Chapter 22: Oh Bai Yu, do not lose to fate Part II
Change your own destiny?
“Then why do I have to do that? You want me to change the destiny that has happened and already ended. For what?”
The goddess of fate went still. She dropped her silvery eyes behind the veil.
“Your old destiny made a god unable to complete his duty and return to heaven.”
She hindered a god’s mission?
“Your destiny in this life is the same as what you know. The former Bai Yu committed sins, pursued the wrong red string of fate. And insisted on cutting off another’s string, She had also created karma to many, causing them great pain...”
Those problems must be the fact that Bai Yu only loved Ouyang Mingxian and tried to sabotage his relationship with Bai Hua, right?
.....
“...But in the end, you were not successful and decided to surrender to your fate, ending your life before finding your own red string.”
That must be about Bai Yu who could not stand how Ouyang Mingxian remained true to his love for Bai Hua alone, so she committed suicide while being Empress.
“...In your next lives, those people came back to take back what you had taken from them. Because of your actions in your first life, you have to endure the pain of love in every subsequent life, surrendering to fate again and again. every time, you ended your own life before meeting the person at the other end of your red string...”
This must be what Li Wenrou and Song Lianhua did to her and made her commit suicide?
“...This cycle would continue for many lives. Whether you were born as human or animal, your fate was to eternally create karma with them. Every life, you would lose to fate and take your own life, again and again.”
T...This kind of thing...
The listener stood, stock-still. Her hands balled into fists. Tears continued to pour from her dazed eyes. Bai Yu did not have a word to describe her feeling for what was revealed to her. She was affected by a much bigger problem than she had thought.
This...was it really true?
“A god incarnated into this world to guide you and your fated person. But having to continuously repay for your karma in numerous lives like this made you unable to fulfill your true destiny. As a result, the god that was sent to help you cannot return to heaven for hundreds of years now.”
A god that came to lead her to her fated person?
“Currently, the situation within heaven was not desirable. I, who was tasked to oversee your fates, cannot stand by and let heaven be deprived of its ‘god of war’. I brought you back to this life, the beginning of everything so that you can start anew and pave the better path where there was no foul karma and where you can find your own red string of fate.”
No!
“Ugh...” Bai Yu slumped down. Her two hands pressed over the left side of her chest, sensing the heart that was in pain. The more she thought about what she heard, the more her heart hurt. Something within was yelling to her ‘No!’.
What ‘god of war’? She did not understand. If she had to change her fate to avoid hurting others, then would that mean she had to stop loving Ouyang Mingxian?
Her answer was no. She would never let go of Ouyang Mingxian! He had been hers all along. All her life she was expected to be his wife. Even if that was not the correct red string of fate, but her whole life was spent waiting for him. How could she stop now?!
“Why...am...I...in pain...ugh...I can’t...huff...stop...this...feeling...” Five fingers dig into where her heart was, wrinkling the fabric.
“It is the feeling of you in that body. Though your soul was another, heart and soul still cannot be completely separate...because all of this is the same you.”
“...I...was born to be his wife...huff...”
Her tears continued to flow. Even when her brain did not think twice about losing said position, her heart made her unstoppably cry. Bai Yu could not understand why she was so hurt. Her new self did not have any feeling for Ouyang Mingxian, but when she heard that she should not be close to him, the feeling from the original body made her heart ache.
“Deep in your heart, you still love Ouyang Mingxian and wish to be his consort...”
“...N...No...I don’t want...”
The new Bai Yu did not want to return to that cycle of karma with those people anymore.
“If so, find your red string, then.”
Within her heart, there was another name that appeared when the goddess mentioned her ‘red string of fate’. Even if it hurt like she would die, she still hoped...
“Ugh...Is...is it Wenrou...?” She sobbed. Her face stained with tears made her seem like she could break down at any moment.
Bai Yu might feel sad that her fated person was not Ouyang Mingxian, but at the same time, she also held a meager wish that it would be Li Wenrou. Feelings of the old and new Bai Yu further became muddled. Her eyes were red because of her weeping.
“...I...ugh...What do I do?... What do I do...?”
She beat her chest with her own fist as if trying to dissipate the confusion within herself with the impact. Bai Yu kept hitting without thinking how it might bruise her skin. The beautiful face full of tears was a pitiful sight.
The old Bai Yu loved Ouyang Mingxian with all her heart...
The new Bai Yu loved Li Wenrou until her last breath...
Then, what should she do next...
“Oh Bai Yu, do not lose to fate.”
The clear voice was kinder and softer than when she met at first. The figure in the dark blue dress lifted her face to the disguised goddess in front of her. Her words, ‘do not lose to fate’ strangely calmed her heart. The cacophony within her slowly ceased.
“There are three more people who have been waiting to meet you after so many lives. All that you need to do is to not surrender to your fate.” Her hopeful words and smile behind the wide hat were like cold water to her heated heart.
Bai Yu wiped her tears with both of her hands, yet still could not stop crying. She tried to suppress sadness and hesitation.
“I want to know one thing. Can you please help me...?”
“What do you want to know?”
She squeezed her hand, being both fearful and hopeful.
“After I died as Yoknapha...” The villainess took a deep breath. “...How were those people?”
The new Bai Yu could somewhat handle her feelings toward Ouyang Mingxian, but she still both loved and resented Li Wenrou. If Li Wenrou was the same person as Ouyang Wenrou, she wanted to know his end in that life so that she could make up her mind.
After her mother died of heartbreak because of her father’s unfaithfulness, her father left her to grow up with his money. She continued to live a solitary life, even though she had her grandmother who cared about her, she still felt lonely when they had to be apart until she met Li Wenrou...
He was the light of her life. No matter how much she resented him, she could not easily cut herself from the person who had been her love and her life for so long.
“I will let you see if it can help you make your decision.”
Bai Yu smiled slightly and bowed her head to show gratitude.
“Now, child, close your eyes...”
Bai Yu closed her eyes with her hands in her lap. She was bracing herself to face the truth...
———————-
The image showed the world-renowned villainess lying on the carpet stained with red. On her body was a wound on her left wrist, while in her right hand was tightly holding a mobile phone. Her eyes were closed. She looked like a goddess sleeping soundly in the pool of blood.
At the same time, a pink-skinned infant was held in the arms of the angelic actor of China. On his face was a warm smile, similar to his mother’s smile. The mother was gazing at the son with a pale face.
“I’ll name our child Mingxian...”
“Mingxian, meaning the god of light?” Song Lianhua said with a smile. Though her happiness was not long as her breath was becoming harder. Her eyes widened as she struggled to breathe. Her hand reached out to her son in her lover’s arms, but it was too late...
“Song Lianhua or Bai Hua died at the same time as you did. The karma between you and her was repaid in that life.” The goddess of fate said as they watched Li Wenrou’s sorrow amidst the sound of crying from Li Mingxian who was still an innocent newborn.
Shortly after, Li Wenrou was notified of Yoknapha’s suicide. He asked his manager to take care of the matter of his child and Song Lianhua. He rushed to the emergency room to see her, but in the end, received the answer from the doctor that Yoknapha had died from losing too much blood.
He fully blamed himself for it. After he hung up from Yoknapha’s call, Li Wenrou called her manager to go take care of her, but it was too late...
The news of the death of the international villainess, the girlfriend of nine years to China’s Mr. Angelic, rocked the entertainment world. Still, it was not as scandalous as the news that Yoknapha killed herself after knowing that Li Wenrou and Song Lianhua cheated behind her back for over three years and even had a child together. The child that was born the same day Yoknapha died.
Society pitied Yoknapha, the villainess who worshipped love above all else.
Society cursed Song Lianhua, the heroine who betrayed the dead.
Society condemned Li Wenrou, the traitorous ‘angel’ who still lived.
As time passed...
Society slowly forgot their tragic story, while Li Mingxian grew up, raised by Li Wenrou who was swallowed by grief and guilt for the two women who died on the same day.
Fate would spin this story in a cycle that would continue for many more lives...
She hurt them. They hurt her. These things all started from what happened in the life that was similar to that series. But now Bai Yu realized that it was not a normal TV series, but it was her fate in her first incarnation. This was what would dictate if her and their suffering had to continue in every life not...
When she was in this body, she loved him even more. When she saw the truth in that former life, she resented him even more. When she reviewed all that had happened and turned back to ask herself...
Bai Yu could not stop loving Ouyang Mingxian! At the same time, Bai Yu also both love and hate Ouyang Wenrou so much!
Above all...Bai Yu hated Bai Hua more than anything!
Now that she could not get away from these feelings, now that this fate of hers involved even the state of heaven...
In this new life...what should she do?
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