The Two Hundred and Eighty Pound Fat Girl and Her Five Husbands
Chapter 143: Coquettish
Chapter 143
Just as Lin Zaozao was looking at that eunuch and fantasizing in her mind, the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country looked at the eunuch beside her and said jokingly, “Mingzhu, what's the matter? Do you happen to like this Eunuch San Bao beside me? If you like him, I'll give him to you. What do you think?"
"Eunuch San Bao!"
Lin Zaozao pursed her lips and looked up and down at Eunuch San Bao in front of her, her eyes full of malicious interest.
"Auntie! This Eunuch San Bao is a eunuch without a rod. Now the treasure on his body is gone. What use would I have of him? A rodless thing would just waste rice if I took him back. Forget it, I don't want him."
Lin Zaozao's voice had just fallen, and the expression on the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country's face choked involuntarily.
Especially Eunuch San Bao, Lin Zaozao could feel that his eyes could spout fire.
But when Eunuch San Bao's gaze met Lin Zaozao's, in addition to anger in his eyes, there was also an inscrutable look that Lin Zaozao couldn't make out.
"Hey hey hey! Eunuch San Bao, why are you glaring at me? It wasn't me who cut off your little thing, so what's the use of glaring at me? Of course, if you really want your treasure back, I'll have my servants make one out of mud later, and you can make do with it. The princess has been so generous, and if you dare glare at me again, I'll have Dashan gouge out your eyeballs."
Humph! Little Liuli’s words could be used by her to scare people.
"Mingzhu, Eunuch San Bao is not a eunuch."
The Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country explained with a faint smile.
"Then I don't want him either." Lin Zaozao flatly refused.
"Why?"
"His voice is sharp and thin. When he speaks, it's like five hundred ducks quarreling. For the sake of my ears' peace and quiet, I'd rather not have him. What's more, although his face is handsome, his body is as slender as a greyhound's, really nothing to look at."
Lin Zaozao glanced at Eunuch San Bao and couldn't help sighing to herself.
If he had a rod, with a pretty face like his, he would have been slept with by the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country in front of her countless times.
She wouldn't use something that had been used by others.
Because she found it disgusting.
But when Lin Zaozao's gaze inadvertently swept over Eunuch San Bao's eyes looking at Han Ye, she couldn't help feeling somewhat amused.
The throne of the Female Emperor of Fengshuo, she was really sitting on it unsteadily!
This Eunuch San Bao was interesting! Her brother Han Ye really was too amazing!
"Since Mingzhu doesn't like San Bao, auntie will prepare some beauties for you. Later if you come across one you like, just take them back and make them your little attendants, alright?"
"Sounds good! Then let me thank auntie in advance for her kindness."
Lin Zaozao said with a smiling face.
As soon as Lin Zaozao’s voice fell, the sound of strings and pipes reached Lin Zaozao's ears.
Following the sound, Lin Zaozao's eyes suddenly widened.
Because she saw more than a dozen beautiful men wearing skimpy clothes and just draped in a few rags, starting to dance provocatively in the center of the banquet to the music.
As the music grew more upbeat, the dancing of those dozen or so beauties became faster and faster.
That was nothing, after all they were beautiful men dancing, and Lin Zaozao had seen it before.
What surprised Lin Zaozao was that as they danced seductively, all those dozen or so beauties were exposing themselves...
Lin Zaozao stood there stiffly, looking at those beauties throwing coquettish glances at her. She could only feel her teeth hurting.
Damn, they didn't look as good as her Xiaotaohua at home, didn't have Han Ye's gentle temperament, didn't have Ye Yi's exotic charm, didn't have Fantian Baby's ethereal air, didn't have Murong Hai's rugged masculinity, and certainly didn't have the aloof air of Ruo Qiu and Little Xibei.
In short, these mincing creatures were, to put it bluntly, ugly as sin.
Most importantly, openly airing their birds in public was really too hard on the eyes.
Lin Zaozao was frozen-faced as she looked at those beauties constantly flirting with her. She could only feel her teeth aching.
Damn, they didn't look as good as her Xiaotaohua at home, didn't have Han Ye's gentle temperament, didn't have Ye Yi's exotic charm, didn't have Fantian Baby's ethereal air, didn't have Murong Hai's rugged masculinity, and certainly didn't have the aloof air of Ruo Qiu and Little Xibei.
In short, these posturing creatures were, to put it bluntly, ugly as sin.
Most importantly, blatantly displaying their birds in broad daylight was truly too hard on the eyes.
Lin Zaozao stood stiffly, looking at those beauties constantly throwing coquettish glances at her. She could only feel a toothache coming on.
"Mingzhu, do you see any that you like? These male attendants have been specially trained. In bed matters, once you try them, you will naturally feel their wonderful skills."
The Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country gently sipped her wine, her eyes full of lust.
"Auntie! These guys..."
Seeing Lin Zaozao hesitating as if she wanted to say something, the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country asked puzzledly.
"Mingzhu, what's the matter?"
"Auntie, these guys are really too vulgar. Seeing so many bare butts and birds swaying back and forth in front of my eyes, it's making my eyes burn and makes me want to rinse them out.
To be honest, if they were good-looking, or had nice figures, it would be fine. But they have absolutely no redeeming qualities.
Being so ugly yet acting so coquettishly, I really can't stand to look at them!"
Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country: "..."
With the Female Emperor of Fengshuo Country's silence, Han Ye, who had been quietly sitting next to Lin Zaozao, couldn't help but chuckle softly.
"Your Majesty, these people are indeed somewhat vulgar."
"Ah! Your Highness Han Ye is right, these male attendants are indeed somewhat vulgar." The Female Emperor of Fengshuo hastily agreed.
"Auntie! To be honest, if it wasn't for the nice environment here, just now I would have felt like I was sitting in a gay brothel.
To tell the truth, the male prostitutes in the brothels wear more than them. Those few rags they're wearing don't cover what should be covered at all, nor do they cover what shouldn't be covered.
They might as well just dance naked instead of wearing those few scraps!"
As soon as Lin Zaozao finished speaking, the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's eyes immediately turned cold. The way she looked at Lin Zaozao also gradually lost its warmth.
After seeing the change in the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's expression, Han Ye, who was sitting next to Lin Zaozao, raised the wine glass in his hand and smiled slightly at the Female Emperor of Fengshuo.
The next second, the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's face immediately changed from stern to gentle.
Lin Zaozao, who had been secretly observing the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's expression all along, couldn't help sighing when she saw the change. Leaning against a big tree like Han Ye really allowed her to enjoy the cool shade!
With Brother Han Ye here, she could really do whatever she wanted unscrupulously.
Seeing the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's anger but inability to speak out, Lin Zaozao's heart couldn't help but feel delighted.
This feeling was really great.
Putting away the corners of her mouth that were slightly upturned, Lin Zaozao grabbed the Female Emperor of Fengshuo's arm again and asked ingratiatingly, "Auntie! You must also know that I grew up among the common people since I was little. So sometimes I speak a little directly. Don't take offense! I'm sure my dear auntie won't hold it against me, right!"
"Of course not, of course not. How could auntie hold it against my Mingzhu!" The Female Emperor of Fengshuo said with a smile.
"Then thank you so much for your tolerance, auntie. Auntie, your 'flowers' are a little vulgar. Shall we change it up and get some more elegant ones to come dance instead? Even if they dance badly, at least they shouldn't expose themselves!"
As soon as Lin Zaozao finished speaking, Princess Qianyue, who had been looking for a chance to get even all along, immediately stood up and said,
"Since little sister Mingzhu likes more elegant ones, why don't we stop watching the dancing and compose poems using flower names instead?"
"Compose poems?"
Seeing the crafty look in Princess Qianyue's eyes, Lin Zaozao couldn't help but feel amused.
She couldn't compose poems, but she was very good at reciting poems.
However, she had come here mainly to avenge Fantian Baby, and had no interest in reciting poems.
She didn't want to recite good poems. But limericks, on the other hand, Lin Zaozao had a whole pile of them.
"But Princess Qianyue, I also said just now that I grew up among the common people. If the poems I compose later are not elegant enough, then you mustn't laugh at my bad poems!"
"Of course not." Princess Qianyue said with a smile.
Seeing the smile in Princess Qianyue's eyes, Lin Zaozao turned her head to look at the Female Emperor of Fengshuo and said,
"Auntie, last time outside the border city, Princess Qianyue wanted to have the imperial historian record me singing. So when composing poems later, shall we also find a historian to record my timeless masterpieces?"
"If Mingzhu wishes so, then I will invite a historian to record for you!"
"That's settled then!"
Lin Zaozao made a sign to Han Ye, then turned her head to look at Princess Qianyue and said,
"Princess Qianyue, tell me, what theme shall we use to compose poems? Let's see if I can come up with an immortal line given my limited education."
"Princess Ming Zhu, I also know that you grew up among the common people when you were young. So when we compose poems later, let's not limit the theme, just write whatever we like, alright?"
"Great! I like that. Since this was Sister Qianyue's suggestion, why don't you start composing first, and I, being not too educated, will wrap it up at the end? What do you think?"
"Sure, then I'll start composing the poem."
Princess Qianyue glanced at the eager Lin Zaozao. She tilted her head, her eyes darkening.
Upon receiving Princess Qianyue's hint, all the young ladies and gentlemen were now excited, ready to give Lin Zaozao a blow.
In a bit, if this Princess Ming Zhu doesn't know how to compose poems, then the rumor of the Queen of Han's lack of literary talent would spread to every corner of the rich Fengshuo and Canglan nations.
Having gotten a response from everyone, Princess Qianyue leaned against her husband Lvzhi's arms, pretending to be elegant as she slowly recited:
"Just because I caught your glance once, you occupy my thoughts night and day.
Under the longing tree I speak of longing, though my darling knows nothing of my yearning for him."
"Oh my! Very nice, Sister Qianyue really has excellent literary skills!"
Lin Zaozao clapped and praised.
Her face was smiling, but her eyes were full of disdain. She had thought Princess Qianyue would compose something impressive!
But this was it!
One couldn't blame her for looking down on it. Her taste had been refined by various masterpieces from before her transmigration.
Hearing Lin Zaozao's applause and praises, the other young ladies and gentlemen felt that even if they casually composed something later, it would definitely be better than Princess Ming Zhu's poem.
So next, the young ladies and gentlemen each displayed their own skills.
With no limit to the theme, one mediocre poem after another was composed by these young masters and misses.
Sitting in the main seat, Lin Zaozao listened to the others reciting poems. At first, she politely clapped for them at the appropriate times.
But in the end, Lin Zaozao really didn't want to listen anymore.
Because she saw Princess Qianyue and those young ladies and gentlemen showing off.
One word to describe it - annoying!
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