Vaudevillain

Matt couldn't believe what just happened. Dr. Zlo just won. Because his minions jumped him on a tandem bicycle! The idea was so ludicrous that Matt still couldn't wrap his mind around it.

His stream couldn't believe it either. Chat messages raced across Valiant's vision, the hero having turned it on now that the race was over. Sentences of disbelief and exclamation scrolled across Matt's vision, the watchers up in arms at the insanity that transpired.

Matt wasn't even sure if he should be upset about Dr. Zlo's win. He doubted the player planned for his minions to disrupt everything at the last moment. No one had that kind of foresight. However, Matt was losing out on a lot of upgrade materials. Materials he could use for the Trollstompers. Ten grams of Phlebotinum was nothing to sneeze at.

At least he came in second, getting three grams. While Valiant couldn't upgrade his powers, Trollstompers crafters could make the hero a few special items. Or perhaps Matt should use the material to upgrade his base defenses. After all, with the new expansion came new enemies needing new countermeasures.

Whatever the case, now wasn't the time to think about it. Matt needed to talk to his stream.

"What a f*cking race. Am I right, chat?"

Agreements scrolled down Matt's display. Most of them simple emotes of Valiant's character. Matt had commissioned an artist a few days ago to make some stylized emotes for the stream. It looked like it was paying off.

"Did you all enjoy the bird's eye view?" The man asked.

Knowing that a first-person viewpoint made for bad watching, Matt had tried to think how his subscribers could view the race from a different perspective. At the moment, Vert had nothing in the way of streaming tools, something Matt wanted the company to fix in the future. Who knows how many subscribers he lost because of how annoying it was to watch in first-person.

The workaround he came up with was simple enough, get someone to stream from a third perspective. Sure it meant a bit of extra cash to get Ixzay to agree, but Matt figured it would be nothing compared to the additional subscribers. Plus, Ixzay was as much a part of the stream now; it made sense to compensate him. It already looked like it would pay off. The stream was filled with comments about how much better the race was in third-person.

Ixzay's new character hovered beside Valiant, slowly panning to reveal Dr. Zlo behind him. It was a simple power –the ability to control a drone would never be complex– but it fit Matt's needs perfectly. With this, his stream could watch everything from a spectator's viewpoint.

"Well, I guess I better go 'congratulate' Dr. Zlo," Matt said.

The streamer put on his best disgruntled face and stomped over to the villain, ready to start up some drama.

"You cheater!" The hero yelled, pushing through the crowd of players. "Don't think I'll let you get away with this!"

Dr. Zlo whipped around, his eyebrow raised in exaggerated surprise, "Cheating? Me?"

The villain placed a hand over his heart, "Why, I'm hurt that you would accuse me of such things."

Valiant pointed a finger, "Don't you play with me. I know those traps were all your design."

Dr. Zlo had the gall to look confused, but Matt saw the slight smile poking out from under the man's mustache. The villain was enjoying this.

"The only thing I've designed is the greatest car known to man!" Dr. Zlo cackled, placing a loving hand on his Zlomobile.

Valiant stepped forward, prodding Dr. Zlo on the chest with his pointing finger, "And the oil spill?"

Dr. Zlo waved a hand, "It's not my fault if a tanker truck breaks at an inopportune moment."

"What about your minions?" Valiant prodded.

Dr. Zlo chuckled, "You can't blame me for having eager helpers, can you?"

The crowd around Dr. Zlo murmured agreement.

"Then what about the minions with the sign?" Valiant continued. "Did your minions think you'd get lost?"

Dr. Zlo narrowed his eyes. Valiant smirked. He was learning how to push this player's buttons. Or at least the perceived ones.

"I believe I told you they were eager, yes? And while I despise the thought that my Jacques would think I'd get lost, they are dreadfully simple. Some of them can't even make it out of a room on their own."

"Smooth words," Valiant said.

"I am nothing if not eloquent," Dr. Zlo bowed.

Valiant squinted. The crowd was still on Dr. Zlo's side, which was always going to be the case. After all, most of Menagerie was around to watch the man's antics. But Valiant still had one last card to play. "And the interfering racers?"

Dr. Zlo waved another hand, "Overeager people wanting in on the action. I assure you I have nothing to do with them. Besides, you saw how they attacked me. Why would I orchestrate something like that?"

The hero leaned in close, his face inches from Dr. Zlo's. "To throw us off the scent," Valiant whispered. "I've got my eye on you."

The villain smirked. "Face it, Valiant," Dr. Zlo whispered back. "You can't prove anything."

"Oh really?" Valiant asked. "Then what about… Him!"

The hero thrust his finger towards the finish line. Everyone turned to see a battered Quartet walking past, soot covering the minion's body.

"What about him?" Dr. Zlo asked.

"Is he not yours?" Valiant pushed.

"I've never seen him before in my life!" Dr. Zlo boomed. His face turned sour, "Why, I'm insulted you would even put us together in your mind! The nerve!"

Dr. Zlo glared over at Quartet, the minion halting in his tracks at the look.

"It seems he's a bit afraid of you," Valiant commented.

Dr. Zlo's mouth turned upward in a wicked smile, "As he should. I don't take kindly to interlopers."

"You want me to deal with him?" Valiant asked, aiming his palm.

"No need," Dr. Zlo answered. "I'll deal with him, personally."

The villain snapped his fingers, a few Jacques springing to attention in the crowd. "Go get our, new friend," Dr. Zlo pointed. "And don't worry. You don't have to be nice about it."

The Jacques shoulders hunched, and if they had mouths, they would be smiling the smuggest smiles Dr. Zlo ever saw.

John couldn't believe it! Dylan still won! Won with a ten-gram Phlebotinium prize!

"This is going to make everything so much f*cking harder," the player breathed.

Dylan must've expected something like this, John thought. It looked like his old friend had a more devious mind than expected. Maybe some of John's teachings had rubbed off on the man. Regular Dylan wouldn't ever think up countermeasures like that. John felt a bit of pride at the thought.

That didn't mean John was going to stop. Not even close. Dylan's countermeasure had been silly and wouldn't have worked if someone else was racing. Someone like John, for instance. The man knew he'd never get caught off-guard by a tandem bicycle—anyone who did needed more training. That Valiant hero had to work on keeping an eye out.

John would have to be more careful now. With all that extra Phlebotinium, Dylan could upgrade his powers like crazy. Meaning John would need to get some upgrades himself.

"What a race! Right Jus?" Someone said to John's left.

John turned to see Sparkticus, the player who brought him into Menagerie. Right now, John was going by the name Justic, a combination of justice and magic. Sparkticus seemed to like the name, probably because his own was an annoying mishmash.

"It was certainly intense, Spark," John answered.

"Did you get a good look at the finish when you went forward?" Sparkticus asked. "You see what caused Dr. Zlo to spin out?"

"I think he hit a rock," John answered. "I didn't get a good look. Was too busy watching the three-way battle going on."

"I hear ya!" Sparkticus answered, clapping John on the back. "I was on the edge of my seat."

John frowned. He didn't like this guy acting so friendly, but he needed to let it happen to avoid suspicion. John would pretend to be amiable and climb up the ranks for a bit, getting into a position to sabotage everything. Dylan wouldn't know what hit him, and John would prove once again that Dylan needed someone of his caliber. Someone had to think up all the devious traps. Then, the two of them could work on getting Vert's attention.

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