There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.

Hero was somewhat of a mana drain on Delta. She watched her streams of orange mana that usually spread out and conquered rooms to subsume into the Dungeon twist like lifelines into Hero’s body. If she hadn’t visibly shut out other streams, the First and Second floor would be running on ‘life-support’ mode where only the bosses and some rooms would be operational for adventurers.

Hero was amazing, almost unstoppable, but Delta couldn’t actually afford to keep him going for much longer. He was an incremental costing Raid Boss, with more and more mana being pumped into him to account for the tricks he was coming up with and the distance he was making.

There was also the fact that Hero was also given a personality and developing intellect which in the terms of the System, made him more costly than a simple war engine that most Raid Bosses would be otherwise.

Yet, even with all that in mind...

She watched with the barest of awareness around Hero since he was so far out of her Dungeon that only the immediate space around him was revealed to Delta. She could only look as her monster was slammed into the wall of a dilapidated manor foyer, it was rather strange and bizarre for such a normal thing to be seen in a deep fortress of the dead. Hero grunted and his arms exploded into slithering bulbous mushrooms that sunk into joints and gaps, but the creature flexed and cutting metal edges simply sheared the invading vines off.

A colossal metal knight that reeked of twisted mana raised a battle axe with one arm but stumbled back as Hero’s new little Black Hole pig companion began to suck in the knight as hard as it could with a tear in space. Delta couldn’t even be worried about it right now... Hero needed any help he could get. Nu could just deal with the consequences later.

The knight lashed out with a metal foot that was hollow on the inside. The pig squealed and had to run for cover, releasing the pull on the axe as the foot, while also being pulled, had enough force to swipe through the edge of the black hole.

It was enough for Hero to get loose and begin to form Mushroom Spitters to try and dissolve the metal shield it had on its arm. The acid hissed, but the metal refused to warp as black energy rushed in to protect it. Delta felt sick as the energy sounded like it was... screaming.

If her foe was a necromancer of some kind and given the fact Hero had literally bashed a skeleton, through a ghost, into a zombie not long ago, Delta was inclined to believe she was correct, then that energy would be some tortured force of souls and dark magic animating the knight. A metal foe with no flesh and enchanted with energy Hero wouldn’t be able to just consume.

Hero formed a mix of Gutrot and burning mushrooms, throwing the volatile mix at the knight in hopes of just blowing it to evil scrap.

The knight just raised its shield which pulsed with a sickening crack, the projectiles were coated in a thick sloppy ectoplasm causing them to fall to the floor inert. The knight stepped on one and the mushroom squelched as he swung his axe at Hero’s head.

Delta’s monster grimaced, his entire arm began to grow moremuscle and fibre, then he lashed out with a punch that would make Lord Mushy proud.

Enchanted fist collided with a brutal axe and there was a pause as equal forces clashed, before the axe split Hero’s hand in twain.However,t the two halves rapidly grew up the weapon and pulled at it. The weapon left the knight’s grip for the briefest of moments and the energy surrounding it vanished.

Hero crushed the axe before using vines to pull the axe blades into his own arm. Delta was on the edge of her metaphorical seat as Hero flexed his new weapon.

“Come on, do a cool heroic quote!” she cheered and Hero’s smile twitched slightly higher. He pointed his new axe-hand at the helmet of the knight.

“I'm gonna break your face!” he challenged.

Delta really had to stop her creations getting bad movie quotes from her head.

----

“-and don’t call me Shirly,” Wyin said bored.

The Fungalmancer shared a look with the Tinker who was hiding behind a rock half-way across the room.

Bloody coward! Fungalmancer tried to explain how perhaps the death of the boy would not be good for anyone and perhaps letting the other Pygmies gain the habit of sacrificing humans would be a bad thing. His spores reached up and Wyin easily read the intent.

For the ultimate fiend and demon of the floor. She was actually quite pretty. However, Fungalmancer knew the prettiest things in nature could be so because they were too dangerous to tangle with and had no need to hide.

“And how am I supposed to do anything? I’m quite rooted to the spot and you kin are... well, they’re in a dirty hole and I’m a lady of culture. You don’t expect me to go down some... hillbilly hole, no?” she asked aghast.

Well, if she could perhaps pass a message on to the Great Mother...

“Delta?” Wyin asked bluntly. Fungalmancer waved his staff in panic and at the audacity of the birch-like tree before it. One did not simply say the name of life and joy!

“Oh... you mean Delta? Delta, Delta? Delta with the big D? Delta who Delta’d the Delta-ish thing ever to have Delta’d? That Delta?” Wyin went on and the heresy almost made Fungalmancer charge in with a warcry.

She smirked, her wooden face and features moving like liquid wood.

“So easy to rile up... ah, you must visit more. Fine, fine... let me see if ‘the mother’ is free,” she said and closed her eyes. The Fungalmancer held its hands up in prayer.

“Please hold,” Wyin said calmly and began to make strange harsh screeching noises. The Fungalmancer did as he was told and kept his arms in the air, holding... whatever it was that Wyin needed for the calling.

“Delta... not there... not... there. Hey Maestro, no, I can talk, got two Pygmies on hold but I can talk,” Wyin said with an easy manner, flexing her strange long branches like she was buffing her nails to... to... the dark singer of Mother.

Fungalmancer’s little beady eyes were about to pop out of its stalk.

Wyin went still as a rock bounced off her face! The Tinker looked at its hand in horror, as if unable to believe what it had just done.

“Maestro... I’m going to have to call you back,” she said emotionlessly.

The silence stretched on for a moment.

“That was a rock... you just threw at my face,” Wyin said, then took a huge deep breath.

“So... what can I do for you again?” Wyin’s smile seemed to creak loudly.

The child… the Fungalmancer puffed at her numbly, deciding he might as well die doing his loyal duty.

---

Deo accepted some more herbal soup with a gracious tone. He was a bit full, but his manners meant he would never refuse until he was utterly full. He could hear his team coordinating ropes and ladders to climb down and he couldn’t wait to show them all the cool face paint and flower crowns the little friendly mushroom people had given him.

One especially liked feeling his pulse. A little priestess one that Deo could sort of communicate with.

They loved his heart if he understood right and that was just the cutest thing Deo had ever heard.

Then the ground began to shake... the entire tunnel system rocked back and forward as a deep primal scream in the earth seemed to come closer. From one of the tunnels, two Pygmies ran inwards. Deo frowned as their puffs came rapidly.

‘And...old...smelly...driftwood’ one yelled back into the darkness.

‘Wouldn’t even use... for kindling...fire burns cold!” the second with goggles taunted. The tunnels exploded with writhing roots and branches.

“Get back here so I can squeeze you until your little heads pop!” a feminine voice travelled through the ground clear enough that even Deo could read it from the shaking alone. A root paused as it poked Deo.

“Urgh... I stepped in human,” the voice went from murderous to disgust so fast that Deo was impressed.

“Hello, I’m Deo,” he introduced himself and the root tried to snake away, ignoring Deo.

“You’re a tree! Fran said he knew a lady tree down here, do you know her?” Deo asked as he crawled after the roots, avoiding the running Pygmies and little homes. There was a pause and the root curled around Deo with a caressing movement.

“Oh, did he?” the voice travelled into Deo’s body, shaking his bones slightly. The voice sounded much happier now.

“Let’s see... you’re the child in trouble. Very well, I have saved you and thus you owe me a debt,” the roots rumbled. Deo blinked. He had been in trouble? No one told him...

“I was fine, reall-” he tried to explain but the voice turned flat.

“Owe me... a debt,” she insisted as she began to gently pull Deo through the tunnels she had expanded with her roots.

“Come into my lair, little human... We have much to discuss. Mostly about me and what that gorgeous Sir Fran may have mentioned about me... He did mention me in a good way, yes?” the woman insisted. He saw the tunnel exit to the village being collapsed and just in time for Grim to throw his hands up.

“Stop getting kidna-” he yelled before the earth fell in.

---

Delta frowned as she felt a low-ping by Wyin. A quick glance mentioned something about the Pygmies and some type of request. Wyin didn’t seem too concerned, so Delta put it to the side for now as Hero cut one of the Knight’s arms off with a mighty rend of his power. The Black Hole Pigglecap adding force to the blow with focused pulls from its portal.

The knight fell apart, the energies holding it together freed as they rushed through the ceiling and out into the world. Delta tried to applaud but she felt... clammy and slightly tired all of a sudden.

Warning: Mana levels are critically low. Regeneration is unable to match the growing costs.

“Hero...” she groaned and the raid boss looked up in concern as he saw the flickering and thinning lines of mana to himself.

“Out of time?” he said calmly and picked up his pig to begin the walk back with his axe-hand. They began to break apart and reappear in the secret garden before they even got ten feet away. The secret garden was such a cheat.

Since it didn’t ‘exist’ in the Dungeon or actual world... Hero could reside there until Delta could recover without a cost. He was less than a soul but more than nothing while there.

Delta saw the fading double doors that would lead into a throne room.

“Soon, you brat,” Delta grumbled before the sight vanished entirely without Hero to act as a proxy.

The good news, however... Delta could now begin to take-over all the space that Hero had emptied out.

“It’s free real estate,” she announced with a grin. Sure, the rooms and space closest to the throne room were already getting boneheads and rotboys in to stem her ability, but Delta was just as equally making bank in claims.

Then Delta finally took a look at her Dungeon. She stares, rubbed her eyes that didn’t actually exist in this space and looked again.

“I was gone for an hour, tops!” she moaned and flew off

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