Vaudevillain

Searching homing device was utterly useless.

A device crafted by the brilliant Dr. Zlo to home in on a selected target.

Dollhouse (1)

Dylan closed the tab as soon as he saw the dollhouse requirement. He didn't carry a dollhouse with him, and once again, Dylan found himself disgruntled with his power's limitations. He decided right then to upgrade his capabilities once he got the chance. Dr. Zlo couldn't get caught unprepared like this, not if Dylan wanted his avatar to always be prepared.

"Fine, let's see what I've got," Dr. Zlo muttered.

Dr. Zlo always had his monocle and cane, the latter of which held his various liquids and gels. Though Quartet could probably deal with both items. A few button bombs could work, but they had the same issue as his self-destruct patches. If Quartet was paying attention, he could send them straight back to the Zlomobile.

Frustrated, Dylan rubbed the brim of his top hat, "If only I had a distraction…."

"Um, boss," Cass said. "Can't you use your hat?"

"What?" Dr. Zlo snapped.

Dr. Zlo blinked, "I didn't forget. I was just testing you."

"I understand, boss," Cass answered, keeping his eyes on the road ahead.

Dr. Zlo activated his hat drone, letting the small robot float off his head like a dandelion seed. Dylan couldn't believe he forgot about the drone again, this being the third or fourth time at least. Somehow the small drone kept leaving the player's thoughts despite its usefulness in situations like these.

"I'm going to have to upgrade you to something more substantial, aren't I?" the man said as the drone hovered beside him.

"What's that, boss?" Cass asked.

"Nothing," Dr. Zlo answered. "Just deciding what torture to give Quartet after this. How dare my minion ruin my plans!"

"I never liked him, boss," Cass replied. "He was always trying to get ahead of everyone."

"Well, I'm sure he won't try it again after I'm done with him."

Dr. Zlo turned back to his hatbot, "Now, what to leave with you. I've used you before with the self-destruct patches, but maybe securing my button bombs and letting you strafe like a bomber is a better option.”

The little bot turned in place at Dr. Zlo's command, all its functions on display for the villain. "No," Dr. Zlo said to the drone. "I'm only getting one surprise shot at Quartet. He won't let you fly around once he sees you."

The villain took out one of his self-destruct patches and stuck it onto his hatbot. From there, Dr. Zlo opened his inventory and procured another hat. Quartet would notice if Dr. Zlo didn't have a top hat, and the villain couldn't have his traitorous minion getting suspicious. The method of Quartet's destruction secured, Dr. Zlo turned to the distraction.

He would need a way for the hatbot to slip out of the Zlomobile without Quartet noticing. Dr. Zlo looked out the car's window; the upcoming turn should do it. The Zlomobile would be out of sight for a second, giving Dr. Zlo time to release the hatbot. From there, he could distract Quartet, giving the hatbot time to explode.

Plan made, Dr. Zlo opened the Zlomobile window and waited for his moment.

Quartet cackled as he launched another sound attack at the Zlomobile. The attack bounced harmlessly off the shield Dr. Zlo had up, but it was only a matter of time. The pompous buffoon had used all his Jacques and was now wide open. All Quartet had to do was sit behind Dr. Zlo and whittle down his shield. Then, finally, Quartet could take over the organization!

The minion still couldn't quite believe that Dr. Zlo let him oversee a bunch of rambunctious villains without a smidge of supervision. It was like he was asking for Quartet to betray him! Well, Quartet would happily oblige. It hadn't even cost him all that much, just a promise of power after destroying Dr. Zlo.

Something nagged at Quartet, however. A strange feeling that he was making a wrong decision somehow. Quartet pushed the thought away. This was what he was made for, after all. Dr. Zlo made him to rule over others, so Quartet would rule, and Dr. Zlo wouldn't get in his way.

A sugary cloud interrupted the minion's inner monologue. Whipping one of his heads around, Quartet saw Sweet Dream and Riptide catching up, the two attacking everything around them. Whirlwinds, jawbreakers, and sugar bombs flew across the streets, forcing Quartet to react. The minion used his power to deflect anything coming his way.

"Stop interfering," the minion growled, too low for any racer to hear.

Annoyed, Quartet started whipping Sweet Dream's sugar bombs back at her, attracting the warring player's attentions. The battle devolved into a three-way fight. Riptide would surf around, skirting over Quartet's sound blasts as if they were calm waves. G.W. retaliated with whirlwinds, the miniature tornados catching B.B.'s sugar grenades and flinging them every direction. Molten sugar exploded in all directions, covering the sidelong buildings in a sticky mess.

"Dr. Zlo is going to get away," Quartet complained.

Suddenly, the minion realized that feeling nagging at him. It was doubt. Doubt that Quartet would fail and Dr. Zlo would succeed. What horrors would the villain force on him if he caught him after this attempted coup? Would he be forced to serve Mabel? Or worse, Brunhilde? Would Dr. Zlo use him in some insane experiment?

Quartet shook his heads. No. He couldn't have these thoughts. He was built to succeed! That meant he was better than Dr. Zlo! This plan would eliminate the competition and secure Quartet's place as overlord!

The traitor continued to hype himself up, engaging more and more with the racers behind them as the fights grew in intensity. Sweet Dream's Jawbreaker flails were swinging at both Quartet and Riptide, the two deflecting them back and forth with whirlwinds and sound blasts. Riptide kept attempting to surf past Quartet, only for the minion's other bodies to stop him with stolen sugar bombs. With Quartet distracted, Sweet Dream crept closer, attempting to bring the Candy Crusher close enough for her to use her power.

Quartet's fourth body noticed this and pounded on the roof of the truck, "Someone's trying to get close! Watch out!"

"Then keep them off us!" Fleshgrabber yelled.

"I'm trying!" Quartet yelled back. "You try splitting your focus four ways! It's not that easy!"

Fleshgrabber urged the truck to move faster, pressing the gas pedal down as far as it would go. Quartet's truck jumped forward, moving closer to the Zlomobile and outpacing Sweet Dream and Riptide, if only for a moment. An expertly lobbed grenade from B.B. forced Fleshgrabber to swerve out of the way. The explosion rocked the side of the truck, shaking Quartet and slowing the vehicle. Angry, Quartet slammed his fist onto the hood.

"Learn how to drive!"

"Shut up and get ready!" Fleshgrabber yelled back. "There's a corner coming up!"

Before Quartet could grumble, he caught a glimpse of another car behind him. That hero, Valiant, had caught up to them.

"I can't believe I fell for Dr. Zlo's stupid trick!" Valiant complained.

Of course, Matt felt confident no one would have figured Dr. Zlo was making a double bluff. The guy was all about old cartoon villainy. How was Matt supposed to know that his rival would go off-book.

Luckily he caught Dr. Zlo swerving down the other street out of his rearview mirror, grateful that he convinced Ixzay to keep them on the car. Braking hard, Valiant turned his vehicle around and chased after Dr. Zlo. The other racer in front of him did the same.

Matt turned back onto the road just in time to see all the chaos unfolding. The apocalypse racers, or whoever they were, had made their way around and were again harassing all the racers. Dr. Zlo's friends and helpers were caught in the thick of the chaos, smashing attackers left and right while fighting off all comers.

"I guess it's my lucky day," Matt commented. "I was f*cking sure I'd never catch up."

Readying his power, Valiant stepped on the gas, taking the turns as tight as he dared while weaving through the chaos. He kept his shield up whenever he could, absorbing the various bullets flying around while slowly catching up. As he came out of the turn, Valiant found himself in the thick of the pack.

Groups of disheveled players swarmed around him, growling and taunting like extras in a bad movie. Matt scoffed, his lip curling. These idiots knew nothing about insults. A true insult cut to the heart, demoralizing the enemy as soon as it left lips.

"I don't have time to deal with two-bit losers," the streamer muttered. A quick application of power took out a racer's wheel, swerving the vehicle into another and causing a chain reaction. The road ahead was open now, a straightaway that would bring Valiant to the front of the pack.

Slamming his foot on the pedal, Matt accelerated his car, catching up with Riptide and Sweet Dream. The two were locked in battle behind Quartet, the minion's four bodies fighting all comers. A vehicle of Jacques swerved between the group, doing its best to assault Quartet. Ahead of them all raced Dr. Zlo, his Zlomobile seemingly oblivious to the chaos behind him.

Valiant pulled up alongside Sweet Dream's Candy Crusher, swerving away at the last second to avoid the jawbreaker flails swinging wildly from the back. An attack from Quartet followed, a piercing arrow of sound Valiant absorbed with his shield. The hero retaliated with a blast from his disintegration beam, striking a Licor-Ick as it crawled across the Candy Crusher.

"Dudes!" Valiant heard Riptide yell. "This race is awesome!"

"Shut up and drive!" Sweet Dream yelled back.

Matt shook his head, amateurs. "Talk is cheap!" he shouted as he accelerated.

"Oh, you f*cker!" Sweet Dream yelled. "You aren't getting ahead of me!"

Sweet Dream rushed to follow, the two racers inching closer to Quartet. Two of the minion's bodies turned their full focus on the racers, attacking with blasts of sound. Valiant easily countered the assault, his shield taking in every strike aimed at him. Sweet Dream didn't have that luxury, instead using her power to lob chocolate balls in the way of attacks. Cocoa splattered across the driveway as sound and chocolate met.

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