Transformation or Death

Loss, Preparation (4)

His heart stopped.  

Normally, that meant death.

Of course, simply having your heart stop doesn’t immediately put you in a state of death. If you receive proper emergency treatment, there’s a good chance of survival.  

But that’s only when your heart just stops.

If your heart disappeared altogether, any emergency treatment would be utterly pointless.

The hole punched through the center of his chest fell away cleanly, as if it had never existed there in the first place. The two holes punched slightly below were the same – cleanly pierced without a single drop of blood.  

Three holes formed in the body enveloped by lightning. A cold wind passed through them. 

It was a gruesome sight.

“To think you were deluded enough to believe I had died from merely having my body and head separated.”

The floating head in the sky let out a laugh. It was a bizarre spectacle.

Aquila’s head breathed without respiratory organs, regained color without a heart, and spoke without vocal cords. Ordinarily impossible. Hence, a miracle.

A light reminiscent of a miracle began to grow slowly from his head. A brilliant golden light. As cold as metal, as sharp as lightning.

This golden light sprouted out, growing downwards from below the neck. It gradually took on a definite form – similar to a human body. The light extended into shapes of hands and feet, becoming his limbs.

“You underestimated me far too much.”  

Aquila scoffed confidently.

“I shall praise the spirit that dared defy me. Take what little worth your ashes have and go.”

The wandering, stray eagles regained their formation, moving in a way that evoked planetary orbits – numerous planets circling Aquila as the sun.

Tens of thousands of wings fell from the rotating eagles. Those wings dispersed into light before hitting the ground. A golden light, like what now formed Aquila’s body.

The bodies of the rotating eagles scattered and began to coalesce into a single mass – a clump of grey smoke.

“Behold. This is the divine punishment that will incinerate you.”

The eagles became a cloud.

A thundercloud potent enough to unleash lightning upon the world.  

Aquila’s power did not merely extend to controlling eagles. This very lightning symbolized his true power.

A roar like Zeus’s majesty thundered.

Wacheon simply stood there grasping his battle-axe, not budging an inch.

“…Brother.”

Joo Ah-yoon was petrified, overwhelmed. Fortunately or not, she was not in Aquila’s sights at all as he revealed the full extent of his hidden powers in rage against Han Jae-jung for attacking his throat.

It’s said that people often freeze up right before a traffic accident. Like a frog staring at a snake, they lose rational judgment overwhelmed by terror and shock. 

However, what Joo Ah-yoon experienced was a bit different from that kind of overwhelming feeling. She wasn’t overwhelmed by an enemy, but by the situation itself.

She silently watched him suddenly stop all biological activity and stiffen. He stood holding the large battle-axe in his right hand, not moving a muscle. The lightning still enveloped his body, yet he made no sound or movement.  

His lenses had blackened, devoid of focus or life, the crackling of the lightning the only sound he made.

“Brother…?”

She didn’t know if the utterance held a question or sorrow. Joo Ah-yoon reached out her hand. The lightning grazed it, distorting her fingers.

Without a chance to feel the pain, Joo Ah-yoon muttered again, “Brother…”

Is this really how it ends? Ending so futilely?  

“Why me of all people… Someone like me you had to protect…”

You said a dream was to protect the protector, so why did you end up protecting me, someone desperately just trying to preserve her own life, not even a real protector?

There was no reason this person had to die so easily. 

There was no reason to have your heart pierced just for shielding someone like me.

“Can’t be…can’t be…if you really…really die like this…”

Joo Ah-yoon’s voice was thick with emotion. Her eyes brimmed with tears, large teardrops rolling down her cheeks.

“Don’t go brother…please…don’t go like this…”

Death is truly frightening. Not just one’s own death. The death of another is frightening too. Sometimes the death of others feels more terrifying than your own death. That’s how Joo Ah-yoon n felt now. She would have felt happier dying herself than have this happen.

“Why did it have to be me…you living would have been so much better than someone with no dreams or future like me…”  

She grabbed his arm, not caring about her palm burning from the lightning. Mournful droplets splashed onto the back of her hand, marred by grotesque burn marks.

And then, the arm of Han Jae-jung that Joo Ah-yoon was holding began to move.

“…Brother?”

But Joo Ah-yoon did not feel joy. Only a sense of unease. Her instincts rang alarm bells. What she sensed from him was not the warmth of life, but a chill like fresh snowfields.

The hollow hole in his chest filled with white lightning. The two other holes in vital areas were also plugged by lightning.

He essentially grabbed the axe he had put down with his right hand, and his previously drooping head was raised stiffly. 

No emotion could be felt from the jet black lenses.

He looked at Aquila. Aquila also looked at him.

“Hoo. So you’re a villain too? Interesting.” 

Thunder and lightning were still raging in the sky to bake the watcher.

“Hey, wait! Brother is now… Kkyaak!”

Following the lightning shaking the sky, lightning shaking the ground appeared. None other than from the watcher.  

He leaped up. A white line appeared in the gold-filled sky. The deafening sound of thunder followed his path.

The golden lightning in the sky initiated interception. Dozens of rays of light shot down and the watcher raised his axe.

Kkugukung! The two lightnings collided. The surrounding buildings easily turned to dust.

Unable to withstand the impact of the lightning, the watcher fell down. But using buildings as a foothold, he approached Aquila again. The golden lightning struck again, he blocked it but eventually fell down, this time using a different building as a foothold to leap.

He repeated this countless times. 

Joo Ah-yoon just watched him raging around endlessly.

“…Brother.”

That wasn’t him escaping death. It was merely a mechanical device recklessly continuing to operate to fulfill its duty. Not a shred of humanity or emotion remained, only operating for the purpose of completing its mission.

Was this how dreams were supposed to be achieved? Was this the original intent, acting without any regard for one’s body, to cut the opponent’s throat and drink their blood?

“This…”

The consumption of starlight was abnormal. If it consumed that heavily, it couldn’t sustain combat for long. The movement charging at Aquila was extremely efficient, but that efficiency was solely for the purpose of killing the enemy, not protecting himself.

It reminded her of how he had charged at Paradox while taking all the magical girls’ attacks. That same self-destructive fighting style with no regard for his well-being.

“This is… not right.”

He also didn’t care about the surroundings. Civilians were screaming and fleeing, and the shockwaves from the lightning collisions easily demolished buildings.

Lightning even struck near Joo Ah-yoon’s feet. The asphalt road melted inwards emitting a terrible smell.

“Why is my brother in such a state…”

Joo Ah-yoon knew.

“…Because of me.”

He had risked danger by transforming to protect her, ready to sacrifice his life to guard her. Even when his life was in greatest peril, he charged forth without rest to drive away the enemy.

Also, Joo Ah-yoon knew that this way, he couldn’t achieve his dream.  

The one who obstructed the dreamer was none other than Joo Ah-yoon herself, the one who had supported and respected his dream more than anyone.

“Because of me…”

Joo Ah-yoon remembered again.

There had been a similar incident before.

She had previously been kidnapped by a villain. She couldn’t recall what kind of stellar power that villain used. But judging from how the media covered it, she remembered it was an A-grade villain. She also remembered its horrific appearance – a wheelbug body with a human face and crow wings, a grotesque form.

Back when Blue Sirius wasn’t so strong yet. At that time, Joo Ah-yoon’s ability could barely solo defeat an A-grade villain by herself.

On the day she was kidnapped, Joo Ah-yoon had a huge fight with the Han Jae-jung and Yoon Seol-hwa couple. She couldn’t remember the trigger, but she had vented her feelings of exclusion as an outsider to them. It was such a pathetic reason.

Thanks to wandering the streets late at night, no one noticed her disappearance. Han Jae-jung was at home and Yoon Seol-hwa was busy with work.

Joo Ah-yoon had resigned herself to death. So I’ll just die easily here. That’s what she had resolved.

But she didn’t die. Just because he couldn’t reach her, Han Jae-jung recklessly ran around the night streets without any regard for the dangers, and found her. Yoon Seol-hwa dealt with the villain.

Upon finding her loved ones, Joo Ah-yoon’s tension broke and tears streamed endlessly from her eyes. Then she shouted loudly, “Why did you come?! It’s dangerous! Just let me… let me die…”  

Thinking back now, those are words that make one’s ears burn. She put on airs of nonchalance and lashed out at people who risked their lives to rescue her.

Back then, she really couldn’t understand. Why did they cherish so much someone like her – an outcast with a bad personality and short stature?

But they had their reasons.

“It’s because it’s you, Ah-yoon. It’s because it’s you that I saved you. No matter how you evaluate yourself, I want to save you. I want to protect the people precious to me. I want to become someone who can do that. That’s my dream. So, no matter how dangerous it gets, I won’t abandon you.”  

Yoon Seol-hwa was solemn.

“Ah-yoon, I have a dream. To eventually open a small shop with you all and live peacefully. But what if you die now? That would be disastrous.”

Han Jae-jung was slightly playful. 

Despite their contrasting attitudes, it was no different. They both had dreams. Existences they wanted to become and futures they wished for. For a moment, Joo Ah-yoon felt ashamed of herself.

They have dreams. But she doesn’t. She doesn’t think it’s unfortunate. Rather, it’s because having a dream leads to unhappiness.

Joo Ah-yoon, who realized there was no Santa Claus when her parents absconded on Christmas Eve, sincerely thought so. 

Those who dream are unhappy. At the same time, they shine. They are the courageous ones who keep walking despite knowing they will endure countless hardships in the future. They are the ones who boldly walk the path that she herself is too afraid to take.

That’s why Joo Ah-yoon respected their courage.

She respected their pride and purity that allowed them to make decisions she could not.

Joo Ah-yoon slightly lowered her head and looked out over the city. Some civilians were leading the evacuation while looking after others, some were trying to save their children, some their parents, some their lovers, in an effort to preserve life.

Outside the lightning, the magical girls were helping the evacuation while getting injured. The colorful, beautiful starlight. The brilliant clusters of light that couldn’t be seen even in the night sky. Each of those countless starlights held a dream within it.

But now, those countless dreams are wavering.  

Countless lives are wavering.

Not just Han Jae-jung’s, but the dreams of so many people here.

Joo Ah-yoon has no dream. But that didn’t mean she didn’t support their dreams. It didn’t mean she wanted to interfere with their dreams.

She didn’t want her existence to become a wall obstructing their path of dreams.

“…Yeah, that’s right.”

Only now could she recall.

“That’s what it was.”

On the day she was kidnapped, when Yoon Seol-hwa and Han Jae-jung came to save her, something similar happened.

The kidnappers turned out not to be individuals but groups, and it was revealed that dozens of villains were entrenched underground. After taking one down, all the underground villains appeared in the world, and it became a nightmarish night.

Wheel-bug-like creatures the size of humans, flying in the sky and crawling on the ground. Everyone screamed in disgust and fear. Facing each of the A-grade villains was quite difficult for the still-inexperienced Blue Sirius.

That’s why Joo Ah-yoon…

“I became a magical girl.”

She became a magical girl.

“I had no dream.”  

What she had was not a dream, but a will.

“So… That’s why I forgot so easily.”

On the night she became a non-magical girl, she saw a scene Belt showed her.

The scene Belt showed her was perhaps a world that could have existed.  

She got a glimpse of Joo Ah-yoon’s life where she wasn’t kidnapped and didn’t become a magical girl.

It looked happy. Happy enough that she wanted to keep living like that. So Joo Ah-yoon forgot. Because that was her wish.

“…Parrot.”

[Won’t you regret it?]

A familiar voice leaked out from the floating iron ball.

[You know a life without fighting. You know a life where you can be a little happier. And yet you’re going to fight again?]

“I just realized one thing anew.”  

The voice of Deneb’s mascot. Her partner who had been with her since the day she became a magical girl.

“You don’t necessarily have to fight for your own happiness. It was okay to fight for others instead of myself.” 

The voice in the iron ball wasn’t something that hadn’t been heard until now. From the beginning, it had been activated and ready to respond whenever she truly wanted it.

“I’m sorry for forgetting you until now, Parrot.”

[…Alright, I understand.]

She remembered everything. So now, her task was clear.

Joo Ah-yoon grabbed the iron ball. 

With a metallic click, the iron ball unfolded and became a belt buckle. A buckle shaped like a bird spreading its wings, different from the one currently worn by Watcher.

Joo Ah-yoon proudly put that buckle around her waist and muttered, 

“Transformation.”

Amidst the flurry of colorful starlight and lightning, a single beam of light pierced through all that light.

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