When the Doctor Uses A Hack

Chapter 33: Chapter 33: Auspicious Day, Scheduling the Surgery

Translator: 549690339

An Yanjun was an extremely rigorous person and also someone who pursued perfection.

Every day, he would go to work dressed impeccably in a shirt, trousers, crocodile skin belt, and his shoes always seemed to be polished to a shine.

While Chen Cang and Chen Bingsheng were chatting, An Yanjun walked over.

He said to Chen Cang, “The surgery this morning is a laparoscopic appendectomy, you…you should still come and watch, lend a hand.”

Chen Cang was slightly taken aback, then nodded, “Alright, then I’ll trouble Director An.”

An Yanjun nodded with a light smile, “This is the case file, just so you have an understanding of the patient’s condition.”

After speaking, he handed over the clipboard with the case file.

Chen Cang nodded and took it.

As he flipped through the case file, Chen Cang couldn’t help but comment; otherwise, why would Director An be the hospital’s model worker? Just the organization of this case file alone was already beyond comparison for many others.

The test report was neatly torn and placed on adhesive paper, and even an excess corner was neatly trimmed, pleasing to the eye.

An Yanjun had a habit of being extremely strict about the arrangement of test reports; they had to be ordered in the sequence of blood, urine, routine, liver and kidney functions… and so on.

Moreover, he wouldn’t allow any misalignment. He was a meticulous and perfectionist man, also regarded as the middle-aged heartthrob in the department.

An Yanjun carried an aura of a scholar—with his fair and clean look, his faint stubble, and gold-rimmed glasses complementing each other well, along with his meticulously styled hair. Dressed in a suit, he was quite dashing.

Chen Cang couldn’t help but sigh, and said to Chen Bingsheng, “Boss, look, what is attitude? What is rigor? Ah… it’s really eye-opening how one doesn’t know the extent until compared!”

Chen Bingsheng nodded, “Yeah, we should also organize our case files like this in the future. That… Xiao Chen, you better take a good picture, and if I see that our case files are not organized tomorrow, don’t plan on leaving work early, make sure to tidy them up well.”

Chen Cang’s eyes widened, “Me?”

Chen Bingsheng said, “You expect me, a senior physician, to organize case files? Shall I also write the case files for you while I’m at it?”

Chen Cang earnestly nodded, “Boss, I think that’s possible!”

Chen Bingsheng gave a faint smile, “Come on, there’s a hernia repair surgery today, you do it, I’ll write the case file!”

Chen Cang responded, “Comrade Chen Bingsheng, you’ve insulted me once again!”

Chen Bingsheng uttered, “Oh? Have I? My apologies then.”

After saying that, Chen Bingsheng dropped the line, “Ward rounds!”

Chen Cang, feeling helpless, sighed. When living under someone else’s roof, one must bow their head. What else could he do when he was short on skills?

Carrying seven or eight case files in his arms, he trudged into the patient wards.

Chen Bingsheng had a knack for interpersonal relationships. He had gotten along with patients harmoniously for many years, which was something Chen Cang truly admired.

Compared to An Yanjun, Chen Bingsheng’s clipboards were never as neat and orderly; on the contrary, they were sometimes rather messy, but Chen Bingsheng barely needed the case files. In his words, “Case files? They’re just a reference, a document for the patient to take with them when they’re discharged. A patient’s condition should always be kept in the doctor’s mind.”

Indeed, Old Chen had managed to do just that!

He never needed the case file during ward rounds because he could remember every abnormal indicator on a patient like the back of his hand, whereas Chen Cang held onto the case file purely for… well, showing patients.

Oh, right, there was another benefit: it was good exercise!

After all, the metal clipboard was quite heavy, and with over a dozen case files together, it indeed provided a decent workout.

Chen Cang sighed, thinking of Old Chen’s “insult,” and felt like he was nothing more than a case file porter… porter… worker…

Feeling cold inside…

Feeling blocked…

Feeling a heart attack…

Upon entering the room, the female patient in bed twelve started clamoring, “Doctor, I want to switch beds!”

Chen Bingsheng was immediately stupefied, “Switch beds? Isn’t everything fine as it is? Why do you want to switch beds?”

The female patient pulled Chen Bingsheng over with an air of mystery, and whispered, “I checked the calendar yesterday, and it says that this month I’m clashing with the Tiger Sha from the south, evil spirits are in the southeast, bringing mishaps, bloodshed, five departures, and eight disturbances! Moreover, my Wealth God and Happiness God are in the north!”

“I’ve observed the layout of my ward, and I’ve finally found the reason for my recent discomfort: I’m currently positioned in the southeast! This place is clashing with me, not conducive to my recovery!”

Chen Bingsheng was dumbfounded!

Chen Cang, the little bootlicker, was also agape.

This line of logic left me speechless.

Chen Bingsheng chuckled, “No, no, no, I’m telling you that your Wealth God is in the southeast, and your Lucky God is in the east, no problem at all!”

The woman lowered her voice, “Dr. Chen knows this trade too? Come on, Dr. Chen, analyze it for me!”

Chen Bingsheng laughed and shook his head, “Because the doctor’s office is to your east, and the pharmacy is to your south.”

“Don’t entertain wild thoughts. The evil spirit is in your belly! It’s bacteria, bacteria invade the gut wall, causing infection, which has led to acute appendicitis.”

As Chen Bingsheng spoke, laughter suddenly erupted in the ward.

The woman was embarrassed, her face turning a bit red!

“All, Doctor, don’t disbelieve me, really, I’m serious!”

“What’s more, I’ve chosen an auspicious day for surgery! It’s three days from now, three days from now, where nothing is taboo, suitable for seeking medical treatment, praying, cooking sheep, slaughtering cattle… suitable for shedding blood! This surgery should be considered shedding blood, right? I think that day is just right for surgery!”

As the woman spoke, a jovial atmosphere spread through the ward…

At this moment, a wail disrupted the mood.

“Ouch ouch ouch… Doctor, Doctor… Come quick! I feel like the stitches in my stomach from yesterday’s operation have burst from laughter!”

Bed nine housed a fat man, set to be discharged tomorrow after his surgery.

After this sentence was spoken, everyone around immediately covered their mouths with their hands; they wanted to laugh but didn’t dare to, each face turning red with the effort of holding it in!

It was like a ripened red apple!

Chen Bingsheng examined him, “It hasn’t burst open, rest assured.”

The man continued to groan, “Why do I feel like there was a popping sound just now, and it hurts so much!?”

Embarrassed, the patient in bed ten laughed, “I just farted…”

Instantly, the surrounding patients were even more uncomfortable. They wanted to laugh but didn’t dare, fearing they would laugh their wounds open, but holding it in was very unpleasant!

Chen Bingsheng looked sternly at everyone, “Go ahead and laugh. It’s just after surgery; be careful not to restrain yourself to the point of internal injury!”

Once everyone heard this, they were startled and didn’t dare speak anymore.

The patient in bed ten said, “Doctor, today… I’ve been farting non-stop, and it feels like there’s a rumbling in my belly.”

Chen Bingsheng smiled, “Oh? Good, it seems you are recovering well. You can start eating today.”

The patient was taken aback, his face full of curiosity, “What do you mean??? I can eat because I farted?”

ps: Yes, I reflect on my actions three times a day. Have I added an extra update, added an extra update? No extra update!

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