The Principle of a Philosopher by Eternal Fool “Asley”

Man, it’s been nothing but weird stuff happening lately.

Why is Irene here, in the hideout of the Resistance? Trace is standing right next to her, too. I don’t know if the former Six Braves, Jennifer the Bone Fist, is here right now… but with Viola and Hornel here, this gathering of characters is bound to feel awkward.

“Go ahead, sit anywhere you like, everyone.”

Doing as told, we all sat on the chairs in front of the long, rectangular table.

…For some reason, Warren pointed at a specific spot for me to sit: the far right side of the table, closest to Irene.

And as I sat down, Warren whispered something… interesting into my ears.

“Apologies, there’s no good reason for this — just something I promised to Miss Irene.”

Leaving aside whatever promise that was for now, I wonder… why is Sayla not here?

“Um, where’s Miss Sayla?”

Then Viola, apparently the only one who knew what was going on, started explaining to get me up to speed.

“Lady Sayla’s connection to the Resistance was exposed by Billy…”

“…A loss most regrettable.”

Warren added, pushing up his glasses — but he didn’t sound particularly affected.

The look on Irene’s face did not change all that much, either.

…Which means it must’ve happened quite a while ago.

“The Resistance’s morale was bound to deflate following Miss Sayla’s absence, so I went to Beilanea and scouted for some new members…”

Warren cracked a grin.

Aha, so that’s when he contacted Irene.

“It’s impressive that you actually got her to join…”

“Well, I did bait her with yo–“

“–WEEEEEE’VE gotten far enough off track, Warren!”

Irene hastily stopped Warren as he was about to finish his explanation.

That makes me even more curious! What was Warren about to say just now?

“Now, back on track — where have you… wait, where’s Pochi?”

Whoops, totally forgot.

I opened my Storeroom–

“BWAAAHHH!? MASTER!? WHY WAS I SLEEPING IN THERE!?”

–And Pochi immediately popped out, sobbing a waterfall.

“What is this place!? Who am I!? Who are YOU!? I’m hungry! Master! MASTER! Is it time for snacks yet!?”

Pochi grabbed and shook me by the collar of my shirt, and eventually, she noticed the different-ness of the place she found herself in.

Lina and Fuyu chuckled, while Hornel and Irene sighed out of exasperation.

“Huh? What going on, sir? Didn’t we have an appointment with Lord Sagan?”

“We already met him.”

“And don’t we have to say goodbye to Giorno and Lylia?”

“Did that ages ago.”

“…Wait, so we’re not back home yet?”

“We’ve been back for hours now.”

Warren and Irene’s faces twitched a little.

Welp, looks like they figured it out.

“Aha! So we ARE home! Hello, everyone! Pochi, everyone’s hero of justice, has returned!”

Pochi stood on the table and struck a pose, and Lina and Fuyu played along, giving her a cheerful round of applause.

To Pochi’s ears, though, the applause must sound like it came from a crowd of hundreds… or something.

“Hey, settle down!”

Irene the so-called Invincible Sprout harshened her tone, prompting Pochi to stop swaggering around.

Told off by a voice she recognized, Pochi stopped posing and quietly sat down next to me.

“Master! Why did you tell me to do that!? Didn’t I tell you not to mess around, sir!?”

“You never told me not to, actually! And I never told you to do anything!”

“No, you totally did! You said it that time when… Yes, that time!”

“Oh, really!? How about you give me a detailed written report about what ‘that time’ was, huh!?”

“Fwheh!? …Let’s not do that, sir.”

Pochi proceeded to start mumbling to herself.

And then someone stopped her… No, not me.

“SETTLE! DOWN!”

Her tone was harsher than before. And her annoyed face was the same as ever.

Irene IS doing the right thing here, of course. Hopefully Pochi will shut up–

“…Good morning, ma’am.”

Is THAT what you thought you needed to say, my dear Familiar?

“Good morning.”

And Irene actually replied to that… Man, I gotta appreciate her kindness more.

Ah– oh no. Our eyes met just now.

“…By ‘Sagan,’ were you referring to Lord Sagan, the previous War Demon Emperor?”

She did respect him a great deal, so I suppose it’s natural that that’d be the first thing that came to mind.

“Moreover, you just brought up two legendary names so casually…”

And it’s only natural that Warren recognized those names. They were bound to come up with a little bit of research into the legend of the Holy Warriors.

Then again, he’d have to dig fairly deep to get the names, so one could say that he got pretty into it… Well, not that I’m one to talk.

“Um… are Giorno and Lylia supposed to be famous people?”

Lina raised her hand and asked.

Looks like Hornel isn’t familiar with those names, either.

“…Both of those names are of the Holy Warriors who defeated the Devil King.”

Oh, so Viola knew as well. Heard about them from Gaston, maybe?

“Giorno the Hero, Lylia the Fighter… and Poer the Mage.”

Just as Warren said the last part, Lina turned to me. Hornel seemed to have noticed, too.

These people already know our real names, so they were sure to figure out right away that we had been going by aliases, damn it…

“Hehehe… HAHAHA!!”

Warren burst into laughter, while Irene stared daggers at me.

“I see, I see! And I was wondering where you had gone, too… You were sent back in time, weren’t you, Asley?”

“”–!?””

Now EVERYONE is staring daggers at me.

Oof, my stomach is starting to ache…

“Master, Master!”

“What is it, Pochi?”

“Everyone’s eyes are on us, sir…”

Pochi whispered to me, sounding happy. I’ll have to settle with a little flick to her forehead for now…

“Ouch.”

…And she still sounds happy. Okay, fine, I’ll leave her alone for now.

Instead, I proceeded to talk about what Pochi and I had been up to, while keeping things as concise as possible.

But of course, I left out the part where I met Irene in the past. She’s right here, yes, but her memory of our meeting was erased by God.

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆

“Holy hell, that is SICK! Warren! Bro! You’re friends with Holy Warrior Poer! Ahahahahahaha!”

The first to react at Jennifer the Bone Fist, who burst out laughing. She really is too different from Warren, considering that she’s the latter’s older sister.

“Oh, yes, I am so happy to have such a wonderful friend, Jenny.”

And this guy really said that with a straight face, huh?

“No way… Sir Asley is…”

Fuyu cast her eyes down, her shoulders shaking… Huh? Why?

What’s gotten into her? Wait… Lina, too?

What the hell is going on?

“H-hey… did something happen?”

Fuyu stood up and bolted out of the room.

“Fuyu!”

And then Lina went right after her.

“W-wait, Lina!”

I was about to get up when Warren, standing behind me, pressed me down by my shoulder.

“Hey–“

“Those two ran off because you are here in this room. Go after them, and you’ll only drive them further away.”

“What? Why? Did I do… something?”

“Don’t you get it, Asley?”

Hornel spoke up instead of Warren.

“What are you trying to say, Hornel?”

“Both Lina and Fuyu have fought hard to get to this point. And if it weren’t for them, yesterday would have ended even worse. That’s how far they’ve come!”

Hornel’s tone gradually grew harsher and harsher.

Yes, I know — those two have given everything their all. But what does that have anything to do with them leaving the room just now?

“Look, you’d have to be a real fool to be so oblivious!”

Man, that’s another nail in the coffin that is my trademark title.

“Calm down, Hornel.”

“But Warren, I–!”

“Asley, those two have spared no effort in their endeavors because they wanted to catch up to you. The incident yesterday has… stressed them out, to say the least. Surely they were happy to see you return — you, the one who is sure to see and acknowledge their every effort. But now… they realized that the very same you has been… fighting even harder.”

“…Ah.”

What Warren said just now reminded me of something extremely important.

“Asley, note how those two attached themselves to you as soon as you arrived here. After hearing your story, they must have realized that they were doing that simply to satisfy themselves… Not that it’s a bad thing, mind you. But it IS an issue when their goal is to be on your level — to be by your side. To fight alongside you. They’ve lost sight of that goal for but a brief moment… and they couldn’t forgive themselves for it. Hehehe, they sure are adorable, don’t you think? Ah, here I am, rambling on and on…”

Yup, I’ve heard enough.

Standing up with my rod, I feel Pochi’s fur brushing against my leg.

Looking down, I see Pochi walking toward the door.

Then turned to me and winked — as if to say “leave it to me!”

Nope, I don’t think I’d trust her to resolve this serious of a situation.

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