Vaudevillain

G.W. straightened his ascot and growled, "We're running out of time, boss."

"No problem, dude!" Riptide replied to his new minion. "We'll make it to the docks in plenty of time."

"Whatever you say, dude," G.W. replied haughtily.

Riptide snorted. This new minion was a riot! He'd have to thank Dr. Zlo again for making the tornado shark.

G.W. moved in front of Riptide, lounging on a current of air created by its power. Its shark head, modeled after the titular great white, scanned the area with the practiced ease of a predator. Periodically, the minion would sniff the air, checking for signs of others. If it looked like G.W. caught a trace of an enemy, its whole body would swivel and undulate, as if it was swimming towards it.

It was something Riptide noticed; his new minion wouldn't keep still. Some part of G.W. was always in motion. Whether it was the minion's finned hands adjusting its ascot or the prehensile tail batting air, G.W. made sure to keep a body part moving. It made Riptide want to mess with the posh minion. That and G.W.'s attire.

The minion's body resembled a human's but had the added bonus of the shark head and tail at the rear. As such, the minion wore clothes similar to that of a rich man on a yacht. A slightly salt-worn white coat covered G.W.'s torso, and a red ascot rested under the collar. Matching white pants and brown loafers filled out the rest of the outfit, along with a captain's hat on top of the minion's head.

"Look, dudes! Our target is up ahead!"

Riptide pointed to a building resting near the coast. Jaws and G.W. took a look at the small storefront nestled between two bricked buildings. Sea-green paint covered the building's outer walls, making it pop in contrast to the surrounding buildings. The sign, "Raul's Surf Shop," in flowing letters jutted out from the walls.

"God, the things I put up with," G.W. complained.

Jaws growled.

"No, I will not relax," G.W. shot back. "I'm the king of the ocean. Kings do not relax."

Jaws growled again, the shark's teeth clacking together in its wide mouth.

Riptide idly wondered why the two were so different. Both were made with a shark base. Maybe it was the jellyfish added into Jaws? Those buggers never did anything but relax. Oh well, he could ask Dr. Zlo about it later. Right now, he had a shop to wreck.

"Let's go!" the surfer cheered.

Riptide pulled his surfboard out and jumped on, feeling the smooth wood on his bare feet. He slammed a foot down on the back pedal, igniting the rockets and launching himself into the shop. Jaws and G.W. ran behind, too slow to catch up immediately.

Riptide crashed through the glass doors of the shop, yelling, "Heere's Johnny!" as he did. His outburst and crash startled the shopkeeper on duty, causing the woman to duck behind the counter. G.W. swiped its tail, creating a gust of wind that tossed the broken shards of glass safely to the side. Jaws ran in, shark maw wide open and growling.

"Give us all your valuables, dude!" Riptide shouted at the cashier.

The woman held her hands up, shakily, "I-I don't want any trouble! We only carry one hundred dollars at any one time!"

"What? Lame!" Riptide said.

"I told you we shouldn't have wasted our time," G.W. said.

Riptide shrugged, "Whatever. Let's take what we can and leave a few clues behind."

"Won't that make it easier for the heroes to find us?" G.W. asked.

"Yeah, dude. I want to fight some guys! Maybe I can surf on their abilities!"

G.W. shook its head, but the smirk on its face was unmistakeable, "Spoken like a true king. Very well, lead the way."

"Right, dude." Riptide looked back at the cashier, "Give me everything you got!"

The woman nodded, her hands stumbling as she opened the till and handed wads of bills to the villainous surfer. Once the last bill entered Riptide's hand, he smiled.

"Alright, dudes! Let's wreck this joint!"

Jaws and G.W. growled and went to work. Punches flew out from Jaws, cracking surfboards in two with one strike. G.W. followed up with gusts of wind that tossed swimsuits and shirts off their racks. Riptide flew around it all, firing lasers into the various souvenirs and sometimes grabbing one or two for himself. In around a minute, the ruined remains of the shack's goods littered the floor.

"Time for the finishing touch," Riptide said. "Come, surf rats!"

Out of the woodwork spilled Dr. Zlo's mice. Dr. Zlo had lent the white rodents to Riptide just this once, to use as a swarm minion. The cashier screamed as the swarm appeared and fainted right on the spot. The mice ignored her, instead running up the walls with small bottles of paint.

In a choreographed sequence resembling a ballet, the mice painted a picture of a cruise ship onto the walls.

"Right on, dudes!" Riptide said. "That looks exactly like what we're stealing!"

The mice twisted their little paws into something akin to a thumbs-up.

"H*ll yeah!" Riptide cheered and flew out of the building. "Come on! There's a pet shop a bit of the way in. I want to see if they have some turtles. Maybe I can get a few to ride on my board!"

Laughing, Riptide flew away, his minions running behind to keep up. Dr. Zlo's mice crawled back into the floorboards, heading down into the lower regions of the city where they could stay out of sight. As they entered their carved-out tunnels, two mice squeaked at the running swarm. The swarm chittered back, relaying their information.

Once the swarm finished their report, the mouse on the right turned its back to the one on the left. A compact smartphone rested on top of the mouse, and the other wasted no time typing out a message.

Up in the Zloppelin, Dr. Zlo sat in the high-backed chair with his hands resting on his cane. Cass stood to the side, his silver drink tray loaded with a variety of cocktails.

"I never expected this part to be so... boring," Dr. Zlo said.

"Why's that, hon?" Mabel asked. The woman sat on a small chair to the side, acting like a rich old lady. Suitor stood next to her, dressed in a servant's uniform and standing ramrod straight.

"Normally, this part of the process gets skipped in the stories," Dr. Zlo replied.

"What part?"

"The part where the villain waits for the heroes to arrive. I never expected it to be so empty."

"Don't worry, boss. I'm sure someone will show up soon. And in the meantime, we can have a few drinks." Cass offered the plate to Dr. Zlo, who idly grabbed a mug and took a sip.

He hacked up the drink a second later, "Good gods Cass! What is this?"

"Straight whiskey, boss. I've been told it calms nerves."

"Well, with a taste like that, it better," Dr. Zlo replied.

The villain felt a tug at his pant sleeve. Einstein the mouse stood below him, a phone on his back.

"What is it?" Dr. Zlo asked.

Status report, my lord. The mouse typed.

"Oh good! Let's hear it."

Riptide broke into a small surf shop, destroyed it all, and left a picture of the cruise ship he was tasked with stealing.

"That does sound like our resident surfer," Dr. Zlo replied. "Where's he off to now?"

Riptide is currently taking both G.W. and Jaws to a pet shop in the hopes of finding some turtles.

"Hmm. Well, let's hope Riptide doesn't lose sight of the goal. We need that cruise ship if we want to speed up the destruction of Cartis."

Should I inform the surfer, my lord?

"No, it's alright. After all, it's not like the heroes will be able to stop us!"

Dr. Zlo cackled maniacally, throwing his hands into the air. He stopped a few seconds later.

"Something's missing," he said.

"What's that, boss?" Cass asked.

"I need ambiance!" the villain cried out. "What good is an evil laugh if there isn't lightning to follow it! Cass, we need to create an ambiance machine!"

"But boss, we're in the middle of our scheme."

"Obviously, we won't make it now. But I need you to start making a list. If we're going to be properly villainous, I need to act the part."

"You should get some explosives too, hon," Mabel added. "It isn't proper if you don't have anything to explode."

"You're right, Mabel!" Dr. Zlo replied. "Cass! Add it to the list."

"You got it, boss," the butler replied.

"Now," Dr. Zlo said, looking back down at the rodent. "Is there anything else to report?"

The heroes and villains in Cartis are still in the early stages. Fights are breaking out around the gathering place, and only a few have made their way out of the scuffle.

"Excellent," Dr. Zlo replied. "Keep monitoring the situation and report back if anything happens."

Yes, my lord. Einstein bowed his head low and scurried away.

Dylan started to hum. Things were going exactly as he wanted them to go. He was acting like a proper villain, even going as far as to belittle the heroes while no one was around. He couldn't wait for the tables to turn.

Riptide, Sweet Dream, and Shizuka would either succeed or fail, but Dylan was sure at least one wouldn't be able to hold the heroes at bay. The bomb would deactivate, and Dr. Zlo would have to appear in person, flying in on his Zloppelin and playing, and playing. …what would he play? It had to be something sufficiently villainous, but nothing was coming to mind.

"Cass, I've encountered a very problematic problem," Dr. Zlo said.

"Oh no! What's wrong, boss?"

"We don't have appropriate music!"

Merla flew through the streets of Cartis with her hero group in tow. Starting the event had been the most nervewracking experience she'd ever had, but the resulting free-for-all put her back in the right mind frame. She went to work rounding up the few heroes smart enough to avoid the initial fight. The three players ran, flew, or rocketed behind her.

"Where are we heading?" one of the players asked.

"Riptide has the power to surf anything," Merla started.

"What does that have to do with it?" the player asked.

Merla shot a look back at the hero, "I'm getting there."

She glared at the player flying behind her. He was dressed in bright yellow colors and riding on a glowing disk of energy. "It's important because Riptide loves to use his powers on anything and everything. And themes himself around surfing as well. Therefore, we're going to head to the coast and search for places of destruction."

"Doesn't sound like much of a plan," the hero complained.

Merla ground to a halt and flipped around in the air. "Look," she started. "When I asked you all what your powers were earlier, none of you listed anything that might even remotely be a search power. So unless any of you hid an aspect of your abilities, the best bet we have is to search and slowly catch up."

"I followed you because I thought you had a better plan than that," the player said.

"If you don't like it, leave," Merla shot back. "In fact, leave now. I don't want to work with someone who complains and doesn't bring up another idea."

"Fine," the player complained. He shot off into the sky on his disk.

"Anyone else have a problem?" Merla asked, turning to the two remaining players.

Both shook their heads.

"Awesome. Now come on, we have to catch up."

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