Chapter 43: Shining Knight (1)
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No matter how much Asena tried to deny it, and no matter what Cayden said about the act, it did not change the fact that flowers were a gift that a man gave to the opposite sex.
And the atmosphere was definitely different in the way such a gift was presented.
In that respect, the shock Asena had to receive this time was enormous. As if a line had arisen between Cayden and her, the feelings she felt were completely opposite to usual.
When the first time he gave a flower to Daisy… Originally they belonged to her and Keirsey… So they could understand it a little.
Not this time.
This time, undoubtedly, the flower Cayden had prepared, was for Daisy.
Besides, this was the second time.
Whatever the intentions, there was a symbol to the act of giving flowers over and over again.
“……”
As Daisy was moved and was unable to say anything, Cayden spoke.
“…I’m sorry if it's uncomfortable. It’s just a flower, well. I’m giving it to you again so that you don’t feel sorry for losing the first one.”
He added, but Asena’s heart did not ease at all. Although it was said to reduce the burden of actions with light words, the foundation did not waver.
Asena had to feel deep jealousy of Daisy, who was shy. She felt stuffy and hot like a fire was burning her inside. She couldn’t figure out how to get rid of this choking feeling that she was experiencing for the first time.
And the momentum only got worse the more she thought about it. The more she thought about the meaning, the more she started to suffocate.
She wasn't sure if Cayden really didn’t know the meaning of the act. Because… Cayden never gave her flowers.
Because they were brother and sister, she had never received flowers from him as the opposite sex in the first place.
In the past, there had been occasions where he plucked flowers from the garden and put them in her hair… but she had never received them as a gift like that.
Asena understood what she meant to Cayden once again. The difference was clearly felt. She already knew it, but it hurt so much when the difference appeared as an act in front of her.
No matter how much Cayden loved her and how great that love was, in the end, what Asena wanted was the heart that Cayden was showing to Daisy.
Asena felt that the love she had received so far was insignificant. The same love she usually felt was so precious that she held on to it tightly so that she wouldn’t miss a single memory…
It had no meaning. If he didn’t give her the same love he gave Daisy, the love he showered on her since childhood was something that would eventually become a memory one day.
That's what familial love was like. Someday it must end.
Eternal future... there was only one love that never ended until death. It was love between a man and a woman; the love he gave to Daisy.
And it was very difficult for Asena to accept this.
Why? Because that woman was not a Pryster, she could naturally have an affectionate atmosphere with Cayden, which Asena could never have according to norms.
Cayden came to her like a ray of light when she was having a hard time as a child and became her everything.
All the efforts she had made so far should have been praised by him. After all, it was in order to gain strong power to protect him, but in fact, did he flow away like a free wind?
She was upset that his affection and interest would leave her and turn to another woman.
Because with Cayden, nothing else was needed.
… Conversely, without him, nothing in this world could satisfy her.
In fact, she was already expecting all of this, so she had come up with a plan to take away Pryster surname from him as a precaution.
But as a result, he was only moving further away.
Asena got up from her seat.
She realized now that her legs were shaking, but she stood up nonetheless.
“….Oppa. Come with me for a moment.”
In the end, Asena spoke to him first. It was the moment the fight was over; Asena surrendered first.
Right now, he and Daisy having a happy atmosphere made her heart ache.
Adding to this was the fact that she was in a fight with him made it difficult to breathe.
She needed a break.
Judy didn’t follow them after reading the atmosphere.
She took a deep breath and waited for Cayden, and then he also came out.
The moment Asena saw him, her throat began to choke. But she held her breath and held back her tears. She couldn’t cry now.
“…what’s going on?”
He asked sternly.
Asena’s expression deteriorated. She couldn’t keep her face stiff.
“…because I was wrong…Stop it now.”
“……”
“Stop it… please.”
It had only been two days, but Asena had to plead with him. It was hard because he didn’t give her that much love. Even with this, Asena felt that she had endured a lot.
“…that’s why you called me?”
But Cayden didn’t care. He was not shaken by her pleas.
“…..ah..”
And it was unbelievable for Asena. Tears welled up when she saw his hardened face.
It was painful to receive such an expression from the only person in the world to whom she gave her heart and was willing to give everything.
Now she began to feel just how angry he was.
She didn’t know because she avoided talking to him.
He would have been really mad; He had always returned to her when she begged like this, but this time he didn’t forgive her.
Asena suppressed her tears once more and spoke quietly.
“…Oppa…you said you don’t like Daisy.”
.
.
.
“…Oppa…you said you don’t like Daisy.”
I didn’t know how to react to Asena’s words.
When she called me, I thought she wanted to reconcile.
I was right; when I came out, she apologized and told me to stop.
I felt sorry for her tearful expression, but today, like Hogu, I decided not to suffer again.
[T/N: Hogu is someone who could be fooled easily - a naive person.]
So, keeping a firm face, I asked if that was all she had to say.
To my question like that, the answer that came out was, ‘you said you don’t like Daisy?’
I froze for a while because I didn’t understand the context.
And slowly, I had a question.
Why did Asena hate Daisy so much? Putting aside the gossip about me behind my back, now that I see it, she seemed to not like Daisy at all.
A while ago, in the case of Daisy and the Wasp, I thought Asena acted that way because she wanted to target me publicly, but now that I look at it, I was starting to think that it may not be the only thing.
She hated Daisy, so Asena told me not to protect her...
“…Oppa…I told you…because you can’t connect with Daisy…!”
She was acting so frustrated, I wondered if it was for political reasons, but I didn't understand her point at all.
In fact, I didn’t get how Asena and Daisy's relationship came to be like this… It maybe that I was black-eyed from a political point of view.
I didn’t know again. There may be some obvious reason why I shouldn’t really be friends with the Hexters.
However, Asena did not tell me such a story. So, until I was convinced, I didn’t want to distance myself from Daisy.
As this idea was based on the basic premise, It maybe that Asena was rejecting Daisy for reasons other than politics.
But if there was a reason, she would have explained it to me. But for reasons I couldn’t explain, she was just telling me to distance myself like this.
It wasn’t something I wanted to accept.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I didn’t give her flowers for that reason.”
“Oppa, do you really think that will work? Do you not think about the meaning of giving flowers?”
I let out a long sigh. I looked at her slowly and asked openly.
“…if I said that, what the hell is the problem?”
“………..uh…?”
“The bad thing about being friends with Daisy... What the hell is it?”
“…Oppa…what do you mean?”
“If I have a good relation with Hexters... Isn't it something that would give strength to the family? You can’t bless me, but why do you hate it so much?”
“…Blessing? How can I bless you?”
“Why not?”
“……”
“I really don’t understand why Duchess Pryster is doing this.”
.
.
.
“I really don’t understand why Duchess Pryster is doing this.”
Asena couldn’t utter a word.
She couldn’t convince him because she was hiding one very important thing from him.
In fact, with just one sentence, she could justify everything she was doing now.
'I love you.'
With one sentence, she could make him understand that she sees him as a man, not as a family.
If she could spit it out, he would get why she was so frustrated.
“……”
But she couldn’t speak. She could convince him, but she couldn’t prepare for everything after that.
His reaction would be terrifying. He wouldn't even have considered such a possibility before.
She had always loved him in a safe position - as a family. Because that was the best place to receive enough love. So this moment when she had to break the mold was very difficult.
What would he say?
She had no hope that a positive response would come.
No matter what she did, if she told him the truth he would smile as if she was making a cute joke, and if he who firmly believed that they were family, finds that she had feelings that she shouldn’t have… Was there any answer apart from rejection? Especially in current circumstances.
She had been kissing him on the cheek and forehead, but now she wanted to do it with his mouth and tongue. Will he be able to understand this feeling?
In the midst of taking a nap together and sharing their daily routine, would he accept having a baby while having a passionate night’s sleep together in the bedroom?
Maybe it was something that would make him leave for the sake of Asena. After talking to Grandma, he might just go away forever.
She was unable to prepare anything yet. Now, little by little, she hadn't revealed her dark desires. She hadn't made him accustom to it, so she couldn’t suddenly let it out.
Asena knew that confession was not an act of asking about another person's heart. Even if it was the first time, confession was an act of confirming each other’s feelings.
When two people felt that they were in love with each other, they expressed their feelings verbally to confirm each other's commitment.
So, even if Asena spoke out her heart, the result would not be good even if she wanted to be optimistic and hope otherwise.
So her mouth was shut.
“……”
She couldn’t say anything to convince him. Just like an idiot, she had no choice but to keep her mouth shut in response.
Cayden let out a long sigh.
“Honestly, I enjoy my recent relationships.”
“…………”
Asena’s heart was pounding and she grabbed the helm of her uniform.
“…but you keep interrupting me like this… It’s pretty tough.”
“……”
“…for the time being, I hope you don’t interfere with what I do.”
Cayden drew the line again.
Those dagger-like words stabbed deep into Asena’s heart.
“…let’s go in, Duchess Pryster.”
After a brief bow, Cayden entered the student council room.
Asena felt like it was getting cold again.
She stared blankly at the place he stood just a moment ago.
She felt like an idiot for not doing anything, she felt like a villain who wanted to get away with her actions without giving a reason just like he said, and... She felt humbled that he left her alone.
Tears streamed down her cheeks involuntarily.
Today, reconciliation with him had failed.
If anything, it became one step harder.
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