Vaudevillain

“Ugh!” Gameset exclaimed, dropping the robotic arm. “That is so gross.”

Her comment got her a kick in the back and a face full of street. Gustaf laughed as he made the attack, his voice a mechanical buzz as he avoided another strike from Firestarter.

“Is this all that amounts to heroes these days?” the villain asked. “I had thought you had a bit more power.”

“I just need to get amped up, dude,” Firestarter said. “Hey, princess, copy me.”

“Must you use such a nickname?” Mirror Mirror complained. Nevertheless, she transformed.

Two Firestarters now stood before Gustaf. They lunged, fire burning from their hands. Gustaf stepped back with a mocking laugh before blasting them with a laser. “Oh sh*t!” Firestarter exclaimed. He ducked, Mirror Mirror matching the movement as the laser flew overhead.

Firestarter kicked out, fire scorching his boot to hit Gustaf in the leg, Mirror Mirror aiming for the other. The villain continued to step back, keeping just out of range of the strikes.

Gustaf yawned, placing his one working hand over his mouth. “Such a letdown.”

“Don’t worry, we aren’t done yet,” Gameset said.

The heroine flew forward with a dropkick aimed right at the villain’s chest. Gustaf caught the blow with his working hand, grunting with exertion. Gameset let her momentum fall and dropped to the ground. Before she landed her body twisted, changing the momentum into a spinning kick at Gustaf’s feet. The villain jumped above the strike, which put him in the perfect position for Firestarter.

“Shoryukan!” the hero shouted as his flaming fist connected in an uppercut. Mirror Mirror’s connected at the same time, the two heroes leaving scorch marks on the Gustaf’s face.

Gustaf landed on the ground with a thud. Gameset stood, brushing a bit of street off her clothes before moving toward Gustaf. Of a Kind ran forward the meet everyone, assuming that the battle was over.

“Surrender,” Gameset said to the downed villain.

Gustaf laughed, the mechanical buzzing halting in a cough. “You think you’ve beaten me? No, we’ve barely begun!”

Gustaf’s pulled his legs up so his feet stood flat to the ground. Then the villain pulled himself upward, legs first. Gustaf’s back bent at an impossible angle, and his one arm flopped to the ground. Then his body curled into an upright position, a horrendus smile on his face.

Gameset recoiled from the movement. “Okay, there was no reason to make that so disgusting.”

“Oh contrare,” Gustaf said. “I find this gives me a rather, horrifying edge.”

Mirror Mirror shifted back to her base form. “It’s au contraire, you philistine. Of all the people that should know that, I’d expect it to be you.”

Gustaf’s head twisted to face hers. “Ah, deposed royalty lecturing me. Your arrogance never ceases, does it. Well, no matter. This distraction has gone on for long enough.”

The villain jumped, his one arm grabbing onto one of the tower’s many metal supports.

“Get back here!” Gameset shouted, pulling her rifle from her inventory. She fired multiple shots at the Gustaf’s arm, but each one ricocheted off the metal. Of a Kind joined her, but was also unable to do damage.

“Au revoir, heroes!” Gustaf laughed. “If you need me, I shall be orbiting the earth, broadcasting my message of enlightenment to all!”

Gameset opened her mouth to shout, only for the sound of rockets to drown everything out. Rumbling followed, the ground shaking so much that it knocked everyone over. Gameset turned to see the foundations of the Gustaf tower rising from the ground. Red hot fire followed as rockets inside the supports activated. The heroine caught a glimpse of Gustaf’s detached hand next to another switch. She swore it was waving at her.

The heroes stood, stunned from the sound blasting all around them as the rockets roared. Flames struck the ground like water from a sink, and the heroes collectively realized they were in the path. Thinking quickly, Mirror Mirror moved opposite of Firestarter and shifted to match him. The two heroes worked as one, powers activating to halt the incoming flames. Some heat still seeping in, however, and Gameset found herself sweating.

Of a Kind pulled at his shirt collar as everyone waited for the wave of heat to vanish. It eventually did, revealing a towerless plaza and chaos.

Approximo had finally figured out a way to chase Dr. Zlo. It involved some creative shapeshifting use and made the hero look silly, but it got the job done. The hero had focused on a civilian’s cotton shirt, transforming his torso into the clothing. Since his power let him change his mass, the now much lighter Approximo was able to use the shrunken rockets to reach Dr. Zlo. It didn’t stop the hero from looking like a piece of discarded laundry but this wasn’t the time to get embarrassed.

As the hero chased Dr. Zlo, he tried to find something else to shift into. The fact that his power required a material to be in his field of view sorely limited the possibilities. Changing mass made up for it, somewhat, but it made it hard to find something combat useable.

But perhaps Approximo was thinking to rigidly. His power didn’t seem to have a limit as long as what he transformed into wasn’t organic or too complex.

An inkling of an idea wormed its way into Dylan’s mind. The man smiled. If what he thought of worked it would open up more possibilities.

The hero spun, twisting his torso to tighten and make himself as streamlined as possible. It made him marginally faster, but that was all Approximo needed to get in range.

“Dr. Zlo!” the hero shouted as he got close.

The villain spun. “You again?” he growled in surprise. “How many times must I beat you for you to learn your lesson?”

“You are not my teacher!” Approximo shouted. “But I have others who are, and they taught me something recently.”

“Oh?” Dr. Zlo cackled, aiming the shrink ray. “What’s that?”

The hero focused, working hard to get his power to choose what he wanted. He flew upward as Dr. Zlo’s shrink ray fired, barely missing as the hero maneuvered above the villain.

“What, do you think that being above me will let you win?” Dr. Zlo aimed the shrink ray and fired again.

Dylan dodged, twisting his shirt torso around the beam before focusing on his power. It took a moment for the player’s power interface but it eventually understood what was asked of it.

The hero smiled. “I am going to, as Star says, bring the house down!”

Approximo’s shrunken limbs ballooned, expanding into four sturdy brick walls. His torso filled out, becoming various rooms while his head flattened to become a roof. Soon, a copy of one of the plaza’s houses hovered above Dr. Zlo.

“What?” Dr. Zlo shouted.

Without rockets to keep him in the air, Approximo plummeted. The entirety of a house fell, aimed straight at Dr. Zlo.

“Impossible!” the villain shouted.

Panicked, Dr. Zlo rocketed out of the way, but wasn’t fast enough. One of his rocket boots clipped the edge of the house as it fell, crushing the rocket and sending Dr. Zlo spiraling to the ground. Approximo shifted back to himself, only to realize that his momentum had not changed.

“Oh, that’s not good,” the hero said as he slammed into the ground.

Approximo grunted as his health took a nosedive, but it wasn’t quite enough to put him out of the fight. The hero stood, shaking off the debris as he looked for Dr. Zlo.

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