Vaudevillain

For defeating the Super Apollo, you have earned Reputation! Your current Reputation is now S.

“And that’s the end of that,” Dr. Zlo said, wiping his hands of it.

Ms. Tama walked over. “A rather boring end, turning to dust. Reminds me of my previous husband.”

“You did it, boss!” Cass exclaimed.

“As if there was ever any doubt,” Dr. Zlo gloated.

“I’ll admit Hon, I thought you were off your rocker when you had your friend here make another sound companion,” Mabel said.

“That will teach you to question my methods!” Dr. Zlo said. “You see, I knew the combination of the Dramatizer and your sonic purse would create a nasty mess of noise that not even a god could endure! The Airblaster would help the sound travel, breaking the so-called god’s control over the world.”

Dylan was lying through his teeth, of course. He’d only thought about Apollo’s sound control after he’d throw the items to Jack and had used the forcefield. But there was no way Dr. Zlo would admit to any fault by that point so he had to roll with it. Luckily, Jack’s powers had some leeway and Tonedef had a lack of musical talent deeper than the Marianas Trench.

“You’re mind is amazing, boss!” Cass praised.

Dr. Zlo smirked with pride. He turned to the rest of the nearby minions. Hodge Podge was introducing himself to Tonedef, attempting to take the new monster’s hands away, ‘for posterity.’ Tonedef let it happen, but as soon as Hodge Podge pocketed the floating appendage it moved to sit right back at Tonedef’s side. It seemed to be causing a loop.

“Perhaps you should reign your new creations in,” Dr. Zlo said to Ms. Tama.

Ms. Tama looked over. “Hm? Oh, dear me. Tonedef, stop teasing poor Hodge Podge. It’s not his fault he can’t help himself around arms.”

Tonedef shrugged.

It was at this moment when the Jacques decided to burst into the room, carrying instruments that looked suspiciously like personal effects. Unlike the heavy, clublike instruments the nymphs used, these were closer to something a person might actually see in a band. Dylan wondered where the heck they got them.

“And just where have you been?” Dr. Zlo demanded.

The Jacques looked between each other, confused. Dr. Zlo had told them to stay with the car, correct? One of them pantomimed as much.

“Which begs the question as to why you’re here,” Dr. Zlo said accusingly. “And!” Dr. Zlo pointed at the Jacques for emphasis. “Why you have such fine instruments with you!”

The Jacques looked between each other before the ones behind started pushing a Jacques in front toward Dr. Zlo. The Jacques tried to fight back but was no match for the pile of minions against him. His feet skid across the ground as the Jacques placed him in front of Dr. Zlo to explain.

What followed were a series of gestures and movements that Dylan couldn’t make heads or tails of. He was used to the Jacques cartoonish antics, and had a good understanding of their sign language, but this was beyond him.

Tonedef stepped in, translating directly in his monotone, robotic voice. “Oh lord, Dr. Zlo, our creator and grand designer. We only wished to supplicate and support you in your musical endeavors. When you assaulted the temple, we took the Zlomobile back to the hideout and procured our weapons of choice. It took us longer than expected as some of the others fought over who was to play which instrument. We returned once we were all geared and ready, and we even made sure to practice for a minute before heading inside. However, by that time your grand prowess had already defeated the threat. As such, we wish to play an etude to celebrate.”

Dylan blinked, the surprise evident on his face. The Jacques had the same expressions. None of them ever thought to try and find a translator to talk to their illustrious leader.

Before Dr. Zlo could compose himself, the Jacques rushed as one toward Tonedef. Synchronized hands grabbed the monster’s torso, lifting him up in celebration. Tonedef laughed, the sound more like a robotic gooses honk than an actual laugh.

“Knock it off!” Dr. Zlo demanded. The Jacques instantly stopped. Unfortunately Tonedef was mid toss when it happened. There was a terrible crash as the metal monster landed on a full drumset one of the Jacques had somehow carried over.

Dr. Zlo winced as cymbals clattered to the ground. “I have no time for your games. Mabel, have the Jacques clean up the rest of this temple. Ms. Tama and I are heading back to the base.”

“Of course, Hon,” Mabel said.

“What about me, boss?” Cass asked.

“You, Cass, are returning with me and then taking the Zlomobile back here to collect everyone,” Dr. Zlo said.

“You got it, boss,” Cass said.

The group split up. Dr. Zlo stepped out of the temple, the sounds of music echoing behind him. He scowled.

“Useless minions. I don’t know why I keep them around.”

“Well, boss, they do come in handy,” Cass said. “Remember when they won you that race? Or how about all the times they distracted others so you could do actual work?”

“A broken clock is still right twice a day, Cass,” Dr. Zlo said.

“They’ve helped more than twice, boss,” Cass pointed out.

“Cass, while it is admirable for you to stick up for a coworker, make sure not to take it too far,” Dr. Zlo warned. “I do not tolerate backtalk.”

“I know, boss,” Cass said. “Was only trying to point it out is all.”

Dr. Zlo opened the door to the Zlomobile, letting Ms. Tama inside.

“Such a charmer,” she said.

“I aim to please,” Dr. Zlo replied. “Especially for one such as yourself. Crafting an entire minion in a few seconds is an impressive feat. Not as impressive as my inventions, but still a feat above most others.”

“You flatterer. Next you’ll be asking me to dance with you under the pale moon light,” Ms. Tama tittered.

“I would never stoop so low as that,” Dr. Zlo said. “Pale moon light is for dancing with devils. No, if we were to dance, it would be with style! Aplomb! The whole world would see our dance and tremble in terror at its majesty!”

“Careful Dr. Zlo, I might just have to take you up on that offer,” Ms. Tama flirted.

“We’re here, boss,” Cass said.

“Excellent,” Dr. Zlo said. “Be on your way, Cass.”

“I’ll be back, boss,” Cass said.

The Zlomobile teleported away, leaving Dylan and Jack alone in Dr. Zlo’s secret lab.

“That, was hilarious,” Jack giggled. “Are your outings always so ridiculous?”

“Not all the time,” Dylan chuckled. “But I’m starting to think the AI helps push certain scenarios towards certain people.”

“Maybe its because you have a natural inclination toward insanity,” Jack said. “Dr. Zlo is rather eccentric.”

“Dr. Zlo is megalomaniacal,” Dylan said. “Eccentricity is reserved for those scientists who build supersuits or superdrugs that hapless people find under strange and mysterious circumstances.”

“If you say so,” Jack said. “So how serious are you about the dance thing?”

“How serious are you?” Dylan asked. “Because I don’t mind thinking up some crazy dance escapades for Ms. Tama and Dr. Zlo.”

“Let’s think about it after the next event,” Jack said. “No reason to fill our plate now when we already have so much going on. Plus, patch notes are soon. We should make sure nothing crazy is happening with them.”

“Knowing Vert, we’re going to get some dumb changes,” Dylan said.

“That’s never in doubt,” Jack said.

She yawned. “Goodness, it’s getting late.”

Dylan checked the time. “Oh wow, you’re right. That took longer than I thought.”

“I think I’ll get off for the night,” Jack said. “Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“Anytime,” Dylan said. He grabbed Jack’s hand and gave it a kiss. “Until then, Ms. Tama.”

Jack lightly blushed. “Until then, Dr. Zlo.”

The two players logged out, going their respective ways.

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