Vaudevillain

Dr. Zlo skated away from another blast of Heroic's halo and circled around behind a shelf. Heroic followed close behind, firing another halo as the hero rounded the corner. Dr. Zlo vaulted through an opening in the shelf back to the other side. He returned fire with a quick laser blast.

Heroic switched powers, gaining durability to tank the shot. The hero barreled through the sturdy shelves and clocked Dr. Zlo in the jaw. The villain reeled back from the force of the blow and landed on the line of frictionless gel. As he slid down the gel, Dr. Zlo switched over to the liquid fire in his cane.

Once stopped, Dr. Zlo took aim at the super and fired. "Let's see how you fare against my liquid fire!" He yelled. The red liquid covered both Heroic and the shelves, creating a small bonfire in the warehouse. Dr. Zlo stood as Heroic was surrounded by the flames. "It seems your might is no match for my intellect!"

Heroic shifted powers, bursting into flame and rising into the air. "Oh we'll see about that!" The hero grabbed a ball of Dr. Zlo's fire and lobbed it behind the villain, cutting off an escape route.

Seeing what he was trying to do, Dr. Zlo darted towards another line of shelves in an attempt to find a more open area. Heroic surged forward, a bonfire of revenge heading right at the villain. Dr. Zlo tried shooting his adhesive gel to trip up the hero but it was burned away to ash. Seeing as he couldn't stop the hero, Dr. Zlo switched to his smoke bomb in preparation.

But before he could fire the bomb Surfsup swooped in to save the day. He surfed by Dr. Zlo, grabbing him by the arm and hauling him onto his board. "Hey, dude you need some help?"

Heroic made to follow the two villains but Sweet Dream had followed her friend over and whipped a chocolate arm in the path of the hero. It bubbled and boiled over as Heroic came close but the hero was forced to twist out of the way. Sweet Dream followed up with another chocolate arm and Heroic received a face full of cocoa. As Sweet Dream's chocolate took affect Heroic switched powers and cleansed the debuff.

Surfsup looped back around behind the hero and opened fire. Dr. Zlo joined in with his own laser and Sweet Dream went to sweep the hero's leg. Heroic switched powers again and twisted at impossible angles, avoiding both the lasers and the leg sweep. He completed the dodge by rolling to the side and switching powers again to hit Sweet Dream.

Heroic's new power caused Sweet Dream's arm to freeze over as he struck it. The woman quickly snapped off the arm with her other hand and wielded it as a makeshift club. She brought it down in an arc over the hero's head. Heroic ducked under the strike and jabbed at Sweet Dream's torso. More chocolate froze over and Sweet Dream ejected out of her chocolate body.

"Coming at ya!"

Surfsup changed his course to swoop down and grab Sweet Dream. Heroic switched powers, blinking forward to catch the woman. Dr. Zlo fired off a round of adhesive, catching the hero's foot to the floor. Heroic struggled to break free while Surfsup picked up his friend.

Once all three were on the board Dr. Zlo switched to his smoke bomb spray and launched it. Grey smoke filled the room, masking the three villains. "To the truck," Dr. Zlo whispered. In a louder voice, he shouted. "Once again Spartana I have bested you in a battle of wits! Until we meet again!"

Surfsup flew out of the warehouse, his two friends sitting on the rocket board. When they reached the filled semi-truck Sweet Dream and Dr. Zlo jumped off to enter the front seats. "Come on!" Sweet Dream urged as Surfsup cut back around on his board.

"Nah dude you get in. I'm gonna surf us outta here!" Surfsup jumped off his board and landed on the top of the truck. He stowed his rocket board in his inventory and yelled. "Start the engine!"

Dr. Zlo fired up the semi-truck as Surfsup activated his power. Dr. Zlo shifted from park to drive jerked back as the truck shot forward. "Woohoo!" Surfsup yelled. The villain surfed the semi down the road and out into the city streets.

"That was pretty fun," Sweet Dream said. "Are all your fights like that?"

Dylan dropped out of his persona. "So far," he said.

"You need better equipment though. The laser's cool but it won't stop the tough heroes. And the cane has great utility but it lacks the punch you need for fights like this. You only won because Surf and I were there to help."

"I'm still trying to think up all the items I want Dr. Zlo to use regularly. Stuff like the gender bender gun is a one-off thing."

"Well, Surf and I can help you with the brainstorming. Which reminds me." Sweet Dream opened the truck window. "Hey Surf!"

"Yeah!"

"Where are you taking us!"

"I was thinking the beach!"

"He should stop surfing so we can blend in with the traffic. The heroes might chase or. Or we could get ganked."

"Superfan says you should stop so we don't get ganked by heroes!"

"Aw man! He sure?"

Sweet Dream turned back to Dylan. He nodded. "Had a couple of heroes attack me while I was chatting with a friend."

"Yeah he's sure!"

Sighing, Surfsup stopped using his power. Dylan took control of the semi and slowed it down enough for his new friend to get in. Once everyone was settled Dylan entered his base address in the self-drive function. The semi rolled forward, joining the rest of the traffic.

"So where we heading now?" Surfsup asked.

"Taking us to my secret base," Dylan replied.

"Sweet."

A few moments later the team received notifications for completing their robbery.

"Sweet, only one more success until C rank," Dylan said.

"Oh nice dude!"

Back at the warehouse Heroic had switched powers and broke free of the adhesive. He charged through the smoke, intending to find at least one of the villains. "Get back here f*cker!"

But Heroic hadn't been paying attention to the layout of the warehouse while fighting. He ended up running away from the warehouse loading dock and towards the office interior. The small amount of confusion meant that he lost the three villains. A bit later he received the notification for failing his quest.

"F*CK!!!" Heroic's anger boiled over into a mix of desperation and depression. All he wanted was to change his character back. Frustrated, Heroic sulked out of the warehouse and back to the hero's guild. His teammate met him somewhere along the way.

"Yo Hero. Oh, hey man you okay?"

"Shut up Ixzay."

"Oh you're not okay. You aren't ever swearing at me."

"Shut the f*ck up Ixzay."

Ixzay stepped in front of his friend. "Nah dude, I ain't about to let you sit and stew over all this. Get off the game and shut off your stream. We're taking a break."

"F*ck no I got people watching."

"Yeah, and none of them subscribed to you for this ridiculous sh*t. Now get off stream. Otherwise, I won't help you anymore."

"F*ck you man."

"Oh please, you wish you could f*ck some of this."

Despite himself, Heroic smiled. "Shut up."

"Get off stream."

"Ugh, fine."

Matt logged off World of Supers and closed out his stream. A few seconds later his friend Zach knocked on his dorm room door. "Come on," He said as Matt opened the door.

Zach brought Matt over to the local café across campus. Matt was silent the entire way over. At the café, Zach ordered both of them drinks and sat down in front of his friend. "Alright talk. You don't get this worked up."

"He's a fucking troll," Matt murmured.

"You've dealt with trolls. This isn't you."

"I don't want fucking want to talk about it."

Zach squinted his eyes. "You're losing subscribers you know."

Matt looked up. "What?"

"People don't join your stream to see babyrage idiot. They join because you find the fun exploits in the game. I mean, maybe some of them join to see you rage a bit but mostly its for the exploits."

"Well if they want to fucking leave they can."

Zach rolled his eyes. "Seriously, what's up with you and this Dr. Zlo guy? Is it because he found a better exploit than you or something? The gender-bending gun is a pretty disorienting weapon."

"Can you just drop it?"

"Fuck no. I'm not going to be one of those guy friends that lets you go through stuff alone. So why are you so mad?"

"I don't want to be a girl," Matt muttered.

"What?"

"I don't want to be a girl! I wanted to be an attractive guy for once."

"I don't follow."

"Zach I'm not exactly a fucking model. Do you see this face?" Matt waved his hand over his acne for emphasis.

"So you got a skincare problem --"

"And crappy glasses, and no muscles to speak of. And I'm pale."

Zach frowned. "Dude, you're not ugly."

Matt snorted. "Sure I'm not."

"Nah dude all you need is a bit of TLC."

"Did you really just say that."

"Damn straight I did. Besides, you don't have to keep playing Heroic. Just make a new character when the patch comes out. I hear Vert's releasing some data on how the game works. You can trawl through it all and we'll make you a new character."

Matt started into his drink.

"And… Once you make the new character that's totally broken we'll go back to that Dr. Zlo guy and mess with him a bit. Maybe show up at all his crimes to stop them."

"Fine," Matt muttered.

Zach stood and clapped his friend on the back. "Awesome, now let's go find you some acne cream. I can't have my friend walk around looking like a pepperoni pizza."

"Hey fuck you." Matt snarled.

"Shit dude sorry. Man, you've really got it bad. I won't make fun of your face anymore alright?"

Matt sighed. "Yeah. Sorry."

"Look at that he apologizes."

"Hey fuck you." This time Matt's voice was a little lighter. Somehow Zach always knew how to calm him down. Come patch day he'd take a look at all the changes, maybe see if he could grab some internal data, and make a new character that no one could stop. Then he'd come back to Dr. Zlo and mess with every single crime he committed.

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