The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

“…All right.”

I woke up, tightened the laces on my boots, and stood up. 

It’s a perfectly ordinary task — a routine I’ve repeated tens of thousands of times by now.

Now that it’s been a day after the fierce battle with Devil King Lucifer, I have more or less fully recovered. 

The physical part of it is thanks to drinking Pochibitan D and using the Holy Virgin’s Boundary magecraft. My mental state, on the other hand, has been restored thanks to everyone’s concern for me. I have nothing but gratitude for them — and the fact that everyone was safe made me super relieved.

“Hmm… Nope, not good, sir!”

My Familiar Pochi said as she looked in the mirror.

“Why? Isn’t it the same as always?”

“No, it’s not! Look, right here, sir! My fur is ruffled… and I can’t fix it!”

And it turns out she’s not exaggerating — a little bit of her fur is pointing up, and no matter how many times she presses it down, it would spring back up once she lets go.

“Even combing it with my favorite comb didn’t work! You have to do something, Master!”

“Uh, that doesn’t look like something a little water can’t fix.”

“I don’t think that’s appropriate, sir! Not for a lady like me!”

“Lady, my ass! You’re over 800 years old, damn it!”

“And you’re over 5,000 years old! You’re not supposed to even be a student anymore, sir!”

“No one is too old for education! And I’m the head professor, you know!”

“Well, then I’m the head professor’s secretary!”

“Secretary, my ass! All you do is eat and sleep!”

“That’s what secretaries do nowadays, sir! You’re always challenging new things, so why aren’t you accepting this change, sir!?”

“Okay, fine! Do what you want! Just don’t complain about your fur being ruffled from sleeping so damn much!”

“No, not that! I meant the part where I eat things!”

“You’re worrying about your ruffled fur when you eat!? What the hell!?”

“Is that how you think you should talk to a lady, sir!?”

“Lady, my ass! You’re over 800 years old, damn it!”

“And you’re over 5,000 years old! You’re not supposed to even be a student anymore, sir!”

“No one is too old for education! And I’m the head professor, you know!”

“Well, then I’m the head professor’s secretary!”

“Why are you repeating yourself!?”

“You’re the one who started repeating yourself first, Master!”

“If you’re the lady you claim to be, then you shouldn’t be shouting like that!!”

“FOOL!!”

“FURBALL!!”

“Good morning♪”

The sliding door of the room opened, and the one who walked in was Lina — also known as the Silent Witch —  my very first student.

Her appearing like that, interrupting our childish argument, really showed me how much she has matured.

“Good morning, Lina.”

“G-good morning…”

Pochi, still concerned about her ruffled fur, never took her hands off her head. 

That unusual behavior does not go unnoticed by Lina, of course.

“Oh, is something the matter, Pochi?”

“N-nothing! Uh, no, I mean… Well…”

Looks like she knew that it was the right moment to say something, but she ended up missing the crucial timing of it.

“…That’s it! M-my Master just hit me!”

“Hell no, I didn’t!”

“Ah — look! He’s clenching his fists! Watch out, Lina.”

“You little shit…!”

As Pochi was starting to tick me off for real, Lina squatted down and took a closer look at her.

“You know what, Pochi? I’ll take a look.”

“Hwuh–!?”

Good thing she couldn’t fool Lina with her lies — which makes sense; they’ve known each other for quite a few years now.

As the both of us started laughing at Pochi, someone else appeared from behind Lina — it was Tifa. my second disciple and the current Public Morals Enforcer at the Magic University, Tifa, appeared from behind Lina. She’s my second apprentice and the current Public Morals Enforcer of the Magic University… and according to some rumors Bruce has been passing around, she’s also known as the ‘Dark Ruler’ there. Well, I think that last part must be some kind of mistake, though.

“Sir Asley! Pochi! It’s time for breakfast!”

Tifa, despite being here just to tell us breakfast was ready, showed some concern as she happened to see Lina looking at Pochi’s head. 

She said…

“Wow, your fur is SUPER messed up.”

…And proceeded to sit down next to Lina.

“Uhh… This is embarrassing…”

Pochi covered her eyes with her front paws, unable to face the two.

And then, Fuyu appeared. She’s a former commanding officer of the Royal Capital Magic Guardians, and also a close assistant to Gaston the Great Mage of Flame. And she seems to… have some complaints.

“There you are, Tifa! What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be calling everyone!”

…Is there some kind of schedule in place for breakfast announcements?

“…Oh.”

Even Fuyu could only utter a single word when seeing Pochi’s ruffled hair. 

Lina, Tifa, and Fuyu tried to flatten or pat down Pochi’s fur with their fingers, but it just would not stay in place. 

As the three of them kept trying, Haruhana arrived. She’s a former high-class restaurant courtesan, and after being free from the so-called Colorful Food Distract, she’s known among adventurers as the Silver Princess. If my arcane energy perception is correct, there are several people — adventurers and civilians alike — waiting for Haruhana outside the Silver Mansion right now. Despite the world being thrown into chaos, it’s good to see them in high spirits — or maybe they’re getting more aggressive in their pursuit precisely because of how unpredictable the situation has become.

“Excuse me, Pochi. Please try using this.”

Haruhana offered Pochi a comb.

“Uh, but… I already tried with my comb, and it didn’t work…”

Pochi showed a troubled expression, and Haruhana smiled quietly.

“Now, there is no need to worry.”

Saying that, Haruhana proceeded to comb Pochi’s head a few times.

Then, in the blink of an eye, the messy fur was no more. 

Everyone present was amazed, their expressions perfectly synchronized.

“”Wow…””

Pochi, eyes agape in surprise, grabbed Haruhana’s slender arm and drew closer.

“That was amazing! What happened!? What did you do!? What magic spell did you use!?”

Amazing, indeed. Pochi’s struggled to fix her fur for so long, yet she’s taken care of it in an instant. 

Everyone seems as amazed as Pochi and I are, seeing that their reactions are identical to one another.

“Haruhana! Where’d you get that comb from!?”

Unlike Pochi, though, Lina seems to have sensed that the mystery lies in the comb.

“I was about to ask the same! Please tell us, Haru!”

Fuyu has the same idea as Lina.

“I’ll have to buy myself one as well! Mm-hm!”

Tifa joined in, already planning a shopping trip for later.

Seeing their eagerness, Haruhana chuckled softly.

“The comb is finely crafted, yes, but the secret is in the camellia oil. It is sold by a shop on the outskirts of the commercial district.”

“Camellia oil! That sounds amazing! I want some, too!”

“Take us there after breakfast!”

“Yes! Let’s go!”

“I’m going, too!”

Pochi, Lina, Fuyu, and Tifa approached Haruhana with excitement, and she gracefully entertained them, wearing an adult-like expression of composure. Really, it’s amazing how mature she is, considering she’s just about the same age as the others. 

Still, we’re in the era of the Demon King now. I’ll have to remind them of that.

“C’mon, are you sure you should be doing that? We’re at war right now–!?!?”

The moment I began speaking, four pairs of eyes bore sharply into me.

I feel… just as threatened as when I was facing off against Demon King Lucifer…! Why!? Why are they glaring at me so fiercely for saying that? And why did Haruhana let out such a deep sigh!?

“Master! There are some things you just aren’t supposed to say to girls, you know!”

“Sir Asley! I don’t know what you were arguing with Pochi about earlier, but what you just said is totally not okay!”

“This is extremely serious business for us girls, I say!”

“You reminded me a bit of Tarawo just now, Sir Asley.”

Pochi, despite having insisted that she was a ‘lady’ up until a moment ago, now is calling herself one of the ‘girls’…

Lina, despite usually being shy, now is raising her voice against me…

Fuyu, who would usually carry out her duties without uttering a word, has become remarkably lively…

And Tifa, once a small and adorable girl, now regards a Wolf King Garm with utter disrespect…

Then there’s Haruhana, now a beautiful young woman with too many admirers to count, staying calm amid all this chaos…

“…Uh, was I really supposed to not say that?”

“”YES!!””

What the hell!?

Visit and read more novel to help us update chapter quickly. Thank you so much!