Lost seemed like the most appropriate word to describe the feeling Zhenyi was feeling right now even though she didn't know about her own feelings. She had no idea about how long she walked or where she walked.
All she knew was that she was looking for a place to put back her broken yet raging heart. A place she didn't know if she would ever find.
Her loss would never let her forget the tragedy fate had inflicted on her.
Her fierce personality had crumbled down all of a sudden, and a melancholic air was surrounding her-- reminding everyone that even an invincible person such as her was just as breakable as her. One just needed to know where to hit.
Standing by the side of the road, her gaze fell on a woman who was laughing and talking to her baby, and a pang of jealousy, and ache rushed through her veins.
She recalled what she had heard when she arrived at Fan Bingbing's house -- thought she would surprise her, but who had known that she would end up getting the shock of her life.
She would never forgive her Bà. He had no right to make decisions on her behalf. She loved her father more than herself, still, it didn't give him any right to hide such a significant matter from her.
She lost her child, and he kept her in darkness all along. Had she no right to mourn the child she lost? Was she so undeserving? Was it her punishment from the heavens?
She knew that she was the reason for the death of the people she loved. She killed her mom, her sister, and also...her baby. A baby she hadn't known was in her womb. If she had known, she would have given all of herself to protect that little life even though she was not ready to be a mother. The baby was the product of her and Jie's love.
Did he know what they have lost unknowingly?
She loves Jie so much. What if she lost him too?
'No. No.' Zhenyi kept muttering to herself. She had thought that once he came back she would finally confess how much she loved him. But now...he would hate her, right? She killed their baby. He would hate her. He would leave her alone, and she didn't know how to live without him.
'You don't deserve him.'
'You killed a life that had yet to see this world.'
'You're nothing but a disgrace on the name of a woman.'
All the voices in her head were making her crazy. She put her hands on her ear and loudly shouted, "No!"
"I didn't do it intentionally. I didn't even know I was pregnant. It's not my fault..."
"Yeah, it's not my fault..."
"Please…"
She never felt so alone and helpless.
She needed her husband. She would give everything right now to have him take her back into his arms...
She was so immersed in the internal monologue that she didn't notice how her swollen feet twisted and… She would have fallen, if not for a slender arm that came to her rescue as it pulled her by the safe side.
"Are you all right?" A voice asked concernedly.
Zhenyi froze for a second and slowly and slowly she opened her eyes to find.
Forest green eyes staring at her. The genuine concern in her eyes was unmistakable.
Celestial nose, very familiar to her.
Bow shaped lips, she had seen those lips before.
And a cleft chin, she can't forget it ever.
'She's..."
Her weak heart needed some preparation to absorb this information. She was the same woman who she had seen in the painting.
Zhenyi glanced at her again. No, this girl was not her. She was just her lookalike. That woman in the painting looked petite, but this one was even taller than her. She was around 1.8 m, and so she couldn't be the woman in the painting. She and Zhenyi were of almost the same age, so there was no way those two would be the same, right?
Fate was not playing a joke with her again, right?
"Who are you?" Zhenyi directly questioned her, suppressing the storm raging in her heart.
"I'm Alcina," came the swift reply.
"I know you," Zhenyi said, catching the lady off-guard.
To say Alcina was shocked by what Zhenyi had said would be a lie. It took her a long while to come out of her initial shock.
"You know me?" Alcina questioned Zhenyi with slight hesitation.
Zhenyi smacked her head with her palm lightly as realization dawned upon her, and spoke in a soft voice to clear the misunderstanding. "I'm sorry, Miss Alcina. Thank you for helping me. You just look like someone I know, so it was a confusion on my part."
Alcina sighed in relief. "There is no need to feel sorry." She paused and as she looked at Zhenyi from head to toe, she felt as if something was literally not right with Zhenyi. "Would you like to have a drink?"
Zhenyi glanced at her again in confusion.
Alcina gave a sad smile. "Two heartbroken women can nurse their hearts over a drink, don't you think so?"
"Someone once told me that Alcohol is not capable of ending our suffering and pain. It can only make us numb for a moment," said Zhenyi, the melancholic air surrounding her became visible." However, it can make us addicted to that numbness."
"What would you do if the same person is the reason for your pain?" Alcina's question made Zhenyi loss for words.
_____
Sorry for the melancholic chapter, and let's welcome Alcina, she is going to be a very important character till the end of the story. Well, she came with a lot of surprises.
You have to decide whether Alcina is a foe or friend, a Villain or a heroine.
Last but not least, this arch is going to solve the mysteries related to the Long Clan (not entirely). And in the next volume, we will come back to Xins.
You're welcome to guess and assume, but I request you not to judge anyone instantly. No one is born a hero, and no one is born Villain either.
QUESTION: If you think that someone is doing so much for you, even didn't think before endangering their life for you, and you consider that person a Messiah. But what would you do when the same person is doing everything for you for a number of reasons?
Would you hate them?
(Waiting for your answer!)
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