When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

“I have a whole mine filled with precious gems!”

Master Yan added, “I have rare herbs that can help cultivators in your realm!”

Okay, that was doubtful.

What I needed were those kiwis and the other ingredients for body cultivation. Which I would get from curing the plague.

Master Jiang glared at the other two. “I have a jade bracelet that an immortal gave my family.” He brought it out from his sleeve. It was a normal piece of jewelry. Expensive for a mortal, but not useful for a cultivator.

Nothing they offered was anything I needed. Even if they did have something helpful, I wasn’t the protagonist of this dumb Xianxia universe. I wasn’t someone who would con them out of their family treasures because I could.

“Listen up! Taking medicine they don’t need can hurt your sons.”

That shut them up.

“Wait for the symptoms of the plague to show up. If you don’t confirm their diagnosis before giving them a pill, it will harm their body. Do you want that?”

I nearly coughed up blood.

This! This was why I hated hiding my identity. And I would reveal it, except I didn’t want these dumb fuckers to know who I was.

I walked up to the kneeling men, wrapped my spiritual energy around them, and threw them out of the clinic’s front doors.

I stood in the doorway, arms cross and glared at all three of them. “Only come back if your sons show signs of having the plague and are willing to become test subjects where they’ll put their lives on the line.”

Their faces paled.

Good, they finally got it into their thick skulls. I used my spiritual energy to slam the door shut.

“Master Alchemist Lin! We’re ready to try your pill,” the Head Physician was a goddamn professional, even if his clinic wasn’t as clean as I preferred.

I walked over to the patient. She was a young woman who did not look like she had a lot of time left.

“Okay, administer the prescription.”

He poured a golden pill into a small porcelain bowl. This was the adjusted prototype I created first.

The Head Physician opened the woman’s mouth and placed the medicine inside.

I extended my divine sense to watch her. The energy spread through her body. Pink curling vines that stuck out of her pasty skin shriveled up and visibly retracted.

According to my calculations, this was around twice as fast as the previous prescription.

And there didn’t appear to be any undue stress on her body.

I tightened my jaw and decided that I wouldn’t go find Violet right then and there just to go kick her ass.

Two fewer leaves were used, and the time was halved without any complications. And yet, that bitch forced these patients to go through all that pain and bullshit for an extra month!

“Have someone continue to observe. She should be given the same pill every day at the same time.”

“Yes, Master Alchemist Lin!”

They set up the next patient. This was a man with a ‌nasty looking pink vine crawling out of his neck and wrapping around his chin. Fortunately, they’d kept him asleep or he might go crazy with pain.

The Head Physician poured out a pill from the other bottle and fed it to the poor guy.

I began counting as I observed with my divine sense. Though, with how quickly the vines shriveled, even the mortals could see how fast it cured the plague.

One of the physicians released a shocked gasp. Then he looked sheepish when everyone stared at him.

I turned back to the patient.

There were still vines inside him, but at the rate they were dying, I estimated that it would take only two weeks to fully recover.

The Head Physician looked at me with glittering eyes. “M-master Alchemist Lin! This!”

Clear Eye Mad Tongue grabbed my shoulder and shook it. “You realize that you improved a pill in a few hours, right?”

No shit.

“Clear Eyes Mad Tongue!” Salamander warned.

Little Spring removed his hand from my shoulder and said, “Of course my sister did! She’s amazing. And didn’t you agree how you would address her from now on?”

The teen held up both hands and looked sheepish. Then he rubbed his nose. The tips of his ears turned pink.

“Best-Alchemist-Under-the-Heavens Lin.”

If he actually ended up calling me that for the rest of his life, I might kick him. It’s too long.

Salamander smiled down at me. “You did well, Little Senior Lin.”

It was funny how everyone around me praising me didn’t even phase me, but one meager sentence from my past-life’s mentor caused my old monster heart to squeeze with a little happiness.

“Thank you, Sword Master Salamander.”

“Have you thought of a better name than Violet Plague—whatever?” Clear Eyes asked.

“I told you that the other pill was only a prototype.”

“Then can I recommend that ‌you name this one something easy to remember?”

I clasped my hands behind my back. “I’ll call it Fairy Lin’s Demonic Vine Killer Dan!”

Head Physician Xiang You excitedly stood up from where he was checking on the patient. “Master Alchemist Lin, I believe this cure calls for a celebration!”

“We have too much work for that!”

Thinking about it made me want to rub my temples in annoyance.

“Also, it technically hasn’t cured anyone, only lessened their symptoms. But I’m positive that it will eventually cure the plague.” The worse version worked in my past life, so it only made sense that this one would as well.

If I didn’t already have that reassurance — and if people weren’t dying left and right — I’d want to ensure my prescription worked completely before handing it out. But we didn’t have time for that.

Everyone except Little Spring looked confused and worried.

“We’ll have to continue testing. But first, I’ll need to patent it at the Guild so we can spread the formula to other alchemists.”

A little kid that had been hovering at the edge of the room ran over to me, then stopped five feet away as if troubled that he was doing something wrong. Then he bowed then said, “Hu Huan greets the immortals!”

That maid’s son?

“Little Fairy, did you really create a cure?”

I grinned. “Of course I did.”

His eyes grew wide. “That’s amazing.” He whispered. Then he looked like he realized he was bothering us and ran off.

I glanced at the Head Physician. “What’s an uninfected kid doing in this clinic?”

“That’s my fault. I’ve had him get check-ups here to make sure his condition doesn’t relapse. It was... very bad before.” He leaned in and whispered. “We all thought he was going to die, but he made it through.”

“It’s good that he survived.”

I clasped my hands behind my back and turned to my fellow sect members. “Inform the guild that we’ll need all the Golden Goat Tailed Wheat they have, and tell all our alchemists to wrap their investigations up. It’s time to start concocting pills!”

***

Since I wanted to ensure Violet earned nothing from this plague, I rushed to the guild. Very quickly, I patented all three of the formulas. I also included step-by-step directions so other alchemists didn’t pointlessly waste our limited ingredients.

Although I patented the prototypes, I did not want to see them in circulation.

Like fuck would I let Violet’s stupidly slow healing pills gain any traction.

To that end, I made it so that no one could earn a lot of money off the prototype versions. 80% of all their profits would go to me.

The clerk even commented that I could only ask for this because the guild loved alchemists who provided step-by-step instructions.

For my Fairy Lin’s Demonic Vine Killer Dan, I did things a little differently.

Basically, I’d let the alchemists increase the price of the pills by 10% past the cost of ingredients before they needed to pay me anything.

Which meant they could stiff me if they were willing to sell their pills for cheap... Which was what I wanted.

If they made a profit after that, I would take 50% of it.

Well, I’d have to see if this was effective. I was a genius, but that didn’t mean I was good at finances. I was an alchemist, not an economist.

***

Once I returned to the clinic, I checked up on the patients. Everything appeared to be going as I predicted.

And that was when Master Xu came in with his son.

The young man moaned while his father signed him up for the trial right away.

Since this was the first patient I’d seen who had just contracted the Demonic Vine Plague, I scanned him with my divine sense.

This early-stage was fairly interesting. The vines didn’t seem to start at a single point. Instead, microscopic vines had spread throughout the bloodstream and made their way to the heart first. That was where they began to gather.

While I was observing the Young Master Xu, my teams of Alchemists started reporting in.

Incapacitating Wind who had visited the graveyard, sent a telepathic transmission, ::Senior Lin, the infected bodies refused to burn, so they’ve all been buried.:: She paused. ::They didn’t have enough hands so they were digging shallow graves. I’ve since instructed them to request help and dig to the correct depth.::

::Good work. What about the groundwater?::

::There was some near the cemetery, but it was deep enough to not become contaminated.::

::Okay. Return and start concocting the cure.::

::Sword Master Salamander informed us. We’re on our way.::

Fairy Elegant Sky Tamer sent a secret sound transmission. “Senior Lin! We’ve searched the entire city and spoken to as many people as we could. There isn’t anything suspicious going on. At least nothing that wasn’t strange mortals being strange.”

“You did what you could in the time you were given. Return. We’re going to start concocting the cure.”

“We’re already setting up our cauldrons! We’ll be ready to start soon.”

Then Alchemist Burning Hands cautiously reported in, “Um, Senior Lin... we couldn’t figure out how the plague was spread. There’s just too much traffic moving through this city.”

“I understand. But you had to have discovered something, right?”

He did investigate for several hours.

“Well... The first cases all had one thing in common. They all stopped at a specific inn right inside of the city. Each of them had something to eat there at the same time.”

“You’re suspecting that a merchant brought it in?”

If that was the case, then they must have spread it to the other people eating with them.

That meant that there was a possibility of those who were infected but showed no signs of it.

“That’s our only guess. But it still doesn’t explain how it spreads.”

“Inform the City Lord that he should limit all traffic. If possible, keep everyone in the city for at least two weeks while we deal with the plague.”

“Yes, Senior!”

Since I’d already patented the pills, I gave out the instructions to my fellow Sect Alchemists.

It was about time to get down to the business of mass production.

I sent a telepathic message to every member of the team. ::Now that a cure has been developed. It’s time to start producing this medicine quickly. Get doses into the hands of those who need it.::

::Yes, Senior Lin!::

“Yes, Senior!”

Clear Eyes Mad Tongue stroked his chin beside me as if he had a beard. “Best-Alchemist-Under-the-Heavens Lin!”

Yep, I was going to have to kick this guy the next time he called me that.

“I know that the cure is working, but what if something goes wrong? What happens if it suddenly starts backfiring?”

I lifted my chin up and said, “That won’t happen.”

***

For three days, we concocted pills. Now and then, I would take a break to go check on the patients. But everything was going well. There hadn’t even been a death in two days.

Which was why this was so upsetting.

I stared at Master Xu’s son who had been doing well just three hours ago. Only a few hours!

Now he was back to writhing in pain.

I quickly scanned the first man I healed with Violet’s pill. Even more pink vines than before stuck out of him.

That poor woman I treated with the second prototype also had vines growing out of her! Last time I checked, her skin looked healthy. Now it was gray.

Mother fucker!

Where was that goddamn crow’s mouth, Clear Eyes Mad Tongue, so I could beat his ass?

No, focus.

Violet’s medicine clearly worked in my past-life. So, if it wasn’t the pills, then it had to be the work of whatever or whoever was controlling the Demonic Vine plague.

I mean, I’d had my suspicions about this disease being designed by someone from the moment I heard about it. Unfortunately, I’d been so focused on combating it that I didn’t consider that they had a way to control it like this.

Besides, the treatment worked in my past-life. I had no reason to think it wouldn’t work in this one.

This fact made the situation even more suspicious.

It also made me suspect something about Violet. But I could deal with those suspicions later.

I had bigger things to take care of.

Master Xu stomped up to Salamander and practically screamed in his face. “Look, not only is your cure not working, my son is even worse off! I demand compensation!”

Yeah, I knew that guy was upset and all, but trying to pick a fight with the best Sword Master in his generation was not a smart thing to do.

My old mentor looked like he was about to throw this mortal out of the clinic. Gently, of course.

And if he didn’t, I certainly would. But I wouldn’t be gentle about it.

The guy had been coming and going from here for three days and still hadn’t picked up on the fact that I was Master Alchemist Lin. Fuckin’ idiot.

Little Spring walked up to him. “Master Xu. Calm down. Master Alchemist Lin’s prescription works fine.”

Everyone looked at him with skepticism. Even me.

I mean, I knew why it wasn’t working, but no one else seemed to realize it. So how did this brat figure it out?

“Then how do you explain this?!” He gestured to every patient in the clinic. Not one of them didn’t have a relapse.

I used my divine sense to add pressure to him so he’d calm the fuck down and listen properly. “I’ll explain it! However, I need to find evidence first.”

Master Xu glowered at me. Which was fine. I really didn’t care about this asshole’s opinion.

“And where, and how, is a little kid like you going to find evidence?”

I smirked and pressured him even more. He paled.

“Excuse me, but do I answer to you?”

He swallowed.

“We’re leaving!”

“But what about the patients?” The Head Physician asked.

“If what I suspect is true, then we’re going to have more urgent problems to take care of.”

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