The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

I split with Pochi and came here, to the south of Eddo, as if avoiding her so that I could have a moment to myself…

…And to prepare for the inevitable battle.

“So… what did you say to her?”

Someone asked from behind me… not to actually ASK, but rather to affirm something she had already decided to be the case.

I turned around, and saw that that someone was none other than Irene.

“…What happened to YOU?”

…And the first thing I said to her ended up being a question.

Irene’s face is… well, more messed up than I have ever seen before. Her hair is all disheveled, and her eyes are bloodshot. It’s like she’s been crying for three days straight or something.

“N-never mind me. Just answer my question.”

“…I ordered her to stay alive.”

“Okay… That’s just about what I expected you to say.”

Irene said, seeming to have already understood and made peace with everything — the circumstances surrounding my giving Pochi that command, the content of the command itself, and how I felt when I did that.

“You’re not angry?”

“Why would I be? WHO would be?”

“Well…”

I pointed at Irene.

She proceeded to scratch her hair, heave a sigh, and sit down next to me.

Following her, I sat down as well.

“…Why would I be?”

Irene repeated her first question, but I could tell she meant it a little differently this time.

It’s not to actually get an answer out of me, but to find someone to agree with what she already believes.

“Oh, I also told her to kill the Hell Emperor.”

“Wow. What an asshole.”

That reply came almost immediately.

“I know.”

I also gave her my reply almost immediately.

But then Irene could not come up with a reply to THAT for quite a few moments.

“……It’s quite a gamble.”

“Yes, Pochi will have to give the fight everything she has, but she will win in the end. Without a doubt.”

Irene heaved another deep sigh, seemingly dissatisfied with the reply she got from me.

Is it just me, or does Irene sigh WAY more than usual whenever she’s with me?

“No, not THAT. By gamble, I meant… your feelings.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re not fooling anyone here. You FORCED her to agree to run away, didn’t you? Doing that to your best friend — it’s like you’re pretending to be cold-blooded so you can hold yourself together. You do realize that you’re walking on thin ice here, right?”

Walking on thin ice… yeah, that’s one way to describe it. And of course, I know that I’ve been playing dumb.

Gotta hand it to Irene — she’s always been one to pay attention to everything around her.

“So, anyway… Do you need something? I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“I should be the one asking that. I wasn’t expecting YOU here. What do you want?”

“Ah, well, I just had an idea for an anti-Lucifer magecraft…”

“You mean the spell that you’ll use to land a blow on him while he’s not paying attention?”

“That one is already done, actually. And again, it’s a magecraft, not magic.”

“Huh? T-then why did you come here instead of–“

“Well, there aren’t any monsters around anymore, so…”

“So what? Since Lucifer had them all gathered in one place, Regalia must have been turned into hell by now…”

“We can’t earn any experience points — so I thought, why don’t we make some on our own?”

“What?”

“Experience points, of course.”

The very moment I finished my sentence, Irene grabbed me by the collars of my shirt.

“You can do that!?”

“In theory, yes. It’s not at a functional level yet.”

“Explain.”

I nodded to Irene and stood up.

“Rise, A-rise, A-rise, A-rise… Darklight Eikon.”

I drew up a summoning Craft Circle — a type different from the Devil Summoning one.

What appeared from the Craft Circle before me was a dark-colored humanoid figure.

“It’s… not human, is it?”

“Yes. It may look human, but in reality, it’s a… higher-dimensional body that has been put together with the four core elements.”

“Y-you mean it’s alive…?”

Irene asked, shivering as she observed the higher-dimensional body. In response, I shook my head.

“It’s actually just a simulation of a life form, created by summoning the life force of plants and microorganisms, and wrapping them in the four core elements. Like puppets, so to speak. And so…”

I swung my staff at the higher-dimensional body, blowing it away.

“…By defeating it, I gain experience points.”

“Wow… Now this is actually impressive!”

Irene looked happy, but I shook my head just like before, reminding her not to celebrate just yet.

“The arcane energy needed to invoke this Craft once is 100,000. And the amount of experience points gained from defeating one is… just 1.”

In an instant, Irene turned her face down with a look of resignation in her eyes.

“So that’s what you meant when you said it’s not functional…”

“With my arcane energy, I can summon 30 at a time. Even if I were to use Giving Magic and invoke it all day, I’d only be able to gain only a few thousand experience points… Well, actually, probably less than 3,000.”

“And from what I just saw, the magecraft’s formula is ridiculously complicated. No one will be able to replicate it, and there aren’t that many people whose arcane energy is over 1,000… Yeah, as it is right now, it’s not useful.”

“Yes, so I thought it would be more constructive to reconfirm the capabilities of magitek and the possibilities they offer.”

“Magic Direction, Magic Table, Hide Spot, Deca Spell… those kinds of things?”

“Yes. And of course, I’m considering further possibilities for the magitek I already have as well.”

“Anything specific?”

“The most promising one right now is the Deca Spell… I guess.”

“Really? That sounds like the LEAST promising one to me. I mean, what, are you going to start drawing Circles with your toes as well? ……What’s that look for?”

“No way! How did you figure that out!? …That’s what the look is for. It’s a brilliant idea, don’t you think? I’ll call it the Eikosiena Spell!”

I said, holding up my index finger, and Irene grabbed it and squeezed it hard.

“Eikosiena!? But that’s 21! Where did that additional 1 even come from!?”

“Well, ears and eyes are out of the question because of how self-damaging it is to draw with them… so in addition to my fingers and toes, there is only one more thing I can draw with! Isn’t that amazing!? Can you tell what it is?”

“That’s… Ugh, you know what, I’ll judge AFTER I hear your answer…”

“My ass.”

And so Irene twisted my finger.

“OW–!? Whoa, whoa, stop! My finger isn’t strong enough to take on your full power yet! And why’d you use your full power, anyway!?”

“You are NOT fighting Lucifer without your shoes and pants!”

“Why not!? I mean, I’ve never worn anything over my hands– oh, that’s right! I can draw with my tongue, upping the number to 22! Gah–!? OWOWOWOWOWOW!! Uh…!? It actually hurts, you know!?”

“If you actually beat Lucifer with that, I’ll draw a picture book about it! And I’ll call it ‘Legend of the Ass Mage’!”

“Ooh, that’s a good idea! I’m sure it’ll be a big hit with the kids–“

“–HELL NO, IT WON’T!!”

“AHHHHHH!?”

I have absolutely no idea why Irene is so angry with me, but it looks like this idea is never going to go through.

I was pretty confident about this, but after calmly thinking it over, I realized that if Lucifer were to try copying me, my chances of winning would be slim.

After all, Lucifer can also use the Deca Spell… So it shouldn’t take him any effort to learn to draw Circles with his ass as well.

As expected of Irene — she foresaw that my technique would be stolen by the enemy. She truly is a Philosopher of the modern day. It would do me and Tūs good if we were to learn to be more like her.

“Well!? What about the other magitek!?”

“Well, the things I have in mind are… Muscle Magic, Rewrite Magic, and Gamma Lock…”

When I said that, Irene finally let go of my hand. Then, after a moment of apparent surprise, she crossed her arms and said, a little embarrassed,

“W-well, at least you have SOME sane ideas…”

Hehehe… I know, right?

“But that first one? Forget about it.”

First one? What does she even mean by that?

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