Vaudevillain

"I definitely need a laser," Dylan said, looking at his new cane.

The cane resembled those from an older era. While Dr. Zlo's previous cane was some sort of smooth black material, this new one was solid wood. The item stood ramrod straight in Dylan's hands, almost unnaturally straight for an item that looked carved. The cane flared out at the top, the wood winding around a rainbow-hued jewel. At the bottom sat another gem, this one a clear-cut square.

Dylan ran his hands over the item in question, admiring the polished brown wood and its two jewels.

"You have a laser," Jack pointed out.

"I could get another laser," Dylan said with a swish of the cane.

"I thought you didn't like doubling up," Jack joked.

Dylan shrugged, "Rules are made to be broken." His eyes lit up, "I know!"

"What?" Jack asked.

Dylan turned to his friend, "Did you ever watch that old movie? The Extraordinaries? The one about a family of superheroes?"

"No way," Dylan answered. "This was one of the few original ideas. But it was an animated children's show. Anyway, the villain in that movie had these beams that froze people if they hit them. He called it zero-point energy or something. Maybe I could find a spell that does the same thing."

Jack thought about it, "Seems like a strong weapon. It completely freezes people?"

Dylan nodded, "At least in the movie. I'm sure Vert will have something similar that isn't as strong. Maybe it locks people down for a second or two."

"It sounds like that time stop spell in one of the older Xelda's," Jack added.

Dylan pointed his cane, "That's it! I bet the game has something like that!"

The player opened his menu and selected the cane, opening up the spell choice list. He quickly searched for time stop, stopping as he finished.

"Oh, there's a lot of time stop spells."

"How many?" Jack asked.

Dylan hovered a finger over the menu, listing them off as he read, "One that rewinds your personal time, one that creates a time-slowing field for a few seconds, one that–"

"Okay," Jack laughed. "I think I get the point. Did you find one that can stop a person?"

Dylan shook his head, "No dice. It seems that stopping time in general isn't listed."

Jack frowned, thinking, "What about freeze object? Or something similar?"

"I could try that," Dylan said, entering the words in as he spoke.

Another list of options filled the screen.

"Most are generic freeze spells," Dylan said. "Wait, here we go. Exactly like you said."

Casting this spell at a target will freeze it in place for a short amount of time. The player can continue the magic for longer for an exponentially increased mana cost.

"Does it say it works on players?" Jack asked.

Dylan shook his head, "No. But it doesn't say anything about it not working. If it doesn't work, I'll submit a bug report or something. Let them know they need to clarify the spell."

"I say go for it then," Jack said.

Dylan agreed, selecting the spell.

"Two more," he said.

"How about fireball?" Jack said with a smirk.

"Too wizardy, and you know it," Dylan replied. "Dr. Zlo would never stoop to the mundane feats of magic when he has science by his side!"

"Haha, okay," Jack answered. "But you should get something that does damage."

Dylan recalled his rival, Valiant. "What about a disintegration beam?"

"Ooh, that's classic," Jack answered. "Definitely find a disintegration beam."

Dylan searched through the list of spells, selecting it once he found it.

This spell sends a beam of corrosive energy at a target, removing it from existence via molecular destruction.

"Two down, one to go," Jack said.

"I've got utility and firepower," Dylan said. "What else should I get?"

"Buff or debuff," Jack said. "Probably a debuff since you have so much mobility."

"I could do some healing too," Dylan pointed out. "Keep me healthy throughout the fight."

Jack wobbled her head, "Ehh… I think you're in that grey area of health. The things that can't kill you won't do enough damage, and the things that can hurt do enough to remove you from the fight. I'd say stick with the debuff idea. Though, you could do something like a life drain? Though, that's only really worth it if you have another ability that uses HP. Otherwise, you won't get the full effect."

"Plus, life drain is one of those one-time things for my kind of villain," Dylan said.

Seeing Jack's look, he explained. "Most of the time, the older villain had an idea or scheme, like a power dampener, that they would use. But once the hero got around the problem, the villain would never use the item again, no matter how close they came to winning or how powerful they were."

"And life drain is one of those?" Jack asked.

"I think so anyway," Dylan answered. "unless you're a vampire."

"Alright. What about something that weakens powers?" Jack asked. "It would help with your firepower problem."

Dylan thought about it, "It would. Let's see if there's a spell for it."

The player searched through the spell list, trying to find something that weakened powers.

"I'm not finding anything about powers," The villain said.

"Look for weakness in general," Jack said, looking over his shoulder. "A lot of times weakness spells will make powers cost more."

Dylan took her advice. "Yep, it's the first spell here."

Casting this spell at a target increases the amount of work required to perform actions, whether those actions be mundane, magical, or super. Casting on the same target will not stack.

"Alright, three out of three," Dylan said.

The player selected the final spell and confirmed his selection. The gem set in the cane shone, the rainbow light dazzling the arena for a moment before coalescing into three colors: blue, static grey, and purple.

"That's an evil-looking cane," Jack whistled. "Kinda sickly looking, though."

"I like it," Dylan said. "It matched with the rest of my outfit. All I'd need to do is get a blue tie or something."

"Or a purple one," Jack said. "I feel like that would suit you better."

"Or purple," Dylan admitted. The player stretched a bit, swinging his arms back and forth. "What do you say we go test this new power out?"

"H*ll yeah," Jack cheered. "Time to put the beatdown on someone."

The two made their way toward the signup room for the arena.

It turned out the cane was stronger than either of them expected. Dylan and Jack had made their way into the signup area, heading over to the 2v2 matches. A robotic receptionist greeted the players, one of the many created NPCs for Skyline.

"Greetings, and welcome to the PVP arena," the robot started. "I am Sky-sixteen. How may I be of assistance?"

Dylan assumed the role of Dr. Zlo, "We're here, Sky-Sixteen, to show up a few greenhorn supers. My colleague and I have invented a new weapon, and we must show the world its greatness!"

Jack smiled a bit at Dr. Zlo's performance. Dylan had only grown more animated with the villain over time, adding various gestures at the end of sentences and sneering whenever it felt appropriate.

"Very good, sir," Sky-Sixteen answered. The robot spun in place, producing a touchscreen pad, "Please sign your names here, and we shall match you with someone at our earliest convenience."

The two players signed their names on the touchscreen.

"Thank you. Your number is 17. Please enter the doors to my left once it is called."

Dylan and Jack nodded, then went to wait near the series of chairs, discussing their tabletop campaign until their number was called. They made their way to the doors, continuing their chat until they exited into the stadium.

A computerized voice announced the two's player names once they walked in, followed up by the other two players. Both sides met in the middle of the arena, stopping before a robotic referee.

"A quick explanation of rules," the referee started. "Players should not attempt to use the surrounding arena as a weapon, nor should they call for assistance from the outside. Doing so will result in penalties applied to your Menagerie registration. Understood?"

Both sides nodded.

"Other than that," The referee continued, "anything goes. Combat stops when one side is no longer able to fight, either by incapacitation or death."

"I don't know anyone who won by incapacitation," the player opposite Dr. Zlo sniffed.

"Indeed," Dr. Zlo answered with a wave of his hand. "Much better to eliminate any competition before it can rise up and crush you. Yet, despite all my attempts, the same heroes keep coming back. Do you think they clone them? Or maybe it's all one person with a duplication power."

"It could be a time rewind," Jack added. "Someone rewinds their personal time before they die, stopping it from happening."

Dr. Zlo brought a hand to his chin, "Hmm, perhaps. But today, we aren't here to discuss such topics! Today, we shall test my newest invention in combat and show the world our superior intellect!"

"You know," one of the other players said. "I never realized how over the top Dr. Zlo was in person."

"What did you expect?" the other said. "You've seen all his videos."

"Yeah, I figured it was a persona."

"It could still be a persona," Jack said.

"Enough talk!" Dr. Zlo shouted. "Robot! When do we start?"

The robot referee counted off with his fingers, "The fight starts in three… two… one… go!"

Dr. Zlo activated his rocket boots, flying into the air and gaining distance. Jack tapped her collarbone three times, activating a mech suit she'd made for this purpose. The other two players reacted, the first stepping forward to create a dome around them while the second knelt on the ground.

"Curious," Dr. Zlo said as he watched the spectacle. "But that shield will be no match for me!"

Dr. Zlo thrust his cane, then remembered that he needed to perform a series of motions before casting the spell.

"One second," the villain said, holding up a finger. "Confound the controls on this device."

"Oh, we've got all the time in the world," the player with the shield said. "Once Kaiju finishes his transformation, you won't stand a chance."

Jack gasped, "Now this I want to see! Dr. Zlo! Let him finish?"

"Why should I?" the villain said offhandedly. Dylan was still poring over the motions for his new abilities.

"I'm curious to see how good my mech suit is against something like a kaiju!" Jack said. "Plus, I've never fought one before!"

"Fine," Dr. Zlo answered. "It's not like some paltry transformation will matter."

"I'd be careful about what you call paltry," the shield player said. "Kaiju's a force to be reckoned with."

At those words, Kaiju finished charging, transforming in a bright glow. Dr. Zlo and Jack watched as the player increased in size, growing claws and scaly skin. A thick tail formed at the villain's rear, slapping the ground hard enough to cave it inward. It all finished with a set of serrated teeth pointing out of the player's mouth, dripping a caustic drool that burned the PVP arena's floor.

"Still don't regret waiting?" the shield player said.

"I never regret anything," Dr. Zlo said. "After all, how can I regret perfection!"

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