233 Who are you to me?
“I’m sorry, my Lord.”
“Were you really done with me to the extent that you’d bite me if it meant rejecting me?”
Penelope didn’t know how to reply to that. “I... wasn’t thinking.”
Azriel shook his head. “I’d love to spend all day in here continuing this conversation, but there is someone asking for you.”
Penelope’s brow rose in cautious curiosity. “Who, my Lord?”
“Neera,” Azriel said, the frown vanishing. “The King said she’s been out of her head this week. And you are to come immediately.”
Penelope’s fear was instantly replaced with worry. Neera needed her out of the blue? Something was amiss.
“She isn’t sick,” Azriel assured her.
“Let’s hurry, please,” Penelope said.
.....
She followed Azriel out of the estate. They both shared Azriel’s stallion, and once she was balanced in front of him, Azriel pulled her so she was flush against his back, and her body fit into the spaces of his own.
Waves of heat washed over Penelope, and she felt his lips find their way to her ear and brush against the skin there, sending another fervor of heat over her.
“This is as much closeness as I get to you for a long time,” Azriel said. “But I still fancy myself a challenge, so we are still on that.”
....
The laughter that wasn’t hers rang in her room. But Neera could see snippets play out before her eyes, something from what seemed to be her memory or repressed ones.
Neera saw a vague image of herself seated on the bed, wearing a silk gown. There was an occasion going on downstairs, Neera was sure.
Then Penelope and her at the market square.
There was she in Zavian’s arms.
Then Penelope again, both of them hugging.
The images were like silhouettes in her room, almost as if she could almost reach and touch the ghosts of these images. They came like bolts of lightning, zapping through her head, creating bright images of part of a life she had no idea of living. She knew she was Neera, yes, and brought from the dead, yes, and that a lot of what she knew of Neera was nothing but a soft, pathetic maid.
But these memories; they were newer, fresher, and disturbing.
She couldn’t handle Zavian’s own, the memories of both of them hurt the most. They had been raw, like a wound, and so deep she had headaches as they came. They carried with them a heaviness she had never felt, and when it came, her powers thrummed in the same way they did when that strange sensation passed over her.
Neera heard soft footsteps, and she rose from the bed as the knock sounded. Penelope’s face greeted her with the usual warm smile when she opened it.
“Good day, your Majesty,” Penelope greeted.
Neera looked her up and down, and left the door ajar. She sat on the bed, while Penelope stood.
“Who are you to me again?” Neera asked as if days Penelope had spent reminding her of memories had been for nothing. But she hadn’t been listening, and Penelope was all ready to supply her again.
“We are best friends,” Penelope said. She dared to move toward Neera. “We always talk and share food. You used to sneak food from the King to me when you first got here, and we...”
“One question, one answer,” Neera cut her off with a silencing finger.
Penelope took the order and kept mum. Neera had her eyes darting side to side as if trying to recall for herself. There was a swell of joy in Penelope at that action, it meant something for Neera to call her to ask, for her to remember.
But Neera was confused. The memories trickled in slowly, like drizzles of rain, light and easy. And Neera found them disturbing, like living in the mind of another person.
“We went to go get candies,” Neera recounted. “We...I don’t remember what happened afterward. Then I see you again, you are saying something, I just can’t remember...”
“It will come to you, give it time.” Penelope quickly stopped her. She moved to Neera and crouched before her. She could see it then, the fear in Neera’s eyes, the way her eyes sought Penelope for comfort.
“I don’t want Zavian to know anything,” Neera said. “When I returned, there were only a few memories, or maybe what I thought were my memories, but these ones...why am I having them?”
“Maybe it’s time your mind is waking up,” Penelope said. “They did one of the impossible rituals to bring you back. It would take time for you to heal...”
“You talk too much, Penelope,” Neera shut her again. “Keep your answers short and sensible.”
Penelope lowered her head. “I am sorry, your Majesty.”
Penelope could hear steps approach her. She saw Neera’s feet appear in her line of vision, and she dared to look up. Penelope wished she didn’t, for the coldness that emanated in Neera’s eyes caused a chill to spread through her body.
“What was it about you that I liked so much?” Neera asked. “Assuming they are my memories, why would I willingly choose you to be my friend?”
Penelope dared to raise her head, and even smile at Neera’s face. “Because we love each other, Neera. We are... were like sisters.” she wasn’t sure anymore, because this person in front of her, she didn’t know who she was.
Neera made a groan and turned to her bed. She landed on it with a plop and grabbed a pillow, pressing it down on her face as she tore out a muffled scream.
“Stupid, stupid love!” Neera threw the pillow away, and it landed on the floor. Penelope, eyes wide and taking in her sudden burst of mood, figured it was best to keep her mouth sealed.
“Zavian tells me he loves me, you tell me you love me. Everyone thinks love is enough of an answer, a solution, an explanation! And it irritates me!” Neera stood and pulled the thick duvet off the bed, throwing it on the floor. She reached for the rest of the pillows stacked in a neat arrangement on the bed and began to throw them everywhere.
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