Vaudevillain

"Stop right there, evildoer!" A booming voice cried. "This match of Malevolence is over!"

Dr. Zlo whirled, coming face to face with a colorful hero dressed in an orange jumpsuit. A yellow cape flowed from the hero's shoulders, giving onlookers the impression of a burning flame.

"Ah, if it isn't my old foe, Celsior." Dr. Zlo commented. "Didn't I leave you in Nimsberg, struggling to recover as a horde of hacked diesel machines dogpiled you toward a vat of lava?"

Celsior looked at Dr. Zlo, confidence radiating from the hero, "You did! But you can't keep a good hero down!"

"So it would seem," Dr. Zlo commented. The villain looked back to his group of minions loading Rollie onto the Zloppelin, "Hurry and load him on already!"

"You don't have to tell me twice," Quartet said, rushing the Jacques.

Dr. Zlo turned back to Celsior, "Now, would you be so kind as to leave? I have a plan to enact."

"No dice," Celsior replied, shaking his head. "You need to pay for your crimes against the good people of this world."

Dr. Zlo brandished his cane, unleashing a swarm of nanite gel that formed into a fist, "You have a very optimistic view of people."

The two enemies clashed, creating a small airwave as their respective powers raked against each other. Celsior, contrary to his name, emitted a constant stream of radioactivity that slowly whittled down the enemies he faced. Usually, such a power would be detrimental to a hero, but Celsior had help from two others. The first helper was a simple crafter, someone who could use the hero's constant energy release to create special tools, like a wristband that controlled temperature. It was the second helper that made the hero a true contender. The power to make items invisible for a time helped immensely in fights against evil.

Quartet brought the captured target aboard while Dr. Zlo faced off against the hero. Once the Jacques deposited Rollie, Quartet rushed to the control room and started activating the Zloppelin. Jacques around the minion tried to stop Quartet, but the minion shoved them away with his booming voice.

"Dr. Zlo will catch up with us, but he wouldn't want us to lose our quarry! I'm making sure we don't lose it! Now, you don't want that to happen? Right?"

The Jaques shook their head vehemently.

"That's what I thought," Quartet answered. The minion pointed at the others, "You all go check and make sure nothing's broken. Got it?"

The Jacques in the room nodded, intimidated by Quartet's booming voice. As they left, the minion turned back to Dr. Zlo's control panel.

"As if I'm sticking around here. Risking my chances with a hero like that? No way. I'll just tell boss that the Jacques wanted to leave. And if he doesn't come back, all the better."

"Why, Quartet. I had no clue you felt that way," Dr. Zlo's voice said.

Panicked, Quartet turned to see his leader sitting in a chair, his face obscured in shadow.

"B-boss!" Quartet stuttered. "Aren't you supposed to be fighting Celsior?"

Dr. Zlo stood from his chair and walked over to the control panel, nonchalantly pressing a button. A projector screen opened up to reveal the hero Celsior kicking Dr. Zlo around. Quartet, confused, looked between both Dr. Zlo's, the minion's finger stupidly pointing between them.

"It's amazing what we can do with technology these days, isn't it?" Dr. Zlo said.

Quartet looked back at the screen to see Celsior kick Dr. Zlo's head off! The minion flinched back, surprised by the gruesome display.

"Oh, it's only a machine," Dr. Zlo said, placing a hand on Quartet and forcing the minion to look.

Sure enough, Quartet saw Dr. Zlo's body spark, then whirl in place to tackle Celsior before he could leave.

"I always love that trick," the villain said. "No one ever expects a robot to move without its head."

Quartet nodded frantically. Dr. Zlo looked down and smiled at his minion.

"Oh yes. You were going on about leaving me behind, weren't you?"

"No, no!" Quartet proclaimed. "I would never be so bold!"

"Yes, must have been some other Dr. Zlo then," the villain mused.

"That's right! See, I knew it was a Zlobot! All along! The whole thing was an act, boss!"

"Really, Quartet?" Dr. Zlo said with an air of surprise. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"I'm a great actor, boss!" Quartet boasted in desperation.

Dr. Zlo grinned, "Then you won't mind running point for our next mission, either. Will you?"

Quartet froze, "Next mission?"

"Of course," Dr. Zlo nodded. "Do you think I would leave things at just two kidnapped people? No, we need at least four for my plans."

Quartet paled, "And you need me to lead the next mission too?"

"Why I think it would be obvious," Dr. Zlo said. "After all, you said it yourself. You have great acting skills."

Quartet scrunched his face. "Me and my big mouth," the minion whispered.

The ride to Dr. Zlo's next target was uneventful but loud. Quartet repeatedly complained about the Jacques antics around the Zloppelin, his sing-song voice wearing down Dr. Zlo's patience like a chisel chipping stone. The minion didn't do much more than that, however. So Dr. Zlo left things at that. It wouldn't do the villain any good to render Quartet inoperable quite yet; the minion still needed to perform his task.

The Zloppelin landed a few minutes later in the middle of an empty parking lot. Dead leaves and trash billowed away from the vehicle, creating a clearing for Dr. Zlo to step out safely.

"Ah, smell that air," Dr. Zlo said, taking a whiff of the city.

"It smells like a dump," Quartet said.

"That's because it is a dump," Dr. Zlo said. "But not just any dump. This dump of a city here holds the best television and movie stars the world over."

Dr. Zlo walked forward a few feet and turned to his minions, "Gentlemen! Welcome to Angeli!"

The Jacques clapped while Quartet looked slightly put-out.

"What's your plan this time?" the minion asked.

"Quite simple," Dr. Zlo said. The villain walked a few feet forward, then thrust his cane in the air. Quartet and the other Jacques followed the rod, looking up at a billboard above the buildings.

"Re-live the classic tale of high stakes crime with Foggy and The Robber?" Quartet asked.

"That's right," Dr. Zlo nodded. "And you," he pointed his cane at Quartet, "Are going to get us a foot in the door."

"How do you propose that?" Quartet demanded.

"Simple, you audition."

Angeli, known as glamourtown by the NPC civilians, hosted possibly the largest variety of cultures west of the World of Supers continent. Architecture from all over the world mixed throughout the city to form a unique blend of buildings that attracted the eye of tourists all around. Naturally, most assumed the town's nickname came from the eye-catching buildings.

This was far from the truth, and anyone who spent more than a day in Angeli could tell you why. The city hosted the largest number of actors the world over, and many of them were in a constant state of one-upping each other. At any point in the day, if one wasn't looking up at the buildings, a tourist could find a semi-famous movie star wearing a gaudy outfit to catch people's attention. These almost famous would hang around the shops and stores of the actually famous in the vain hope that a photographer would picture their outfit in the next magazine. Those truly famous couldn't care less about the cutthroat oneupmanship, already having left that part of their life behind. However, they did get annoyed when those below them tried to use them for their own gain.

Below even the semi-famous were the hopefuls—auditioners who desperately wanted to rise through the ranks off of their one big break. The truly desperate ones tended to join the more unsavory films, hoping that another talent scout would discover their ability. It was an audition for one of these films where Quartet ended up.

"Alright, you're auditioning for the part of Jeb in Hillbillies from Hell Six: Redneck Rising, that correct?" the director said.

"Yes," Quartet said, his voice low and angry. Dr. Zlo had shoved the minion into blue overalls and a faded plaid shirt. "To look the part," Dr. Zlo said. The outfit disgusted Quartet, no one in their right mind would ever, ever, wear such drab fashion.

(Quartet completely ignored his own hiccups when it came to what was fashionable, deciding he'd rather judge others than perform a bout of introspection.)

"Great, at least you're looking the part," the casting agent said.

Quartet stood before three others, a script in his hand for the aforementioned Hillbillies from Hell series. Studios had run the schlocky show to the ground in its first movie. Despite the tired and tacky plot, producers and executives still decided to make a new sequel of the farcical show every few years.

For some reason, the other auditioners were excited about starring in this show.

"I hear they got Brandon Freesier to star!" Quartet overheard as he walked into the audition room.

"I know! Can you believe it! He's like, the best when it comes to these movies," another said.

Quartet was derisive then, and the feeling hadn't gone away after he read the script. Though that was in part because Dr. Zlo had signed Quartet up to play the main villain's hapless minion. Quartet couldn't believe it! Once again, his boss was poking fun at Quartet's position.

"Alright, start when ready," the director said.

That was Quartet's cue, and the minion took them. Everyone watched as the minion split into four, his various alter egos coming out. Startled, the others in the room tried to react, but Quartet started singing before they could do anything. A booming noise knocked everyone to the ground, and Quartet sauntered over to grab the director.

"You better be worth all of this," the minion complained.

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