Vaudevillain

Dylan went first. "I've been thinking about trapping the garden with carnivorous plants and entangling vines. I was also thinking about adding some minor ambiance to the mansion. Stuff like a weather machine and villainous music."

"The garden's a good start," Sweet Dream said, "but we should have some stronger minions. No offense but yours are a bit… goofy."

"Yeah, that's fair. I was thinking about making an upgrade anyways. Bring them out later as the deadlier version when people get complacent."

"Dude what if we each though up our own theme for minions?" Surfsup chimed in. "I could totally have a bunch of surfer dudes going around. And Dream could have some chocolate monsters!"

John looked at Dylan, "you think you can do that?"

"Long as I have all the materials. My power is basically one giant fetch quest."

"Cool, try it out."

Dylan opened his power tab. "How strong do we want the minions to be?"

"I need mine able to fight a shark and win," Surfsup said. "Wait, no! Make my minions sharks! We need a pool of sharks with lasers."

"Alright, one shark minion coming up..." Dylan trailed off as he typed the minion into the tab. Before he hit enter, he stopped. "Wait. Instead of making you guys some minions I should make a factory that allows for customized minions. That way you guys can use it even if I'm not here."

"That's a good idea," John agreed.

Dylan erased what he wrote and entered in the new idea.

Customizable minion factory

This factory has the ability to create any type of minion that a person might need. Just enter your idea into the factory computer with a short description and add the desired materials. Voila! Your new minion is born!

3-D printer (20)

Laptop computer (15)

Shape-memory alloy (1 lb.)

Bathtub (1)

Conveyor belt (1)

"Gonna need a few things. Some shape-memory alloy, a bathtub, and a conveyor belt."

"A bathtub? Why would it want a bathtub?" Asked Sweet Dream.

Dylan shrugged. "Sometimes it asks for odd things."

"Well, I think that's easy enough to get," John said. "We can use the new secret identity function to buy the materials. Plus it gives us a chance to find contacts for power enhancement and the like."

"We still need to fix up the base," Sweet Dream reminded.

"We could split up."

Surfsup raised his hand. "Dude let me go out shopping."

"I should probably go out too," Dylan said.

"Then Dream and I will fix the base up." John turned to the woman, "that good with you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm good with that."

"Awesome."

Dylan and Surfsup started walking toward the front door. "Oh, Dylan?" John called.

"Yeah?"

"Grab me as much tech as you can while you're out there." He pulled a wad of cash out of his inventory and tossed it to Dylan. He caught it and continued his way outside.

On the front porch of his hideout, Dylan opened the menu and activated his secret identity.

A new box appeared in Dylan's vision.

The name tab highlighted.

The highlighted tab moved down to occupation.

Finally, the backstory portion of the box lit up.

Surfsup switched on his secret identity and turned to Dylan. "Dude, you ready?"

"One second. Gotta create this secret identity thing." Dylan engrossed himself in the menu.

"Alright. Yell at me when you're ready." Surfsup jumped onto his board and started to ride the currents of air.

Dylan was stumped on what name to choose. He debated about going with Dr. Zlo, as he figured the villain's name was his real persona. But then he also figured Dr. Zlo would create a few on-the-nose identities. Yeah, Dr. Zlo would think up that screamed, "villain secret identity!"

The question was how obvious he should be. "Hey Surf?"

"What's up dude?"

"Children's cartoon or gritty noir film."

"Children's cartoon."

"Thanks."

"Anytime, dude." Surfsup went back to surfing the air.

Dylan entered his best childish cartoon name and moved onto his occupation. This wasn't hard for him. Dr. Zlo was a scientist, anything else would be sacrilegious. He typed the job into the occupation tab and moved onto backstory. After giving it a bit of thought Dylan typed in a simple motivation. Finished, he looked over his secret identity once again.

As a child, Eric knew he was destined for greatness. Unfortunately, the rest of the world didn't think so. Bullied by larger classmates Eric spent his time in toilets or on flagpoles. His teachers were no help either, treating his genius as a disruptive interruption. When he graduated, Eric vowed to get revenge on those that looked down on him.

His college years were much the same. Eric would diligently work hard in class only to have the teachers spurn his genius. Underneath Eric's mild demeanor he fumed. Why couldn't others see his greatness?

His chance came when his college received a grant to study the nature of phlebotinium. Eric was the first to put his name in for the chance at an assistant position. He wasn't chosen. Some student part of the research club was chosen.

This didn't stop Eric, he knew that if he had the chance to study the phlebotinium he would be recognized for his genius. In the middle of the night, he snuck into the lab by stealing one of the professor's IDs. The glowing material stood behind a glass barrier, waiting to be examined. Eric immediately opened the case to study the material.

When the case opened, Eric was exposed to the energies of the phlebotinium. His mind expanded, learning how to create the most impossible creations. The secrets of all science unlocked itself, and Eric gained an intellect greater than any researcher.

Eric realized that with his newfound power he could take revenge on all those who wronged him. By why stop there? With this power, he could control the entire world! And thus, the villainous Dr. Zlo was born!

Dylan nodded. That should do it. Though on second thought maybe it was too much. The origin story certainly felt like something out of a children's cartoon. It was the simple sort of plot that he saw all the time as a kid. But he was an adult now, maybe the backstory should have a bit more to it. There was also the fact that the backstory seemed a bit too mundane for someone of Dr. Zlo's caliber.

Surfsup sailed past Dylan's face, performing a breaststroke and holding his breath as if he was underwater. He didn't want to keep his friend waiting so Dylan shelved the thoughts for now. He closed out of the secret identity window, he could always come back to the identity later. He turned on the secret identity function and looked up at Surfsup. "I'm ready." A green circle next to Dr. Zlo's name lit up and the name Eric Vil appeared in parentheses.

"Dude finally! I've been waiting forever. Let's go get this shopping done!"

Surfsup lowered a hand for Dylan to grab. He took it and the two flew off towards one of the many shopping centers. Along the way, Dylan saw a number of orange-skinned aliens assault a few buildings. Deadly rays of energy would lance out to strike at various barricades and entrenched defenses. Periodically, players would charge out of the structures, powers at the ready.

More often than not, the players would win their fights. The alien's armor would tank a few hits from a punch, or a fireball, or some other power, but eventually the group would fall. As the aliens fell a ring of energy appeared that blocked all incoming attacks and whisked the alien back to the mothership. Sometimes a gun or piece of armor sat behind after the teleportation. Oftentimes a small piece of a glowing orange rock remained after the teleport.

"Dude, I can't wait for our base to get attacked," Surfsup said.

"I wonder if Vert will scale the encounter difficulty any," Dylan mused.

"Oh, dude, maybe we can pick how hard it is for some extra loot!"

"Nah Vert wouldn't do that. This is a sandbox game remember?"

The two continued their flight over the city, chatting about the various new mechanics. Outside of the base attacks, the rest of the area looked to be running like normal. All except for the government district. A barricade of alien metal had been erected around the town hall and other governmental buildings. Quli patrolled along the barricade walls, taking potshots at anything that moved.

Surfsup looked over at the wall, his face scrunched in calculation. "Dude how close do you think I can get before I get shot?"

"No clue, we should check it later though."

"Yeah alright, dude."

Surfsup landed next to a simple shopping plaza. Unbeknownst to him, this was the same area his minions had robbed earlier. Whatever cleanup crew existing in the game had already hauled away any destroyed cars and repaired any broken streets. Dylan and Surfsup walked into a pristine building, no sign a battle had ever taken place.

The two made their way around the plaza, purchasing the simpler materials needed for Dylan's inventions. He'd even found a bathtub in one of the department stores. All he needed now was the conveyor belt and shape-memory alloy. "You know where we could get shape-memory alloy?" He asked Surfsup, not expecting an answer.

"Nah, but we could ask the store guy. We're C rank now, we can find one of those Procurers."

"Oh yeah."

Dylan walked back up to the cashier at the counter, looking around suspiciously. He figured why not have some fun with it.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes," Dylan whispered. "I'm looking for some, rare materials."

"I can't help you with that sir. Though I believe my manager would be able to help." The woman called her manager to the counter, a burly man with tattoo sleeves.

"Hear you're looking for some special items."

Dylan checked to his left and right before nodding.

"Right. Well, I don't have any of that stuff here but my cousin runs a business down at the docks. Talk to him if you need anything… unique."

Dylan's map appeared in his vision with a marker set in the harbor district. "Right, I'll do that." Dylan shifted away from the conversation doing his best to look suspiciously unsuspicious.

"We can find someone over at the harbor district," said Dylan as he made his way back over to Surfsup.

"Awesome."

The two made their way out of the plaza and Surfsup hauled Dylan onto his board one more time. Before they could leave someone called to them. "Hey wait up!"

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