When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

It took us hours of running before we finally came to a stop near a small stream surrounded by trees.

Even with my advanced movement technique, my legs felt like they were on fire. I glanced at my brother who had both hands on his knees and breathed in great gasps. He was even more exhausted than I was. We shared a look, then stood back to back to briefly cultivate.

If I were a mortal, I would probably be stretching my calves like my life depended on it. But as a cultivator, I could rely on cycling my base to purify the wear and tear on my muscles, then exhale those impurities and cleanse my aches. It wouldn't get rid of all the pain, but most of it would vanish.

Of course, if we were in Foundation Establishment, we would be able to run at this speed for days on end without experiencing these types of fatigue.

With the insane speed at which we cultivated, it only looked like we stood for a mere minute without doing anything besides resting.

”Okay, ” Unyielding’s voice sounded next to my ear thanks to a secret sound transmission. ”After scanning ahead, I realized that there is a High Rank 2, Violet Single-horned Python. It seems to be guarding the Five Petaled Windy Spider Orchid. It has lost its left eye. I believe it wants to use this orchid to help heal its injury.”

That was dumb. It wouldn't actually regenerate much without other herbs to help it along. But a spirit beast this low level wasn’t actually that smart.

In this world, they didn't gain true human intelligence until they reached Low Stage 3 (the equivalent of a high Golden Core Cultivator) and they didn't gain the ability to change forms and speak until they reached the equivalent of Nascent Soul... Unless we were talking mystical beasts (creatures like Nine-Tailed Foxes or Mystical White Snakes), who had human intelligence at birth... Then there were ascendant beasts. They were scary fuckers who had above human intelligence.... but that was a whole different story since they were creatures like Dragons, Qilins, White Tiger Gods, and Black Turtles. And one did not fuck with dragons and the like.

”We could take the python in a fight if we had to, but, considering that it is higher than our own cultivation, that wouldn’t be easy. Nor would it be quick. So, let’s first try to avoid an all-out fight if we can.”

Shit. Out of all the pills I’d concocted during my months in Golden Aspect City I’d forgotten to make things like sleeping powders. Those might have been useful here... Then again, all bodies worked differently. So it might have been useless even if I had concocted some.

Well, I wasn’t that fond of poisons, so it was easy to understand how I forgot. I didn’t even have any herbs on me that would let me make some either.

“If it is asleep, which it appears to be, then I’ll tie it up with the Anti-Spiritual Essence Rope.”

That was a rope used by sect enforcers to tie up unruly cultivators under Golden Core.

It had a strange effect where, after it was thrown out, it would then wrap around the cultivator or spiritual beast and prevent them from using their energy for however long they were wrapped up. The victim's spiritual energy would be stolen to sustain the tool’s enchantment. However, if it touched the cultivator and wasn't able to properly wrap around them, it would waste its charge and need to refill itself. Because of its design, it couldn't recharge quickly. And those who tried, ruined the rope. But it only took 16-24 hours to recharge from ambient spiritual energy.

”If the rope doesn't work, then we’ll distract it first while we have Little Jujube collect the flower. Once she’s collected the flower, we’ll all escape.

”Worst case scenario, we fight it to its death. I’d rather we not do this as we’ll likely sustain heavy injuries. We have more than just this one plant to collect. We can’t afford to get hurt. Understood?”

We all nodded.

”Good,” he smiled confidently. “Diviner Glittering Iron Omniscience, and Fairy Third Peach Sapling, you're on guard duty. Stay here and protect the kids.”

A vein bulged in Glittering Iron’s forehead but he nodded.

Fairy Third clutched her sleeves and bit her bottom lip but still nodded.

Junior Sect Leader stepped up to Jujube and looked into her eyes. She blushed prettily like a girl helplessly in love.

I kind of wanted to gag. Weren’t the two of them just in a fight? I did not believe for one moment that they were on good terms again just like that.

”Are you sure you’re up for this?” Unyielding asked, voice deep and serious. ”It could be very dangerous.”

She put her arms behind her back and cutely swayed side to side. She smiled showing the two pear dimples that caused some of the weaker-minded sect members to fall in love with her. ”I know. I'm a cultivator too. And I'm the only one here who has experience caring for and collecting spiritual herbs.”

That... Worried the fuck out of me. Fairy Blissful Jujube was not what I would consider skillful when it came to spiritual herbs and we desperately needed this herb to be perfect for the sect leader. I took a step forward to volunteer but Little Spring grabbed my hand and shook his head.

Right. I was trying to stay low-key. Sometimes it was so hard to let kids do things on their own.

Whatever. It was probably for the best since if I got near that beast it would try to rip my head off. Then I’d have to use that talisman Pill Otaku gave me for winning the pill tourney to defend myself.

I did not want to waste it like that.

“But I don’t like the fact that we’re relying on the spirit beast to stay asleep,” Fairy Jujube continued. “I brought some sleeping powder with me. I concocted it myself so it should be very good. Why don’t I spread it on the snake while I pass by to flank it from the back?”

He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents. “Okay. We’ll do that.”

Unyielding, Blissful, and Justice Reaching Divine Blade, all moved stealthily through the forest. I watched them using my divine sense and started telepathically giving Little Spring a play-by-play so he could learn something and wouldn't get bored.

::They’re nearing the area with the horned python. Fairy Jujube is circling around back. She just used her spiritual energy to spread her sleeping powder all over the snake’s head.::

::Justice has unsheathed his blade. Wow, his stance is perfect. We’ll have to see if he can exchange notes with you later.::

Little Spring snorted. ::He’s not as good as you.::

No. No, he was not. I grinned at the kid. ::So what? You need to fight a variety of opponents to improve::

”How... How long do you think it will take them?” Fairy Third Peach Sapling had brought out a handkerchief. She started nervously twisting it into a spiral.

Meanwhile, Unyielding made the first move by sending out the Anti-Spiritual Essence Rope.

Hold up... That snake was not asleep. Jujube’s powder had done shit, and possibly even awoken it. How did these guys not sense that?

The rope neared the snake’s neck.

My eyes widened.

Its tail struck the tool in just the right spot that it flew off to the side and almost hit the Orchid. Unfortunately, this meant that the charge had been expended, making it useless for a day.

Unyielding must have quickly realized that his rope trick wouldn't work since he followed up with a massive blast of fire aimed at the snake’s eye. The beast twisted its noodle body just enough to avoid getting burned.

::Oh damn! The snake just dodged Unyielding's attack! Now it’s using its tail to smack Justice in the face. Holy shit! His ass just went flying!::

Justice jumped back to the fight, blood streaming down his face from both nostrils but he merely wiped it with a handkerchief before sending a barrage of sword Qi strikes at the snake’s side then backing away so the serpent had to slither forward.

Unyielding, created a series of hand seals, forming a massive dragon-looking fire attack that surprised both the snake and me. That was a powerful attack called the Fire as Dragon technique. Unyielding shouldn't be able to use at his realm. No wonder he was the Junior Sect Leader.

Just as I thought the snake would turn into barbeque, it used its horn to deflect the dragon-like flames.

Finally getting around to answering Fairy Third’s earlier question, Glittering Iron said, ”It’s a higher level beast so it may take them a while to get it away from the Orchid.” He yawned arrogantly then smirked at Fairy Third. ”Would you like to make a bet on how long?”

She straightened her spine, but her knuckles were still white. ”What are the terms?”

”One mid-grade spirit stone that we won't see them for at least an hour.”

”Deal. We’ll see them within an hour. Fairy Jujube is with them. So, I can't lose.”

He snorted.

I ignored their bet and kept watching the fight.

Just then the python used a technique to grow huge bat-like wings. It started flapping them. Each beat sent it another foot off the forest floor.

It used its natural ability to fly to strike from a superior position. The attacks coming from it pushed the two Formation Establishment cultivators back faster than ever.

That was when I noticed something...

One eye? Check.

One horn? Check.

Flying? Double-check.

Purple? Triple-check.

Were these cultivators basically fighting the Python Monster equivalent of a 1950s Halloween song?

Yes... yes, they were.

I coughed to stop myself from grinning. This wasn’t the right situation, no matter how humorous I found it.

With each strike, the pair lured the snake further away from the Orchid. Then Unyielding brought out the Fire as Dragon technique, burning the giant snake’s side.

It bellowed in pain and, while still in mid-air, curled into tight coils.

As this was the distraction they were waiting for, Jujube arrived with a whole fucking shovel. She swiftly dug the Orchid out of the ground... But she took way too much dirt. How the hell was that supposed to fit in a damn box?!

Then she took out a fucking enormous jade planter the size of a massive wine jar, stuffed the orchid in it, and stoppered it. After putting it in her storage bag she bolted into the forest. Then after traveling a minute, she dashed toward our direction.

Wait, fuck. Why was she running this way?!

Having finally noticed that something was up, the flying purple python monster glanced back at the flower’s original location. By the way it twisted its body, I could tell that it had become blindingly enraged. Instead of continuing the fight, it flared its snake tongue, probably using it to sniff out the scent of Fairy Blissful.

The spirit beast’s hiss echoed through the forest, hurting my ears even from where I stood. In a flash, it soared over Unyielding and Justice and flew furiously in our direction.

I glanced at Glittering Iron and Fairy Third who had stopped watching the fight with divine sense and had started an argument about an error in the text for the Yin-Yang Blazing Dance Movement Technique. Well, it was more like Glittering Iron argued that the spiritual energy had to pass through the Yongquan acupoint during the casting but Fairy Third meekly pointed out that it could be the Fuliu acupoint.

They were actually both wrong... But what was important, was that they’d stopped paying attention to the fight because it had taken too long.

Seriously? Were these idiots going to tell us to move, or what?

”No! You’re wrong. How could you possibly even consider that?!” Glittering Iron said.

”But my Master even—”

”—Your master, what?”

“How is the fight going?” I asked casually while feeling like I was about to go insane. There was a fucking enraged monster heading our way and these two dumbasses were talking nonsense. We needed to get the fuck out of here.

Glittering Iron glared at me, “How dare you interrupt your seniors.” He stalked over to me and used his superior height to loom. The beast on his shoulder wiggled its bird head aggressively. “It’s bad enough that we have to watch over you useless kids, but now you’re demanding to know information from your superiors? What gives you the gall?”

Bitch. Who the fuck are you calling useless. You may be the damn nephew of my friend but that doesn’t mean I won’t smack you upside—

The rustling of leaves and heavy footfalls of a running Fairy interrupted my thoughts. I stared in horror as the swiftly flying python chased after Jujube... in my goddamn direction.

And as if things weren’t bad enough, she passed within five feet of me before heading into the forest.

This would not have been that bad if I were a regular cultivator. The python would have continued to chase after her to kill her and collect its stolen plant. And if it were angry enough that it had lost all reason, it might have ignored me altogether. But by passing near me, that left the python no choice but to do the same... By passing near, it connected in its little snake brain, me to the person who stole its plant... and because of my Spirit Beast Hatred Attracting Aura — that I just decided the name for —, it paused. Its remaining golden eye slowly faced me.

If it could kill me with its gaze, I would be paste on the forest floor. The giant monster snake coiled up and hissed, showing off its venomous fangs and figuratively killing me with its gag-worthy breath.

I did not wait to die. Instead, I turned and fucking ran, using the shit out of my Consistent Step, Impossible Leap.

“Mooootherfuuuuucker!”

I pulled out the talisman Pill Otaku gave me and slapped it on my arm for protection. Because, even as I ran, I knew that my cultivation level just wasn’t nearly high enough to take on this creature. And I wasn’t some main character from a Xianxia who could suddenly make a breakthrough to defeat it.

Well, not if I didn’t want to die from getting struck by tribulation lightning.

The snake snapped at me with its pearly whites and I jumped to the side, rolled on the ground, and dodged a tail swipe.

I continued forward, using the second part of my movement technique. It was almost as if I teleported a dozen meters, but it also drained me of most of my energy. So I kept running.

But, fuck, I couldn’t keep this up.

I had to get back to the Foundation Establishment disciples. It was their job to take care of this thing... And considering its hatred for us and how advanced its level was, they would have to kill it.

But that was the thing with living in a world like this. One either had to adapt and learn to kill when necessary or one would die. And I had adapted long ago.

I at least stuck with my own moral compass. It wasn’t a good and pure and honest one, but it was my own. I’d been criticized for being too kind. I’d been criticized for being too vicious. And after all the criticism I learned that the people calling me out on it really didn’t matter all that much in the first place. They could go fuck themselves.

Some beings really needed to mind their own fucking business... Like this ridiculous Halloween Python! I wasn’t the one who actually took the fucking plant, goddamnit!

Seriously, where was a giant mongoose spiritual beast when I needed one?

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