359 : Selfish
"I guess I have underestimated you, Dame Csille. I think what they said is true, that you are a lady of many talents." He smiles at me. "And I couldn't help but admire you for being a kind person. You didn't even hesitate to share your noble blood with someone lowly."
I flinched when I heard how he referred the commoners. Lowly? It sounded so offensive for someone who is an average person in real life. I was about to refute Prince Christofre, but I wasn't able to continue what I said because he spoke again.
He then looks at Prince Fraser, who is lying on the bed beside me. "Should I congratulate the two of you then?" He looks at me again. "You are now officially an Astalieu."
I don't know how I would react to Prince Christofre's smile. I just smile awkwardly at him and look at Princess Paislee's reaction. I feel bad knowing that the true female lead is also inside the room. I feel like everything that is happening is so wrong.
How can they say that in front of the female lead? The true person who will become part of the Astalieu in the future? I heard Prince Fraser chuckle. "Thank you, Prince Christofre. I hope you understand that my fiancée couldn't welcome you properly since she is still weak. If you want, I can tour your around on her behalf. That is if Doctor Pascal will allow me." He then looks at Brother Pascal to ask permission.
Brother Pascal heaves a sigh. "Your highness, I think it's better if you take a rest for half an hour first to see how your body will react after. And if things are okay after an hour, I can allow you to tour his highness, Prince Christofre." Brother Pascal then bows his head at Prince Christofre. "Your highness, apologies. As much as I want to let Prince Fraser to tour you around, it will be detrimental if something happens to the Crown Prince. I hope you can understand."
Prince Christofre shakes his head and smiles reassuringly at us. "The Doctor has spoken. How can I complain? Take a rest as much as you need. Prince Rufus and Prince Joachim are also here to keep me company. I am also enjoying listening to people's problems, and it would be great if I could work here for a few minutes. So, I can have a grasp of knowledge of how to handle a Foundation." He then looks at me. "That is if Dame Csille will allow me to do it. I'm sure Her Majesty, Queen Roesia, will definitely be happy to know that I got a firsthand experience working in the Foundation."
I just smile at Prince Christofre. How can I refuse now if he already brings the name of Queen Roesia? Wouldn't that be an offense for her majesty, Queen Roesia, if I wouldn't let Prince Christofre work in the Foundation?
But is it really safe to let him work in the Foundation? Although the Foundation doesn't do any monarchy work, I still don't want to involve it in the future war. I look at Prince Fraser, asking what my decision should be. It's better if he is the one who decides. He knows what will be best for the Foundation.
I hope so.
Prince Fraser smile at Prince Christofre. "If that is what you want and if it's not too much for you to do, how can we complain? I'm sure the people will be happy to know that you will be working in the Foundation."
I tried my best not to make a face. Will they really be happy to see the Crown Prince of the nemesis Kingdom working in the Foundation? I don't even think they will be comfortable talking to him. After all, everyone was well aware of the current status of the relationship between the Vrawyth Kingdom with the Aeslaerean Kingdom. I just hope things will be okay after. Lilla and Maireen, I am leaving everything in your care. I hope you can help to calm the people. I'm sure at the end of the day. This will become a big news in the capital.
I look at Prince Fraser and see the hesitation in his eyes. He is probably also worried, but he knows he doesn't have any choice. If he didn't allow Prince Fraser, it might be a reason for a war.
I just wish he made the right the decision.
________________________________
The other royalties have left the room already and are currently helping the Foundation. While Brother Pascal is still monitoring our condition. He still needs to stay here to make sure that nothing will happen to Prince Fraser after. He also needs to check the condition of the patient before he can leave the Foundation.
Brother Pascal looks at the clock hanging on the wall and stands up. "Your highness, please excuse me. I still need to check the condition of the patient. I also need to make sure that his condition is stable. I will return to check your condition after."
Prince Fraser stops reading his book and nods his head as a response. He then continues reading his book after. After getting a response from Prince Fraser, Brother Pascal immediately excuse himself. Leaving Prince Fraser and me behind. I immediately pretend to sleep the moment Brother Pascal leaves the room. I don't know how to talk with Prince Fraser after what happened. That's why I did the safest thing to do, to pretend to sleep. However, it seems like his highness has seen through my plan. I heard him sigh. "Csille, I know you are awake. Open your eyes. I want to talk to you."
Talk? I don't want to talk! Talk to your hand! Why does Brother Pascal leave me alone with Prince Fraser? I should have stopped him. "Csille Lauretré! I am ordering you to stop pretending and look at me!" Prince Fraser said in a controlled voice. A sign that he is now irritated with what I am doing.
Can you please spare me, your highness? Can't you see that I am still weak? I don't have the energy to banter with you. Can we schedule this conversation the other day?
"Csille! Don't make me stand up and force you to talk to me because I will do that!" He snaps.
I heave a sigh and slowly open my eyes. But I still avoid looking at him. I just busy myself staring at the white ceiling. "Your highness?" I said in a manner like I didn't do anything wrong.
"Look at me!"
Why can't this Prince realize that I don't want to talk? I don't even want to look at you.
"Csille!"
I immediately turn to my side and stare at him. I see him staring at me with a frown. "Why don't you want to talk to me?"
It's because I don't know how to talk to you. You just share your blood with me, and you expect me to accept things as it is? What will happen if the people know about this? I don't even want to think. I'm sure things wouldn't turn into what I want. So, I would rather not think about it.
"Is it because I donated my blood to you? Is that the reason why you don't want to talk to me?"
I just stared at him and didn't respond to his question. I want to be honest with him and say yes to his question, but wouldn't that be an insult on his part? After all, he just volunteered to donate his blood to me, and here I am, being an ingrate who doesn't appreciate what he had done.
Prince Fraser sighed after seeing I don't have any intention of answering his question. "What do you expect me to do? Watch my fiancée suffer? Why would I let you suffer like that if I could just donate my blood to you?"
I heave a sigh and stare directly into his eyes. "You could just wait for my parents to arrive, your highness. You don't really need to donate your blo—"
I couldn't continue what I wanted to say because Prince Fraser stared coldly at me. "Why would I wait for help if I can give you my blood? And what's wrong with giving you my blood? You are my fiancée, Csille. Have you forgo—"
I shake my head. He doesn't understand. No one understands how this will affect the future. He doesn't know how much he will regret this in the future. And in the end, I will end up being in pain because I am sure he will blame me for the decision he made today. "Your highness, have you also forgotten you are a Royalty? And even if we're considering engaged already, let me remind you that there is still no official announcement yet. As long as his majesty doesn't announce about our engagement, I am still considered a noble. Isn't this against the rules of the Royalties?"
"Csille, why are you saying that? Are you planning to cancel our engagement?"
I become silent because of his question. I will cancel my engagement with him? More like him canceling his engagement with Csille.
I heave a sigh. But I didn't answer his question. I don't want to tell him no because at the end of the day, our engagement will still end. I couldn't tell him yes too, because it would be rude for me to do that.
"Is it because of my behavior before? Is it because I disrespected you? Haven't I told you that I would change myself, Csille? Just give me time to prove myself to you."
I almost scoff. He wants me to give him time to prove himself? Wouldn't that mean I will be giving him another chance to inflect myself with pain again?
I will already hurt myself in the future. Why would I want to subject myself to such heartache?
"What if the engagement got canceled, your highness?"
I know I shouldn't ask this, but I couldn't stop myself. I want to know what he will say. Although I already know what he will feel the moment he decides to end the engagement with Csille.
"Csille..."
I avoid Prince Fraser's eyes and just stare at the ceiling. I'm afraid to hear the truth from his lips. The truth that will happen in the future. I heard Prince Fraser heave a deep sigh. "I won't cancel our engagement. So, if our engagement got canceled, it will be because of you, and if you want to cancel it. I won't force myself on you. I will just do my best to win you back."
I felt my heart break when I heard his response. I force myself not to cry and smile at him. Although I am not sure if my smile looks like a smile right now. "Your highness, I will be taking a sleep now. I suddenly feel exhausted." I didn't wait for his response and just turned my back on him. The moment I faced the other side, the tears I had been controlling earlier came rushing out of my eyes. I smile bitterly at myself. When will be the time that I won't cry over Prince Fraser? It's really exhausting. I sometimes even wish that we reach the end already so I can finish this all and return to my own world.
I was busy crying silently when Prince Fraser suddenly spoke again. "Csille, I'm sorry. I know I have been confusing you with my actions. One moment I am good at you, and one moment I am not. But trust me, I don't even understand myself. I'm confused, Csille." He then stops talking.
What does he mean he is confused? Wait, is this because of the force that is trying to control this world again? Is it affecting Prince Fraser's feelings? Is it the reason why his actions are unpredictable these days?
"Csille, I know you won't believe me if I say this to you. But I don't really want to hurt you, I swear. I have feelings for you. I know that deep in my heart. However, sometimes I just couldn't help but hate you. I don't know." I heard him softly groan. He sounds like he is really frustrated with himself. "I'm confused. I like someone else too, but I also don't want to lose you. Am I selfish, Csille?"
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