of song.

— Highly praise for the BGM, this song fits perfectly with the feeling of Mang God and MengMeng in my mind.

“I like it too,” Ling Meng opened Baidu, “What’s the name of the song?”

— My male god’s “”. Highly recommended!

— Same! The first time I heard this song, I thought it would suit the two of them!

Ling Meng searched the name of the song, setting it directly to play on a loop. The melodious sound floated out, as if it were sweet perfume, dying every air molecule lemon yellow. Both broadcast rooms were filled with the song filled with the mix of mango, mangosteen, and apple fragrances.

“We cried, we laughed, we raised our heads to the sky, a few stars still shine bright…..”

Ling Meng bobbed his head along with the music, lip-synching. He didn’t want to kill off such a beautiful song with his singing.

— You have the ability to lip-sync, do you have the ability to sing?

— MengMeng forgets his past love with a new love, Peerless Little Shou is bitterly crying, ‘I’m not your main song anymore.’

— The music anchor is lip-syncing, reported.

Everyone was listening as the music suddenly came to a halt. Those with OCD suffered on the spot.

— It sounded good, why did the anchor pause?

“I didn’t pause,” Ling Meng was depressed too, “maybe it’s the network card?”

Ling Meng poked around the network diagnosis and couldn’t even reconnect the internet. But there was a voice in his ear.

“We sing the song of time, and in doing so understand why we embrace each other……”

Shan Zhu was still leaning lazily back in his chair, all his attention focused on “300 Home-cooked Recipes,” while murmuring the lyrics very casually.

Ling Meng was also hearing Shan Zhu sing for the first time. Even though he never sang, he unexpectedly still sang like a male god. The idol burden didn’t fall in the slightest, surprising him.

He was the only one who could see Shan Zhu because of the camera angle. The others watching through Ling Meng’s stream could only see his profile turn to one side.

— Who’s singing?

— Warm and lonely, the wind scatters flowers, tears like rain, because I don’t want to part from you.

— Seamless connection?

— It can’t be that my Mang God is singing?

— Would it be okay for Lemon Dad to turn the camera? We want to see Mang God singing too, please!

— Can’t you see MengMeng’s focused gaze, I’m afraid he can’t pay attention to you right now.

After a brief moment, the internet reconnected and the original song played again. Shan Zhu also finally noticed the attention from next to him.

He raised his head. In the air dyed lemon yellow, in the mix of mangoes, mangosteen, apple, the combination of those fruity fragrances within the singing voice, the two people’s gazes locked. There was confusion in Ling Meng’s eyes, he was puzzled; there was also the illusion that his soul was being sucked away, just like when he saw Ling Meng take the championship on the race track.

The chorus and Shan Zhu’s humming properly synced up. He gazed intently into Ling Meng’s eyes and accompanied the singer. He completed the second half of the song:

“Because I happened to meet you, I left behind the most beautiful footprints, the wind scatters flowers, tears like rain, because I don’t want to part from you;

“Because I happened to meet you, I leave behind me a decade of eager expectation, I trust if we meet again I will remember you.”

Ling Meng listened in a daze, silently turned back, and quietly said to the camera:

“Oh man, it turns out that people really can shine.”

—

Footnotes:

1. small V face (锥子脸): a conical face type popular in China, also called awl or snake face; tapered from cheekbones to chin with a pointed chin (google for examples)

2. Challenge the Impossible (挑战不可能): an “inspirational” reality TV show, where contestants compete in all sorts of physical and mental challenges, the taglines are “challenge yourself” and “know yourself”

3. little black house (小黑屋): internet slang for a mod banning someone in a chat

4. SSR: Super Super Rare, classification for card rarity in games

5. GANK: gaming term for a big group (or a very high level player alone) ganging up on a low level player who can’t defend themselves in order to kill them

6. boyfriend perspective (男友视角): a photo/video taken in a first-person POV (usually by one half of a celebrity CP) so that fans can image the idol is their boyfriend, usually showing domestic activities

7. Krypton Gold (氪金): term from WOW for a rare mining material called krypton gold; slang for coupon/payment for services aka pay-to-play

8. dark-faced achievement (非酋成就): Slang from the mobile card game Yin-Yang Division, this made-up achievement is for people who have never drawn an SSR card, so each time they draw, their face gets darker and darker (more depressed)

9. sprinkle candies (撒糖): to give out candies; slang for PDA or sharing details of love in public

10. ate cute and grew up (吃可爱多长大): slang phrase used to praise someone for being super cute; might be related to Cornetto ice cream (可爱多)

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