The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

“You’re still here, Haruhana? Weren’t you supposed to go to Hita’achi with everyone else?”

Haruhana smiled in response to my confused question… But she did not give an actual answer.

She proceeded to wave her hand as a sign for me to wait — probably for the food to be ready — before immediately heading into the kitchen. I tilted my head, and leaving my question aside for now, I dragged Pochi by her hind legs to the bathroom.

“”PWAH!””

We washed our faces and wiped off the water with towels, staying in perfect sync all the while — one of those routines that we’ve been keeping up for literal centuries. It’s so strange how, for some reason, our wavelengths match at times like this.

“So, Haruhana was there, sir?”

“Yeah, and she’s making breakfast.”

“That’s strange. I thought Mana was the one who’s supposed to stay behind…”

“The hell!? You already knew that!?”

And she’s acting like I’m the one in the wrong here? Good God.

“Did you already forget what Bruce said yesterday, sir? That they will be ‘keeping in touch with Itsuki back at our old place, and she’ll be sending the kids over so they could live here instead’? Just you and me won’t be enough to manage that, don’t you think?”

“And so they need to have at least one more person in the house at all times…”

“That’s right, sir. Mana and Haruhana played rock-paper-scissors so many times, as ‘practice,’ supposedly. Mana won most of those practice rounds, but in the end, Haruhana won the round that actually counted, I guess?”

Grown women… ‘practicing’ rock-paper-scissors? I don’t understand the need for that. 

And the one who won had to stay behind? Did those two actually want to stay home instead?

I mean, it’s definitely more beneficial for them to go out and participate in high-difficulty monster hunts.

I put a hand over my chin and thought about it while walking toward the living room. Pochi stared at me for a moment and proceeded to heave a sigh.

“Hah…”

And I don’t like the sound of that sigh at all.

We went back to the living room, and saw that Haruhana was sitting at the table, next to a cushion.

While Pochi and I were distracted by the appetizing grilled fish on the plates and bowls of soup, Haruhana lowered her head and said,

“Let us try that again: Good morning.”

And so, in the spur of the moment, I lowered my head in the same greeting-like pose.

“Y-yeah. Good morning.”

I’m feeling super awkward over here, probably because I haven’t gotten used to this Nation’s culture yet. Pochi seems to be following along just fine, though — oh, wait, it’s because she’s quadrupedal. Of course.

“Please, have a seat.”

As told by Haruhana, Pochi and I sat on the light red cushions in front of the table. Seeing that we were properly seated, Haruhana proceeded to sit on her cushion as well.

And I found myself being distracted by the food again, what with all of them being things I had seen before.

“Master, Master! Hurry up!”

“Hmm? Oh, you go ahead and lead the prayer today, Pochi.”

“Yes, sir!”

Pochi shouted out as if to celebrate the end of a long wait, then she proceeded to put her front paws together. Haruhana and I also put our hands together and waited for Pochi to start praying. Ah, yes, offering our gratitude to God for–

“–Thanks for the grub, God! Another serving for me, please!”

“What the– how!? Where’d all your food go!?”

“They have become my flesh and blood!”

“You already digested it all or what!? You sure there’s nothing wrong with your stomach acid!?”

“Surely my stomach acid is strong enough to kill an Ogre King now, sir!”

Ugh, this is bad. Pochi’s seeing only food and nothing else now. She’s even lost her ability to detect my blatant sarcasm.

Well, she IS a Heavenly Beast now. Maybe her stomach acid has actually gotten that strong and… lethal. Maybe I should pick some up for a detailed analysis next time she vomits.

“Here you go, Pochi.”

“Ooh! Thank you! More, please!”

Man, it feels like I’m looking at those T’oued noodles being served — the type that’s served in small bows for customers to eat quickly, then immediately refilled so that customers could continue eating.

Yeah, just like that kind of serving, Pochi’s bowl of rice is being repeatedly refilled by Haruhana. The contents of the huge rice tub behind Haruhana are disappearing at an unbelievable rate — hell, I didn’t even know there was a rice tub there until I looked more closely! There’s even a note on it, saying ‘POCHI ONLY’ in brush ink. Haruhana probably wrote that, seeing how neat the handwriting looks. There’s also some kind of coating on top of it — maybe done by Haruhana as well.

Haruhana and I finally started eating by the time Pochi started slowing down.

“What’s this white, pudding-like block?”

“That is called tofu. It was made by pressing soybean milk curd.”

“And what’s in this soup?”

“It is called Miso.”

“Miso? What’s that?”

“Surely you have had some before? It is a reddish brown seasoning paste, made from fermented soybeans.”

“Right, soybean paste… What about these green, bumpy plants?”

“They are called edamame. Immature soybeans, boiled while they are still in their pods.”

“Oh yeah, and the sauce on the tofu?”

“It is called shoyu. A savory sauce made from fermented soybeans.”

“–!? The crunchy stuff that was in the soup…!?”

“They were soybean sprouts. Grown by… well, sprouting soybeans.”

“–!?!? T-then, the stretchy cakes that Pochi is having for dessert–!?”

“Rice cakes. Made from… well, rice.”

“Ah, o-okay.”

“Oh, but the seasoning powder that goes with it? Roasted soybean flour.”

“……Yeah, looks like I’ll be doing some soybean research the next chance I get.”

While surprised by all the stuff I’d never had before, I was also impressed by how delicious they turned out to be.

Haruhana proceeded to explain that, since we would be staying in T’oued long term, she had studied thoroughly so that she could cook with the common ingredients in T’oued.

Pochi seems to particularly enjoy the rice cakes, what with her trying several pieces with various seasonings such as roasted soybean flour, sweet soy sauce, and grated radish.

After the meal, Haruhana started taking the dishes to the kitchen. I tried to help her, but she did not let me.

“No, Sir Asley, you already have your tasks to complete.”

The look in her eyes was stronger and more insistent than usual, so much so that I saw no choice but to listen to her.

And so I left Pochi in the living room, heading back to my room by myself.

“Now then… Sorry, team Silver, but I’m going to remodel just this one room…”

And it’s going to be my ideal laboratory!

With that in mind, I cast Storeroom so that I could put away all the furnishings that were already in the room. But then, some strange voices echoed out from the Spell Circle’s opening.

“Huh? W-what’s that!?”

“I see the light… The light…!”

“Hah… hah… hah… hah…”

This can’t be good…

I slowly peeked into the Storeroom, keeping my guard up.

Then I quickly pulled my head out, shook my head and tried again… then pulled my head out again.

I couldn’t believe what I saw — two unknown silhouettes writing in the darkness.

“Water… Water…!”

The first voice sounded husky and monster-like…

“Hah… hah… hah…!”

…And so did the second.

Strange. Did some monsters happen to get in when I opened the Storeroom the other day?

Wait, no, that doesn’t make sense. I mean, are monsters even supposed to know human language? Their arcane energy signs are weak, so at least I don’t have to worry about them attacking me, but… Wait a second…

“Hmm hm hmm~~♪ Hmm hm hmm~~♪ Hmm hm hmm~~♪ …Hey, Master~~!”

Here comes Pochi, finally back from the living room. And she’s humming — is it an actual song or some random tune?

If it’s a song, I’d really like to know what the lyrics of that first part were — Wait, now isn’t the time to worry about that!

“Rise, Torch!”

Lighting up the Storeroom revealed two pairs of bloodshot eyes, glaring my way as if they were going to stab me. And when the rest of their faces were revealed, my brain had to take a moment to process what I was seeing… after which I could not help but shake my head.

“Huh? What’s wrong, Master? Your face is looking… super pale right now?”

With Pochi asking me that, I felt streams of cold sweat running down my face and back.

Right. That’s it. Because of how busy we’ve been, everyone — Me, Pochi, the Silver trio, Lylia — all forgot about THEM.

These two kinda-important people who got in our way during the mission…

“Pochi, this is bad… Two of the Six Braves are in the Storeroom.”

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