Twin Heroes

Chapter 65

When Wei Ma Yi heard that Xiao Yu’er wanted him to fart, he thought to himself, this sounds logical. It must be known that for one with great internal energy, he can control the pulse in his own body with ease, so letting out a fart is nothing difficult at all. Su Ying has already covered her nose and turned around, her shoulders shaking, as if she’s trying to control her laughter.

Xiao Yu’er said with a straight face, “This fart must be released after you remove your pants.”

Wei Ma Yi stammered, “Remove… remove…” His face is red from blushing, and he can’t even complete his words.

Xiao Yu’er added, “This step is called removing the pants to let out a fart, a good fart.”

It must be known that he is not a fool, he can even be considered sly and devious, it’s just that he was too anxious to master Shifting Flower Grafting Jade, that he seemed to have lost his senses. As the saying goes, ‘with the arrival of benefits, out goes logic’, that’s why Xiao Yu’er had a chance.

By now Wei Ma Yi thought that something is not right, and he flipped over and fumed, “This… what kind of martial arts is this really?”

Still with a straight face, Xiao Yu’er answered, “This martial arts is called ‘A Fool letting out Farts’, this is a lot more formidable than Shifting Flower Grafting Jade.”

Wei Ma Yi clenched his fists, his whole body shaking, almost dying from anger. Su Ying could not take it any longer and burst out into laughter.

Only now did Xiao Yu’er laugh and say, “Fool, do you think if I really know Shifting Flower Grafting Jade, I would still be tied on this tree by you? You tricked me, so if I do not trick you as well, I’ll be letting you down.”

Su Ying giggled, “But you… you’re too much in doing that.”

Xiao Yu’er laughed, “Those who want to take advantage of me, are bound to take some losses.”

Wei Ma Yi roared, “You want to trick me, then I shall have your life!” As he roared, he leapt over.

However, Xiao Yu’er shouted instead, “Heaven and Earth, Heavenly soldiers, big and small ghosts, if you don’t come and save me, I am going to curse.”

“A person like you, even ghosts would not save you.” Wei Ma Yi’s finger is already aiming towards Xiao Yu’er’s mute acupoint.

Right at this time, someone suddenly said eerily from the darkness, “You’re not a ghost, how would you know that ghosts would not save him?”

This voice sounded flighty and dispersed, with no sense of life at all, it does not sound like it came from a living being. And when the voice was emitted, it seemed to be coming from the west, but at the end of the sentence, it has already moved to the east.

In the deserted woods at night, to suddenly hear a voice like that, really makes one turn cold.

In the darkness, at the top of the tree, there really was a grayish shadow, his hempen clothes fluttering in the wind, looking extremely eerie, not like a living person at all.

Wei Ma Yi is after all not a mediocre person, so when he saw the other party’s outline, he was able to hold his temper and walk over slowly. He said coldly, “Since you wish to become a ghost, I will grant you your wish!”

As he spoke, a rain of silver needles shot towards the treetop.

From the bottom to the top, it’s not easy to exert enough strength, but the wrist power of Wei Ma Yi is really remarkable. The speed of those silver needles is in fact faster than the speed of a shooting arrow.

The person on the treetop screamed and dropped down like falling leaves. Wei Ma Yi laughed coldly, “Let’s see if you can still pretend to be a ghost.”

Before he can finish his words, someone laughed, “Dying the first time will become a ghost, dying two times will still become a ghost, look over here again.”

Wei Ma Yi turned around in alarm, that grayish shadow is suddenly at the treetop ten over foot away to the left, a pair of grayish eyes staring at Wei Ma Yi in cold laughter.

No matter how highly skilled or bold Wei Ma Yi is, right now his limbs can’t help but feel cold. Right at this time, someone suddenly laughed behind him, “Such a big man, and frightened by ghosts?”

Wei Ma Yi suddenly flipped over, and saw a beaming round faced monk, swaggering over. Wei Ma Yi puffed himself up and said fiercely, “Are you a ghost then?”

That monk laughed, “Monk is not a ghost, Monk is a ghost-catching monk.”

Wei Ma Yi smiled icily, “Since that is the case, then Monk can go and catch that ghost.”

The Monk replied, “That is not a ghost…. Haha, the ghost is not there.” That monk suddenly pointed at the dark woods at the side. Wei Ma Yi can’t help but look towards where his finger was pointing, and saw that suddenly there was someone sitting in the darkness, in his hands holding something alive and munching it with relish.

Wei Ma Yi looked around, his heart strategizing on how to deal with his enemies, on how he can defeat the opposing parties at one go, his mouth instead smiling and asking, “How can ghosts be as delicious as this?”

That monk said, “Haha, he does not believe… why don’t you let him take a look.”

That person in the woods chuckled, and threw the thing in his hands towards Wei Ma Yi and Wei ma Yi instinctively reached out to grab it. He only felt that the thing was soft and tender, and on closer look, realized it’s half an arm, with obvious teeth marks on it, and it has been cooked as well.

Only now was Wei Ma Yi truly startled, and felt half his body go numb. He hurriedly threw this half-eaten human arm far away. That person in the woods reached out to grab it and grinned, “The people here all have a stinking rat smell, and cannot be eaten. I had a hard time finding an edible human, and through my frugality was able to make it last for three days. Now there’s only half an arm left, won’t it be a waste for you to throw it away?” As he spoke, he chewed voraciously again, with cracking sounds as he chomped.

Wei Ma Yi can’t help but puked, and unconsciously retreated, asking hoarsely, “Who… who are you people actually? What do you want?”

Suddenly another person said icily, “There’s only one person here, if you have anything to say, you can tell it to me!”

Amidst the talk, a person walked over with large steps. That person was tall and skinny, with clothes white as snow, sleeves so long it touched the ground, his pale face so cold that it’s like ice. He’s really uglier than a ghost. Wei Ma Yi exclaimed fiercely, “Fine, even if you’re human, I will make you into a ghost!”

The speed of his attack is really as quick as lightning, and as he spoke he had already struck out.

His five fingers were filled with internal energy, and even an iron rock, if grabbed by him, will be crushed. However, that man in white seemed unable to deflect his attack in time, unable to dodge as well.

Wei Ma Yi grabbed that person’s hand with ease, and suddenly felt that the hand was icy cold. It was not a human hand that he is holding. In his shock, the man in white had already laughed sinisterly and said, “Release your hand!”. With a splitting sound, his long sleeve has torn into two, and Wei Ma Yi saw that his opponent’s ‘hand’ had already slashed through his palm, fresh blood flooding out immediately. The hand of this man in white, is actually a steel hook!

Although the injury on Wei Ma Yi’s palm was not serious, he is worried that there might be poison on the hook, so he dared not meet the fight head on. He retreated, getting ready to run away. Suddenly, someone angrily shouted, “How can the disciples of Wu Ya be people who will escape, no matter if they are human or ghosts, what are you afraid of?”

This person is skinny and small like a boy, on his indescribably ugly face, was a very nicely grown beard. The long beard swayed with the wind, almost touching the ground.

On his head was a gold headpiece, his long robe glowing blue, looking extremely hilarious yet funny at the same time. That man-eating ghost in the woods exclaimed in alarm, “Wei Wu Ya is here! Even the ghosts are afraid, better escape!”

By then everyone, whether ghosts or humans, escaped in a flash, leaving only Xiao Yu’er hanging on the tree. Even Su Ying is no where to be seen.

Wei ma Yi sighed and said with a bitter smile, “Only now does disciple know, no matter what, I am still incomparable to Teacher.”

Wei Wu Ya smiled frostily, “It’s good that you know.”

He waved his sleeve and added, “Where did that person injure you? Is it poisoned? Hold your hand out and let me take a look.”

Wei Ma Yi extended his hand slowly, and suddenly struck towards Wei Wu Ya.

Although this attack is quick, but Wei Wu Ya seemed to be prepared for such an attack, and with a dodge of his body, retreated about a ten feet away, and burst out angrily, “What a cursed disciple, to be so rude towards your Teacher.”

Wei Ma Yi laughed madly, “Your art of disguise may be good, but if you are thinking of disguising yourself as Wei Wu Ya, you’re still far from it!”

That Wei Wu Ya laughed as well, “Good, you actually saw through me, but let me ask you, in what way was my impersonation incorrect?”

Wei Ma Yi laughed loudly, “Don’t you know that he is born handicapped, both his legs are like a baby’s, and he walked as if he crawled. He’s afraid that others would see it, so he never walked on his own.”

There was laughter, and that monk jumped out from the darkness again, waving his hands and laughing, “Xiao Jiao has met your match this time.”

That man-eating ghost suddenly appeared as well and chortled, “An ugly and strange person like Wei Wu Ya, it’s difficult to find a second one in the world. It’s really not easy to impersonate him, I’ve long said that your hard work will be all for naught.”

That person’s body grew, and suddenly she was taller by two feet, and said “Now I’m only thinking of what are the ways to make Wei Wu Ya take a few steps.”

Wei Ma Yi suddenly somersaulted, and flew like an arrow back to where Xiao Yu’er was. He drew out a jade green dagger and pointed it at Xiao Yu’er’s throat, shouting “Are you here to save him?”

That man-eating ghost laughed loudly, “You want to kill him, but can you kill him?”

Amidst his laughter, Xiao Yu’er who was unable to move and hanging upside down on the tree, suddenly could move! Not only can he move, his movements were faster than lightning. Both his hands moved, and hit Wei ma Yi’s various acupoints. In his shock, Wei Ma Yi did not even have the chance to retaliate and he has already been subdued. Xiao Yu’er took his dagger, pointed it at his throat and chuckled, “You have been tricked again.”

Wei Ma Yi could only stare at him, gritting his teeth. At a time like this, what else can he say. Xiao Yu’er looked at him, grinning, “Now you should know, it’s not easy to take advantage of me. If you take advantage of me, sooner or later I would take it back, together with interest.”

That man-eating ghost sauntered over, and after sniffing Wei Ma Yu’s neck, immediately revealed a look of extreme joy. He clasped his palms and laughed, “Wonderful, wonderful, this person no longer has any rat smell. If more onions and ginger were added, together with superior quality soy sauce to stew, it is at least still edible.”

Wei Ma Yi’s eyes were filled with fear, and staring at him, he asked hoarsely, “You… are you ‘Does not eat human head’ Li Da Zui?”

That man-eating ghost looked heavenward and laughed, “I have not roamed the martial arts realm for over twenty years, I did not expect that there’s still people who will remember my name.”

Wei Ma Yi’s whole body weakened. If it was someone else who wanted to eat him, he might not believe that person, but if Li Da Zui said he wants to eat him, that is not a joke at all.

Xiao Yu’er grinned, “Why are you scaring him, if his bitter gall breaks from the fear, won’t the meat be wasted then.”

Suddenly a person floated down from the treetop, his white hempen gown dancing in the wind, and settled in front of Wei Ma Yi. He looked at him with a grin and said, “You only recognize ‘Does not eat human head’ Li Da Zui? Do you recognize me?”

This person is the one who was hit by Wei Ma Yi’s secret weapon and fell from the treetop earlier, and on his white hempen hairpiece, there was a silver needle. Obviously, although it did not strike him, but it was a close shave at least.

Wei Ma Yi took a look at him, closed his eyes and sighed, “Pretending to be a ghost, I should have guessed that you are ‘Half Human Half Ghost’ Yin Jiu You.”

However that person snapped a branch, lifted his eyelids and said, “Open your eyes bigger and take a look; where is Yin Jiu You.”

Wei Ma Yi can only open his eyes and glanced over, and saw that on the treetop there is still a person in hempen clothes floating on the treetop, dressed exactly the same as the person in front of him.

So there were two people who were pretending to be ghosts earlier, no wonder it was ‘suddenly in front, suddenly behind, suddenly to the left, suddenly to the right’, once the trick was revealed, it’s not worth even a single cent.

Wei Ma Yi heaved a long sigh and said with a bitter smile, “Ten Evils, how many have arrived today?”

That person said, “Not too many, only six, old man here is ‘Harming others without benefit to oneself’ Bai Kai Xin, have you heard of my big name?”

Wei Ma Yi replied coldly, “I have long heard that of the ‘Ten Evils’, Bai Kai Xin can be considered the most useless one. It’s just that those in the martial arts realm added you in to make up the numbers.”

Bai Kai Xin’s expression changed, but he still laughed loudly and said, “Don’t you try to sow discord. I am already forty-eight, and will no longer be tricked by such.”

That monk clapped, “Bai Kai Xin have really grown up, it’s just that you’re obviously fifty-two, why did you say you’re forty-eight. You’re not a woman, why the need to hide your age.”

Bai Kai Xin stared, “I have not married, if I don’t hide a few years, who would want to marry me.”

He tapped Wei Ma Yi’s shoulder and added, “You must remember, this monk has knives hidden in his smiles, he’s the worst.”

Wei Ma Yi sighed, “What a good ‘Dagger in Laughter’ Ha Ha’er!”

His eyes flitted over to that pale looking man in white, “You are…. You are…”

That man in white flicked his long sleeves, revealing his hands… his right hand is actually a shiny steel hook, his left hand shiny, and red as blood!

Wei Ma Yi cried hoarsely, “Bloody… bloody hands Du Sha!”

Du Sha replied, “Humph!”

Wei Ma Yi laughed miserably, “Good, good, good, so it’s true that six of the ‘Ten Evils’ are here. That I, Wei Ma Yi were to end up in your hands, what else can I say?”

Du Sha said coldly, “That’s right, you can only die!”

He walked over step by step, with a flash of light, his steel hook taking a swipe towards Wei Ma Yi’s throat.

Li Da Zui hurriedly grabbed his hands, “This cannot be done.”

Du Sha asked fiercely, “What do you want?”

Li Da Zui smiled, “How would little brother here dare to interfere in Big Brother Du’s affairs. It’s just that, there’s already not much flesh left in him, if you kill him before cooking him, there will be a great loss of blood, and the meat would have much taste left.”

Du Sha agreed.

He slowly put his hands down, but Wei Ma Yi had already stammered in alarm, “Li Da Zui, you and I are after all both in the martial arts realm. I will die with no complaints if you kill me, but how can you… how can…” He only felt a wave of nausea, and vomited out everything in his stomach.”

Li Da Zui pinched Wei Ma Yi’s flesh and mumbled, “A person of this size, I’m afraid just two catties of soy sauce, a catty of cooking wine, ten cents worth of ginger and spring onions would be enough, of course, and another five cents worth of five spices and aniseed.”

Wei ma Yi’s body went numb, and finally stammered, “Please, I… I beg of you…”

Li Da Zui carried Wei Ma Yi up with his hands and laughed, “Everyone, I am hungry, and will make a move first…”

He has not finished his words but Wei Ma Yi had already fainted after emitting a maddening roar. Ha Ha’er clapped his hands and laughed, “Fainted from fear, fainted from fear, Li Da Zui really has a few capable tricks.”

Bai Kai Xin touched Wei Ma Yi’s head and said, “When this lad wakes up, he will certainly listen to us obediently. If we want to pick Wei Wu Ya’s rat hole, we’ll need to rely on this lad’s help.”

Ha Ha’er agreed, “Exactly the case, or else why need we spend so much effort to scare him.”

Xiao Yu’er stretched lazily and laughed, “But pity me, that I had to hang on this tree for an hour more.”

Du Jiao Jiao looked at him for a moment before suddenly exclaiming, “That lass Su obviously was about to reveal the secret to ‘Shifting Flower Grafting Jade’, why did you stop her instead?”

Bai Kai Xin added, “That’s right, why did you stop her, aren’t you going to fight it out with Hua Wu Que soon? If you can find out the secret to ‘Shifting Flower Grafting Jade’, won’t it be a sure win?”

Xiao Yu’er smiled lazily, “If I know the secret to his martial arts, then what’s the point of fighting with him?”

Bai Kai Xin stared at him for a while before heaving a long sigh and commented, “So you are a good person.”

He suddenly laughed loudly, clapped his hands and said, “A child brought up by Ha Ha’er, Li Da Zui, Big Brother Du, Du Jiao Jiao, Yin Jiu You, the five of you, would actually be a good person… a sheepdog that comes from a den of foxes, don’t the five of you feel ashamed?”

Yin Jiu You, Du Sha’s expressions changed slightly.

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