Vaudevillain

“So, good guy Dr. Zlo,” Dylan said.

He leaned back in his chair, his computer screen open with a word document. Oro listened in over voice call.

“I think he should have magic powers,” Oro said. “Go complete opposites.”

“But still intelligent, right? And not a strongman?” Dylan asked.

Oro shrugged. “Dunno. Didn’t think that far.”

“Magic powers work, but Dr. Zlo already has his magic cane.”

Oro’s eye twinkled. “Wait, what if that’s the idea?”

“What do you mean?” Dylan asked.

“Dr. Zlo’s top hat, monocle, and cane are all magical and fuel his powers. He uses his ingenious mind in conjunction to it, making small gadgets that help out.”

“I like it,” Dylan said. It fit the opposite idea that they were going for and it kept Dr. Zlo’s intelligence to boot. “So, what magic powers?”

“The cane is easy enough,” Oro said. “Just make it the exact same as what Dr. Zlo has now. Maybe load it up with more helpful spells? The hat could be something like a teleporter. Because of hte whole pulling the rabbit out of the hat schtick.”

“That sounds good,” Dylan said. “ And the monocle can have something like truesight and other vision enhancements.”

“Ooh, we could do one for x-ray vision, heat vision, and a bunch of others,” Oro said. “And then the gadgets are all things that enhance his magic or something.”

“Or help repair the city, catch and hold criminals, or a number of other things that his magic can’t do normally,” Dylan said.

Oro nodded. “Yeah! And he can call himself Dr. Dobro!”

“I’m guessing that means good?” Dylan asked with a laugh.

“Got it in one,” Oro answered. “That way we have Dr. Evil versus Dr. Good.”

“Truly a classic fight for the ages,” Dylan laughed.

The two continued to brainstorm, coming up with various gadgets and weaponry for Dr. Dobro to use against the villains of this alternate world. They kept the rocket boots the same, as neither thought changing them was necessary. The Zloppelin, Zlomobile, and other vehicles changed, however, becoming a single machine that switched modes at the touch of a button.

“I think we’ve got the bones situated,” Oro said. “Now we need the meat of it all. How does Dr. Dobro sound? How does he act?”

“I would usually say Dr. Zlo but good,” Dylan said, “but that sounds more like ‘foolish mortal! Your carelessness while crossing the street endangers you and others! In the future ensure you are looking both ways before crossing!”

Oro burst out laughing. “Yeah, no that’s not going to work at all. Though I do want to see Dr. Zlo safety videos now.”

Dylan laughed along and acted out another one. “You reprobate! How dare you ignore the basic safety etiquette of lifting with your legs! Do you wish for the curse of a bad back and terrible posture?”

“Stop!” Oro laughed.

“One more,” Dylan said. He cleared his throat. “Fools! Your reprehensible actions have endangered the safety of the mission and of each other! Not to mention your foolish foolishness has rendered you broken and at my mercy! And now you wish to escape from my machinations? Never! Sit still and accept these bandages like the fool you are!”

Oro wheezed. It took him a minute to recover, Dylan laughing along all the while.

“Okay, you’ve successfully made me want to see a good Dr. Zlo who talks like the evil cartoon villain,” Oro said.

“Well now that we have the whole multiverse thing I don’t see why we can’t,” Dylan said.

“True,” Oro answered. “But back to Dr. Dobro.”

“I’m thinking he’s got a deeper voice,” Dylan said. “Like the older pulp action heroes you see in movies. You know, the ones with chiseled jaws and abs that burst out of their shirt.”

“So good old Dobro is muscular?” Oro asked.

“Maybe?” Dylan said. “I definitely think he needs to be the gentleman scientist type but I’m half-and-half on him being lean or stocky.”

“If we’re really going opposites, stocky is probably the way to go,” Oro said.

“But he still needs to look like Dr. Zlo,” Dylan said. “And being skinny is part of it.”

“What if we give him something like a runner’s body?” Oro asked. “Lean and fit, but you can totally tell he gets out in the field and works.”

“Unlike Dr. Zlo, who sits in a lab all day and broods,” Dylan said. “Yeah, I like it. Let’s go with that.”

“Lean body, chiseled jaw,” Oro listed. “How about a different mustache?”

“Yeah, something refined and nowhere near as curly as Dr. Zlo’s,” Dylan said.

“Bushy?” Oro asked.

Dylan opened up his search engine and looked up mustache styles. “Actually, thinking about it we just need to make the curly mustache thicker. Dr. Dobro can have that refined kind of mustache. Curled slightly at the end and much thicker in the middle.”

“So maybe more like a handlebar mustache?” Oro asked.

“Yeah I think so,” Dylan said. “And that might be all we have to do other than give Dr. Dobro a nice smile.”

“But how does he talk?” Oro asked. “We never actually answered that question.”

“What if had a bunch of English gentleman idioms or something?” Dylan mused. “Like, Oh I say! Or hullo good chap!”

“Positively enlightening!” Oro said, trying out the idea. “I say old chum, perhaps you could endeavor to halt your malicious activities?”

“Yeah, something like that for sure,” Dylan said.

“Bully for me then!” Oro laughed. “You know, I think I could get into this.”

“I’d hate for you to not like it,” Dylan said. “It’s not worth it if you aren’t having fun.”

“Well I’m definitely going to enjoy doing this,” Oro laughed. “When are we planning on holding the event?”

“Thomas wants to do it when the next expansion comes out,” Dylan said. “Compete with Vert or something.”

“Eh, doesn’t really matter to me,” Oro said. “That’s his vendetta, not mine. But that’s probably a long time away yeah?”

“At least it gives us time to hammer out the details of the even and all that,” Dylan said. “I need to figure out what we need for my morality switching machine, and then we need to find the places where those items are located.”

“What would happen if Dr. Zlo can’t get any of his materials?” Oro asked. “Say there are too many on the hero side or something?”

“Hmm, you’re right,” Dylan said. “Maybe the device itself is ready but Dr. Zlo needs specific pieces to refine it? Stopping him from getting those pieces increases the countdown or weakens the effect maybe?”

“Could work,” Oro said. “You could also just have it fail completely and just have Dr. Zlo come out for a giant showdown against all the heroes.”

“I don’t know, that seems real similar to what’s already going on,” Dylan said. “Isn’t the big fight against the NPC Dr. Zlo something like that? You thwart him every step of the way and then head to his space station to fight him?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Oro said. “Scratch a big boss fight then.”

“We can have one,” Dylan said. “I just think it should be Dr. Zlo and co protecting his device while the heroes try to stop it.”

“Didn’t you already do that with the death ray?” Oro asked.

“Crap, you’re right,” Dylan said. “Um, okay how about the morality changer has to use specific items related to various heroes to change them. We grab a few already, turning either player or NPC heroes evil and then everything after that is the villains getting the hero items and the heroes stopping them from doing so.”

“Sounds like a messed up game of capture the flag,” Oro laughed. “I love it. Let’s see what Thomas thinks?”

The two called their friend up, telling him their thoughts.

“Not a bad idea,” Thomas answered. “We could make capturing the morality machine the midpoint of the event or something. If the heroes get the machine they can start looking for villain items and start turning the villains good.”

“I like that,” Oro said.

“We should see how quick the machine runs when you build it,” Thomas said. “If it’s almost instant we can make it so players can steal items from each other and use them on the machine to force them to switch sides.”

“I think it would at least take a minute or so,” Dylan said. “Give people some time to either try and stop the machine or make an escape with the item. Plus it plays into the whole cartoon villain idea. Can’t have a villain instantly completing their plan, it just isn’t right.”

“That it isn’t,” Oro said.

“Then lets have you build the machine first, then we can go from there,” Thomas said. “If you can do more than one hero at a time we can still use the idea.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on it,” Dylan said.

He looked at the clock. “Later though. I gotta get going soon.”

“Alright man,” Oro said. “See you soon.”

“Yep, see ya,” Dylan said, logging off.

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